Issues with Itachi
by randomqueenwilla
Summary: An OC,Akira, is minding her own business when Itachi decides to kidnap her and make her join the Akatsuki. Funny semi serious. ItachiXOC, slight GaaraXOC Starting from chapter 7
1. Chapter 1

Ok so this is my Itachi story that I wrote since the idea decided to bother me even though I am working on a different story. Disclaimer: I own nothing...but my character and basic plot

I will have to different endings for this story one that dosen't ahve manga spoilers andone that does, it will be marked but until that I haven't included any spoilers.

The story starts in the time period before Sasuke goes to Orochimaru.

* * *

I followed the Shiny: Issues with Itachi chapter one

I look back at my small home, it only has about four rooms (I don't count the bathroom), and I sigh because it's dirty. Houses are always dirty. I need supplies, food and other things. I am still standing there because once I start walking I will have to walk into the town, which is really far. I mean seriously why is it so far, oh yeah because I live in the outskirts of my village (yes I said town before but it's been demoted, someone left or something).

I finally decide that I really should get going, since not going now would mean traveling in the dark through the woods that everyone knows is not safe but does anyway. (But I don't want to chance it since I am not a ninja)

* * *

On the way back from getting supplies (it was a boring trip so I won't bore you with the details) I hurried home because it was starting to get dark. As I was passing the 59th tree and the rock that is shaped like a rock I noticed something shinny in the trees. So being the responsible person I am I ignored every bit of common sense I have and decided to walk into the woods (the denser part since I have been in the woods this entire time) and thus leave the trail which is supposed to be followed for several good reasons.

Reason one: not getting lost.

Reason two: not getting hurt on branches or tripping over roots (although I have done both while on the trail, but that's besides the point).

Reason three: animals (because apparently animals don't like trails).

And finally Reason four: because dangerous ninja people don't use trails

So I followed the shinny, it moving should have been a good reason not to follow it but I was ignoring common sense, and it led me to a clearing. I wonder about those clearings in the woods, I mean how do they get there? Why don't the trees want to live there? Why is it described with the word meadow if it is referring to the same thing only more poetically? (Not so much the last one)

So I stand there pondering like and idiot as, a guess what, ninja comes out. Now I don't discriminate I like ninja fine but he had a slash going through his forehead protector so I knew this was one of the bad ninja. Now what I don't get is why wear your slashed forehead protector, or even just a regular forehead protector, when you are incognito? I mean if I want to not be a ninja that's the first thing to go.

So now I am standing there starring at this evil ninja who is now smirking. Smirking…I wonder if that means he will kill me? After I think this I decide to do the one thing that might work against an evil ninja, bribery.

"Ok, um, evil ninja guy, would you not kill me if I go home and not mention anything that has happened?"

"Who said I would kill you?" He asked his smirk leaving his face, which I took as being a good thing.

"The smirk, would you do it if I cooked you dinner?" I ask trying not to think that the sentence reminded me of when Scooby-Doo is bribed with a Scooby snack.

"I require a place to stay the night." He said not breaking eye-contact with me. This required careful thinking and foresight. I must weigh my options, I mean he is evil so he may kill me in my sleep, but he might do that while I am awake if I don't agree.

"Ok." I said then about faced, yes I turned my back on him brilliance huh, so that I can go back the exact way I came in order to get back to the trail so I can find my way back.

Apparently my new evil friend did not think I could walk fast enough so he picked me up and threw me unceremoniously onto his shoulder.

"Is this really necessary?" I ask him calmly.

"Yes." He stated, I could just hear the smirk, and then proceeded to take me to my house. How he knew where it was I don't even want to know. Stalker.

"Who are you?" I ask bluntly and a bit randomly as I am getting bored trying not to look at his bum (it's right there) or get hit by braches.

"Itachi Uchiha." He answered then tightened his hold.

"So, I really am screwed if you don't want me to live." I pondered as we continued.

"Is this it?" Itachi asked letting me down in front of my house.

"Yes. You can take a shower or something as I get dinner ready; um towels are in the closet that looks like a linen closet in the bathroom. There's a robe some dude left here there too." I say gesturing towards the bathroom after I decided that I should keep the fact that he is an evil ninja in the back of my mind.

"Some dude?" Itachi asked raising his eyebrow.

"Yeah he got lost in the woods and stumbled upon me as I was hanging laundry. I let him wash up, fed him, and then sent him on his way. He was a trader that sold bathrobes and towels so he gave me some in payment."

"Odd that a towel and bathrobe merchant was way out here."

"Well in his defense he was lost, but I suspect that he was actually a ninja." I said then I thought 'but unlike you he is sneaky and did not wear his forehead protector'.

"Probably."

* * *

After Itachi showered and I made dinner (since making dinner is boring and I have no clue what Itachi did in the shower, nor do I want to know) we sat at the table and ate, in silence. Agonizing silence, not happy serene silence where everyone can communicate silently or no words need to be said, no this was creepy staring silence with some eating. Do you know how unnerving it is to have someone watch you eat? I was eating and every time I looked up he was staring.

Eating potatoes staring.

Drinking water staring (actually this feat really impressed me, it seems really hard to stare at someone while drinking).

After I was done eating, he finished before me because I am slow, we decided to have a staring contest. When I say we decided I really mean that Itachi was staring at me and I stared at him because I thought that staring was now the cool thing to do. Our contest lasted until he smirked evilly at me, that was it for me, and I looked outside.

After looking outside I decided it was late so I went to sleep, after telling Itachi to sleep in my guest room and locking my door (bedroom and front door). Unfortunately for me ninja's really don't care about locks. So I was sleeping nonchalantly in my bed when Itachi broke my door.

Yes he broke it, no subtle lock picking like a sneaky ninja, no he just punched it and it broke. Actually if it broke with just a punch maybe I just had a really weak door. Maybe he did me a favor by showing me the shoddiness of my door. This way if I get a better door than maybe it won't brake with one punch, oh wait he's a ninja…that door had no chance.

So he broke into my room and woke me up, how dare he. So like a normal person (my version of normal is a bit off) I stared at the door for a minute. After staring at the door I decided to look from the door (wood pieces) to Itachi then back again. This continued until Itachi took a step towards me. I decided it was in my best interest to flee. Now my mind apparently wasn't working this entire day because if it was I would have remembered that he is a ninja. So like people with common sense can guess I was easily caught and taken to the Akatsuki.

* * *

Itachi takes me to see the leader about joining the Akatsuki. This I don't get. Last I checked the Akatsuki was a criminal organization with ninjas in it. I am neither, at least last I checked. I also wonder why Itachi asked to stay at my house if he was going back to his base anyway.

"So this is the girl you brought." The leader asks or tells Itachi I am not sure it was really a question or not. It seems obvious to me that yeah I am a girl and Itachi did bring me. Maybe I am giving the leader too much credit.

"Yes." Itachi answered simply.

"You will join Akatsuki and be on Itachi and Kisame's team." The leader announced looking at me then at Itachi for confirmation, Itachi nodded to him.

"I don't want to be on Itachi's team." I say boldly since my mind is still broken.

"Why not?" Itachi asked clearly angry.

"I want to be on someone's team that has better eye sight." I say startling both Itachi and the leader. Then I realize what I just said and put my hand in front of my mouth as if that will get me out of the mess I got myself into.

"You know more than you let on," the leader said looking at me differently from before, "I will allow you to join Hidan and Kakuza's team." He finished causing Itachi to glare at the leader, apparently he wanted me on his team or something.

"Don't I need a ring or something in order to join?" I ask as my last argument that allows me to not turn him down and not joining the Akatsuki.

"That will be your initiation test."

End of chapter

* * *

So I decided that I should shamelessly advertize my other story at the end of this one...well here goes...

My friend Linda and I are writing a story where we enter the Bleach world during the time when Rukia is supposed to be executed, while there we have a party. During the party the Naruto characters join us. this story is completely random with only the tinest of plot...it's called One Random Day. So if you like my humor in this one, it's even sillier in that one.

Preview for the next chapter: How I got into the Akatsuki

_"What if you found me running away?" I ask more curious than smart. Here's a tip never reveal your escape plan to the one who has kidnapped you._

_"Then you will die." The leader said still smirking. Death is imminent now._

_"What if I am found but have failed to acquire the ring?" I ask because it seems to be the most likely outcome._


	2. How I got into the Akatsuki part 1

I don't really have much to say other than I don't own Naruto and I am really hungry.

This chapter is brought to you by power outages- they happen.

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How I got into the Akatsuki: Issues with Itachi chapter two

Ok so last time I was told by the leader that getting my ring was my initiation test after being brought before him by Itachi and stupidly pointing out my lack of ring.

* * *

"What's my initiation test?" I ask playing stupid because I really didn't want to be in the Akatsuki. I mean it's just dangerous; I can't even protect myself let alone fulfill missions for the leader.

"Getting your ring, Akira." The leader answered calmly. (I decided that I needed to name the OC character and Akira popped into my head)(Plus you have to love alliteration Akira in Akatsuki)

"It wouldn't happen to be in a store somewhere and I just have to earn enough money for it?" I ask hopefully, hey if I do have to buy it then I can claim I don't have money and get a job and never earn enough, that's what I would tell the Akatsuki anyway.

"No, Orochimaru has it."

"The leader of sound? The snake guy?" I ask now concerned not only for my freedom (from the Akatsuki) but also for my life.

"Yes." The leader answered smirking. Oh no smirking I'm doomed. He knows I will die.

"Well, when do I leave?" I ask hoping that maybe I can get myself lost in the woods and never have to return. Maybe I can leave and just never come back. Itachi will find me if I go home but if I go anywhere else he might not.

"As soon as we are done talking, but if you do not return in three weeks we will send out our members to retrieve you."

"What if you found me running away?" I ask more curious than smart. Here's a tip never reveal your escape plan to the one who has kidnapped you.

"Then you will die." The leader said still smirking. Death is imminent now.

"What if I am found but have failed to acquire the ring?" I ask because it seems to be the most likely outcome.

"Then you will become our official chief." Apparently Itachi has informed him of my cooking skills. I never thought I would wish that I didn't have them. Oh wait if I had no cooking skills and I was brought to the Akatsuki I might have been killed. Yay cooking skills never thought you would save my life. Actually cooking skills saving my life wouldn't be that incredibly strange, I mean you could starve without them.

"That sounds good, let's go with that." I answer because it doesn't seem that bad of a job, compared to risking your life on missions. I would be safe in the lair cooking food, mmmm food.

"That is not an option because I would like you to join us."

"Why? I mean you all are powerful ninja and I am a girl who hasn't had any ninja training, I mean I don't even know if I have chakra." I wonder, although maybe I do have Chakra. Maybe my book uses it that could be how it's magical. Maybe I should ask my magical book, it knows everything. On second thought maybe I should wait until I am not in a room with the leader of the Akatsuki and Itachi, since I don't want them to steal my book it's my precious.

"It's odd that someone who lives so far from civilization to know so much about ninja's including Itachi who hasn't told many about his eyesight."

"It was a good guess?"

"I think that you have some way of knowing things, so I want to use that to my advantage."

"If I do wouldn't I be of more use in the lair?" I mean logically you wouldn't want someone who has the power to know things to get killed.

"If you tell me how you know now I will make sure you never leave here again." The leader said with a creepy smile. Creepy smile the only expression that is worse than the smirk. This means I'd definitely be doomed if I show him my book. Plus who wants to be stuck in a cave for the rest of their life.

"I pass. I'll take my chances with the snake man." I answer turning towards the door to leave since it seemed like the conversation was over.

"One more thing. If you are discovered in two weeks time with the ring but unable to escape Orochimaru then the one who finds will get the joy of having you on his team."

"Am I really that sought after as a partner?"

"Well Zetsu wants to eat you, Itachi wants you, Kisame wants Itachi to stay happy well as happy as Itachi gets, Deidara wants to piss of Itachi, Sasori doesn't care, Hidan wants to sacrifice you, and Kakuza wants to sell you to slave traders for money."

"I feel a lot less loved now."

"I would get going so that you can be on the team you want, otherwise time will run out."

"What are you talking about?"

"The two weeks started the moment you walked through my door."

"See you then." I say waving, why was I waving? I really don't know but it was worth it. The look on Itachi and the leader's face when I waved, the shocked expressions was so much more fun than smirking. I should smirk at them. Can girls even pull off a full-blown smirk?

* * *

So here I am wondering around aimlessly in sound country, why? Because I can't find Orochimaru's hide out, it's like it's a secret or something. I am now sitting under a tree wondering what will happen if they find me sitting under a tree weeks from now. Actually, logically I would be dead since there is no food or water under this tree.

"Who are you?" A voice asks, I don't know who it is nor can I see anyone so it's a voice.

"Akira." I answered.

"Family name?" Orochimaru asked as he stepped out of the trees, yes I know it's him. My book has pictures. Pretty pictures, but not of Orochimaru because there is no such thing as a pretty picture of him. Although there could be a picture where just his arm is showing but the camera is zoomed in to a giant piece of cake, then maybe.

"I was never informed." I answer honestly. I was five when my parents died and they called me Akira.

"Perfect." Orochimaru said smiling creepily and doing the creepy wringing of his hands, like he just thought of a brilliant evil scheme. Maybe he did, I don't know. I should give him more credit. Wait if he thought of the evil scheme while talking to me that probably means that I am a part of said evil scheme.

"For what?" I ask confused, I mean he should tell me why I am perfect. I just realized no one has ever called me perfect before, I should note that on my non-existent calendar since I am not at my house where it is. Stupid Itachi didn't bring me clothes, shampoo, or most importantly my calendar. I had important dates on there, like Sunday.

"As my new experiment." Of course he wants to experiment on me- he said I was perfect. Perfect people just don't exist; it's like an anomaly. In order to not be his new experiment I have to point out my flaws. Think flaws. I know I have them. I got a good one.

"I don't have any training being a ninja, nor can I control chakra." Yes brilliant flaw. What would a ninja want with a useless person? I mean gosh no chakra control that person is so useless and not perfect thus one should find someone better to experiment on.

"I thought you were a ninja."

"Why did you think that?" I mean who assumes that random girls without weapons with on them are ninja. No one smart anyway.

"Because you are in the woods." He stated like it is the most obvious answer in the world.

"People other than ninja go through woods."

"But most normal people stay on the trail, only ninja and animals leave the trail."

"Um, I saw a bunny?" I lie really badly.

"For some reason I don't believe you." He said right before Kimimaro appeared.

"Orochimaru-sama."

"What, Kimimaro?"

"Kabuto says he no longer needs a female ninja for his experiment, apparently he's found one." Kimimaro said. Yay, I'm saved! No more need to experiment on me, wait I never was a female ninja.

"What should I do with you?" Orochimaru pondered while looking at me and rubbing his chin in a thinking pose. I she really thinking or is he going to kill me but wants to raise some suspense by looking like he is thinking before announcing my death. Well if he is going to kill me what does he care about my mental state anyway?

"Orochimaru-sama, I have need of another slave, my last one worked herself to death." Kimimaro said causing me to wonder how one works themselves to death. Do you work until u pass out? No that's working to unconsciousness. Do you work until u pass out but somehow gain the ability to go berserker mode and continue cleaning even though you are clearly passed out? That must be it; no other logical explanations are possible. I once continued singing a repetitive song even though I was asleep. (I actually did this in real life, when I heard that I did it I was amazed myself)

"Do I get to play with your hair?" I ask staring at his long silky looking hair. I wonder if he will let me braid it? Braid his long interestingly colored hair. It looks fun.

"If you become my slave you will be required to."

"Sweet." I said not even computing about the slave part of the sentence. In my mind the sentence was: 'if you want to you will be required to', which doesn't make sense. If I want to is it still considered a requirement?

"Do what you wish with her Kimimaro."

"Thank you, Orochimaru-sama." Kimimaro said with a bow as Orochimaru left to go back to his hideout. "What's your name?" he asked looking back at me.

"Akira, nothing else."

"Come then." Kimimaro said. What he didn't remember is that I never agreed to be his slave. Therefore I never promised to do anything for him or be loyal. My ingenious plan is working perfectly. I have passage into Orochimaru's hideout and I get to play with long silky hair. I will pretend to have agreed to be his slave, but in reality I will look for the ring, so smart. What is my ingenious plan you ask? To go with the flow, and accept any openings offered to me, other than that no plan.

* * *

I just noticed that Itachi isn't in this chapter, how sad plus it's completely false advertisement on my part. He will be back never fear. He appears again in the next chapter and then he won't leave, he's a stalker like that.

Just a note to those who read my Bleach and Naruto story 'One Random Day' it was updated on Thursday.

Preview: How I got into the Akatsuki part 2

_... He'll let me brush it, run my fingers through it, and style it exactly how it always is but no braids. How inconsiderate of him not to think about my feelings and forbid me from braiding. What if it was a life or death situation that could only be solved by me braiding his hair? We would be doomed, doomed I say!... _


	3. How I got into the Akatsuki part 2

How I got into the Akatsuki part 2: Issues with Itachi

So begins another chapter. This chapter is brought to you by 8-12 page research papers, you do many things in order to avoid doing them this is what i did.

I will never own anything that you will care about unless you care about Akira and the plot.

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How I got into the Akatsuki part 2: Issues with Itachi chapter 3

"Akira, bring this scroll back to the library."

"Fine." I say annoyed at being a slave. I mean I've been a slave for nearly two weeks now. Not only is time running out till a Akatsuki member is going to find me but being a slave is not all it's cracked up to be. Not that it's really number one choice for most people on their dream job list, but I'm sure there is some masochist out there that would like it.

Ok so let me reiterate being a slave is not fun. There's work you have to do and stuff. The worst part is Kimimaro refuses to let me braid his hair. He'll let me brush it, run my fingers through it, and style it exactly how it always is - but no braids. How inconsiderate of him not to think about my feelings and forbid me from braiding his hair. What if it was a life or death situation that could only be solved by me braiding his hair? We would be doomed, doomed I say! What if the fate of the world rested in my braiding skills but I never got a chance to practice so I failed and the world blew up? Why is the world being blown up I don't know, how braiding would stop that? I don't know that either but it could happen.

Did you know that slaves are treated like well slaves? I don't even get to eat dinner at the same time as other people; I have to wait until others are done. I wanted food, dang it! I was so hungry the other night so my stomach growled and you know what Kimimaro did, him being the nicest person in the world, he laughed. He didn't give me food he just laughed. Then I glared at him and he laughed even harder. So I pouted causing him to pat me on my head. What am I a little kid or an animal? I was not pleased.

So now I am obediently doing whatever he says no matter how pointless because they take away food privileges if I don't. Since when was eating a privilege? Last I checked eating was a necessity not a privilege. Do ninja not have to eat?

I went to the library like a good slave and returned the scrolls and guess who was there. Orochimaru, amazing, you'd think that I would be used to seeing him and not as shocked since it is his lair hideout thing. So what does he do? He ignores me. I have found out that as long as I am Kimimaro's slave Orochimaru leaves me alone, other slaves leave me alone; Kabuto leaves me alone, basically everyone leaves me alone. I'm starting to get lonely.

"Take these scrolls to Kimimaro and then return I need someone to clean one of my rooms." Orochimaru said not ignoring me. Yay, contact with outside life, even if that life is Orochimaru. I never thought I would be happy to receive an order from snake man. My life has officially met an all time low.

"Yes, sir." I say giving him a mock upside down solute. Oh no I used the captain obvious solute for something else. "Sorry I meant this." I tell him re-doing the solute but this time doing it correctly.

"What are you doing?" he asked confused by my antics. You are probably wondering why isn't he shocked; well the answer is everyone is used to me now. The first time I did something weird in his presence he was really confused but now that he knows I do it to everyone he just lets it go.

"Obeying your orders?" I ask looking at him innocently. I got that look down, unfortunately he also knows me too well so he doesn't fall for it.

"Never mind." He says then continues to do what he was doing before. How rude he is not falling for my innocent look and then ignoring me. Just for that I am going to give this scroll to Kimimaro and then come back to clean, that'll show him, plus then he won't kill me.

* * *

"Kimimaro, Orochimaru wanted you to have this scroll."

"Orochimaru-sama."

"Yeah, yeah. I have to go clean something for him now so good luck with supper." I said waving as I left the room. I swear I could faintly hear him cursing me through the door. It helped that my ear was against the door and I was listening, but still. I'm supposed to be Kimimaro's slave but if Orochimaru tells me to do something I have to do it before doing things for Kimimaro, which means no dinner for him until I clean. For some odd reason Kimimaro won't let anyone else cook for him anymore, something about not trusting them. Why trust me, I mean I am only here to steal something, oh yeah he doesn't know that. Poor guy will be skinny after I leave. Maybe I'll make him some lunches before I go.

"Orochimaru-sama, Akira is here." Kabuto announced. You would think that a ninja wouldn't need someone's presence announced. I mean can't they sense me or something?

"I need you to clean my third room on the right in the west wing. Here's the key." Orochimaru said as he handed me an odd looking key, it looked like a snake, and then returned to working. Why must he always be so rude? What if I wanted to chat with him? I didn't but what if I did? Then he just gave me the key, what an idiot. What if I was here to steal his stuff, oh wait I am. I can steal stuff now. Yay, my ingenious plan is working.

"Of course sir, right away." I say in a fake innocent voice but he didn't hear me because he's ignoring me, sucker.

As luck would have it the ring I am after is in the room I am currently cleaning. There is only one problem it's on the finger of a corpses hand, a nasty dead hand that is rotting and stuff. Gross. So to be able to get the ring, which assures me that I will not be on a team with Itachi, then I have to touch a dead rotting corpses hand. The nastiness is overwhelming. So instead of taking it I decided to follow orders and clean the room, then I will take it.

* * *

So I am done cleaning now and I'm hungry I have to get the ring now, but it's too nasty. Maybe I can get it off with a paper towel? Do paper towels protect you from death germs? I think so. So then I carefully removed the ring using paper towels and succeeded in getting it. I immediately dropped it into the cleaning solution. I don't know what that stuff is but it got everything else clean and sanitized why not the ring. I then use a cleaning tool to fish the ring out, I think the cleaning solution is great but I don't trust it. I wipe it off with the mighty paper towels and then deem that it is safe to put in my pocket. Mission accomplished, now to work on my escape plan.

* * *

Now I am sitting on Kimimaro's bed in his room trying to formulate my plan of escape. Why am I sitting in his bed you ask, why not my own? His is more comfortable. I could sneak into a laundry basket…oh no! Kimimaro's back, quick I have to look like I was doing something productive, or I could assume he has already noticed me and sit. I'm lazy so I am going to just sit.

"What are you doing?

"Sitting."

"Why are you sitting on my bed?"

"It's more comfy?"

"Fine." He said you know it's not nearly as much fun now that people are used to me here. I used to have so much fun watching their reactions. Ah, good times, good times.

"Are you tired?" I ask mildly concerned since he just sat down next to me with a loud sigh.

"A bit." He said clearly more than a bit tired, men and their pride. "Avoid Orochimaru-sama from now on."

"Why?" Wasn't his order just now a bit random?

"Because he always gives you something to do. You need to be available to do things for me." Possessive much?

"You sound jealous." I joke with him.

"Well I want you to do your job."

"Uh huh, jealous." I insist in a singsong manner and pat him on the head. Hah, see how you like it.

"Maybe," he admitted to my immense shock, "Don't pat me on the head."

"I won't if you won't."

"Deal. Brush my hair so I can get some sleep." He ordered. Yay, hair fun time.

As I am brushing Kimimaro's hair we herd an odd noise from outside the room. I quickly put his hair back without being told, which caused him to smile slightly at me in thanks He then rushed out of the room. Me, I plan on sitting on his bed where it is safe.

"Akira." I heard a somehow familiar voice say from outside the door.

"Yes?" I ask opening the door to discover Itachi standing there. "Are my two weeks over already?"

"Yes." Time sure does fly.

"That means I lost." I noted as Itachi gave me a look that said no duh, it actually was really amusing, silly Itachi.

"The ring?"

"Here." I said pointing to my pocket.

"Let me see." He said smirking and starting to reach for my pocket, which caused me to quickly back away from him.

"I'll get it out myself, pervert." I say as I get out the ring then show him.

"It seems to be real, why does it smell like lemons?"

"Cleaning solution. I needed to get the death germs off of it."

"Death germs?"

"It was on a nasty dismembered hand, so yes death germs."

"Come." Itachi said grabbing my arm and pulling me out of the room, only to have the both of us run into Kimimaro.

"Hi Kimimaro." I said pleasantly to him, ignoring the fact that Itachi has my arm and I am escaping.

"Where are you taking her?" Kimimaro asked Itachi, don't I get any say in where I go? Judging from recent events I would have to answer with a no.

"She is going to join the Akatsuki." Itachi for some odd reason answered honestly.

"She can't." Kimimaro countered as he snatched my other arm, I can see where this is going. Stupid men.

"Why not?" Itachi asked angry his hold on my arm tightening.

"She's my slave." Kimimaro answered.

"Not anymore. She is my partner now, in the Akatsuki." Itachi said possessively.

"Um, guys?" I ask causing both of them to look at me.

"What?" they both asked irritably at the same time.

"Orochimaru is laughing at you." I pointed out nodding my head towards the corner, since they have my arms, where Orochimaru was indeed laughing at them.

"Orochimaru." Itachi greeted but not happily.

"Orochimaru-sama." Kimimaro said with a small awkward bow, remember he is holding my arm, towards Orochimaru.

" Why exactly are you after Kimimaro's favorite slave?" Orochimaru asked once his laughter had subsided.

"I'm his favorite?" I asked feeling loved. I like compliments. They make me feel better about life and myself in general. People should give me more compliments, which would be nice.

"Yes." Orochimaru answered as Kimimaro starts to blush a bit, but since he is so pale it is noticeable.

"Kimimaro is blushing." I teased him not realizing that in doing so I was ignoring Itachi and making him angry.

"She is coming with me." Itachi stated, all this is a fact like, and he tugged at my arm harshly causing Kimimaro's hold on my other arm to slip. Because of physics I then fell directly into Itachi's hold. He immediately did some hand signs and we were transported out of the hide out.

"You could have let me say bye." I said then thought or gotten some clothes, since if I remember correctly I have none at the Akatsuki base either. I decided not to share this since he had once again thrown me over his shoulder and began running.

"Hn." Was Itachi's brilliant and eloquent answer.

"You like carrying me like this a little too much." I mumble but I know he heard me since I could feel him smirking, although I don't have any proof that he was I'm sure that he did, and he tightened his grip on my waist, this I knew for a fact.

"Maybe." He admitted softly. If it weren't for my really good hearing I wouldn't have heard that.

"As long as we're in agreement." I said smiling even though I was being carried on Itachi's shoulder towards the Akatsuki base where I would be forced to join and wear a once death germ infested now lemony smelling ring. And that my friend is how I got into the Akatsuki, my version of the story anyway.

* * *

Ew, death germ infested ring. Will Itachi ever let me down? Will the ring ever not smell like lemons? Why lemons? Some of these questions will be answered in the next chapter others may never be explained.

FYI: One Random Day was updated yesterday so if you read that one too you should check it out, or if you don't read it but want to.

Preview: Why Deidara stole my Sammich: issues with Itachi chapter 4

"_Why can't I have someone like Zetsu as my partner?"_

_"He would eat you." Leader said ignoring Itachi. _

_"Yes that might be a problem." I say as if I am pondering if it would be worse then Itachi._

_"There is another problem." Leader said trying to make Itachi stop glaring at him._

_"What?" Itachi asked since you know he was the one facing the leader, if the leader was talking to me he would be talking to my bum._

_"We haven't cleaned Orochimaru's room." _

_"And?" I ask wondering what that has to do with me._

_"That means there are no available rooms, because Orochimaru did experiments in his room so I think you don't want to be in there until it is clean._

_"It better smell like lemons before I take one step in it."_


	4. Why Deidara stole my Sammich

Why Deidara stole my sammich: Issues with Itachi

Hi people! For my lovely fan, Lunar D. Hayase, who likes to review on every chapter, I have uploaded a picture as my avatar of what Akira could look like, if she had cool clothes and a cool sword. Let me just say that reviews make me happy; lets face it who doesn't like reviews?

I still own nothing, not even the picture that I made my avatar that was made by someone who is not me… if I had drawn it there would be a stick figure with hair, possibly clothed I usually forget that with stick figures

This chapter is brought to you by: hermits; sometimes I think I am one then my roommate comes home.

* * *

Why Deidara stole my Sammich: Issues with Itachi chapter 4

I must be psychic, I knew they were going to make me put on that once death infested ring. Sure enough as soon as Itachi brought me into the base he took me right to the leader. What did the leader do? Told me welcome and made me put on the ring. The lemony smelling ring, you know the one with remnants of death germs on it. So that brings us to now, where I am staring at the ring that for some reason fit me even though a man wore it. Either I have man hands or Orochimaru has feminine hands, I'll pretend Orochimaru is feminine hands to make myself feel better.

"Leader, what if the ring hadn't fit?" I ask him not looking up from the ring.

"You wouldn't be able to join."

"What kind of messed up system is that?"

"An evil organizations?" he ask told me. Yes ask told, the only way to sound unsure and sure at the same time, the paradox intonation.

"Oh, well I wouldn't know I've never been a part of an evil organization before. By the way, Itachi, why haven't you let me down yet?" I ask since I just realized that I was still over Itachi's shoulder. You would think I would notice something like that. Maybe I broke my brain? "Isn't it uncomfortable?" I ask oddly curious, I mean being on his shoulder is uncomfortable but to have a person on your shoulder that long, it's got to be painful.

"You are a bit heavy." He answered smirking I just know it.

"Are you calling me fat?" I ask glaring at the only body part that I can glare at in that position. Think about it…this caused me to blush and look back at the leader who was amused. He was amused! I amused the leader of an evil organization that has got to give me some brownie points towards something. I'm not sure who is giving me the points or why I want them but I earned them by being amusing so give.

"I have decided that you will be teamed up with Itachi and Kisame because you get along so well with Itachi." Leader announced sounding proud of himself as if he had just made a great contribution to man kind.

"Wasn't that decided when I got her?" Itachi asked facing the leader for the first time, since I was talking to him.

"Why can't I have someone like Zetsu as my partner?"

"He would eat you." Leader said ignoring Itachi.

"Yes that might be a problem." I say as if I am pondering if it would be worse then Itachi.

"There is another problem." Leader said trying to make Itachi stop glaring at him.

"What?" Itachi asked since you know he was the one facing the leader, if the leader was talking to me he would be talking to my bum.

"We haven't cleaned Orochimaru's room."

"And?" I ask wondering what that has to do with me.

"That means there are no available rooms, because Orochimaru did experiments in his room so I think you don't want to be in there until it is clean.

"It better smell like lemons before I take one step in it."

"The question is where will you sleep until then?" leader pointed out holding in his laughter from my lemons comment. I just know he was doing it don't ask how.

"She will stay in my room." Itachi stated, not offered stated.

"Isn't there a couch or floor somewhere that I can use?" I ask hopefully.

"There is ample floor space in my room." Itachi offered.

"I'm not getting out of this am I?"

"No." Itachi stated with finality.

"Anything else I should know?" I ask the leader wanting to get down or kick Itachi, neither seemed like they would happen near the leader for some odd reason.

"We sill do not have a cook, or a house keeper."

"So that means that it will be quite a while before I have my own room, dang it. Why do I care about there being a cook?"

"You have to cook your own food?" the leader question stated again.

"That's fine."

"Dismissed then." The leader said and I imagined that he waved like a little kid at us; I doubt that he was but it would be amusing. All I know for sure is that Itachi carried me out the door and through some hallways to a room with only one bed in it. I guess it was his room. It is now ours, how wrong is that? No privacy for Akira.

"So are you ever going to let me down, this may not be that uncomfortable for you but my tummy hurts." I said causing Itachi to toss me onto the bed. The bed is bouncy in case you were wondering. I wonder what Itachi would do if I started jumping on it. I better not try I think the ceiling is too low for me to jump on the bed. Is my mind and common sense working again? Oh wait no false alarm if they were working I wouldn't be sitting on Itachi's bed with him staring at me and not moving. No if I had common sense I would be somewhere else, almost anywhere else. Maybe if I start a staring contest with him he will stop staring at me. Staring time. No blinking. Man I'm hungry. "I'm hungry." I announce out loud not breaking eye contact with Itachi. Itachi blinked does this mean I win? Yay I win.

"I want soup." Itachi stated while looking at me.

"Good for you?" thanks for sharing that bit of information Itachi and I care why?

"I want you to make it."

"Oh, well I suppose if it's just you-

"And Kisame." Itachi cut me off. Rude.

"And Kisame I could. Plus soup will go well with my Sammich I am going to make for myself." Mmm, Sammich. Capitalized for flavor.

"I am going to shower then the soup should be ready." Itachi said as he entered the bathroom not even waiting for me to answer him.

"Well isn't he demanding," I comment to myself, "I suppose I need to find the kitchen on my own then."

I am being oddly compliant aren't I? Well you see I'm hungry. So I want my Sammich and honestly soup goes oddly well with a Sammich. It wasn't because Itachi who is creepy and can kill me if I don't obey him asked me. It's not because as a self-defense mechanism I try to make people stronger than me happy usually with food. Nope that's not the reason at all. Besides what difference does it make if it's one serving of soup or four. Why four? Because it is a nice even number. I'll make him soup but he better stay away from my Sammich it's mine.

* * *

So here I am in the kitchen several minutes after I left Itachi's room, I got lost ok. I did however get to see Sasori's lovely puppet collection; I knocked on his door to get directions to the kitchen. Let's just say that I am not going to bother him ever again, hopefully, I sometimes forget these insignificant things like who not to bother to keep myself alive. I see bread, necessary for Sammich, turkey, lettuce, oh look bacon, cucumber- you know for guys they have an oddly well-stocked fridge-, and some ranch. Sammich making time. First I have to cook the bacon. As I am cooking the bacon Deidara comes in and watches me for a bit.

"What are you making, yeah (or un?)."

"A Sammich."

"Oh." He said then sat down at the table in there staring at all the ingredients I had out. He then proceeded to watch me as I put the Sammich together adding the bacon last.

"I'm thirsty." I decided to announce to Deidara even though it was none of his business. This is where I made my mistake I turned my back on Deidara and my Sammich in order to look in the fridge. When I turn back around the first thing I notice is that Deidara is eating an oddly good-looking sandwich. I then notice that my Sammich is missing. "Give it back."

"This is good, yeah." Deidara said taking the third bite out of my Sammich. My Sammich!

"I said give it back."

"No." He said then he stuck his tongue out at me. Doesn't he know the golden rule? Don't annoy the hungry people. So like a rational person with working common sense I jumped over the table and snatched my Sammich back from Deidara. I think I might have startled him.

My victory was short lived however since he is a ninja he easily got the Sammich away from me. Then the chase for the Sammich was on. So the chase for the Sammich was not as fun or interesting as I thought it would be. I was looking forward to it for so long too, such a let down, that whole second that I looked forward to it ruined.

So Deidara and I bolted out of the kitchen and he immediately ran into Hidan who stopped him and I didn't notice so we all fell down. Deidara the holder of the Sammich let it go and it touched the floor. Ew nasty floor germs. To make matters worse for the race, which had already technically ended a whole five seconds after starting, Itachi came into the room. I guess it was a living room since there were couches and Hidan. So Itachi came into the living room and looked at me, still on the floor on top of Deidara and Hidan, and raised his eyebrow. Now why am I still on top of Deidara and Hidan, one word shirt. Ok so just saying shirt really doesn't explain much, so three words lack of shirt. Wait that is still not specific enough Itachi's lack of shirt, there we go that explains it.

Why doesn't he have a shirt? I put on a shirt after showering and I don't walk around the house without one. The last time I did that I got a random visit by a towel and bathrobe merchant. Then I forgot my lack of shirt and the guy passed out at the sight of me without my shirt, it could have been because of his injuries. I suppose being a towel and bathrobe merchant is dangerous work, unless he was secretly a ninja, which I think he was. He didn't use trails either.

"Are you going to get up anytime, yeah?"

"Fine." I say glad that Deidara had jolted me back from my musings of why Itachi has no shirt and about the merchant.

"What were you doing?" Itachi asked after he moved from the doorway to help me get up.

"I was making a Sammich until Deidara came and stole it from me." I said then pouted. Maybe Itachi will pity me if I pout. Maybe he will beat up Deidara for steeling my Sammich then I can shout Mortal Combat and tell Itachi to defend my honor before bestowing upon him a token of my appreciation. Wait, where did that come from? Have I been reading too many medieval novels? I get the Mortal Combat, I kind of understand the defend my honor (or Sammich) thing but the bestowing a token of appreciation? What am I going to give him? Never mind I should just forget I ever thought it and move on with my life.

"Deidara,"

"Yes, Itachi?" Deidara asked his voice laced with hate. Hate? Did I miss something?

"Don't ever steel her sandwich again." Itachi said dragging me towards the kitchen. I guess some time while I was thinking about bestowing things Itachi had taken the chance to grab my arm, for dragging purposes apparently.

"But, it looked so good."

"That is no excuse."

"But no one here can cook, where am I supposed to get food?" Deidara asked pleading with his eyes to me to call Itachi off and make him something to eat.

"Then next time make your own Sammich." I tell Deidara right before I am dragged into the kitchen.

"Where's the soup?" Itachi asked after looking around the kitchen not noticing his precious soup.

"Um, in the fridge?" I ask as I start to back away from Itachi, which didn't work for some reason. Oh yeah the whole he has my arm problem.

"Make my soup." Itachi demanded glaring down at me.

"Yes master." I said mockingly while doing a fake bow.

"Good." Itachi grinned. Oh no, Itachi grinned. Here I was thinking that smirking and creepy smiling was the worst expressions ever then I had to experience an Itachi grin. The dreaded shirtless Itachi grin of Dooom (capitalized for effect and loaded with an extra 'o' for obliteration). I guess he missed the sarcasm laced in my words. I can see inner Itachi grinning and rubbing his hands together in contemplation over some evil plan that involves me. I am so doomed.

* * *

Poor Akira is doomed. I wonder when and if her common sense will come back, probably never.

FYI: Another Random Day, which is a Bleach and Naruto story, is now Uploaded. It's really funny and much better than the first one, it also has more Itachi in it- although he is a stalker in the story.

Preview from Issues with Itachi Chapter 5: The First Night

"_Hn." He answered smirking. Evil people and using words that are not words but noises. Don't they know that the first person to say Hn doesn't automatically win, unless those are the rules of the game? Is that my problem, maybe I didn't get the memo and we are playing the first person to say Hn wins game._

_"I'm going to find a couch." I inform Itachi before I leave the room. He blinks at me then follows behind silently. He is so a stalker. It didn't take me that long to find a couch since the living room place was right outside the Kitchen. I then analyze the couch and it's position in the room and I think about the probability of people coming in here late at night. Apparently my brain works but my common sense is still fried._

_"Why are you staring at the couch?"_

_"Well you stare at me all the time and you don't see me asking about that." I say to him since I desire my death apparently. Note to self don't talk back to Itachi._


	5. The First Night

Issues with Itachi chapter 5

I have to warn you the next chapter may or may not be on time. This is because I will soon be going back home where my needy friends, and boyfriend, will take up my time. I will try to write but I make no promises.

On a happier note for the fans of this story after I come back on the 21st I will have a few days with nothing to do so I can write. Who knows maybe I will have a bout of insomnia and write anyway?

I own things? Really! Oh wait I don't, dang it.

This chapter brought to you by finals; they ended so I am happy. Amazing how the same thing that hindered it brought this chapter to you.

* * *

The First Night: Issues with Itachi chapter 5

I cooked the spoiled brat Itachi some soup and made myself another Sammich, and one for Itachi and Kisame so I would be guaranteed to have mine, when Kisame and Hidan came in to stare at us while we ate. I, being the nice person I am, hovered over my Sammich in an attempt to keep it safe and glared at them when they walked in. there was not going to be another Deidara Sammich fiasco, not if I can help it. They decided it would be best to look at me like I was crazy, personally I think they have no room to talk. Sure look at me like I'm crazy but ignore the lack of shirt on Itachi, he's the weird one.

"Itachi, can I have some- Hidan started to ask while eyeing Itachi's sandwich.

"No." Was Itachi's answer. Sure ask Itachi not me the person who made it.

"But-

"I said no." Itachi said glaring Hidan down.

"Do you want anymore soup?" I asked Itachi feeling a little sorry for Hidan, why I don't know. I had already decided to forgive him for the Sammich incident since it was basically all Deidara's fault. I mean it's not Hidan's fault that he was walking there and is apparently see-through since Deidara didn't see him. The fact that I ran into him also is completely besides the point, I was worried about my Sammich not where I was going.

"No." Itachi answered finishing his soup while staring at me. Yes again with the eating and staring. But this time he took it up a level, now he is staring while eating soup. I mean I spill soup when I am looking and the bowl and it is inches from my face, how can he not spill it all over himself? Maybe it's a ninja thing.

"Hidan you can have some soup. Kisame there is a sandwich and soup in the fridge with your name on it." I said causing Hidan to grin at me, creepy, and Kisame to grin also, creepy.

"Hn." Itachi replies now glaring at me.

"What, you said you were done." I pout, yes I just pouted at Itachi. Big mistake number four hundred.

"Hn." He answered smirking. Evil people and using words that are not words but noises. Don't they know that the first person to say Hn doesn't automatically win, unless those are the rules of the game? Is that my problem, maybe I didn't get the memo and we are playing the first person to say Hn wins game.

"I'm going to find a couch." I inform Itachi, completely randomly, before I leave the room. He blinks at me then follows behind silently. He is so a stalker. It didn't take me that long to find a couch since the living room place was right outside the Kitchen. I then analyze the couch and it's position in the room and I think about the probability of people coming in here late at night. Apparently my brain works but my common sense is still fried.

"Why are you staring at the couch?"

"Well you stare at me all the time and you don't see me asking about that." I say to him since I desire my death apparently. Note to self don't talk back to Itachi.

"Firstly don't talk back to me, and secondly you are not a couch." He said extremely angry.

"I'm not?" I said and Itachi glared at me it was scary so I decided to answer him because I fear for my life. "I was debating if this is a good couch to sleep on."

"You will be sleeping in my room." Itachi stated.

"But there is only one bed, and I am not sleeping in the bathtub." I say plopping down on the couch and crossing my arms.

"Why would you sleep in the bathtub?" Itachi asked taking the seat in front of me, for better staring I suspect.

"So you are letting me have the bed and you are sleeping in the bathtub?"

"No one is sleeping in the bathtub, if I was going to sleep somewhere that wasn't the bed it would be the floor."

"So you are sleeping on the floor?"

"No." Itachi smirks, oh no.

"I am sleeping on the floor?"

"No." his smirk gets bigger.

"Then I am sleeping here?" I ask patting the couch that I am occupying.

"Still wrong."

"In the bed?" I ask hesitantly, I now fear for more than my life.

"Yes."

"With you?"

"Yes." He looks so smug right now.

"And a wall of pillows between us?"

"No." he's smirk grinning I think, I don't even know. It spells impending doom is all I know.

"A space between us?"

"Not if I can help it."

"Oh, well then I just will stay awake, who needs sleep."

"If you do not fall asleep on your own I will be forced to knock you out." he said evilly.

"Fine, I'll sleep." I say then he smirks and picks me up off the couch, for once not like a sack of potatoes, and walks towards his room. "I didn't mean now."

"You need a shower don't you?"

"Yes." I admit but refuse to give in and let him win, although he probably already has, "I also need a change of clothes." Hah take that Mr. Smug.

"Do you?"

"Pervert." I mumble to him.

"Konan has left some clothes for you in our room."

"Your room."

"Ours." He practically hisses at me and holds me tighter. Stalker.

"Not forever." I point out.

"Long enough." He says sounding oddly sad.

"I'm taking my shower in Konan's shower then."

"Why?"

"You'll break the door if I lock it, if I use someone else's shower then you won't."

"What makes you think I won't?"

"They would be angry at you if you did?" I ask stated, my turn to use the paradox intonation. I win. Score one for Akira, about a billion for Itachi.

* * *

After my shower in Konan's shower I made my way back to Itachi's room, already wearing pajama pants and top curtsey of Konan, but was stopped by Kakuza.

"You have not paid your fee."

"My fee?" I ask innocently, hah I got that down.

"Your joining fee." He answered me, not being taken in by my innocence at all. Silly evil people and their immunity to the ultimate innocence look. Don't they know innocent people don't need to pay fees for joining evil organizations?

"But I didn't want to join." I say pointing out a very good point in my opinion.

"You still have to pay the fee."

"I don't even know what the fee is."

"Stop picking on her, Kakuza, there is no fee and you know that." Hidan, oddly enough, came to my rescue. Wow, saved by Hidan, odd. Was it because I gave him soup? If people will save me merely because of me giving them soup I should carry around some soup everywhere I go. I think I will start doing that.

"Weren't you the one who wanted to sacrifice her to your god?"

"I want to sacrifice everyone to Jashin (or however you spell his god dude's name), but now I think she is more helpful as a cook." It was so the soup.

"If that is all I'll be leaving then." I say as they begin to argue over what's more important money or religion. No really they totally forgot I was there. I don't know if I should be glad or insulted. I choose glad because it is more fun.

* * *

So I entered Itachi's room and he was already sleeping. Since I was in a cave I had no clue what time it was and Itachi was running and carrying me and stuff so I guess he was tired. Since he is sleeping I can escape and sleep on the couch.

First before leaving to sleep on the lovely couch I had to get a pillow. For some odd reason there were no pillows on the couch. I suspect it has something to do with an out of control pillow fight that they all had before I came, it's the only logical answer. So in Itachi's arms is my pillow, pillow hog. I decide that maybe I can get it out of his arms, he's not holding onto it that tightly. In fact his hold is suspiciously loose. Also I just noticed something he is still minus a shirt, does he only own one? Is that his secret pillow fight game plan, confuse everyone with lack of shirt then hit them in the head while they stare? Actually the plan doses not sound half bad; maybe I should walk behind Itachi and throw pillows at people while he wears no shirt. Ok back to taking the pillow.

I reach over Itachi, since I am too lazy to walk around the bed, and reach for the pillow. Ok no breathing. A little more then I can grab it. I got it! Oh crap, he was faking it. Is all I can think as Itachi grabs my arm (the one that was making a grab for the pillow) and pulls it making me fall onto the bed.

"Where were you going?" Itachi practically growls at me. Apparently he is unaffected by the fact that I am now laying on top of him since I fell across him. Or is he affected? Do I want him to be? Does anyone else think that sounds wrong, the whole affected comment?

"To the couch?" I ask state, go insecurity. Maybe if I pretend that I am confused he will let me live.

"Didn't I say that you would be sleeping here?"

"You did." I decide to answer like a good girl. No point in pissing off an angry Itachi, you should only piss of an annoyed or emotionless Itachi. Even I have enough common sense to know that.

"Then why are you going to the couch?" Itachi asks his face right in front of mine, I am still sprawled on top of him mind you.

"It is fluffy?" I say blinking at him.

"So is the bed."

"I think the bed is more springy then fluffy." I say while looking all philosophical like, or maybe while looking like I was thinking, or perhaps only managing to look like an idiot. I don't know what I looked like I'm not in front of a mirror.

"So if the bed was fluffier then you wouldn't want to sleep on the couch?" Itachi says as I just stare at him. He just said the word fluffy. Must not laugh. Having an argument with Itachi. Oh great now he's looking at me because I am not answering. Must resist urge to laugh. Self-restraint is now shattered. I am now laughing hysterically while laying on top of Itachi on his bed. Did I miss something? "What are you laughing at?"

"You said fluffier." I manage to get out before bursting into insane giggles, or laughter not sure which to classify what I was doing into. Now I am laughing so hard that tears are starting to escape. You know when you are really laughing and you fall off of things, or fall forward. Well I laughed myself directly onto Itachi's still shirtless chest. I realized it a few seconds after cheek impact with chest. Once I realized where I was I looked up to find Itachi smiling at me. It then turned into a smirk, almost as if he was trying to hide the fact that I amused him.

"Good night." Itachi said and used ninja powers to make the lights go out. Apparently it was time for the both of us to go to sleep. So that is how I spent my first night in the Akatsuki, left hand captured by Itachi's right hand while I use his shirtless chest as a pillow, could be worse.

* * *

I was going to end this somewhere else, but it is more fun ending there. Plus this way the last impression you get of Akira is of her sleeping on top of a shirtless Itachi, Fan service!

Can you imagine Itachi saying the word fluffy?

Preview from next chapter: Operation Spy on Kids

_"I don't wanna." I mumbled trying to bury my head deeper into my pillow. Man my pillow needs to not be so hard, stupid Akatsuki pillows with their not fluffy. Why is my pillow not fluffy? Why is it chuckling? Since when can pillows chuckle, or show any emotion at all? Why is it moving? Maybe I should open my eyes. So I open my eyes and then remember that I am sleeping on top of Itachi. Guess what my pillow actually is? Itachi's shirtless chest. Oh no I look up at him and he's smirking at me. I blink at him. He blinks at me. I smile and then decide to go back to sleep._

_"Wake up." Itachi growls out at me, apparently he is not a morning person either. Is he bi-polar or something he was just chuckling a moment ago._

_"Why?" I ask wondering why Itachi is so against me sleeping._

_"I have a meeting with the leader."_

_"And that affects me how?"_


	6. Operation Spy on Kids

I decided to update since I had a chance to finish this. Be happy people, yay!

I do own several pairs of shoes none of them Naruto related.

This chapter brought to you by head colds; I am well enough to type but not well enough to leave the house. Tissues are my friends.

* * *

Operation Spy on kids: Issues with Itachi chapter 6

"Wake up." My pillow said to me early on my first morning in the Akatsuki. Stupid pillow trying to wake me up.

"I don't wanna." I mumbled trying to bury my head deeper into my pillow. Man my pillow needs to not be so hard, stupid Akatsuki pillows with their not fluffy. Why is my pillow not fluffy? Why is it chuckling? Since when can pillows chuckle, or show any emotion at all? Why is it moving? Maybe I should open my eyes. So I open my eyes and then remember that I am sleeping on top of Itachi. Guess what my pillow actually is? Itachi's shirtless chest. Oh no I look up at him and he's smirking at me. I blink at him. He blinks at me. I smile and then decide to go back to sleep.

"Wake up." Itachi growls out at me, apparently he is not a morning person either. Is he bi-polar or something he was just chuckling a moment ago.

"Why?" I ask wondering why Itachi is so against me sleeping.

"I have a meeting with the leader."

"And that affects me how?"

"You are sleeping on my chest." Itachi points out. Oh yeah, I forgot that my pillow was actually a part of Itachi. Man I am even stupider in the morning then usual.

"Fine." I say removing myself from him and grabbing the actual pillow with it's wonderful softness and I immediately go back to sleep.

* * *

"Wake up." Itachi said when he re-entered the room after his meeting.

"Why do you insist on waking me up?" I ask him not opening my eyes or moving off the bed.

"You have a meeting with the leader about our new mission."

"Why do we have separate meetings? Why can't you just tell me later?"

"Because the leader is assigning us different missions but to the same place, also he might want to keep certain parts of your mission secret from other members." Wow, Itachi talked for a really long time.

"Why in the morning?"

"Because we have to hurry to where our mission is."

"Oh." I say then get up out of bed then pick out clothes to bring to Konan's room so that I can take a shower in peace, just because I have a meeting doesn't mean that I am going to go without a shower. No one wants to have a meeting with stinky people, I am just protecting the noses of others.

* * *

After my shower I head to the room where I had met the leader before. well actually what happened was I went to where I thought the room was and once again found Sasori's room. Apparently to me all hallways lead to Sasori's room. Then I asked him where I could find the leader because I had a mission and he showed me to the door. He also said nothing to me the entire way, kind of creepy. But the story I am using is that I went to the room where the leader is then I knocked.

"Come in."

"Ah, Akira."

"Yes, Pein?"

"How do you know my name?" The leader asked suspiciously.

"Um, lucky guess." I answered him trying to sound as innocent as I could. Stupid me saying something I shouldn't know but know because of my magical book of knowledge.

"I don't believe you. But hopefully you can use your informational gathering skills for the good of the Akatsuki. Your teams mission is to infiltrate the Chunin Exams which are going to be held in Konoha in four days."

"Kind of short notice. Isn't Konoha far away from here?"

"Itachi and Kisame are Ninjas so they can make it in three days."

"But I am not." I point out.

"They can carry you or something, Itachi seems to enjoy doing it."

"Too much." I grumble.

"Your special mission is to gather information about all the people participating in the exam."

"Special mission?" I ask raising one eyebrow, it worked yay! I wasn't sure if I could raise just one eyebrow.

"Individual mission."

"Oh, then why didn't you just call it that?"

"Because I think you are special?"

"What is my not special mission?" I ask pouting.

"Infiltrate the Chunin exams."

"And?"

"Oh, and find out what Sound is doing."

"Sound is going to be there?"

"Yes."

"Wouldn't it make more sense to send another team there? I mean Itachi is known there by sight, and I am being hunted by Orochimaru, probably, since I stole his ring."

"Which means that you will definitely see him then you can find out what he is up too." So tempting to tell him about the book so I can skip the mission and be lazy. I can find out Orochimaru's plan right now and any information on those who are entering the Chunin Exams that I want, but no it has to be a secret. I can't let them know about the book of knowledge.

"Any other better reasons?"

"I want you to use your information gathering skills."

"Fine."

"You had no choice but to agree with me anyway. I also want you to focus on any of the tailed demon carriers that might be in the exams."

"So I should pay _special_ attention to any of the demon vessels as a part of my _special_ mission."

"Yes."

"Fine." I sigh annoyed at having no freedom and the fact that he didn't get the joke. How can he not get my brilliant joke, it's not like he is evil or something oh wait he is I get it now he probably won't get most of my jokes.

"I also want you to keep an eye out for any people who might be close to the demon vessels so that we will be able to use the information to help us capture them. It is also useful to know about those around them to know what kind of barriers we will face in capturing them."

"So our mission is to spy on kids?"

"No you are going to spy on people that may be dangerous to our organization."

"Who just happen to be younger than us and thus kids."

"Well kids and Orochimaru."

"So we have to spy on kids and a creepy pedophile like man."

"Fine. Your mission is to spy on kids."

"I have a question."

"What?" he asked annoyed with my attitude towards him. He deserved it, he's the one that made me join not my fault I am here.

"How are Itachi and Kisame going to infiltrate the Chunin exams?"

"They are going incognito."

"No really, I thought they were going to wear their cloaks." I comment sarcastically.

"The three of you are going to pose as sound ninja."

"Well that will get Orochimaru's attention."

"That is the point."

"How are they going to disguise their identity?"

"They will be wearing masks."

"Do ninja usually wear masks?"

"Many do." Maybe that bathrobe towel merchant was a ninja, I thought it was kind of odd that he wore a mask. I knew he was a ninja.

"I guess I should get going then." I say giving the leader a mock salute like I used to do to Orochimaru. Hey if it worked for one evil ninja why not work for others. How it worked you ask? Well I am not dead yet, I see that as working.

"Yes you should." The leader said completely ignoring my salute, he must deal with crazy people all the time.

* * *

When I entered Itachi's room, I refuse to call it our room, I noticed he had already packed all my stuff. Wait that means he touched my underwear, pervert. "Why did you pack for me?"

"I didn't know how long you were going to be."

"When are we leaving?"

"When Kisame is done with his meeting with the leader."

"How come he got to have the later meeting? I could have slept for longer."

"The leader probably had a reason."

"Maybe, maybe not. So let me see this mask that you are going to wear." I ask wanting to make fun of him somehow for the mask. I don't know how yet but when I see the mask I will know.

"No." Itachi said spoiling my fun.

"Why not?" I ask wondering if he noticed that I had evil intentions for seeing the mask.

"I already packed it." Oh good Itachi didn't notice I thought that I was suddenly an open book.

"And?"

"It would mess up the packing."

"OK. So how am I getting to Konoha?" I ask wondering if the leaders comment about me being carried was a joke or not.

"I will carry you."

"Won't you get tired?"

"Would you rather Kisame carry you?" Itachi asked sounding a bit angry at the idea.

"No, but I would rather not be carried."

"Well you have no choice in the matter."

"Do I have a choice in any matter?"

"No."

"Well let's get operation spy on kids over with."

"Operation?"

"Mission is overused."

"Spy on kids?"

"Do you really have to ask."

"Let's just go."

* * *

I was going to have two endings to this story, one spoiler and one not, but I decided that the not is crap so I am just going to use the spoiler ending.

Preview from next chapter:

_You know what I am hungry, and I stole Itachi's wallet, so I am going to go eat. The question now is where. Oh look the boy we are supposed to be spying on, Naruto, maybe I can kill two birds with one stone and spy on him while I eat. Then I can call it a mission expense and ask the leader for compensation._

_"Hello." I say to the ramem seller dude. "I want some Ramen."_

_"What type of ramen?"_

_"There's types?"_

_"You don't know that there are types of ramen!?" Naruto asks yelling at me while pointing his finger rudely. How rude of him._


	7. The First Exam

This is an extra long chapter to make up for sadly short chapter last week.

I own a Naruto game for the Nintendo DS but it doesn't even have Itachi in it so I don't think that counts.

This chapter brought to you by Tropical Storm Fay; it liked me so much that it decided to sit over Melbourne, Florida where I live. It also received the memo that I wasn't in Tampa (Where I go to school) so it avoided going there even though everyone thought it would go there.

* * *

The First Exam: Issues With Itachi Chapter 7

Stupid Itachi and Kisame leaving alone once we got to Konoha. Who knows what dastardly deeds they are committing without me. Well they do but that's besides the point. Don't they realize that if I am left alone too long that I will get in trouble? Happens all the time, like clockwork. If I die I blame them.

The fun thing is that I got to see Itachi and Kisame's masks. They are like hunter-nin masks, but the difference is that they aren't. Plus they are black instead of white. Then the two of them are wearing black. Maybe they want to become a shadow. I however get to also wear all black but I do not require a mask, it's kind of hot in the sun though. Maybe I should go stand in the shade?

You know what I am hungry, and I stole Itachi's wallet, so I am going to go eat. The question now is where. Oh look the boy we are supposed to be spying on, Naruto, maybe I can kill two birds with one stone and spy on him while I eat. Then I can call it a mission expense and ask the leader for compensation.

"Hello." I say to the ramen seller dude. "I want some Ramen." capitalized for flavor.

"What type of ramen?"

"There are types?"

"You don't know that there are types of ramen!?" Naruto asks yelling at me while pointing his finger rudely. How rude of him.

"I lived a very sad life I know."

"How do you not know about ramen?"

"I never had ramen from a stand before I always made it myself."

"Well Ichiraku's ramen is the best ramen ever."

"Really well then I will try it," Yeah because that wasn't my plan in the first place. I wasn't here at the ramen stand to eat ramen or anything. Nope not my plan not at all.

"You're going to love it."

"I hope so."

* * *

"Wow, that ramen was good." I announce after I finish my Ramen.

"I told you." Naruto said between bites, he is still eating. Poor Itachi's wallet.

"Hey I have an idea let's give each other nicknames."

"Why?"

"Because it's more fun, and it will solidify our friendship."

"Okay."

"I'll call you Kit."

"I'll call you, nice lady."

"At least I am nice and a lady."

"Why do you call me Kit?"

"Someday I'll explain but right now I can't, I'd get in trouble."

"Oh, I wouldn't want you to get in trouble."

"Yeah, man it's kind of late now. I wonder where my teammates are?" I wonder out loud.

"Were they supposed to meet you here?"

"Well not exactly."

"What do you mean?"

"I lost them several hours ago, and I think they said something about me staying put, I wasn't listening to them."

"And that is why we couldn't find you." said Itachi's voice from directly behind me. I wonder if he noticed his lack of wallet.

"Are these guys your teammates?"

"Yup."

"Aw man, I was having fun talking to you." More like at me. Hokage this, ramen that, Sasuke is a bastard. The Sasuke part amused me so I listened to it.

"Come Akira." Itachi ordered.

"Fine, fine. Maybe I'll see you around tomorrow."

"That would be great, believe it!"

* * *

I really wonder what those S-class criminals keep thinking leaving me alone all the time. I mean I went to sleep last night, same room and bed as Itachi as usual, possessive bastard, and when I woke up they both were gone. What really annoyed me is that the inn place had plenty of rooms but Itachi wanted to share and then he requested that there be only one bed. So to get back at him I used him as a pillow. Take that Itachi.

I guess he was so upset about me sleeping on him that he had to leave. They did leave me a note saying to come to a certain place for dinner and to prepare myself for the exam, just to make sure that I don't do what I did yesterday and not show up until like 11 at night. Plus how can I prepare myself for the exam when I know nothing about it? Oh look Naruto, and a box that's trying to be a rock following him.

"I want a box rock like yours Kit." I comment shouting out at Naruto from across the street. How cool is that a box rock that follows you around, I mean you would always have a convenient footrest.

"Konohamaru." Naruto yelled at the box.

"Who's she, and why does she call you Kit?" the pink haired girl next to him asked.

"Yeah who are these girls boss?" Konohamaru asked. (I shall now call him little kid because his name is too long)

"Why is she wearing a sound forehead protector?" Sakura asked. Why didn't Naruto notice the sound forehead protector? Maybe he did and just didn't care.

"Because I am a sound ninja?" I ask stated, yay return of the paradox intonation.

"You are?" Naruto asked. Apparently he is that oblivious.

"Maybe." I answered trying to sound all cool and mysterious like. "I am Akira."

"I call her nice lady." Naruto offered wanting to show off his close friendship with me. Why? Maybe to make Sakura jealous or to make himself feel better, those are my guesses anyway.

"So boss which one of them is your girlfriend?" the little kid asked.

"What!" Sakura overreacted then they got into an argument that I didn't listen to and they started to run so I followed them. I mean I have nothing better to do. They ran into some and ninja and he grabbed the little kid whose name is too long.

"I hate kids." Kankuro said.

"Really, I thought that you loved them to pieces." I guess being with evil ninja for too long took away my fear and made me bold.

"Who are you?" Kankuro asked seemingly offended by my presence, I wonder why? Maybe the fact that I talked back and mocked him. Nah!

"Kankuro, Gaara will be mad." Temari said randomly.

"This girl here does not even have chakra."

"Picking on me just because I do not have chakra," I started then mumbled sneakily so that they could still understand me, "That you can sense."

"Are you threatening me?"

"What part of that sentence was a threat?" I asked Sakura since she seems smart.

"The mumbled part." Temari answered for Sakura.

"Thanks, next time I'll just think it and not say it out loud." Maybe I am getting to practice for the exams. What not to say.

"You should already know not to say that out loud." Sakura yelled at me. She's a little loud.

"Maybe." I answered honestly, but she doesn't know that I have lived alone in a cabin for most of my life. Having to walk far to get to town, only being visited by bathrobe towel merchants and ninja, or just ninja I still think that he was a ninja.

"Stop ignoring me." Naruto shouted wanting attention. Then he tried to free the little kid but failed. Then Sasuke showed up and threw a rock. Why throw a rock? Oh wait no it was more like a pebble, even worse. I mean isn't that what Kunai's are for? At least the little kid got free.

"He's cool boss."

"He reminds me of someone." I ponder. Staring that the guy in the tree that looked oddly similar to some possessive guy that I know.

Then some red head shows up and calls Kankuro a failure or something I was too distracted staring at him. I want to stand upside down on a tree. That is so cool. Then the red head jumps down and looks at me.

"Who are you?" He asks, why he wants to know is a mystery to us all.

"Akira." I answer staring back. I will not lose a random staring contest.

"Akira who?" Kankuro asks.

"No known family name." I answer looking away suddenly not interested in a staring contest. Then Sasuke jumps down.

"Who are you?" He asks the red head.

"Subaku no Gaara. I am interested in knowing who you are also."

"Uchiha Sasuke."

"That's why you look familiar." I announce stupidly.

"What are you talking about?" Sasuke asks me.

"Nothing." Itachi's going to have a fit if I tell him I blurted that out to his brother. Now both Gaara and Sasuke were staring at me. "Is there something on my face?" I ask Naruto. I would have asked Sakura but she was glaring at me and it was scary so I decided not to.

"Don't you want to know who I am?" Naruto asked as the sand ninja decided to start walking away. Then some yelling happened and some name exchanges I wasn't paying attention because I felt like I was being watched.

"Why are you sand ninja here?"

"The Chunin exams." Gaara answered.

"Hey that's why I am here." I announce causing the guys to look at me once more. "What is it that shocking?" I asked them and they just ignored me. I guess I look really weak, or do have something on my face. So I decided to look around and I didn't even notice when they all left. I never claimed to be an observant person. Then I noticed the other sound ninja in a tree and I waved to them and walked away. Take that other sound ninja.

* * *

"So the Chunin exams are in this building on the third floor or the second?" I ask Itachi noticing that we had gone past a large group of younger people crowding around a mis-marked room.

"Yes. The mis-marked door is a part of the test." Itachi answered.

"I see."

"How did you notice it was false?" Kisame asked me curiously.

"We only went up one flight of stairs, who wouldn't notice that?" I asked both of them wondering what idiot would go up one flight of stairs and think oh I guess I really went up two.

"Some ninja apparently." Kisame said disappointedly.

"Stupid ninja." I said right as we walked into a large room with a bunch of ninja. "Maybe I shouldn't have said that right then." I whispered to Kisame because he was more fun to talk to than Itachi.

"Bad timing." Kisame commented as I scanned the room. I noticed the three sound ninja and waved to them again. I don't know why I keep waving to them. I didn't even like them when I lived at Orochimaru's place. But I guess it's just second nature to wave to people I know. Oh look it's Kabuto.

"You!" I exclaim as I point to Kabuto, shocked that he is there posing as a leaf ninja.

"You!" He said back before he could stop himself. Me doing it is one thing him doing it is silly "Why are you here?"

"One can ask you the same question." I said smartly, take that one Kabuto.

"My sensei will be thrilled to see that you are here, Akira, who are you're companions?" Kabuto said obviously meaning Orochimaru and also hinting that Orochimaru will probably attack me. All for the stupid faintly lemon smelling ring.

"They are my teammates, It and Kiss." I said secretly snickering inside at the code names that the leader chose for them. That is until I remembered why they had to get those names. According to the leader it was so that if I started to say their real name they could stop me and still keep being incognito. Like I would mess up something this important, oh wait I might. Never mind, good job leader.

"It and Kiss, pleasure to meet you." Kabuto said while pushing up his glasses then nodding to them. "I'll be sure to stay out of their way."

"Good." Itachi stated probably looking at Kabuto but with the mask on I don't really know.

"I'm going to go say hi to some people." I announce as I skip over to where the other sound ninja are. It and Kiss follow me and we all ignore the crowd of kids that gather. How did we ignore Naruto shouting stuff, I don't know? I also ignored the staring of the red head, Gaara from before. Well I ignored it but I think Itachi glared back from behind his mask at him.

"Akira." Zaku said as I came near.

"Hi, Dosu, Kin, and Zaku." I said greeting them happily.

"Why are you all dressed as sound ninja?" Dosu asked eying Itachi's mask that has a gray music note on it.

"It's part of a mission." I told them honestly.

"Last I checked you didn't go out on missions, Akira." Kin noticed.

"I heard that you were kidnapped by the Akatsuki." Zaku offered. This entire conversation, by the way, was done in a very low whisper.

"Maybe that was part of my mission." I answered causing It and Kiss to turn towards me in shock because they didn't realize my sneakiness honestly I didn't either. Who knew that I could lie that good. Oh yeah, the whole keeping the book secret thing probably helped me make up lies.

"We have to do part of our mission also." Dosu said right before he fake sound punched Kabuto. Then this dude in a forehead protector hat, I want a forehead protector hat, came and told us he was the proctor and that it was a written exam. I'm saved! Oh wait, I don't know ninja stuff. I'm screwed.

* * *

So we got assigned seats guess where luck me ended up, right in front of the staring red head. Well at least it's good for him, easier for him to stare and all. Itachi is in front of me. It makes me want to throw a paper airplane at his head. I won't but I really want to. Kisame is on the other side of the room somewhere near Naruto.

They just told us the rules of the test, but I wasn't listening. I was zoning. Since everyone has turned over their tests I guess that means I should start. Let's begin question one: If a ninja is traveling a speed of 20km/hr across ten acres of land is intercepted by a enemy ninja who is going 30km/hr but is 12 acres away which ninja reaches the point first? OK. The answer to this one is...the one who is alive after they fight.

Question two: there are 12 scrolls located in one room. One scroll is the real one. There are no genjutsu's in place. Which scroll is the real one? Why doesn't the ninja just take all the scrolls? Why are there no guards? The answer I will put down is five, yeah it must be five.

On to question three: the temperature outside is 45 degrees Celsius and there are four ninja fighting. If one ninja is taller than the others, and another ninja has a coat, what ninja will survive? What kind of question is that? The one that wins the fight again. Oh look at all this workspace; I know I will draw a picture. For some reason I drew a picture of a stick figure, in a hat. It's a top hat. Oh he needs a cane. I shall call you Sir Sticky. I know I'll write that above his head with an arrow pointing to him.

Question four: a tree in the forest casts a 12-foot shadow. A kunai with a string attached is thrown from the top of the tree and to the ground. The string is 25 feet long. How tall is the tree? Oh, how nice they even drew the picture for us. The answer is...umm...oh look a bug.

"What are you doing there?" I whisper to the bug on my paper, "You're not supposed to be here." the bug looks at me in response. "I know I shall call you Steve and you shall be my friend. Hey why are you looking at my paper and shaking your head? Oh so you think my answers are wrong?" the bug seemed to nod it's head in an answer. "Fine then what do you think is the answer?" the bug just stared at me and then started to walk away. "No don't leave me Steve, I'll be forced to go back to the test."

So the answer to number four is now 10.9 feet. Oh look the proctor is going to say something now. So there is a tenth question and if you fail you never become a ninja. Well since I am not a ninja nor will I ever be one then I will try the question. But before that I feel like I'm being watched. I look around and I should have known, who else would it be but Gaara, once again staring at me. Well since the test is basically over I suppose that I can turn around. Staring contest time. So I look him directly in the eyes and try not to blink. It's a bit awkward because I have to look up since his table is higher than mine. Stupid high tables.

Oh great now I feel like I am being watched from behind also. So I make the universal symbol for time out, making a "T" shape with both hands, which caused him to blink at me, and I turn around to investigate. Oh yeah, Itachi. He dose not look happy. I'm just going to turn around and pretend I didn't see him. Back to the contest. When I meet Gaara's eyes once more I notice that he is no longer staring at me but smirking at Itachi. I guess they are playing now. I would so have won. Speaking of winning the proctor dude just said that we all passed. Man I really should pay attention more often.

* * *

Wow the length of this chapter shocks me. It just went on and on.

When I was re-reading it was like, why did they leave Akira alone so much? Then I was like because you wrote it like that. And then I was like but why? Then I remembered why I did it: it followed the plot in my head so I had to.

Preview from next chapter: Do Snakes like Sammiches?

_"Where are you going?" Itachi asked me as I tried to sneak away while I was on the way to the next exam._

_"I left my Sammiches in the fridge."_

_"I'll get them." Kisame offered thinking about eat one on the way since they are that good, I know that's what he's thinking._

_"Hurry." Itachi said causing me to be happy because of my Sammiches. _

_"Yay!" I say then hug Itachi since he allowed me food. "Sammiches!"_


	8. Do Snakes like Sammiches?

Hello lovely people who review, and pretty people who read this. (if you are a guy then handsome and good looking) Flattery is a wonderful thing isn't it?

Disclaimer: I own a laptop now which I use to write this and read Manga...but that does not mean that I own Naruto, unfortunately

This chapter was hindered by the first week of school. Yes I said hindered not brought to you by. I almost didn't finish this chapter in time, but luckily for you readers I don't sleep much.

* * *

Do Snakes like Sammiches?

Right after the proctor dude said we passed everyone stupidly argued with him. In my opinion they should just take the win; you don't ask questions about why you won. Then some lady in a trench coat, trench coats are cool but I would have worn more clothes under it if it were me, threw a bomb at us. Well it wasn't really a bomb but a smoke bomb and then there was a large sign behind her and she told us where to go. Area 44 or something like that, I'll just follow Itachi. But on the way I am going to pick up the Sammiches that I left in the fridge. I have a feeling that I will need them.

"Where are you going?" Itachi asked me as I tried to sneak away while I was on the way to the next exam.

"I left my Sammiches in the fridge." I answer honesty.

"I'll get them." Kisame offered thinking about eating one on the way since they are that good, I know that's what he's thinking.

"Hurry." Itachi said causing me to be happy because of my Sammiches.

"Yay!" I say then hug Itachi since he allowed me food. "Sammiches!" I exclaim with delight.

"You are easily pleased." Itachi said to me as he hugged me back with a smirk, behind the mask of course, I just know he is smirking.

"One could say the same about you Mr. Smirking because of a hug." I say to annoy him. I also noticed that the redhead Gaara is glaring at Itachi so I decided to wave at him while still being hugged by Itachi. This caused him to blink at me and then glare harder at Itachi, I didn't even know there were levels of glaring. I guess you do learn something new everyday.

"You can stop with the hugging now." I inform Itachi noticing that many people are staring at us.

"Why?" Itachi asked not letting me go even though I was trying to escape from his arms. It was probably comical watching me try to escape but fail, I think Gaara's brother dude, the one with make-up, was openly laughing at me. What did I do to him? Oh yeah I forgot I bothered him before.

"Because we need to go to the site for the next exam." Ha, argue with that logic.

"Fine, let's go." Itachi said but instead of letting me go he decided to pick me up and carry me there. What is with his fascination with carrying me places? Why does Itachi always win? I want to win.

"Nice lady why is your teammate carrying you? Were you hurt?" Naruto asked as he saw Itachi and me enter the area where everyone was waiting.

"No Kit, he just likes to carry people." I answer while still being held by him.

"Hn." Itachi says probably glaring at them. Not very effective through the mask is it?

"You'll have to excuse him, his vocabulary is limited when he dose not like you." I say still being carried. You know I should just get used to it and get carried by people everywhere. The laziness would be overwhelming. I think the only things that would stop me would be: finding people who are willing to carry me 24/7 and the fact I would get fat and thus they would no longer be able to carry me at all.

"Why doesn't he like us nice lady?" Naruto asked me.

"An easier question would be who does he like." I answered thinking about how the amount must be very small.

"Dobe are you done talking to that crazy lady?" Sasuke asked trying to get Naruto away from Itachi and myself. Is he angry at me? I don't even remember being that crazy in front of him. How did he find out? Now my plan to seem sane is foiled. Failure! Oh well, they were going to figure it out eventually. I'm just surprised that he was the first to notice it.

"She's not crazy." Naruto yelled. Silly Naruto you are just in denial about my insanity. Poor boy, I should give him a Sammich. Where is Kisame.

"It, what's taking Kiss?" Wow, I just realized if our code names were listed with Itachi and Kisame listed first then me it would say: It Kiss Akira. Makes it sound like some inanimate object decided it needed to kiss me. For some reason that amused me, I'm not quite sure why.

"He will be here shortly." Itachi answered me gruffly-I think he was trying to disguise his voice, I wonder why? Oh yeah, the whole incognito thing would be blown if his brother recognized him. Man I feel stupid now.

"Good." I answer. I just realized that Itachi actually said more than me, wow.

"Here's your sandwiches." Kisame whispered to me during Anko's you might die speech.

"Sammich." I whisper back, no longer in Itachi's arms since he let me go when Kabuto kept staring at us knowingly, with this odd look on his face. I am not saying anything else because Anko is glaring at me. She should glare at Kisame since he was the one who started it and was the one who took too long to give me my Sammiches. Oh look Anko threw something and some dude gave it back, with his tongue. Wait tongue...that's nasty, does he even know where it's been. Tongue...long Tongue...Orochimaru!

Apparently Itachi and Kisame figured it out st the same time I did because Kisame decided to stand next to me and Itachi put his arm around me. Not just around my shoulders but he was standing behind me with his right arm going from my right shoulder to my left, very possessively. He is basically hugging me from behind. Orochimaru notices this response and smirks at us. Gaara is full out 'I will kill you' glaring at Itachi, it is really scary. I know that he is not glaring at me but I am fearing for my life right now since he is looking in my general direction.

* * *

The idiots, Itachi and Kisame, have decided to leave me alone once again. But their stupidity is amazingly high since they left me along in the stinking Forest of Death, not the Forest of Happy Thoughts or Pink Elephants, no of Death. Death! Then they expect me not to die? This is what they said when they left 'We are heading out to get scrolls stay here and don't die'. I see me dieing.

What am I supposed to do if I meet Orochimaru? What if I meet the red head? What if I meet basically anyone? I will be like, 'yeah I don't have a scroll but could you not kill me. Yeah I know that you and I are enemies but could you spare me, I'll give you a Sammich.' actually that might work. Now I have my plan of action if I am discovered without Itachi and Kisame.

Since I am not good at listening I am going to wonder around the Forest of Death. Brilliant plan on my part. Oh look a group of people behind a bush, maybe I should hide too.

"Who are you?" A boy with a dog asked me when I joined them in the bush.

"Akira." I whispered, "I don't have any scrolls by the way."

"Where are your teammates?"

"Getting scrolls, why are we hiding in this bush?" I ask just now noticing the red head and his siblings in front of some rain ninja.

"We are going to wait until after the fight between them to see if we can get any of their scrolls."

"I see." I said then we watched the rain ninja get killed by Gaara with his sand. "That was kind of cool."

"Cool?" Kiba asked looking at me like I was an idiot.

"I want an umbrella." I comment.

"That's what you were talking about?" Kiba asked shocked that I completely ignored the fact that Gaara just mercilessly killed three people. Then Gaara started to say that he wants more blood or something and aimed his sand at our bush. "does he know we're here?"

"I hope not." Hinata remarked, stuttering, shocking me with the fact that she talked.

"Well I am going to distract him you run while he's distracted." I suggest to them.

"What? He's going to kill you." Kiba remarked.

"I don't think he will." I remark. Then I exited the bush and looked directly at the red head. "Hi!"

"What are you doing here?" Kankuro asked as Gaara's hand slowly went down because he wasn't going to kill me. Why not is a mystery.

"I was in the neighborhood and noticed you here also I want an umbrella." I say picking up one of the umbrellas from the ground but pur it down after realizing it was broken.

"In the neighborhood?" Temari asked.

"You know the Forest of Death and all."

"Where are your teammates?" Gaara asked startling well basically everyone.

"I keep getting that a lot."

"They seemed attached to you before, at least one of them." Temari offered a bit tentatively since she was entering into a conversation with Gaara.

"Oh yeah, 'It' is a possessive guy." I remark casually.

"It?" Gaara asked.

"That's the name of my teammate that is always touching me and stuff." I answered looking around for a place to sit. My legs were getting tired.

"Why?" Gaara asked curiously.

"Well, I guess he likes me or something." I answer now wondering why Itachi is so attached to me.

"He's not your boyfriend?" Temari asked confused since she thought that Itachi and I were going out.

"Nope. Unless we are and he just didn't tell me or ask me for that matter. He might have decided that I was on his own, I don't have much freedom in the first place." I say then realize that I should be waiting where I was before. "Well I got to go. I was actually not supposed to move but I did, so I should probably go back there."

"We need to go to the tower." Kankuro reminded Temari and Gaara.

"I'll see you there then."

"See you later, don't die." Temari said happily as she left.

"Why is everyone thinking that I am going to die?" I ask to no one since I was now alone in the clearing. "He left me his umbrella how nice." I remark as I notice that the umbrella that Gaara used was by my feet and still works.

* * *

Guess what, I'm lost. I can't find the clearing that I was supposed to wait in. So basically since I am once again being brilliant I decide to wonder around once again. I so passed that tree before, oh wait no it's another tree. I still see trees. Oh my gosh there's a tree! If I was smart I would have marked my route so I wouldn't go in circles. I could leave a trail of bread crumbs but that would be a waste of Sammich bread. There's something in the bushes over there I should go take a look.

It's a giant snake! Run away! Crap giant snakes can slither fast, I almost said run but I caught myself since snakes can't run. The snake is looking at me, it's going to eat me. I know I should use my ultimate plan.

"Would you like a Sammich?" I say to the snake offering it a Sammich. The snake looked at me then blew up. No joke, from the inside out. A whole bunch of Narutos came bursting out of the snake's stomach. Luckily for me I had Gaara's umbrella open at the time so I was safe from snake guts. I am going to have to remember to thank Gaara for that.

"Nice lady?" Naruto asked when he noticed me under the umbrella.

"Hi, Kit." I greet him happily since I would no longer be wondering around alone in the Forest of Death. Who wouldn't be happy about that. CoughGaaracough.

"What are you doing here alone?" Naruto asked me as I stood downwind of him. Hey snake guts smell bad.

"I can ask you the same thing." I retort sick of people assuming that I was attached to Itachi.

"I got separated from my team."

"My team left me in the forest."

"Why?"

"They wanted to get scrolls without me slowing them down." I tell him absentmindedly twirling my umbrella.

"Where did you get the umbrella?"

"Gaara." I answer simply causing him to be shocked for a moment. "Don't you have somewhere you need to be going?"

"I got to save Sakura!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Which way do you need to go, I'll catch up eventually since I have nowhere better to go." And being with Naruto would be me fulfilling my mission.

"This way." Naruto said pointing and then he jumped into the trees and ran, really fast. So I started walking.

* * *

You know what's fun...Akira never did find out if snakes like Sammiches.

Also I noticed that before submitting this chapter the word count for this story was 16,666...kind of evil isn't it? An extra 6 for ultimate evil? I thought it was interesting.

Preview for next chapter: Reading a Book (sounds thrilling doesn't it?)

_"Tell him I said hi, but technically I was kidnapped by It before I was Kimimaro's slave so I guess he has ownership rights or something." _

_"Ah, how is 'It'?" Orochimaru asked._

_"Fine I guess." I answer wondering if he knew that It was Itachi._

_"Give me back my ring."_

_"Your ring was death germ infested, my ring is lemony smelling." I say denying his claim to my ring._

_"You just took my ring and put it in some lemon smelling stuff." _

_"Well I'm sorry but I need it." _


	9. Reading a book

Wow this story has a thousand hits…WOW! It also has the happiness of reviews but sadly none for the last chapter. Poor chapter 8 is unloved. (So is chapter 6 but it apparently wasn't as important)

Disclaimer: I own a possessed car (it messed with my head by having the radio turn on randomly when it's supposedly broken) but not Naruto. Unless Naruto possessed my car, then I would own his soul. (I think Itachi might have possessed my car since it doesn't like it when I am not paying attention to it and it will attack any guy in it)

This chapter brought to you by blue exercise balls and spontaneous combustion. My sister had one that she used as a computer chair and it randomly exploded when she sat on it.

* * *

Reading a Book

I walked calmly in the direction that Naruto went. I felt the killing intent of Orochimaru long before I entered the clearing. Upon entering the clearing I noticed that Sasuke was passed out on the ground or something, he's unimportant, and Orochimaru was doing something to Naruto's seal.

"Akira!" Sakura exclaimed hoping that I could help her or something. I don't know where she got that idea from it sure wasn't from me.

"Ah yes Akira, how have you been?" Orochimaru asked me conversationally.

"Fine, you?" I ask causing Sakura to stare at us in shock because of our casual conversation.

"I would be better if I had my ring and slave back." Needy.

"Well in my defense I was Kimimaro's slave." I answer him causing Sakura to give me a weird look. "Long story Sakura." I say as I dismiss her with a wave of my hand.

"He misses you, he's gotten really sick. That's why I need a new body." Orochimaru told me.

"Tell him I said hi, but technically I was kidnapped by 'It' before I was Kimimaro's slave so I guess he has ownership rights or something."

"Ah, how is 'It'?" Orochimaru asked.

"Fine I guess." I answer wondering if he knew that It was Itachi.

"Give me back my ring." He demanded.

"Your ring was death germ infested, my ring is lemony smelling." I say denying his claim to my ring.

"You just took my ring and put it in some lemon smelling stuff."

"Well I'm sorry but I need it, plus it's not here. I'm not stupid." I say and Orochimaru gives me a look that I think meant 'you're not stupid could have fooled me'. How he can have so much meaning behind one look, I don't know. I guess he's just talented like that.

"You should come back, Kimimaro is suffering without you, he would be happy to see you again." Orochimaru said trying to trick me back to servitude in sound.

"Well I can't, sorry."

"Keep an eye on Sasuke for me." Orochimaru said before leaving Sakura and I in the clearing with the two passed out boys.

"Well that was odd." I remarked to myself.

"How do you know him?" Sakura asked me.

"Who said I knew him?"

"Would you have had that conversation with a stranger?"

"Probably not, you're right."

"What ring was he talking about?"

"The one I stole from him." I answer.

"Why did you steal a ring from such a powerful ninja?"

"I had a good reason, but I am not going to share. I think we should probably tend to the boys." I say changing the subject away from me and my dealings with Orochimaru.

"Is Sasuke going to be okay?" Sakura asked me hoping that I knew something she didn't, which I do.

"He might be." I answer her honestly.

"Might?"

"Some people don't take to the seal and are killed. He seems strong so I think he will survive though." I tell her trying to make her feel better; hey I'm not heartless.

"What can we do to help him?"

"Nothing really. Actually I am more worried about Naruto." I say.

"Why?"

"I don't know exactly what Orochimaru did to him, unlike Sasuke."

"How do you know so much?"

"You did hear the whole slave thing, right? That means that I was living in the same place as Orochimaru for a while. I heard things and met people."

"Oh, how does a sound ninja end up as a slave to a rain ninja?" Sakura asked not knowing Orochimaru's true identity.

"It will make sense in time." I answer her calmly and mysteriously. I am fond of being mysterious.

"That means that you just don't want to tell me."

"You figured me out. I think it would be best if we stopped talking, since I have a feeling I won't answer any of your questions and that will just make you angry." I suggest as I feel Naruto's forehead to make sure that he doesn't have a fever or something. I did it because that's about the extent of my medical abilities; I can tell when people have fevers because of their warm foreheads. I am so talented.

* * *

Time passed and stuff happened, well actually time passed and we stared at two passed out boys. Sounds immensely interesting, not. I was bored. I nearly left to go find Itachi. Itachi! Man I must have been really bored to think of looking for him. Then finally the three actual sound ninja came to interrupt my boredom.

"Hi, guys!" I greet them.

"Hi, Akira." Zaku said to me turning on his pathetic attempt at a playboy smirk. He failed.

"What are you doing here?" Dosu asked.

"One could ask you the same thing."

"We are here to fight Sasuke." Kin answered for Dosu.

"Well he's out at the moment care to come back later?" I say gesturing to the two boys passed out behind me.

"Then we will just kill him now." Dosu suggested.

"I won't let you." Sakura says stepping protectively in front of the boys.

"Good luck Sakura." I say sitting down next to Naruto and taking out a Sammich to eat. Hey I was hungry.

"Aren't you going to help?" Sakura asked me.

"How?" I ask her.

"Aren't you a ninja, help me fight them." Sakura argued with me.

"Aren't you a ninja?" I ask her using her words against her. She should know better than to annoy people while they're trying to eat. Plus she is sadly mistaken about the me being a ninja thing and the me being able to help her thing.

"I didn't know you knew how to fight, Akira." Kin said recalling all the times in sound that she met me. "In fact I don't remember you being a ninja."

"Maybe I was and am just sneakier than other ninja so I hid it better. Who said that I could fight, it certainly wasn't me." I reply calmly between bites of my Sammich. Mmm Sammich.

"You can't fight?" Sakura asked shocked.

"Have you seen me fight?" I ask her.

"No."

"Then why do you think I can?" I ask curious if she could answer me or not.

"Why are you on a team then? What is your purpose on that team if not to fight?"

"I am the information gatherer. It and Kiss have a monopoly on the fighting and torturing people thing so I don't have too." I think that this is the most logical, spur of the moment, made up lie I have ever made. I am impressed with myself. Go me.

"Oh." Sakura said believing my lie, I would too if I was her. In fact it looked like the sound ninja believed me also. Heck I almost believe me.

* * *

More stuff happened there was some fighting that I didn't pay attention to because I didn't want to look at the horribly dressed ninja in green. So basically I took a nap during his fight. Then I heard Kin being mean to Sakura so I decided to wake up. I have no clue what happened when I was out so don't ask me. As I was watching some blond, a large boy, and a half-asleep boy came to Sakura's rescue. The large boy had potato chips I want potato chips. Potato chips go great with Sammiches. Mmm Sammich. I think I'll eat another one.

"Sandwich!" The large boy says to me causing me to look up. What I saw scared me. He looked possessed and was looking right at my Sammich bag. Oh no, he's going to steal my precious Sammiches. So I do the only logical thing I could think of, I run away. I ran as fast as I could and since his friends were in danger the large boy had to stay and fight and not eat my Sammiches. See I was abandoning my friends but I wouldn't have been able to do anything in a fight anyway so I have an excuse. That means that I have a free get out of guilt card.

* * *

"Where were you?" Itachi asked as he grabbed me by the waist as I ran blindly past him. Note to self don't run blindly. I'm surprised that I didn't run into a tree. What if some other ninja, for example one who wants to kill me, had been there and not Itachi. I would be dead right now. What a stupid death it would have been, nothing like the cool death of spontaneous combustion. On the cool death scale I would give it a 2 out of 10. Spontaneous combustion gets an 8 or 9 depending where you combusted and what you were doing. While I am thinking these things Itachi grabs me and once again carries me.

"I was with Naruto and his team." I say omitting the fact that I chatted with Gaara for a bit, Itachi might get jealous. I suppose I should tell them about meeting Orochimaru. I notice that we are heading toward the tower, I guess that they found the scroll we need then had to look for me.

"The entire time?" Itachi asked not believing me. Does he think that I would lie to him? Oh wait I sort of omitted the truth so I guess he has reason to not trust my word this time.

"Well before that I watched three people die and I offered a giant snake a Sammich then it exploded from the inside and then Naruto appeared. So after that I was with them until a very large boy started to come after my Sammiches so I had to run away."

"Where did you get the umbrella?" Itachi asked me looking at it suspiciously.

"The three people that died were rain ninja and it belonged to one of them." I informed him still hiding the truth.

"I feel like you're hiding something from me." Itachi said, man he's perceptive.

"Oh yeah, I also met with Orochimaru and he tried to get me to give his ring back and go to sound with him." I informed Itachi, just now realizing that maybe I should tell him about the information that I got that actually pertains to the mission that we are on.

"How did you get away?" Itachi asked me curiously.

"Orochimaru left. Oh yeah and he put a curse seal on your brother and messed with the seal on Naruto."

"Why didn't you start the conversation with this information?"

"I was just answering your questions." I pout. Oh no I pouted at Itachi again. Cue smirking.

"Any other information?"

"Umbrellas are useful." I inform Itachi as we get to the tower and I notice that Kisame is already there waiting for us.

* * *

"Let me get this strait. We were forbidden from looking at the scrolls and then we had to open them."

"Yes." Itachi explained to me for about the third time as we sat in our room in the tower. Yes they gave us rooms to stay in the tower while we wait for time to be up. Unfortunately for me since Itachi is Itachi he decided that my room was his room and that his room is…well his room is empty I guess. Maybe I should try sleeping there. Then he would follow me. Then I would have walked somewhere for no reason at all. Way too much work.

"What if we didn't open it?"

"We would have stood there."

"Why have us open it at the end? If it was an important ninja protected secret document thing then wouldn't the ninja refuse to read it even after getting to their destination? Unless it was for the ninja in the first place. If it was for the ninja then why did they have to take it somewhere they could have read it when they received it then burned it or something?"

"Akira, shut up." Itachi growled at me after I was done ranting. He growled at me. Meanie. I decided, for my own safety, to not annoy Itachi anymore. This unfortunately made me extremely bored. I think Itachi could sense my boredom and knew that I would bother him, so he left. Maybe he went to go help Kisame fish? Since Kisame left the tower to go fishing since he was hungry and I was out of Sammiches. I wonder if he tried to find a kitchen first to see if there is food?

Still bored. What to do? Wait, vaguely remembering some random factoid that someone mentioned sometime…converting that information into something interesting to do…got it! Since the tower was made so that those outside of the tower could not sense chakra all the rooms here have chakra seals so that your chakra can't be sensed. Which means that I can read my book. Which means that I can accomplish my mission in minutes (more like hours) and then goof off the rest of the time. Excellent plan, excellent.

I snap my fingers in my right hand then open up my palm causing my book to appear and the room to suddenly be immersed in the power of my chakra. I blink as I get used to the feeling of having chakra once again. What should I ask it first? I guess I should go with questions that actually pertain to the mission that I am supposedly on.

'What is Orochimaru's plan?' I think, asking the book without speaking. The book glows faint silver then the pages start to flip open. As the pages are flipping I know that my eyes are glowing silver and it looks like I am reading something. In other words my eyes are silver and they are darting back and forth across the pages reading some unseen information. In reality I am actually experiencing the answer to my question in a kind of third person observation type experience. So that's his plan. Get Sasuke to be his body and kill the Hokage. I should probably inform Itachi about that. Speaking of Itachi this has been bothering me since I met his brother…

'Why did Itachi kill his clan?' I think, as the book continues flipping through pages almost frantically, never running out of pages. I am shocked at the answer and sit there with the book open a few minutes until…

* * *

Cliffhanger! A warning to the non-manga readers out there…there will be spoilers from this point on…it's too hard to omit them. But what is a spoiler and what is me messing with stuff is up to you're interpretation.

I have a random question that has been stumping me for a while…how can a laptop in a bag for several days get dusty? A sealed bag with a zipper. I don't get it.

Preview from next chapter: Getting Caught (A filler chapter because I can)

"_Would you be lonely if I left the Akatsuki?" I asked curiously._

_"Yes." He answered suddenly glaring at me, which causes me to move away from him to the other end of the bed._

_"What?" I ask, "It's not like I am plotting something." this is true I usually don't plot, things usually just happen. I just go with it. _

_"You will leave me at the first chance." Itachi scolded, no other wording seemed to fit as well, as he moved closer to where I was sitting. "Then I would be alone again."_

_"Are you trying to guilt trip me?" I ask Itachi trying, but failing, to ignore the fact that he is now a bit too close for comfort. Then he starts to stroke my cheek._


	10. Getting Caught

Getting Caught (A filler chapter filled with Itachi)

Ok I have a warning for this chapter…Itachi is out of character. He is needy and touchy-feely. Hallmark moments- albeit with a bit of possessiveness and molestation that Hallmark doesn't include in their cards (but they should). On the plus side this chapter is filled with Itachi goodness. Beware the needy-Itachi!

I don't own anything and apparently, according to some loans, am no longer attending school, even though I didn't answer their original phone call because I was in class. I also do not own a fax machine, which I will need to fax over the proof of my being in school.

This chapter brought to you by reviews. I love reviews and reviewers because I like being told about awesomeness (this seems to be the word of choice in my reviews, I'm fine with that). It also helps me keep writing (I get bored and distracted easily when writing) so keep up the good work reviewers.

Getting Caught (A filler chapter filled with Itachi)

'Why did Itachi kill his clan?' I think, as the book continues flipping through pages almost frantically, never running out of pages. I am shocked at the answer that I am given and sit there with the book open a few minutes until the object of my thoughts comes walking through the door and stares at me in shock.

"You have chakra?" Itachi asks as he finally snaps out of the shock that he was in momentarily.

"Sometimes." I answer honestly, almost automatically because I am still thinking about the information that I just learned. Itachi isn't bad? How can that be true?

"What does the book do?" Itachi asks me as he approaches the book but before he can touch it I close it with only my right hand, apparently with chakra comes skill because I didn't fail at closing the book with one hand, and as it closed it disappeared. I guess it goes back to wherever it came from.

"It tells you the answers to your questions." I inform him, trusting him with this information since I now knew he isn't bad. I would die before telling some evil ninja information about my book. I'd also probably deny the existence of the book altogether.

"How?" he asked curious about the book.

"I ask it and then I see the answer as the book flips through its pages. The book is made out of my chakra and connected to me. If anything happens to the book it happens to me." I begin telling him so that he doesn't have to ask and I don't have to stop talking since talking doesn't confuse me, "It's my bloodline limit, thing."

"I thought that you weren't a ninja?"

"Technically I am not. My family actually was never used as normal ninja, since in the battlefield it is too dangerous to have our books out and without books we have no chakra."

"What did you mean by anything that happens to the book happens to you?"

"Exactly what it sounds like. If I burn it I will burn to."

"Does the leader know about this?"

"No, and I hope he never does."

"Then why are you informing me about it?"

"Because I trust you with this information."

"Since when?"

"Since I asked it about why you killed your clan."

"Don't tell anyone." Itachi said suddenly grabbing me in a threatening manner.

"I won't if you won't."

"Deal."

"You knowing about it will make it easier for me to use it and gather information." I remark out loud more to myself than Itachi.

"Like?"

"Well I already know what Orochimaru's plan is."

"You should ask it about the sand ninjas, they seem suspicious to me."

"They are part of Orochimaru's plan." I inform Itachi.

"How so?"

"He killed the Kazekage and posed as him in order to give sand an order saying that they have to attack Konoha. Gaara is here because he is the one-tailed beast and they are going to use him to crush Konoha."

"Did you ask it anything else?"

"Nope, you interrupted me."

"Can others read the book?"

"No."

"Does it drain your chakra?"

"I said before that it was made of my chakra, let me be a bit more specific, it is my chakra. I can't access any when it's gone because it is gone."

"So you really are the information gatherer of the Akatsuki now."

"Apparently. Now if you excuse me I am a bit tired from using a bunch of chakra all at once. I wasn't expecting Orochimaru's plan to be that long and drawn out." I said to Itachi as I lay down on the bed next to where he is sitting on it. As I fall asleep I feel Itachi lay down next to me and pulled me close to him.

"Itachi why are you so devoted to him?" I ask Itachi the next morning after we eat breakfast, which I cooked. Mmm waffles.

"He was innocent." Itachi answers sitting down next to me on the bed since we are sitting in my room. I claim it it's mine.

"I suppose. Aren't you lonely with everyone thinking that you are evil? Isn't it hard being the bad guy when you actually are not? Isn't it hard being the one blamed for everything?" I ask Itachi.

"Yes." Itachi answered honestly.

"How do you feel now that someone knows your secret?" I ask him.

"Better." He answers clearly uncomfortable with the topic of this conversation.

"Would you be lonely if I left the Akatsuki?" I asked curiously.

"Yes." He answered suddenly glaring at me, which causes me to move away from him to the other end of the bed. His glares are scary.

"What?" I ask, "It's not like I am plotting something." this is true I usually don't plot, things usually just happen. I just go with it.

"You will leave me at the first chance." Itachi scolded, no other wording seemed to fit as well, as he moved closer to where I was sitting. "Then I would be alone again."

"Are you trying to guilt trip me?" I ask Itachi trying, but failing, to ignore the fact that he is now a bit too close for comfort. Then he starts to stroke my cheek.

"Did it work?" Itachi asked now blocking any attempt I would be able to make to run away from him.

"No." I answer simply causing Itachi's hand to stop stroking my cheek. Good Itachi no molestation.

"Promise me that I won't be alone." Itachi pleaded to me.

"I-

"Promise." Itachi insisted pushing me down on the bed and hovering over me. A/n if Linda was in this story she would be shouting rape right now

"You were fine alone before." I pointed out, struggling to get out of his hold as he held down both my wrists in one hand.

"That was before. Now I know how nice it is to have someone 'in on my secret' as you put it." Itachi said not letting go of me but not really doing anything to me either.

"I promise that I will stay by your side until you die." I finally concede as my chakra flares even though I didn't have my book out, but it was gone in a second.

"What was that?"

"Promises made to me, about me, or by me are binding promises punishable with my chakra." I explained no longer fighting to get free because it was too much work.

"Perfect." Itachi said before he leaned down and kissed me. He kissed me! I'm shocked here, you probably aren't but I am. Great now he's staring at me, smirking.

"Must you smirk?" I ask him once I was out of the initial stage of my version of shock. You see my shock consists of several stages. Stage one is actual shock where I just sit there and stare at something while thinking frantically about whatever shocked me. Stage two is finding a pointless fact and vocalizing it. Stage three is thinking about my stages of shock, which to observers –like the stalker Itachi- looks like I am going into a second shock. Then there is a denial stage and the final stage is hunger. The final stage is always hunger, no matter when I get shocked. I could be shocked while eating a Sammich and then go eat for the final stage. After eating I will be all better.

"-Akira." Itachi said to me shocking me out of the third stage of shock.

"Yes?" I ask as if nothing happened, since it didn't.

"You were ignoring me."

"And?"

"I don't like it."

"Ok, seems like a personal problem."

"Akira." Itachi growled my name out in anger. That's a first; he's never done that before.

"I'm hungry." I say to the shock of Itachi because he was expecting me to make a big deal out of the kiss.

"Hn." Itachi said not moving from his position of still hovering over me keeping me on the bed.

"Hungry. I need food."

"We just finished eating." Itachi commented confused but not letting me up.

"Food! Please Itachi?" I ask looking at him with puppy dog eyes. I need food so that I can get over my shock. Food. Itachi blinks upon seeing my look and smirks once more.

"What do I get out of letting you go?"

"Pie." I answer because I want pie. Mmm Apple Pie.

"I don't want pie." Itachi said his mouth right next to my ear.

"But I do." I tell him.

"And?"

"Please." I try again with the begging. Hey I will throw away my pride for pie.

"Fine." He said rolling off of me and releasing my wrists.

"Pie!" I exclaim then run out of the room to make some pie.

"What are you making?" Temari asked as she came into the kitchen.

"Apple pie." I tell her simply since I am concentrating on mixing stuff. Mmm apple pie mix stuff. Don't ask why there is pie mix inside the tower in the Forest of Death, it's better not to analyze these things.

"Sounds good, can I have some?" Temari asked her eyes pleading with me to say yes.

"I suppose so. I don't think that 'It' and I could eat the entire thing ourselves." I tell her and she smiles happily at me.

"That's great, I actually am a horrible cook."

"Really. I'll even give you a piece for Gaara and Kankuro."

"Kankuro will be thrilled but I don't know if Gaara would eat it."

"Does he not like apple?"

"He does not trust things that people have cooked for him, he thinks we will poison him or something." Temari responded looking a bit sad.

"Well then bring him in here." I tell her my idea, "Then I will make the three of you your own pie and if Gaara watches me make it he can be assured that I did not poison it."

"I suppose that might work, but that means that I have to find him and convince him to come."

"Just tell him that I am baking him a pie."

"I'll try." Temari said as she left the room leaving me alone once again to cook my teams pie. As I am about to put the pie in the oven Itachi comes into the kitchen.

"Yes?" I ask him looking at him confused. Why is he in the kitchen?

"Are you done?" He's not a patient man is he?

"With our teams pie I just put it in the oven and with my other pie I haven't even started yet."

"Other pie?"

"I'm making one for the sand ninja." I inform him happily.

"Why?" He asked me angry for some odd reason.

"Because I can?" I ask state, yay paradox intonation returns.

"You don't have to."

"But I want to."

"Fine." Itachi said sitting down at the kitchen table.

"It's a bit unnerving talking to you while you wear that mask." I tell him as I sit in front of him.

"It's annoying." Itachi said right as Temari and her brothers walked into the room. Itachi and Gaara immediately glare at one another, I just know that is what Itachi is doing behind his mask.

"I can start making the pie now." I say more to myself than anyone as I stand up to start making the pie. Gaara comes over and creepily watches me make the pie. He is standing far enough away that Itachi is letting him watch me but he is close enough so that he can see my every move. It is very creepy and disturbing to have someone watch your every move like that. So it was extremely creepy for me to have a known killer watching me that closely.

"What made you decide to make pie?" Temari asked me curious.

"To get over my shock, it will be completely gone once I eat." I inform her honestly.

"Shock?" Temari asked confused.

"Hn." Itachi said, I'm sure smirking, "So that's what this is about."

"Your fault." I answer back.

"How does eating cure shock?" Temari asked.

"Not quite sure but it has always worked for me." I inform her.

"What did 'It' do?" Gaara asked startling me. Who wouldn't be startled when someone who hasn't talked the entire time they were in the room watching you make pie suddenly says something?

"He, ummm…" I begin blushing because I am remembering the kiss. This pie needs to be ready so I can get over the kiss and go on with my life. I need food to solve all my problems.

"I caught some fish." Kisame announced coming into the kitchen.

"Saved!" I mutter to myself ignoring the fact that Gaara is now glaring at Kisame. Then I finish getting the pie ready and put it in the oven.

"Took you long enough." Itachi said to Kisame when he came in.

"This one team attacked me while I was fishing."

"I'm hungry." Kankuro said as he walked into the kitchen with one of his puppets on his back. Unfortunately I didn't know that he would have his puppet in plain sight so I looked over at just the right angle so that the life-less eyes were staring at me. Life-less eyes…Sasori's puppets…death.

"A puppet, run away!" I say as I run frantically from the kitchen causing all the inhabitants of the kitchen to stare at my retreating figure in shock.

"I didn't think that Karasu was that scary." Kankuro noted once he got over the shock of me running away.

"She must be really afraid of puppets." Temari noted staring at the door I left in still getting over the shock.

"I guess you-know-who must have shown her his puppet collection while she was there." Kisame whispered to Itachi while the three siblings were still staring at the door that I ran through.

"Seems so." Itachi responded out loud to both Temari and Kisame's statements.

"What about the pie?" Gaara asked startling everyone once again with his input into the conversation. This caused Temari and Itachi to look at the oven and notice that the timer wasn't even set.

Well that was a bit of a different chapter…I wonder what Sasori did to her to make her so afraid of puppets? (Shouldn't I know this?) Also why doesn't Itachi want pie? Who doesn't want pie? (A voice of reason in my head says people who don't like pie) I mean even Gaara wants pie.

I think that I was hungry while writing most of this chapter.

For some reason I feel like making chapter ten like an end of season TV special, ignore my weirdness. A special thanks to all those who have reviewed:

Lunar D. Hayase- who holds a special place in my heart…first reviewer to review more than once (Where did you go? I miss you.)

Dare Deville- who has reviewed more than once and wants me to update.

Sin-Whoever you may be…no seriously I don't know.

182.:zget:.281- again whoever you are, and you have to love excited caps lock

AmaranteX- who thinks I am funny.

Hotarusgirlforever- who made up a word just to describe my story…amazingful.

XdeathxoverxLifeX- who used all three of the most common review phrases in a single review (talent); funny, awesome, and update.

And last but not least LindaNM- Who probably thought that she wouldn't be on this list since she usually doesn't count. But she reviewed! And mentioned the 'creepy potato stare' from the first chapter.

Preview from next chapter: When in doubt quit!

_After I ran away from the evil puppet of doom, and unwillingly my pie, I found myself face to face with…a wall. Yes I ran blindly, again, even though I told myself not to do so I ran right into a wall. It hurt. Stupid wall fought back. It was supposed to be my win, since it's inanimate and all. So to prove to the wall that I am really the stronger and more useful of the two of us I walk away. Ha, it can't walk away so I win, take that wall. _


	11. When in doubt quit!

When in doubt quit

I am going to Universal Tomorrow so I am uploading a day early since that is better than uploading late...

To lessen my own confusion and thus the confusion of others I have decided to type Itachi's codename, as 'It' so there will no longer be any confusion with the regular word It. Kisame's will stay the same because he is almost never used and thus unimportant.

Shout out to Hatori27 who is a new reviewer. Yay reviews.

And itachisneko-nya I think if I was Gaara I would wonder about the pie also.

I was looking at the reader traffic and I noticed something interesting about August.

August Stats: For the month of 2008-08, there have been a total of **666 Hits** and **265 Visitors** to story: **Issues with Itachi**.

My story is apparently evil. So enjoy the evil-ness.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto if I did that would mean that I would be able to draw.

This chapter brought to you by lecture classes and tangents during them. Who listens to the random tangents? I don't, apparently I write this.

* * *

When in doubt quit!

After I ran away from the evil puppet of doom, and unwillingly my pie, I found myself face to face with…a wall. Yes I ran blindly, again, even though I told myself not to do it I ran right into a wall. It hurt. Stupid wall fought back. It was supposed to be my win, since it's inanimate and all. So to prove to the wall that I am really the stronger and more useful of the two of us I walk away. Ha, it can't walk away so I win, take that wall.

Luckily before I can do anymore damage to the poor innocent inanimate objects I am found by Kisame. I guess everyone else was too lazy to go find me. Kisame was ordered by a group of people younger than him, how his pride must hurt. Almost makes me want to listen to what he is saying. Wait, he mentioned pie, maybe I should listen to him.

"What about pie?" I ask innocently, blinking up at him. He's tall, and blue. A pretty light blue…

"Did you hear one word I have said this entire time?" Kisame asked angrily behind his mask. I just realized that I couldn't see his pretty blue ness behind his mask and gloves.

"I heard pie." I offer helpfully then I decided to voice my other concern to him, "Isn't it hot?"

"The pie?" He asked confused.

"Well yes, the pie should be hot, I mean I left it in the oven. Unless I forgot to turn the oven on the pie should be hot."

"What were you talking about, if not about the pie?" he asked curiously.

"If you are hot with your mask and gloves on." I say as if we had been talking about the heat originally and not simply about pie. Actually I am not too sure what we were talking about. "What are we talking about?"

"I was telling you that you forgot about the pie."

"You talked for that long about that?"

"Well I also complained for a bit about being told to do things by younger people." He admitted.

"I missed that?" I remark sadly because I wanted to hear about him having to obey people younger than him. Hold on, what young people?

"What is taking you so long?" Itachi asked when he walked into the hall.

"Impatient are we?" I ask Itachi on behalf of Kisame, since Kisame looked angry about Itachi's impatience. I decided to voice it for him since I would not be punished for it like Kisame would.

"Just finish making your pie." Itachi commanded solidifying the fact that he is impatient.

"I didn't know that you liked pie that much." I comment as I skip into the kitchen. I can already smell the pie…Mmm pie. Pie makes me happy, thus the skipping.

* * *

So after everyone ate pie, in complete silence…except for eating sounds, we all went our separate ways. This means that Gaara went to do psychotic demon things, Temari went to go flirt with someone, and Kankuro had already been kicked out of the kitchen before I even got back, since he was the reason I left…well his puppet anyway, so he didn't get any pie. Kisame went to take a bath, I told him that something smelled fishy and then I stared at him. Itachi went back to stalking me. Good times, good times.

* * *

The next morning I decided to make pancakes because I can. I was too lazy to make any special pancakes, so everyone has to deal with plain pancakes. Not only was I too lazy to make special pancakes but I also used Bisquick to make the batter. So basically all I did was add some stuff to a powder, mix it, and put it in a pan to cook it. Easy peasy, yeah if it wasn't for the ninjas. Stupid ninjas started coming into the kitchen. You know what they did? Not help me, no; they decided to pretend I wasn't there. So every time I turned around there was someone in my way. Get out of my kitchen! Well it's not my kitchen but get out anyway.

"Akira can I have some pancakes?" Temari asks politely causing me to grin at her.

"Sure since you asked." I say handing her a plate with two pancakes on it then I find the syrup and gave it to her.

"Can we have some too?" some ninja asked, the ones who were in my way before.

"If you leave the kitchen." I said wanting them out of my kitchen. I claimed it just like my room. Itachi still sneaks into my room at night though, well not really sneaks but comes in and pretends it's his. Poor delusional Itachi the room is mine.

"Fine." They agree to my demands so I reward them with another bottle of syrup, for some odd reason there's like five syrup bottles here, and a plate full of pancakes.

"Can I have some?" Kankuro asks after he comes in and tries unsuccessfully to steal Temari's pancakes.

"I don't see why not, it's not like it's technically my food." I claim the kitchen though it's mine.

"Thanks." Kankuro said once he got his plate of pancakes. I being a good little cook continued cooking. I hear the door open once more and hope it isn't Itachi since I just gave his pancakes to Kankuro, well all but one. Oh good it's Gaara. Ah crap, Itachi is behind him, glaring.

"Pancakes." Itachi said, must resist urge to call him captain obvious.

"Yup." I answer silently urging the pancakes in the pan to cook faster.

"Where are mine?" Itachi asked looking at Temari and Kankuro's plates filled with pancakes, I had given Temari more when she asked.

"Uh, about that. You see since you weren't here I gave them away. But I am making more." I say quickly then remember that there is still one more left. Wait where did that plate go? I look around and notice that Gaara has commandeered the pancake and is sitting down calmly at the table with his siblings.

"How did he get one?" Itachi asked watching Gaara pour some syrup on his pancake.

"Actually he stole it. I was just about to offer it to you." I told him honestly blinking at Itachi when he growled in Gaara's direction.

"Give back my pancake." Itachi told Gaara in a really threatening voice. I know Itachi was impatient but this is ridiculous. Maybe he's really hungry.

"No." Gaara told Itachi his eyes narrowing into a full-fledged glare at Itachi.

"Guys, more pancakes will be ready in a bit." I said trying to get them to stop being stupid. Alas my efforts were in vain since they merely glared at me instead. "Fine fight, but get out of my kitchen." I say causing the two of them to leave to go fight.

"That worked?" Temari asked shocked. Kankuro grunted his consent since his mouth was full with pancake since he though they would take it from him.

"You're as shocked as I am." I comment as I flip over the pancakes and get back to cooking. Eventually I get tired of waiting for them to get back, plus I ran out of Bisquick, so I put the pancakes under a cover so they would remain warm. I put a note on top that said:

Dear 'It' and Gaara,

I got bored so I left. Here are your pancakes. Have fun eating with one another. No killing in my kitchen. I'd tell you where I am but I could be anywhere honestly.

Akira

PS There are an odd number of pancakes so have fun figuring that out.

* * *

Time passed in the tower and stuff happened. Basically the only interesting things that happened were: Kisame caught more fish, oh wait that isn't interesting. Temari tried to give me a makeover; she said something about my lack of fishnet. Kankuro hit on me and then I didn't see him for two days. Itachi and Gaara had a staring contest (three times) over something, no winner known. What else happened, oh yeah, I annoyed the crap out of everyone.

* * *

"Wow, Kit your team really cut it close on the whole making it out alive thing." I commented to Naruto once he, finally, made it into the tower.

"Why did you leave us?" Sakura asked, well shouted at me.

"My Sammich was in danger." I told them dramatically.

"You chose your Sammich over us?" Sakura asked angry with me for some odd reason…

"You had help. I don't see what difference me being there would make. I mean it's not like I can fight."

"Aren't you a ninja?" Sasuke asked me; wow he actually talked to me. I think this is the first time he has this entire story, moving along…

"We have to line up for some odd reason." Kisame said appearing out of nowhere like a good ninja.

Stuff happened that I didn't listen to, something about wars and jobs. Hey that gray haired dude looks familiar, he's talking to an undistinguishable blur. Yay my selective sight is working; it edited out the creepy green jumpsuit man. Oh look over there, that sound ninja teacher also looks oddly familiar. Oh he's looking at me. He smirked at me, yes I definitely know him and he's probably going to try to kill me or something. Stupid smirking. Oh wait what was that about quitting; oh look Sakura is fighting with Sasuke let's pay attention to that.

"I'm going to tell the teachers about that bruise." Sakura argued with Sasuke. Didn't I already tell her it was a curse mark? Poor Naruto is confused. "Then…"

"I'll quit." Kabuto announced then Naruto wondered why and Kabuto gave some stupid excuse. I didn't hear because there was this bug on the ground and it reminded me of that one bug from the Chunin exams. Steve! So I decided to try and catch it but it ran up some boy's leg before I could pounce on it, I mean nicely pick it up, yeah. Maybe I should pay attention to the exam that I am currently in.

"May I assume that there are no other people who wish to retire?" Sickly guy asked. Man I must be the least observant person even because I just noticed he was there.

"No you may not." I say, and then Itachi Kisame and I all say, "I quit." at the same time. I think that was the only thing that the three of us have done as a team this entire exam.

"An entire team wants to quit?" the Hokage asked no one in particular.

"Apparently." Anko answers because she has talking privileges since she has a microphone head set thing.

"Can we still stand here, it seems interesting." I ask not wanting to miss anymore team seven drama.

"I don't see why not." The sickly guy said coughing. Oh look Sasuke is holding Sakura's hand, false alarm he is stopping her from doing something. I was looking forward to teasing Sasuke about it later, even though I have only talked to him once in my life.

"Be quiet about this bruise." Sasuke told Sakura. It's a curse mark, why didn't he listen to me. Oh yeah he was passed out, no excuse. Why is she almost crying?

"Why are you acting so tough?" Sakura asked. I think it's because he's a man and they have that annoying pride thing. Plus he's an Uchiha and they have to keep up their cool tough guy image. "I don't want to see you suffering anymore." Then don't look. "I…"

"It doesn't matter to you!" Sasuke interrupted her. Well that was mean, I guess. Why is there an exclamation mark? Then Sakura is shocked. I could have sworn he has said meaner things to her before… "You're just being nosy." Ok, where did the blue background come from? Seriously, and doesn't anyone other than Naruto notice this is going on? "I told you before…" He just keeps talking. Didn't anyone ever tell you if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all? Oh right you were an Uchiha. "I'm an avenger." That explains what exactly? "This isn't just an exam to me. I don't care about being a Chunin, either." If he goes on much longer I am going to start zoning out. In fact if I weren't mocking him so much in my head I would have already zoned off. "Am I strong? I just want the answer to that." That's why? Worst reason ever. "I am going to fight all the strong guys. And…" Ok I draw the line at flashbacks. Oh look Gaara. "And those strong guys are here." Really. That's oddly convenient for you isn't it? "I will not allow even you to take away my path." Cue stronger glare. Does no one else notice this monologue? I would think they would at least notice that Naruto is being quiet for once, since he is still in shock about something said earlier.

"Sasuke-kun…" Sakura said. Finally someone other than Sasuke said something. I am going to ignore the fact that the something that was said was completely uninformative.

"Stop acting cool, you idiot. Sakura-chan's is worried about you…" Naruto said finally getting over hi shock over something or other.

"Naruto…" Sasuke said turning around to look at Naruto. "I want to fight with you too." Sasuke said smirking. Causing Naruto to be shocked once more and there was this weird chime noise… then they stared at each other.

"Hey 'It'," I whisper in his ear so that the two boys won't overhear, "Is it just me or did that smirk your brother just gave to Naruto look less like an 'I want to fight you' smirk and more of a 'come hither' smirk?"

"Definitely 'come hither'." He replied causing me to laugh quietly. Which means soft giggling.

"Just making sure." Oh look there's a giant TV. Cool. It has Sasuke's name and some other person's name on it. I guess he gets to fight first. I think he's happy about that since he is once again smirking, but more in the 'I will defeat you way'.

I can't decide which side to go sit on. Should I go on the side with the sand siblings and be stared at, but get to talk to Temari. Or should I go on the side where all the rookies are going. Tough decisions. Oh look Orochimaru is on the sand siblings side. Other side it is.

"Hey Kakashi-Sensei." Naruto said to the gray haired man who looks familiar. I remember who he is. I know him. He's…

* * *

Ok I think this is probably the silliest Cliffhanger ever but I couldn't resist stopping there. Is it bad that I keep going to read fan fiction after posting my story and I read the summery to this story and go 'that sounds cool' oh wait I wrote that…

Yes I did have to re-watch the Chunin exam episode (38), that's why I know exactly what happened when and how in this chapter. I had no clue that Sasuke was such a talker.

To those people who keep up with the Manga, according to Sasuke logic shouldn't he hate himself the most?

* * *

Shameless plugging: I have a new story that I am writing; it's a Bleach story though, called Zenpachi. You should read it and make me happy if you are also a Bleach fan.

Eri is the third seat of the 6th division who is childhood friends with her captain. She is suddenly assigned to do the 11th divisions paperwork. Will she survive Kenpachi? Why won't she use her sword? Why is Ishida in this story? ByakuyaXEriXKenpachi

* * *

Preview from next chapter: Return of the Bathrobe Towel merchant

"_Such a lovely memory." Kakashi said once again zoning off thinking about, well stuff I don't want to know about, but I have a feeling that I was involved._

"_Just so you know I never did it again." I interrupted his imaginings again. Just because I don't want to know doesn't mean I will let him imagine it._

_"That's a shame." Kakashi said smirking behind his mask, don't ask how I know._

_"I hate to interrupt but we have a match to begin so please leave the arena." The sick guy said well there was coughing too but that is unimportant. We got in trouble._


	12. Return of the bathrobe towel merchant

Return of the Bathrobe Towel merchant

I am updating so early because I have to go to a writing workshop from 8-4. I hope you all enjoy the chapter! Like last week, early is better than late.

Ok I seem kind of anti-Lee and Gai in this but their jumpsuits are really bad (not to mention hair and eyebrows). But Akira is a bit brutal to them. (And to the unimportant ninja)

This chapter brought to you by Exams, instead of studying I decided to watch Naruto episodes in Japanese with English subtitles and write this.

* * *

Return of the Bathrobe Towel merchant

Last time:

"_Hey Kakashi-Sensei." Naruto said to the gray haired man who looks familiar. I remember who he is. I know him. He's…_

"Bathrobe Towel Merchant!" I exclaim running over to Kakashi and giving him a tackle hug. Him being a ninja and all allowed him to not fall down.

"Akira!" Kakashi said after a bit, I think he was trying to remember my name.

"I knew you were a ninja." I commented.

"Then why did you allow me to stay in your house?"

"Apparently it's a bad habit of mine, letting unknown ninja sleep over. At least you didn't kidnap me or break one of my doors." I say turning to look at Itachi.

"Nice Lady, you know Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked looking back and forth between the two of us.

"Yeah, I was on a mission and got lost in the woods and stumbled upon this house and Akira lived there. Since I was tired and nearly out of chakra from an earlier battle I decided to knock on the door and hope someone would answer it. Someone did and it was one of the happiest moments in my life…" He answered zoning off at the end remembering.

"Pervert." I said glaring at him. "What kind of cover story was being a Bathrobe Towel merchant anyway? You could have just said you were a ninja."

"You're the one who didn't have a shirt on." Kakashi commented coolly.

"Who would think that they would get a visitor that late at night in the middle of a dense forest. A _dense_ one!" I finished saying right before Itachi decided to come and put his arm around my shoulders. I guess he was jealous.

"Kakashi-sensei you saw Akira without her shirt?" Sakura asked curious.

"Such a lovely memory." Kakashi said once again zoning off thinking about, well stuff I don't want to know about, but I have a feeling that I was involved.

"Just so you know I never did it again." I interrupted his imaginings again. Just because I don't want to know doesn't mean I will let him imagine it.

"That's a shame." Kakashi said smirking behind his mask, don't ask how I know.

"I hate to interrupt but we have a match to begin so please leave the arena." The sick ninja guy said well there was coughing too but that is unimportant. We got in trouble.

"Sorry." I apologized then walked up the steps to where the rest of the rookie nine were, causing everyone but Sasuke and his opponent to follow me.

"Eternal Rival! What are you arguing with this fair maiden about?" the oddly green blur asked after we were in the stands. Oh wait, selective sight failing…

"'It' save me!" I say hiding behind Itachi once my selective sight was completely broken. "The green spandex is going to attack me."

"Do not be worried my dear, I will not attack you for that is un-youthful."

"Make it go away." I mumble into Itachi's back since I decided burrowing my head in his back will make the evil green jumpsuit go away.

"Leave." Itachi commanded haughtily since I had chosen him to hide behind and not Kakashi. The fact that Kakashi is on the wrong side of the evil green jumpsuit ninja is besides the point.

"Do not be afraid of the youthful outfit that I wear, fair maiden." Gai said doing his nice guy pose, the one with the thumb and the teeth shine.

"Gai-sensei!" I heard since I decided that the nice guy pose was worse than him just being there and once more hid from the evil green monster.

"Lee!" I heard while Itachi dragged me somewhere. Oh he was bringing me to the railing so that I could watch the fighting and not the scary green jumpsuit man.

"You can look now." Itachi informed me, standing directly behind me either to ensue that I didn't have to see the green jumpsuit even if I turned around or he was using the entire thing as an excuse to stand close to me. As I am debating between the two possibilities Itachi puts his arms around me basically hugging me from behind; Well that settles it, he is definitely using it as an excuse.

"Oh look a fight." I say loudly causing all the ninja who weren't paying attention to look towards the ring.

"Sasuke-kun!" the fan girls squealed.

"Fan girls are loud." I comment to Itachi, since he is the one who is near me, actually I wasn't really talking to him but muttering to myself. It is usually bad to admit that you were talking to yourself though. I turn back to the fighting, well to the beginning of the fight. The Unimportant, most likely fake, leaf ninja grabbed Sasuke's head. O.K…I get it, it's an attack. Weird. "'It'?"

"He's taking Sasuke's chakra." Itachi answered apparently knowing what I was wondering about. Maybe he can read my mind! No, that's not possible he would have killed me by now. Whew safe. I have decided what to call the fake leaf ninja's attack; it shall be known as the evil blue glowing hand attack! Not to be confused by the green glowing hand attack or the light blue glowing hand attack or the ok maybe I should give it a better name. I know! It will be the 'I got your face, and chakra' attack. But it has to be said with a small break between face and the 'and' so that it is an afterthought.

Why must Naruto be loud and yell? Oh well. Sasuke is looking at Naruto, not at his opponent that seems stupid, then at Lee. Dodging, OMG kick to the face. "Go kick to the face!" I shout immensely happy to see the mystical kicking to the face. This caused almost everyone to turn and look at me. "Fight." I reminded them calmly pointing to the arena and they turned back to the fight but I could tell that they still thought I was crazy. I look across the fight no longer paying attention, what could be cooler than a kick to the face? Gaara is giving me a strange look, but I just continue smiling and wave. Yay, kick to the face.

Something just happened, there's this fighting music playing that wasn't before and Orochimaru is no longer smirking. Wait how can Sasuke and dudemabober stay in the air that long. Oh I get it Sasuke didn't turn all evil like and then used Lee's technique to win…that still doesn't explain the airtime or the random background music. Sasuke is standing up; ok I shouldn't have looked at Orochimaru. He looks like he's a little too happy. Shudder, creepy. Ew, I just saw his tongue. Looking away now.

The bathrobe towel merchant and Sasuke are going somewhere. I look back at Itachi trying to communicate with him through his mind powers that I want to follow them and thus need to be let go. Oh yeah he dose not have mind powers. I forgot again. "'It'…"

"Don't follow, too dangerous." Itachi supplied. How am I sure that he doesn't have mind powers? Will he ever let me say more than his alias? Why is this too dangerous but leaving me alone in the forest of death was a good idea? I think I'll just watch the fight now.

So Zaku versus sunglasses leaf ninja. Cue cool fighting music that is slightly weird. Hey where did Orochimaru go? He left when his ninja is getting ready to fight, how rude. He probably went to go stalk Sasuke or something. Oh one of Zaku's arms works that's good for him. Wind attack through the palm of his hand. If I learn nothing else from this it will be that I should beware the hands of ninja. I think ignoring the arms that are still around me; maybe if I ignore him he will go away. Shino is down and he's smoking? There is dust? Where did the dust come from? I'm confused again. Odd noise, Shino is standing. He has bugs coming out of him? Did they make the random dust?

"Steve!" I shout nearly leaning completely over the railing and flipping into the arena. Luckily there were these arms making sure that I didn't fall down and go boom. Shino looked at me, well everyone did.

"His name is Shino not Steve." Kiba yelled to me thinking I was talking about Shino.

"I know that, I'm not stupid. Plus his name is on the giant TV behind his head." I point out gesturing towards the TV that did have Shino's name on it.

"Then why did you call him Steve?" Kiba asked confused.

"Steve is my friend." I say simply causing all the people there to look at me weird. "Go Steve!" I cheered for my buggy friend. Shino tricked Zaku and Zaku failed miserably as a ninja and Steve won, go Steve!

As Shino walked up the steps I ducked under Itachi's arms and freed myself from his grasp. Why didn't I do that earlier? Shino looked at me and paused in his walking. He looked at his hand and said "You may go." Then a small bug flew into my hand. Is it? It is!

"Steve! I missed you!" I say talking animatedly to the bug as many people stare at me in shock as Shino rejoins his team.

"So Steve is that bug?" Kiba asked.

"Yes, we met during the written test of the exams. We became friends, and then he left me. Why did you leave Steve?" I asked holding the bug up to my ear as if I could hear it. "I forgot I don't speak bug…"

"Akira." Itachi said to stop my ramblings.

"Yes?" I ask innocently causing Itachi to glare at me a bit for annoying him so much. The question is was he annoyed about the bug, me talking too much, or me escaping his grasp? The world may never know.

"Just watch the battles."

"Fine." I say but then I mutter to Steve, "He is always like this don't take it personally."

Oh look Bathrobe Towel Merchant is back from wherever he and Sasuke disappeared to. "Kakashi-Sensei." Naruto announced.

"You missed Steve win his match." I informed him pointing to the bug in my hand much to his confusion.

"Okay." Kakashi said humoring me while taking several steps away from Steve and I. Oh look a giant TV, must watch. Kankuro, ew that means puppets.

So Kankuro and his puppet fought against unimportant guy number four. I wasn't paying attention because I apparently am afraid of puppets now, I blame Sasori, especially creepy ones that attack you and move on their own. Inanimate objects should not be animate. So I decided to sit on the floor and chat with Steve. I also used my umbrella to shield myself from both the fight and the evil green jumpsuit twins, since Itachi is no longer shielding me from them. I think he's sulking.

Ok Sakura and Ino are going to battle. I guess I should cheer for my I guess friend, ally person. Ally in what you ask? Hate of evil green jumpsuits. We must unite together to rid the world of their horrors. Ok I should get back on topic. "Go Sakura! Use your smarts and short hair to your advantage! Short hair Power!"

Then they stood there, stuff happened and Ino cut off her hair. Oh no there goes Sakura's advantage. How did she know the secret was in the power of less hair? Personally I don't care about being a ninja so my hair is long but they can cut off their hair to seek ultimate short hair power. Too bad they both did. That's why they tied and thus both failed. At least they failed dramatically, I think. Ok so I was chatting with Steve during their fight, so sue me.

Steve left me again, flew back to that boy with sunglasses on. I am going to pretend that he said that he would hang out later... Who's next? Oh yeah-giant TV will know. Or I could have just looked down, Temari and Tenten. Did it just choose them because they were the only females whose names start with T? Oh well.

"Go Temari!" I shout causing the Konoha ninja to look at me shocked. "What?" I asked looking around at them.

"Since when did you know her, nice lady?" Naruto asked voicing everyone's thoughts.

"When we were in the tower early I guess we bonded. I would root for the other girl too if I knew who she was and met her before in my life. So it's nothing personal it's just I know and like Temari. But she is not allowed in my kitchen." I say crossing my arms during the last part. While this conversation is happening they are fighting. Temari won because she had a cool fan.

Poor Tenten her landing on the hard part of the fan looked like it really hurt. Oh well, she is a ninja she will get over it or not be one anymore. Apparently I have no heart or something since I was fine with this. I was also fine with the rain ninja's death since it was cool and I got an umbrella. Maybe I am not the best judge of compassion needed for the dead or injured. "Yay, fan! And Temari!" I cheered almost forgetting to cheer for my friend I guess. Oh my goodness girls can do the evil smirk, Temari did it right before she tossed Tenten through the air. That wasn't very nice.

"You have very scary friends." Naruto muttered to me as he was freaking out over Temari's win.

"Apparently so." I whispered back but then suddenly smiled eerily at him, "You don't know the half of it." this comment caused Itachi to snicker. So Temari was mocking Lee until Gaara told her to stop.

"Stop dealing with that ugly guy that is with his guardian." Gaara told Temari glaring at someone who wasn't me. Then Lee glared.

"More allies against the green jumpsuits! We will be unstoppable now that Gaara is on our side. Right Gaara!" I yelled across the arena interrupting Lee and Gaara's glare fest. Personally I think that Gaara's glare was better, but that's my opinion. Gaara's response to me including him in my anti-green jumpsuit campaign was to stare at me then smirk. Ok, I can live with that response. Itachi decided to growl for some reason and I am sure that he is glaring at Gaara through his mask. Can't anyone do any facial expression other than a smirk or a glare? Apparently not so much. Wait I just realized something…Where is Kisame?

* * *

Beware the Palms of ninja's! (suddenly thought of Neji) Where is Kisame?

* * *

Preview from next chapter: Laziness, flatulence, and Fate

_"Me next!" Naruto shouted towards the TV, yeah like the inanimate object will listen to him. I tried that already._

_"Why do you want to go next?" I asked curiously._

_"So that I can fight."_

_"Naruto is so youthful." Lee remarked._

"_Is he?" I asked not looking at the green clad ninja. Well apparently the TV hates Naruto because it is Shikamaru and Kin's turn to battle. "Well he looks thrilled."_


	13. Laziness, flatulence, and Fate

Only about one more chapter after this will have the prelims, Yay almost done with the fighting. Considering the matches lasted like 10 episodes I think three chapters is a necessary evil.

This chapter brought to you by: Canceled class. One of my classes this week was canceled and I think it was because the teacher didn't finish grading our exams and just canceled class so that he wouldn't have to deal with us asking him about it.

* * *

Laziness, flatulence, and Fate

"Stupid Itachi making me do all the work for this mission..." Kisame muttered in an undisclosed place talking about something...

* * *

"Me next!" Naruto shouted towards the TV, yeah like the inanimate object will listen to him. I tried that already.

"Why do you want to go next?" I asked curiously.

"So that I can fight."

"Naruto is so youthful." Lee remarked.

"Is he?" I asked not looking at the green clad ninja. Well apparently the TV hates Naruto because it is Shikamaru and Kin's turn to battle. "Well he looks thrilled. Wait how did he get down there so fast?"

So Shikamaru tried to capture Kin in his shadow. So Kin did what any normal person would do, she threw pointy objects at him (senbon needles) but what wasn't normal about our dear friend Kin is that there was a little bell on the end. 'Kay that's a bit weird. Maybe she is going to annoy him to death with faint ringing. Or like at Christmas time and someone gave the kids a bell necklace and it has the most obnoxious ring because you hear it every five seconds because the kid is running around the house or ringing it themselves. Ok so there was a purpose for the bells, not the one I suggested by the way.

"Hey 'It' I'm going to go use the little ninja's room." I informed Itachi before beginning to walk away since he is my keeper and all.

"Don't you mean the Kunoichi's room?" Itachi asks confused.

"Um, nope. I'm going to use the mens room because it's closer." I inform him.

"By about two steps."

"Still closer." I practically sing as I walk towards the bathroom, I would have skipped but when you have to go that's usually not a good idea. I arrive at the mens room and look over at the women's room. It is so more than 2 steps away. I will point that out to Itachi later, but first I must count the number of steps it takes to get to the women's bathroom from the mens so that I will have proof of Itachi's wrongness. It was an entire eight steps, that's a lot more than 2. I win.

* * *

So after I use the facilities I come face to face with Orochimaru. "Hello Akira."

"Hello." I say cheerfully washing my hands at the sink.

"What are you doing in the guys bathroom?" he asked confused.

"Do you really want me to explain?"

"No."

"Why are _you_ here?"

"To use the bathroom?"

"Somehow I don't believe you." I inform him as Kabuto joins us in the restroom.

"Hello." Kabuto says and I begin to wonder if all male ninja take organized bathroom trips. Here I was thinking that was a girl thing.

"Okay greeting people happily in the toilet room is really creepy." I announce just wanting to dry my hands and get out of there, but Orochimaru was in front of the paper towels. "Could you either move or hand me a paper towel?"

"Now my dear Akira are you in a hurry to leave?" Orochimaru asked.

"Yes, I would like to not be in a bathroom with wet hands, thank you very much."

"Didn't you want to know why I was here." Orochimaru asked confused since I had asked him about it before.

"Not really, just making small talk."

"Well Kabuto and I were going to have a meeting." he said telling me even though I had just stated that I did not want to know.

"In the men's bathroom?" I ask one eyebrow raising, this facial expression only works when I am actually interested. No really I can't do it unless it's natural. I suppose I should just be happy with the fact that I can make the face at all.

"Yes." he answered simply.

"You are one strange man."

"You are one weird woman." he countered.

"You used alliteration impressive."

"Orochimaru-sama, what are we going to do since Akira is here?" Kabuto asked.

"Use the women's room? Or even better hand me some paper towels so I can dry my hands and leave." I offered my two cents.

"No, I think we should include Akira in our plans, besides she owes me for the ring."

"Or you could not." I suggest.

"Brilliant idea, no one would suspect her, especially since she is on such good terms with our targets."

"If you are talking about Sasuke, I spoke to him once then he stared at me. That was the extent of our conversing. In fact until recently I thought the longest sentence he could formulate was a total of 7 words long. That's half the size of the sentence I said right before this one." I said then was relieved to see Kisame walk into the bathroom. "Kiss!" I shout hugging him, secretly wiping my hands discreetly on the back of his shirt.

"What are you doing in the mens room?"

"Why does everyone want to know about my bowel movements?"

"What are you doing here?" Kisame asked noticing that Orochimaru and Kabuto were in the bathroom for the first time. He's a great ninja I swear.

"What do you think?" Orochimaru asked.

"Not using the bathroom." Kisame answered.

"Technically he is using the bathroom but not for what most people use it for." I offered.

"Thank you Akira."

"I am going now, you guys have fun in the bathroom doing whatever." I announced regally walking out the door. I then proceeded to walk back to the arena place so that I can tell Itachi about how he is wrong about the amount of walking needed to use the women's room. Maybe I should tell him about Orochimaru and Kisame? Nah. When I reached the arena I immediately noticed that Shikamaru was in the stands with us. "What are you doing here? Weren't you fighting or something."

"You missed the end of his battle and the beginning of Naruto's." Kakashi informed me happily.

"Was I in the bathroom that long?" I ask.

"No, Shikamaru's battle was oddly short." Shino informed me shocking everyone, including myself.

"Ok, hey 'It'."

"What?" He asked me, annoyed with my antics. Or maybe he missed me and was so depressed when I was gone that now that I am back he is angry because I made him feel that bad by leaving him. I think it's probably the first reason since the second one makes no sense (just like Sasuke logic).

"Going to the women's bathroom is eight steps not two."

"Did you count before or after you used the men's bathroom?" Itachi asked.

"I counted before."

"So you traveled an extra sixteen steps just to prove me wrong before you used the facilities?"

"Yup."

"You are an enigma."

"You just noticed this?"

"No just adding to my evidence."

"Good comeback." I said impressed.

"Maybe you should watch Naruto's battle." Itachi said reminding me that there was an epic battle going on and I was talking about the number of steps it takes to reach the bathroom.

"Go Kit!" I shout down at Naruto startling both him and Kiba. "Beat Mr. Scruffy and his fluffy!" after I shouted this everyone looked at me. When I say everyone I mean everyone. There was this lizard in the corner that didn't even care about the ninja exam and it looked at me. I think it did anyway, maybe it was dead. It could be a ninja in disguise here to find out who is in the exams and their strengths and weaknesses. Then again it could be a normal lizard that happens to find that corner of this building oddly comfortable. Either way it looked at me.

"The evidence just keeps building." Itachi muttered.

"Are you building a case or something?"

"Hn, just watch the battle." After Itachi said this the mask glared at the people who were supposed to be fighting but instead had stopped to stare at me. Once the fight resumed I watched it but chose not to comment since everyone would just stare at me. After Naruto won, by farting in Kiba's face, I actually felt bad for Kiba.

"Poor Mr. Scruffy." I said sadly in Kiba's general direction I think. He went that way since Akamaru was hurt and all.

"Why are you calling Kiba that?" Sakura asked.

"His hair is scruffy looking." I answered calmly.

"That is true." Ino offered butting into our conversation.

"Who is fluffy?" Kakashi asked.

"Akamaru is fluffy. Cute little fluffy puppy..." I said imagining hugging little Akamaru with his cuteness.

"Why give him a nickname at all?" Kakashi asked.

"It was fun." I answered simply.

"You are weird." Sakura decided to inform us. I said nothing in response but then I looked up and noticed all the letters scrambling. That's not distracting no.

"So who is next oh, mighty television!" I call out to the TV acting like I really cared and was a part of the exam. Honestly I don't really care that much at this point. Too many fights, not enough kicking to the face. I mean this is what the eighth fight?

It was Hinata versus Neji. So everyone was like 'don't do it Hinata' and she was all like 'but I want to give it my best because I am not so secretly secretly in love with Naruto'. Then the match began but nothing happened. Seriously I think he was trying to win by talking her to death.

My attention span made the fight seem like this: Fate, blah, blah, blah, fate, destiny, Hyuuga, blah, blah...oh look something shiny. Wait haven't I learned not to follow the shiny things. But it is so shiny...I resisted the urge to go after the shiny, which was good because it turns out that the shiny was actually a figment of my imagination since I was bored. Then they finally fought. Neji beating Hinata up, Hinata not giving up, good feelings...the underdog must win...then Hinata lost and nearly died. Well that was unexpected.

"A dropout is a dropout." Neji said to Naruto as Naruto was worried over Hinata.

"No really? I thought a dropout was someone who completed something." I say rolling my eyes at him, "Luckily there are no dropouts here because if there was then they wouldn't be here would they. They would have left during the first exam or not even entered the forest of death."

"Or would be like you an quit before the preliminaries?" Neji asked annoyed that I had an argument against his ideas.

"Hey, I am proud to be a drop out. Dropping out is so cool you should try doing it. Oh wait you can't because I would much rather you lose."

"What makes you think I will lose?" Neji asked me.

"The fact that you just made at least five enemies and two of them are good with the fighting through hard ship and they are pros at being under dogs."

"I just said before that a dropout is a dropout."

"What you don't understand is that you just gave them a reason to train harder and become stronger, all because they want to beat you."

Then everyone called Neji an evil bastard, well not in those exact words but close enough, even though he was doing what he was told and following the rules and what not. He is a ninja people. No one found fault when Sasuke killed that one guy in the beginning. But when Temari and Neji do something similar they are all shocked and appalled. Ninjas really confuse me.

"Kit, I have a question for you."

"What, nice lady?"

"Isn't killing people without remorse part of what ninja do?" I ask curiously. All the ninja are now thinking about it and Neji is smirking at me.

"Yes." Itachi answered me since no one else was. This caused them to all look at him.

"Then why does everyone act shocked when a ninja does it?" I asked but no one had an answer. I look towards the TV and see it doing that scramble thing. "Oh look the TV wants to say something." I announce causing everyone to look at the TV. Right before the TV stopped I looked over at Gaara and saw him do a hand sign then go down to the arena before the TV even said anything.

"Rock Lee vs Gaara!" The TV said.

"Well that is an odd answer to my question." I say to the TV once again causing everyone to question my sanity. I mean they shouldn't be questioning it anymore they should know it wasn't there in the first place. Wait a minute... "Gaara is psychic!"

* * *

I was shocked by how many words I came up with to refer to the bathroom...How come my E-mail decided that story alert alerts were important but review alerts were junk mail? I want my review alerts!

* * *

Preview from next chapter: A battle...with Sand!

_"How can you cheer for such a creepy person?" Sakura asked quietly looking nervously at Gaara as if he might hear her from down there. Hey he might know already since he is psychic._

_"He gave me an umbrella." I answer simply._

_"That's where you really got it." Itachi growled at me._

_"Oops, I forgot that was a secret." I replied stepping slowly, and sneakily, away from Itachi._

_"Why did you lie to me?" Itachi asked angry._


	14. A battleWith sand!

I have midterms next week so my teachers all decided that I needed to write papers and do projects, because they're nice like that. This means that I didn't have much time to write, so for the first time ever, I made up the preview on the spot. So you guys don't get the wonderful actual piece of next week's chapter. I did, however, give you the chapter's name.

This chapter brought to you by: Not wanting to start to do your homework because that means that you will have to do it.

* * *

A battle...with Sand!

"Go psychic, and psychotic, Gaara" I shout the first part but mumble the second part then I resume cheering for the Gaara, "Boo evil green jumpsuits!" me shouting this caused Gaara to smirk up at me so I stopped cheering because the smirking still scares me.

"Why do you hate me so much?" Lee asked crying rivers of tears down his face I am sure.

"'It' the green blur is talking to me." I say moving to hide behind Itachi once more but never getting there.

"I will prove to you that I am a good ninja by defeating him, Yosh! Then you will cheer for me!" Lee informed me taking my hands in his as if making some important confession or promise.

"That's my student!" Gai said causing them to have a moment. I was ignoring them.

"When did I agree to that?" I ask but alas Lee had already joined Gaara in the Arena.

"How can you cheer for such a creepy person?" Sakura asked quietly looking nervously at Gaara as if he might hear her from down there. Hey he might know already since he is psychic.

"He gave me an umbrella." I answer simply.

"That's where you really got it." Itachi growled at me.

"Oops, I forgot that was a secret." I replied stepping slowly, and sneakily, away from Itachi.

"Why did you lie to me?" Itachi asked angry.

"I didn't want you to be angry with me because while I was disobeying your orders to stay put I wondered around and eventually found Gaara."

"Why would that make me angry?

"You would be jealous?" I ask stated.

"..." Itachi had no comeback.

"I'm going back to watching the cool sand battle that includes sand!" I exclaim turning away from him making sure that my umbrella was placed safely on the side away from Itachi. I look to see Lee try to kick Gaara in the face but fail because the sand protected him. It's so sad when the kick to the face fails. I look over ad Shino and see that he is eying my umbrella and probably remembering what Gaara did to the rain ninja. "I want a sand shield." I whine loud enough that Kankuro, who decided to have a chat with Naruto for some odd reason, could hear me.

"Evidence." Itachi mumbled.

"Hey who doesn't want a sand shield? You could just stand there in a cool pose and no one would be able to hurt you." I retort. Then I go back to watching the match. Gaara is just standing there, oh look he'd staring at me that's quite creepy, and Lee is flipping all over the place. Lee makes me dizzy just watching him.

"Lee take them off!" Gai said and then did the thumbs up. Wait what is he taking off, maybe he's going to change out of the green jumpsuit. Nope just taking off some really heavy weights, Gaara is just standing there. Now Lee is moving really fast and Gaara (and I) can't keep up. Oh I missed a kick to the face, well back of the head and somehow magically Gaara's cheek was cut. Now Gaara's Sand skin is falling off and he is grinning maniacally.

"'It'." I mutter then take shelter behind Itachi when Gaara looked away from Lee for a second and at me. Then Lee did his running in circles attack and I came out from behind Itachi to watch what I could see of the match. Another kick to the face! "Go kick to the face!" I shout causing Gai to talk to me.

"So you are a fan of Lee now? You see his youthfulness?" Gai asked me.

"Nope, but I am an avid fan of kicking to the face. Go kick to the face!" I say happily. Lee then wrapped Gaara up with his bandages, how does that work? I don't get it if he doesn't have chakra then how can he make the bandages move by themselves? More spinning. Then crash Gaara is down. "Gaara!" I shout shocked that he was taken down, and a bit worried also. Gaara's cracking, it was a fake out. Thank goodness the redheaded killing machine is alive and well, why does it sound so wrong when I put it that way.

"When did that happen?" Gai asked.

"When you clapped and closed your eyes." Kakashi answered.

"Well that explains why he didn't know but why didn't I notice?" I ask no one in particular.

"It's because you suck as a ninja." Neji answered smirking. Why must everyone smirk at me? Is there a sign on my head that says smirk at this person?

"You're probably right." I agree startling Neji and making Gai and Kakashi laugh at my answer. I looked back to the fight and Gaara was eerily coming out of the ground all sand like. That's actually really creepy. Lee didn't dodge a sand punch because of his legs or something and then Gaara used giant wave of sand attack. Followed by sand smash and then...why did Gaara just lick his lips? Why is he looking at me now?

Oh good Itachi is moving in front of me, dare I say protectively? Allowing me to continue watching the fight but making sure that no sand was going to come snatch me away. Gaara then tried to hit Lee, Lee dodged painfully and then Gaara randomly stopped and stood up strait to start doing some hand signs. Why do I feel like there's a flashback here, oh wait there is. Skipping, unimportant, well it might be but not enough attention span for flashback-ing.

Gaara is now doing some creepy psycho look with odd breathing. Staring at Lee, and occasionally me but I am pretending that isn't happening. Sand claw attack, It's the claw! What's with the sad music all of the sudden? I was enjoying the cool battle music that has been playing this episode put it back on. No flashbacks for you. "Yes I mean you Gai." I say out loud.

"What did I do?" He asked confused.

"You were about to have a flashback." I answer him as if that is a normal thing to say to someone. Then I resumed watching. Swirly sand, oh my goodness Lee dodged. Maybe the underdog will win? Oh wait no it's only Naruto every other underdog in this anime has to loose. Hinata lost, Naruto won, according to pattern Lee has to loose. Aw...Gaara unhappy face, cue random shock. After that is done Gaara attacks lee with evil bunnies I mean sand yes sand. I will call this attack the Sand splash. Wait what is this feeling... "Gai what have I said about flashbacks?"

"Just one."

"No I don't want to." I whine childishly. "Has Lee lost yet."

"No." Replied Itachi who I was asking tugging on his sleeve for the answer.

"Lee will win because he is more youthful!"

"Isn't Gaara younger than Lee?" I ask causing Gai to stop mid youth speech.

"Well, that doesn't make him more youthful." Gai continued stubbornly.

"Doesn't it?" I say and he didn't have a retort so we went back to watching. Gaara used sand, amazing. Then Lee decided to use his magical anti-gravity attack. Well that's what it looked like anyway with the small pebbles floating up around him and all. Still don't get how he can do these things without chakra but letting it go. Once his hair finally moved an odd blue glow was released. "I knew it."

"What?" Sakura asked me since in everyone else's point of view I had just shouted something random, you'd think that they would be used to it by now. Gaara might know what I was thinking since he is psychic, or Itachi who I think can read minds.

"The blue glow stuff has to be chakra."

"No it's not." Gai argued.

"What is it then?"

"It's the not-chakra."

"Well that's specific, thank you for clearing that up."

"You're welcome."

"Sarcasm." I mutter but go back to watching, over Itachi's shoulder since I didn't want creepy looks to come my way. I think that Itachi is enjoying me cowering behind him a little too much. Oh great Lee is glowing green now. Another kick to the face this time with cool smoke. "Go kick to the face!" I shout out and no one even looks my way since this is what the third or fourth time I have yelled because of that. They only wondered how I knew it was a kick to the face with through all the smoke. How did I know? I'm going to pretend that it is a true 'kick to the face' fan thing.

Next thing I know Gaara is flying through the air getting beat up. How come all ninja's can fly? Even ones who don't have chakra, how does that work? Crazy eye ninja are cheating to be able to watch the match. So basically all I know is that Gaara went up but he hasn't come down and he looks like he's getting hurt. More stuff I can't see. The lizard moved! It's alive! Oh wait I am supposed to be watching a fight where I can't even tell what is going on. Remind me why I shouldn't watch the Lizard. I tune back into the fight just in time to see Gaara fall to the ground.

I lean over the railing to try and see through the smoke ignoring the fact that now I am not shielded by Itachi. "Gaara!" Both Kankuro and I said at the same time, right after Naruto said something about Lee winning.

"When did you get here?" I ask Kankuro.

"He's been here since the battle started." Kakashi explained to me.

"I guess he just was not important enough foe me to notice his presence." I say ignoring whatever Kankuro said in favor of watching to see if Gaara was hurt. It turns out Gaara was ok because his Gourd was made of sand and saved him. Then Gaara used that sand to capture Lee, well Lee's leg and arm anyway. Gaara then looked me directly in my eyes and smirked as he crushed Lee's arm and leg into oblivion. "Well that was creepy." I comment to Itachi not looking away from Gaara.

"Yes, it was." Sakura agreed. Then Gaara began to make his sand go kill Lee but Gai stopped it.

Gaara clutched his head and asked "Why?"

"He's..."

"No flashbacks."

"My important student."

Then Gaara began to walk away and announced that he quite but everyone ignored it because Gai made Lee lose. Why Gaara wanted to quite was a mystery but I like to think that it was because he was overwhelmed with the feelings of Gai and wanted to quit so that he could figure out his own feelings about stuff. In other words he wanted to know more about precious people, but then since he wasn't allowed to quit decided to figure it out while fighting. Then Lee stupidly got back up.

"Lee, play dead!" I called down to him. Then I find out that he is passed out but still standing. Sad music playing. Naruto and Gaara shared a look. Talking, I said no flashbacks! Gaara for some odd reason stays in the arena to watch them carry Lee out on a stretcher. After a long clean up process we were finally able to see the TV scramble once more. I wonder who is fighting. Considering that there are only two people left I would guess them.

"Dosu versus Chouji!" The TV stated uselessly.

"Fatty!" Ino called out to cheer on her teammate.

"Fatty, Fatty, Fat Fat!" I called trying to help. Chouji of course got pissed at the both of us. I am so helpful. Then Dosu called Chouji Mr. Fatty and Chouji got angry with him instead of us. Chouji used his 'becoming a better door than a window' technique, oh wait it's not called that at all. So he basically became a giant Chouji ball. So the Chouji ball decided to try to flatten Dosu, whom I just noticed looks like a mummified hunchback, so Dosu hopped out of the way.

Let's take a moment to think about Dosu's hopping. Maybe he is a mummified hunchbacked grasshopper. He did not however hop cutely like a bunny. He was all like hop hop hop, hop in front of the wall than hop away. This caused the Chouji ball to get stuck in the wall. Then Dosu used a sound attack, which functioned much like a tuning fork, to cause the Chouji ball to fail. Chouji is not a fatty, fatty, fat, fat, failure, such a sad existence.

"That ends the preliminaries." sickly proctor guy announced.

"Finally. I am hungry." I shout down at him causing him to glare a bit at me.

"You could have left any time." He pointed out to me.

"I could have?"

"Yes, since you aren't a part of the exams since you quit."

"You could have told me sooner." I mutter pouting since I could be eating something right then. I decide to leave but Itachi's hand on my arm stops me.

"Information." Was the only thing he said to me.

"But--

"Gathering." He interrupted my excuses. Sheesh when did he stop talking in complete sentences.

"Fine." I say pouting and deciding to sit on the floor since I was really tired of standing all that time. I guess I would have to stay until they were finished, dang it.

* * *

That's it for this week. Well here's the crappy preview because I have too much homework, and for me to say that is something. I will try to find time to write the chapter, so at least I will continue updating.

* * *

Preview from next chapter: Visiting the Sickies

Stuff happens then they visit people in the hospital and Silver haired people fight over who has better hair


	15. Visiting the Sickies

I have come to the logical conclusion that the chapter before this one received no reviews because of the crappy Preview. There is no other reason that I can think of (because the chapter itself being crappy is impossible) for not getting any for that chapter. So I give you a chapter that includes a Preview that is not crappy.

This chapter brought to you by: Not wanting to study for midterms, you do many things instead. Plus who needs three whole days to study. (Probably me, I should go do that now...)

* * *

Visiting the Sickies

"'It' are you sure that I shouldn't go, what if you stay here and collect information and I go somewhere else and collect information." I whisper into his ear making sure that no one could hear us. Unfortunately that meant that I was talking directly into his ear and I think he enjoyed it a little too much.

"Fine, go." Itachi told me giving up on making me stay to witness a speech. I think that he secretly knew that I wouldn't stop bothering him until I got to leave. I also have a tendency to distract the people giving speeches and then the speech actually takes longer. Maybe his decision was the best idea for all parties. I don't really care if it was or not, all I know is that I got to leave.

"Bye all see ya later." I announce waving to Gaara and Naruto down in the arena and then saying bye to Kakashi.

"Well now that Akira is gone there's no need for me being here," Kakashi muttered and then turned to Sakura and said, "Tell me what happens." then he went poof.

* * *

True to the luck of myself, which means very little luck but I do have a tendency of being where stuff happens, I exited the arena only to walk in on a conversation between Orochimaru and Kabuto. I heard something about Naruto being an influence to Sasuke and that Orochimaru wants to dye Sasuke his color. What color is that exactly? Sasuke is already pale. Ew he did the creepy tongue thing.

Then Orochimaru said that if Kabuto wants to stop him, who knows why he would, then he has to kill Sasuke now. Okay, maybe I should stop eavesdropping and visit Sasuke. Because my presence there will make everything better. Yeah let's go with that. Actually the real reason is that I don't want to see Orochimaru's tongue anymore.

* * *

I don't know why I thought that I could make it to the hospital place and Sasuke before Kabuto, but at the time it seemed logical. Now I realize that I am not a ninja, thus no running really fast with chakra, and Kabuto is a ninja so logically he will get there first. As I am going Kakashi stops next to me and says 'Yo!'.

"Hey Kakashi I was just going to visit Sasuke care to take me?" I ask giving him the puppy dog eyes.

"Of course I will take you." He answered grabbing me about the waist. I forgot he was a pervert, dang it.

"No molestation." I warn him.

"But--

"None." I answer and then we both poof to the hospital. We arrive there in time to stop Kabuto from using a scalpel to kill Sasuke.

"Very nice Kakashi-san, hello again Akira." Kabuto says with a smirk after Kakashi confiscated the scalpel.

"If you really wanted him to die, why use a scalpel?" I wonder out loud causing Kabuto to shrug his shoulders. Then the two of them started to talk as if I wasn't there. Bantering back and forth, something about Kakashi being lowly and Kabuto being better than him. Then a short staring contest.

"Your name is Kabuto isn't it?"

"Wait, you guys just had a conversation and neither of you introduced yourselves, how rude." I state causing both men to look at me weird. "Fine get back to your talk, that doesn't include me." I pout.

"How did Kimimaro put up with you?" Kabuto wondered causing Kakashi to look over at me in question about my relationship with Kabuto.

"Not very well. But he liked my soup." I answer ignoring the looks that Kakashi is sending me. Then there was more talking. Oh wait they are getting ready to fight, since Kakashi has a kunai out now, I guess I will pay attention.

"Please don't act so bossy." Kabuto stated pulling out a slightly cooler looking kunai, it curves.

"You know I know why the two of you don't get along." I announce randomly.

"Why is that?" Kabuto humors me.

"Both your names start with K, for starters."

"What does that have to do with not getting along?" Kakashi asks.

"I don't know you guys are the ones about to fight, you tell me."

"What are the other reasons?" Kabuto asks picking up on the fact I said for starters.

"Both of you have silver hair. Before you say anything this one I do know why that would make the two of you fight."

"And?" Kabuto asked impatiently.

"Because you are fighting over who's hair is cooler." I explain as if the reason was the most obvious conclusion to come to in the world.

"Let's just get back to the fight." Kabuto suggests beginning to ignore me once more.

"Fine, pretend I'm not here. This is why I don't like you." I pout then glare at Kabuto. Then they get back to fighting, Kabuto threatens Sasuke, Kakashi uses ultra cool random speed to stop him. Then one of the dead Anbu members gets up and starts running. "Oh noes, zombie!" I shout pointing at it.

"It's Kabuto." The other Kakashi explains to me as he traps Anbu Kabuto between two Kakashi's. Then a zombie, I mean Kabuto, jumps out the window.

"You know this beeping machine is really annoying." I announce, "I think I will wander around. Thanks for taking me to visit Sasuke."

"Wait, how did Kabuto know you?"

"Well, you see..." I begin but don't know how much to tell him, but I refuse to lie out right.

"Akira."

"Fine, I was a slave at Orochimaru's hide out for a little while."

"So you could tell us where it is?" Kakashi asks.

"Nope, I was lost when I found it and when I was saved I wasn't really paying attention to the directions, sorry." I answer completely honest.

"Do you know what he is planning?"

"Perhaps."

"Why--

"Akira." Kisame interrupted saving me from having to answer any more questions.

"Kiss."

"'It' told me to keep an eye out for you, since you get in trouble so easily. Seems like I was late." He said looking at the dead bodies and broken window. I just realized how suspicious that looks.

"In my defense the people were dead before I got here." I remark staring at the bodies. "And I definitely had nothing to do with the zomies."

"Zombies?" Kisame asked me confused.

"That was Kabuto,"Kakashi reminded me.

"Anyway, let's go." Kisame decided to announce so that this silly conversation would end.

"Okay fine, bye bathrobe towel merchant." I say waving to him as I follow Kisame. We pass by Naruto on the way so I stop to chat, much to Kisame's displeasure.

"Hey, nice lady, Kiss!" Naruto greeted me enthusiastically.

"Hello, kit." I greet back.

"Hi." Kisame grumbles annoyed that he is a part of the conversation.

"Why are you here?" He asks and Kakashi appears.

"I took her here." Kakashi answers saving me from having to make something up.

"Yeah, what he said."

"Kakashi-sensei, train me!"

"Nope too busy." Kakashi answered beginning to take out his book, lazy pervert.

"Let me guess training Sasuke?" Naruto pouted somehow figuring that out even though he's supposed to be stupid.

"Hey Akira," Kisame whispered to me.

"Yes?"

"Isn't he supposed to be really stupid?"

"Yes."

"Then how did he figure that out?"

"I'm not so sure." I answer and then the conversation continues where it left off, as if Kisame and I didn't have a conversation at all. I guess we stopped time to talk, that is so cool.

"Don't be angry I got you a replacement, who is much better." Kakashi assured Naruto.

"Somehow we don't believe you." I mutter.

"It's the closet pervert!" Naruto exclaims upon seeing the man, who showed up conveniently right when we were talking about him. Oh no, he's stalking us. That's the only possibility. He must have surveillance and listen to all our conversations he must know about Steve...Ok maybe there's some other reason because suddenly that one seems a little far fetched.

"How rude." the closet pervert mutters pushing up his sunglasses.

"Sunglasses look much better on Shino." I announce causing Naruto to laugh and the closet pervert to glare at me. "What? It's true. Plus Shino has bugs, like Steve."

"Steve?" Ebisu asked pushing his glasses up in an attempt to look cool.

"Have you guys noticed that there is a random old man sitting on that bench." I ask randomly just noticing him.

"I have a reason to be here you know." The old man told me, not leaving the bench.

"You do?" I ask him now completely ignoring Naruto and them.

"Yes I do."

"What is it?"

"I um..."

"We're listening."

"Fine I have no reason to be here, but I enjoy people talking to me and the nurses keep asking if I am okay..."

"So basically you sit there for attention."

"Yes."

"Poor unloved old man." I say walking over to him and giving him a sympathy hug.

"Will you be my granddaughter?" The old man asked giving me old man version of the puppy dog eyes.

"Grandpa!" I exclaimed happily hugging him once more crying slightly.

"What the heck, Akira, you can't just make that random old guy your grandfather." Kisame ruined our happy family reunion.

"Fine I will call him Pop."

"No."

"Then Opa?"

"Um...what?"

"But he's so needy, look at him with his cane and his oldness. He needs a random granddaughter to brighten up his day of sitting on a bench in the hospital."

"Yes I need a granddaughter!" The old man tried to convince Kisame that he needed me. "Then she can visit me and I can talk to her about the old days when I did things..."

"Yeah I need to listen to random stories about stuff that I know nothing about." I announce.

"Fine, but I am going to go tell 'It' now." Kisame said walking out of the hospital.

* * *

I continued talking to my grandfather, not noticing when Kakashi Naruto and Ebisu left, until Itachi came. Grandfather was in the middle of a story about how when he was a boy he had to walk up hill both ways through a blizzard to get ice cream and there was only vanilla.

"Akira, that is not your grandfather." Itachi told me once he got to the hospital.

"Well I know he's not my real grandfather, since he's dead and all, but I like him. Can I keep him 'It', please?"

"How would you keep him?"

"Well I would visit him every so often and join him on this bench..."

"Fine, but we need to leave now."

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

"Great reason. Bye Grandpa! See you when I can!" I reply as Itachi decides to carry me out of the hospital since it seemed easier to him them actually explaining things to me.

"I'll be here." The lonely old man replied sadly.

* * *

"So we are going to the hot spring, why?" I ask as Itachi, Kisame, and I stand outside the entrance to a hot spring.

"We are going to keep an eye on Naruto and you are going to do something else."

"So why can't I be hanging out with my grandfather?" I ask making Kisame laugh and Itachi glare through his disguise.

"Because I said so." Itachi answered.

"You reasoning is great today isn't it?"

"Just go take a bath already." Itachi said with a sigh.

"One would think that either I stink or you are a pervert."

"Why would anything I just said make me a pervert?"

"Well you are so insistent that I take a bath, you could be hoping to spy on me. Or maybe you are already imagining me naked in a hot spring surrounded by other hot women..."

"Shut up and go."

"Bye 'It' and tell Kiss to clean up his nosebleed." I announce and wave. I actually secretly want to take a bath in the hot spring, it's just too much fun to tease Itachi and Kisame.

* * *

I was watching episode 52 of Naruto and saw this random old guy with a cane sitting on a bench in the hospital near where Kakashi and Naruto are talking. No one else is around him and to me he looked like he was smiling. That's what spurred on part of this chapter, a little random but I am like that.

* * *

Preview from next Chapter: Perverts Peeking

_"Why are you here?" A slightly rude black haired girl asked._

_"I am Akira and I am here for the Chunin Exams as a sound ninja." I answered remembering to stick to my cover story. Itachi would kill me if he found out that our cover was blown because I decided to chat with some girls while bathing._

_"Oh, did you win?" The blond asked curiously._

_"No, we quit after the second exam." I answered unabashedly._


	16. Perverts Peeking

Hope you all like this chapter the plot is beginning to thicken...about time.

This chapter is brought to you by: The Image of Women in Literature...there is only so much you can listen to so old feminist lady talk about it until you zone off, or in my case start writing.

* * *

Perverts Peeking

I go into the hot spring, following Itachi's orders (to go take a bath, maybe I smelt weird...probably)and immediately start chatting with this group of girls about my age.

"Where are you from, we haven't seen you here before?" Girl with brown hair asked me.

"Are you a ninja?" Another girl asked who has blond hair.

"Why are you here?" A slightly rude black haired girl asked.

"I am Akira and I am here for the Chunin Exams as a sound ninja." I answered remembering to stick to my cover story. Itachi would kill me if he found out that our cover was blown because I decided to chat with some girls while bathing.

"Oh, did you win?" The blond asked curiously.

"No, we quit after the second exam." I answered unabashedly.

"So are you going to stick around for a while?" The brunette asked.

"I don't know it depends on my team." I answer.

"Are you shy?" the black haired girl asked randomly.

"Why do you ask?"

"You are in the water with your towel still on."

"Well I was told once by my mother not to let anyone see my back." I answered honestly.

"Well we won't tell." The blond assured me.

"I suppose." I announce taking off my towel but sinking further into the water, but not sinking fast enough that my back wasn't visible for a bit.

"Is that a clan mark on your back?" The Brunette asked.

"Yea, I don't remember from which though." I answer but I had started to feel like I was being watched.

* * *

The Super Perverts Point of View (So that I can add to the plot)

Yes girls convince your friend to loose the towel...wait is that a clan mark? She confirmed it. It looked familiar I know what it is. It's the symbol for the Chishiki clan. I have to make sure before alerting anyone, but it definitely looked like it was.

* * *

Back to normal non super pervert point of view

I was happily chatting with the other girls when we heard someone that sounded oddly like Naruto say something about someone spying on the women's bath. That would explain the feeling of being watched that I had earlier. Unfortunately my new friends took this news badly and ran away.

"Hey Kit?" I yelled so that he could hear me without me having to go over to his side because that would be creepy.

"Nice lady?" Naruto called to me from the other side of the fence, unnecessarily raising his voice.

"Yeah, Kit, who was spying on me bathing?" I asked wanting to know who had seen me, so that I could tell Itachi and he would kill them. Actually knowing Itachi he probably wouldn't kill him right away but make him suffer first. Never mind, I'll deal with the pervert myself...less messy that way.

"Some perverted hermit, he has whi--

"Shut up kid." I heard him cut Naruto off.

"Hey perverted hermit, if we ever meet I owe you a kick in the shins and a smack to the back of your head. Oh and you owe me lunch, or dinner...Possibly both meals." I informed him then before going to change and find Itachi and Kisame once more. I decided to say bye to Naruto, "Hey Kit, good luck with training and I will see you around." Then I left the hot spring area to put on my clothes and get ready to leave.

* * *

"You guy are going back to headquarters to give leader information but you are leaving me here?" I ask wondering when they became incredibly stupid. Yes because every other time they have left me to my own devices it has ended so well.

"Yes." Itachi answered simply but I could tell that he did not want to leave me there.

"Leader said to write him your report and have us bring it to him. Actually he said that supposedly you had been writing information this entire time. Have you done that?" Kisame asked wondering how I could write information, or gather it for that matter, without either of them noticing. I'm sneaky what can I say.

"Fine." I inform him opening the drawer in the hotel room. Then I removed a piece of it and there were several odd pieces of paper in there. I folded it up and then put it in an envelope which I sealed with something I got from Itachi's bag. I give the envelope to Kisame and say "Then give this to leader."

"When?" Itachi asks looking at his bag curiously.

"Secret." I say smiling at their disbelieving faces. Just because I put the sealing stuff in Itachi's bag when he was distracted by leader then wrote on sheets of paper that I got from the bathhouses and then used sheets I had whenever they left me alone for several minutes...actually that is really sneaky on my part. I never realized my own brilliance, oh wait yes I did.

"I wonder how much you really know." Kisame told me giving me this strange thoughtful look.

"Me too," I answered him seriously then looked at Itachi once more, "How long do you think you will be?"

"We should be back before the Exams, if the leader doesn't have too many missions for us." Itachi answered me.

"Well have fun." I say sitting down on the bed wondering if I should steal Itachi's wallet before he leaves so that I have enough food money. I need my Sammiches and Ramen, for the mission. Yeah for the mission, mission expenses I say.

"Here's food and other expense money, the hotel is booked and paid for until after the third exam so you should have enough there." Itachi pointed out.

"Why is it in your wallet?" I ask looking at the money he gave me conveniently located in his wallet.

"You were thinking about stealing it weren't you."

"I swear you read minds." I mutter causing Kisame to laugh at the two of us.

"Are you going to walk us to the gates to say bye?" Itachi asked as Kisame laughed.

"Sure." I agreed. Wait isn't it night time? Itachi wants me to walk him to the gate then by the time I get back here it will be really late. Yes guys lets make the girl with no fighting ability walk in a ninja village by herself at night, with no one else, all by herself, utterly alone. Brilliance guys brilliance. Although I didn't voice any of this since I wanted to take a walk anyway.

"Let's go." Itachi said once his and Kisame's masks were firmly in place and their stuff all packed.

* * *

Once we reached the gate Itachi told Kisame to go on ahead for a bit. "Remember not to get too close to dangerous ninja and stay out of trouble." Itachi warned me from behind his mask.

"I think it's a bit late for that one." I answer back.

"Leader insisted that I go..." Itachi said but then trailed off.

"I know. It's okay I'll be fine, I'll even promise you to try and stay out of trouble. But you better be back here by the chunin exams or else I will die." I tell him seriously.

"I know."

"Especially since to them I am a sound ninja, they won't hesitate to kill me after the attack starts." I tell him whispering directly in his ear.

"I'll be back soon." He whispered back then took my chin causing me to look at him and partially removed his mask. Then he leaned forward and before I knew what was going on, apparently I am slow, he kissed me on the lips. Then like the evil man he is he suddenly stopped the kiss let go and left. I'm not kidding he just smirked at me then turned and left me standing there like an idiot. I mean yes we sleep in the same bed and he hugs me and carries me places and is oddly possessive, but he has never kissed me before. Then he leaves? What crap is that? So now the guard people are looking at me weirdly and I am just standing there.

"Hey girl, you should go before it gets too dark, unless you are going to stand there until your boyfriend comes back." One of the guards snickered to me.

"Bye guard dudes." I say as I leave to go back to the hotel and think there--where there are no guards randomly watching me stand in the middle of the road like an idiot at night.

As I was walking back to my hotel I notice someone on a roof. Oh look Dosu. Oh look Gaara. Oh look death. Oh crap he saw me. Apparently I fail at not finding trouble since I found it within an hour of being told to stay out of it. Now Gaara has me in his sand and is making me go to the roof.

"Hi Gaara." I greet him trying to sound happy but failing.

"Akira." Gaara muttered.

"I'm sure Dosu deserved that, but um can you let me go now?" I ask nervously since his sand was moving around me as it held me, a very creepy sensation might I add.

"Did you see?" Gaara asked not breaking eye contact with me, still in his sand.

"You kill Dosu?" I ask.

"No my other self."

"Oh you mean the demon, yeah." I answer as if it was no big deal that I had seen it, which it was (not a big deal) since I knew he has the Shukaku sealed in him. I read it before and there were pictures.

"You aren't scared?" He asked me getting closer and making the sand tighten so that I wince in slight pain.

"How I see it is I have the same chance of being killed as all my other dealings with you, just now I know how easy it will be for you to accomplish it." I answered him semi-truthfully.

"But I am a monster."

"Personally I disagree, but you have to admit that even when I was feeding you pancakes you had the demon in you. So I don't see how my odds change now that I completely know my plight." I answer calmly, apparently I got used to the sand. Although a shower is definitely going to happen when I get back the the hotel. The sand gets everywhere and I do mean everywhere.

"You are strange." He muttered putting me down on the roof next to him letting the sand release me.

"You just noticed this?"

"No." He admits.

"Besides I get told that all the time, does not phase me if that was meant as an insult. If it was meant as a compliment I take it to heart and will put it in my self esteem collection." I inform him smiling as if we are just friends chatting and not one psychopath and his caught prey sitting on a roof. I suddenly had the days events start to effect me and became drowsy. I yawned several times making Gaara stare at me every time I made a little noise.

"Are you tired?" He asked.

"Yes, do you think you could either take me to my hotel room or at least let me down off this roof so that I can sleep?" I ask barely keeping my eyes from closing.

"No." He answered stubbornly, "You can sleep here."

"On a roof? I'll fall off." I argued tiredly.

"I won't let you."

"No pillow." I complained.

"Fine, I will take you to your hotel room."

"Thank you Gaara." I muttered as Gaara made the sand pick me up and we traveled to the hotel.

"What room?"

"276." I said then handed him the key since his hand was out wanting it, and I was still in the sand. He made the sand put me on the bed and I closed the door to the bedroom on him so that I could change into pajamas. Once I did I opened the door to see if he was still there. I didn't see him so I assumed he left so then I went under the covers and was almost immediately asleep.

* * *

Wow an Itachi moment and Gaara moment all within one chapter. Why do people keep leaving Akira alone? Don't they realize that is dangerous? Oh yes, the plot...

I started writing a new story, it's a Naruto and Bleach fairytale(s) series. The first chapter is up which is Snow White. Gaara (sad panda) is the prince and Itachi is a dwarf, so if you also like Bleach (and my humor) you will like this story. (see profile for more information)

* * *

Preview from next chapter: Secrets Revealed!

_"Were you there all night?" I ask nervously, I mean I could have said strange things in my sleep. I do sleep talk a lot. In response he merely nods affirmative. "Well you should have gone home." I chastise him and he shrugs nearly imperceptibly. "Would you like breakfast?" _

_"Yes," He replies for the first time that morning with a word._

_"Well after I take a shower," because for some odd reason there is sand on me... "Then I can make us something."_

_"Pancakes." Gaara demands then walks into the other room to give me privacy. Seems like I got a replacement Itachi with the demanding food attitude. Oh well, better than cooking just for myself._


	17. Secrets Revealed!

Hello all, nothing much to say other than keep up the reviewing so that I keep up the will to write these even though I should be studying or doing school work. I love you all today (maybe not tomorrow but for today yes).

This chapter brought to you by: Ultra-fast test taking skills. I was in the first five to finish my midterm and that got me home in time to write most of this chapter.

* * *

Secrets Revealed!

I woke up, as so many of these chapters start out with, the next morning immediately feeling like I was being watched. I roll over, expected Itachi to be on the right side of me but then I remember that he is gone for now. I open my eyes to see Gaara staring at me. Well isn't that creepy. I guess he didn't go home last night.

"Were you there all night?" I ask nervously, I mean I could have said strange things in my sleep. I do sleep talk a lot. In response he merely nods affirmative. "Well you should have gone home." I chastise him and he shrugs nearly imperceptibly. "Would you like breakfast?"

"Yes," He replies for the first time that morning with a word.

"Well after I take a shower," because for some odd reason there is sand on me... "Then I can make us something."

"Pancakes." Gaara demands then walks into the other room to give me privacy. Seems like I got a replacement Itachi with the demanding food attitude. Oh well, better than cooking just for myself.

* * *

Time skip (to move along the plot)

Almost a month has passed since Itachi and Kisame left me all alone. Gaara visits my hotel often, as if since he came in once he is allowed to for all eternity. Naruto is nowhere to be found so I appreciate Gaara being there no matter how anti-social and creepy he may be. I am beginning to become nervous about Itachi and Kisame not making it before the exam. If they do not maybe I can hide behind Gaara during the whole attack Konoha thing. I decided, quite randomly, to take a walk to see what was going on in Konoha today. While I was walking I overheard someone talking about Naruto so I eavesdropped. I like eavesdropping it lets me know things.

"He arrived here three nights ago and has been asleep since." The Person's whose conversation I am listening to #1 said.

"Do you know what is wrong with him?" Person #2 asked.

"No, but good riddance."

"Too bad the little monster didn't die." At this point I got pissed off and threw a conveniently located rock at their heads. I being the wonderful ninja that I am (which I'm not) hit the sign way above their heads. I'm talking like at least a foot away from where I was aiming. This caused them to look at me and I just smiled and waved slowly backing away. Then I suddenly turned and ran away. This is how one should deal with all problems; slowly backing away and then running.

I decided to go see Naruto in the hospital; since he is passed out and all. I get to the hospital room that Naruto's in and see the oddly lazy ninja sitting there.

"Hello." I greet him. "I am here to see the Kit."

"Kit?" He asked.

"Yeah, that's what I call Naruto, Kit."

"As in baby fox?"

"Yes." I answer simply. "Do you mind if I join you waiting for him to wake up?"

"Nope."

"Okay." I said then minutes later the both of us were deep into a discussion about whether cloud watching or stargazing was a better pastime. Shikamaru says cloud watching and I say stargazing.

"Clouds are better because you don't loose sleep to watch them."

"But you could be doing so many things during the day instead of cloud watching, and stars are shiny."

"Clouds move."

"Stars twinkle." At this point Naruto woke up interrupting our conversation. Wow he can interrupt a conversation just by hie mere presence, that's got to be some form of skill. Oh it's not? Sad.

"Where am I?" He asks looking around. Then there was a long conversation about him loosing valuable training time. I wasn't listening until I heard there was fruit.

"What about fruit?" I ask looking at the basket that Shikamaru made appear out of nowhere.

"We are going to go eat them in front of Chouji because he can't."

"Why can't he?"

"He has a stomach ache because he ate too much BBQ."

"Well that seems mean, I think I will skip that although I want some fruit. What are you guys doing afterwards?" I ask stealing some grapes and an apple from the basket.

"Probably visiting Lee." Naruto informed me, not giving Shikamaru any say in the matter.

"I'll meet you there then, there's someone who I want to see." I say as I leave the room.

* * *

"Grandpa!" I shout gleefully as I see the man I decided was my relative sitting in his usual spot on the bench in the hospital.

"Granddaughter!" He shouted happily back to me getting up to pull me into a hug.

"Are you going to watch the Chunin exams?" I asked slightly worried for this old man that decided I was his family. I mean if he is there when Orochimaru attacks he might be killed in the confusion.

"No, an old man like me would just take up space since I can barely even see them move, those sneaky ninja."

"They are fast." I remarked realizing that I wasn't able to follow all of it myself and I would probably be bored once more with the fights. At least there are less of them.

"Are you?"

"Yes." I answer simply.

"Have fun." the old man said suddenly looking around himself.

"What's wrong?" I ask worried for the mans sanity, I mean he did randomly adopt me as his granddaughter—his head might not be right.

"There was this really scary sand ninja in here before, even _I_ could feel his killing intent. I hid under the bench until he left." He old man told me hiding under the bench to show me how he did it looking proud of his bench hiding under skills, seriously I wonder about this man's sanity not that I am the master of all things sane. Perhaps I should wonder about my own sanity before worrying about others.

"Did he have red hair?" I ask worried suddenly for the inhabitants of the hospital.

"Yes." the old man replied looking at her a bit wide eyed, "Do you know him?"

"Yes, but unfortunately that means that I need to go." I tell him smiling sadly at him.

"Well come back and visit some time." the old man says hugging me.

"I'll try." I inform him smiling a bit more.

* * *

I began searching for Gaara the really stupid way, aka looking in every room for him in no special order. After about the fifth room, where I disturbed a patient and a nurse yelled at me, I decided to think about it more logically. I could ask someone if they knew where he went, but he is a ninja so no one might have noticed him. I know, I will follow the silence. Okay that sounded odd even to me. I can listen and find the quietest place and he could be there...worth a try anyway.

Apparently listening to things was the way to go but not in the way I thought. Eventually I heard Naruto's voice through the halls and decided to follow it on a whim. Hey who knows maybe he can help me find Gaara, well the Kyuubi might have like Shukaku radar or something. I know, wishful thinking but that's how I roll...today...okay this five minutes...fine I don't roll at all.

I open the door to Lee's hospital room, which should have been my first choice of place to look for Gaara since I had promised to go there and Gaara had wanted to kill Lee, but I am not that smart. I look and saw Gaara just breaking out of Shikamaru's shadow holding jutsu. I saw the sand start to go towards Naruto and quickly run in front of him to protect him.

"Gaara." I announce my presence to him standing protectively in front of the shocked Naruto.

"Akira." Gaara muttered the sand hovering in the air inches from my face seemingly unsure about whether or not to attack me.

"I won't let you kill him." I announce surprisingly, I never saw it coming. Why did I say that? Oh yeah the mission, we can't get Kyuubi if Naruto's dead...yeah let's pretend that's why I helped him.

"Why?"

"Why what?" I ask, knowing what he meant but not wanting to answer unless I was sure.

"Why are you unafraid of death?"

"Like I have told you before I have just as much of a chance of being killed by you now as being killed by you later or earlier."

"How can you know what it is like to be a killer. I killed my own mother when I was born." Gaara announced causing some shock to go through the other two.

"So?"

"I am a killer."

"But you had no choice in that did you?"

"But I still killed her, you probably haven't killed anyone." Gaara spat suddenly angry at my supposed innocence.

"I have killed."

"Who?" Shikamaru asked forgetting that he was staying silent so that he would continue to be ignored by Gaara.

"My parents, both of them, when I was five." I began with my eyes closed remembering then I opened them back up my sorrow clearly shown in them and finished by saying, "I burned them."

"What!" Naruto exclaimed shocked at my revelation. Gaara simply stared at me a bit them gave a small nod in my direction.

"Why are you protecting him?" Gaara asked.

"Because he is my friend." I answer simply and to the point. Gai takes this moment to come in and say something about matches, I didn't listen because I was staring at Gaara because he was clutching his head in pain as the sand retreated back into his gourd. I went to walk forward but Gaara had started to walk out of the room so I stopped in my tracks until he looked right at me for a bit.

"I'll kill you guys for sure." Gaara promised Naruto and Shikamaru not looking at me for the first time that I came into the room.

"Naruto I'll join you for ramen later." I announce to Naruto going to follow Gaara.

"Akira, where are you going?" Shikamaru asked looked a bit worried for me but mostly looking curious about what I had revealed, "You aren't planning on following him?"

"You are far too smart for your own good." I told him as my answer.

"Why?" Naruto asked.

"You guys know of his past now right?" I ask them seeing them nod in answer, the three of us completely ignoring Gai. "That's why."

"But you heard him say he was going to kill us." Naruto argued.

"He said you, not me." I respond.

"He could have been referring to you." Shikamaru countered.

"Nah, he likes my cooking too much to kill me." I say as if that is the most logical reason in the world.

"Akira why did you protect me?" Naruto asked trying to change the topic and hopefully distract me from leaving after the red head.

"Like I told Gaara, because you are my friend." I tell him smiling at him. "I suppose it's too late to chase after him now anyway." Since he's a ninja and all he could be all the way to the other side of Konoha by now.

"Why didn't he kill you? How do you know him?" Shikamaru asked sticking with the easier questions before asking about my parents.

"Well I already answer the first one, my cooking, and the second question and answer is that we've met several times. He especially seems fond of pancakes."

"That's right you said something to one of your teammates about your umbrella being from him." Naruto remembered.

"Yup. What actually happened was that I was left by my team for a bit and wandered around. I came across Hinata's team and they were hiding in the bushes near Gaara and his team. Gaara had just killed the three rain ninja so I decided to go over there and get an umbrella which he handed to me. Then I went to go see my team again. Inside the tower we saw each other nearly every day and recently he's been stalking me." I told them using my usual dramatic gestures and sometimes acting parts out (I got the idea to do that from my fake grandfather).

"What do you mean stalking you?" Naruto asked.

"Well he knows where my apartment is, so sometimes I will wake up and he will be there staring at me. Also when I am walking through town I will occasionally see some sand and flashes of red here and there. Although now Temari and Kankuro are supposedly watching him. Occasionally I have dinner with the three of them."

"What?" Naruto asked shocked.

"Now that you mention it, it does seem a bit odd." I mention, "Oh well, maybe I should go visit my fake grandfather again."

"I'm not even going to ask it's too troublesome." Shikamaru muttered, not being able to understand my thought process at all. He also seemed a bit disappointed that he didn't get to ask about my parents but I guess he thought it was too troublesome to bring up.

"Yeah." Naruto agreed his head spinning with the details he just learned about.

* * *

Later that night I meet Naruto at the ramen place--a bit dejected because I could not find my fake grandfather anywhere, I even looked under the bench for him. I was happy to see Naruto happily eating the most stuffed bowl of ramen ever. I swear there was an entire crab in there—seriously, no joke. I ate my normal sized, and contented, ramen without having to talk about my past since Naruto wouldn't ask he would wait to be told I guess. Either that or he was too busy talking about how he is going to win the Exam and become Hokage and then everyone will like him and something about worship and bunnies. I think it was bunnies. Well he said bunnies now, because I said so. Later that night we separated and I took myself home and Naruto went to wherever it is he decided to go.

* * *

Will Itachi and Kisame come back before the exam? Will I be killed by a Konoha ninja? Will Gaara kill everything? Will Orochimaru's plans cause my untimely demise? Will there be pie? (Why am I putting these questions here?)

* * *

Preview from next chapter: The Beginning of the end?

_"You keeping an eye on Gaara today?" I ask beginning to put the pieces together in my head. That makes sense Temari's presence here would keep Gaara from going into my room the stare creepily at me. _

_"Yes, but he really wanted to come over here today for some reason." Temari informed me looking at me apologetically._

_"That's fine, there's nothing you could have done to stop him. I guess he is still wondering about our conversation we had yesterday in the hospital." I tell Temari but look over at Gaara for the last part._

_"What conversation?" Temari asked but then wished the entire subject wasn't brought up because Gaara's sand was now swirling around his feet._


	18. The beginning of the End?

Thank you all for reviewing. I actually don't have much to say here...I want dream pie, maybe I will go make one...

This chapter brought to you by: Tootsie roll pops, how many licks does it take to get to the center? Well I don't remember but I do know that every time we ask my sister to do it the price goes up.

* * *

Beginning of the end?

On the morning of the chunin exams I woke up early. I tried to go back to sleep but I couldn't. So I decided to get an early start. After taking my shower I went into the kitchen and discovered the fact that I had a uninvited, but expected, visitor.

"Good morning Gaara." I say causing him to nod his head at me slightly. At least this time he didn't stare at me while I slept, or if he did he left the room before I saw him. Maybe it was because the morning before that I finally got fed up with being creepily stared at first thing in the morning and threw the first thing that I found at him. This happened to be a pillow, which wouldn't have hurt even if it hit him, which the sand blocked. So it didn't really phase him but maybe he sensed my anger. Actually he might have thought that I just wanted to start a pillow fight but if that is the case then he is mean because he didn't participate in the Ultimate Pillow Fight.

"Oh good Akira, you're awake." Temari said coming into my hotel room suite thing that for some odd reason has a kitchen.

"You keeping an eye on Gaara today?" I ask beginning to put the pieces together in my head. It makes sense that Temari's presence here would keep Gaara from going into my room and staring creepily at me.

"Yes, but he really wanted to come over here today for some reason." Temari informed me looking at me apologetically.

"That's fine, there's nothing you could have done to stop him. I guess he is still wondering about our conversation we had yesterday in the hospital." I tell Temari but look over at Gaara for the last part.

"What conversation?" Temari asked but then wished the entire subject wasn't brought up because Gaara's sand was now swirling around his feet.

"Gaara, do you want pancakes today?" I ask hoping to get his mind off of the topic I stupidly brought up. Gaara's sand then went back into his gourd and he nodded at me in consent. So I decided to start making the pancakes while talking to Temari about any thing other than the conversation Gaara and I had in the hospital. Just to be safe the two of us also tried to stay away from anything similar to the topic of the conversation. I suppose Temari didn't start any conversation topics because she had no idea what the afore mentioned conversation was about.

* * *

Okay problem for right now is people missing. Naruto is missing, Kakashi is missing, Sasuke is missing, and most importantly Itachi and Kisame are missing. This means bad things for me. This means probable death. I would leave Konoha but that would be even more suspicious then going up to the Hokage and saying 'Sand is going to attack Konoha along with Sound. Oh you noticed that I have a sound headband, it's fake I swear.' That would go over well...not! I mean trying to leave Konoha now I would get strange looks from the guards and they would wonder why I was leaving during the exams when everyone is going to watch the matches. It would be like finding out there was a festival in five minutes and then deciding that you would leave and camp outside the place with no food and a yeti. How the yeti got there I don't know. All I know is that in order to keep the yeti from getting me I decided to calmly attend the exam.

I got myself a front row seat at the arena because I showed up with Gaara and Temari. Basically Gaara glared at someone until he ran away. Then I stole his seat and Temari went and threatened all the people around my seat not to take my seat from me. I like having scary friends that can threaten and kill people it gets me a better seat.

Oh good Naruto showed up, a bit late but at least he is here unlike someone...coughSasukecough. Oh wait both Uchiha's are no shows maybe it's an Uchiha thing? Oh wait Kisame and the bathrobe towel merchant aren't here either. So maybe it's an Uchiha thing to not be there and take someone with them? Yeah I'm going to go with that. Naruto joins the line of contestants in the arena.

"Go Steve!" I shout from my seat and then in a slightly less loud voice I shout, "Go Shino, and Naruto!...And Gaara and Temari and Shika! Well I guess I should cheer for Kankuro also, Go Kankuro! Wait that's almost everyone here I have an idea..." I say out loud even though though most of that should have been in my head. "Go Everyone but Neji! Boo Neji!"

Everyone, aka Gaara and me, get distracted by the Kazekage's entrance. I was looking because I knew it was Orochimaru and I hoped the Hokage got the note I left him in his hat. You know sometimes having no chakra is like being invisible to some ninja, or maybe they didn't care that someone who has no chakra was doing something to the Hokage's hat. Then there is the slight chance that I might be really sneaky. But most likely I probably am just lucky. Gaara was distracted because he wanted to give his father his best 'I will kill you bastard' stare or was it more of a 'your death is on my list of things to do today stare'? Personally I think that it was more of the first one.

The contestants that aren't Neji or Naruto leave the arena. I watch them to see where they go, so that I can bother them later. They all go up to a special booth type place, actually it reminds me of a hole in the wall for some reason, and they all stand there. Yes lets take the ninja who are going to fight today and stick them in a place where they will have to be close to one another. We definitely shouldn't give them their own area or have them join their friends. Nope we definitely need to shove them in a hole in the wall and keep them near one another especially since they are all enemies right now because of the exam.

The match started with Naruto making some wind blow around him and telling Neji to stop talking. "Yeah Naruto less talking more fighting, boo Neji and fate speeches!"

Then they finally announced that the match was beginning and everyone cheered. "Go Naruto, Kick to the face!" I shout hoping that Naruto will do just that since I enjoy the kicking to the face so much. Naruto apparently listened because the first hit landed on Neji was what? "Go kick to the face!" But unfortunately it did not actually hit and Neji actually dodged. "Failure to kick to the face!" I yelled out causing Sakura and Ino to look at me. "What? He failed didn't he. I'm just being honest."

"Don't you usually call Naruto kit?" Sakura called down to me, her seat was not as good as mine.

"I figured with this many people who are against him already it's best not to bring up reasons that cause people to hate him." I answer referring to the fact that if I call him kit then villager people will be reminded that he has the Kyuubi in him and thus hate him more.

"What?" Sakura asked confused.

"You will know in time." I said mysteriously, I am so cool. I looked back to the fight to see Neji spinning in the air and then he kicked one Naruto in the head and the other in the face. "Kick to the face! I mean um...go Naruto." But seriously spinning kick to the face is cool. Then Neji killed the coolness of the spinning kick by talking about fate. "Boo fate speech!"

Stuff happened and suddenly Neji had blocked Naruto's chakra. Then Neji took off his headband... "I reject flashbacks!" I shouted stopping the flashback from happening. I mean they're interesting and all but I know this information already so I want to skip it and get on with my life and get closer to the end of the matches. Wait if we continue then I will be closer to my demise since Itachi isn't here. "Never mind you can flashback." I announce but then mutter to myself, "But I won't pay attention."

Naruto then had to draw upon Kyuubi's chakra, cue swirly red chakra wind. I slipped and yelled out "Go Kit!" this caused all the older people to look at me shocked that I know about the Kyuubi. "I said go cat, yeah cat, because of the whiskers on his face...yeah, I'll shut up now." Then they fought evenly until there was a large explosion created by their chakras I think. They both fell into holes and Neji came out of his, and reminded me of a gofer. Neji went over to Naruto's body that was just sitting in a hole and stood there until, Naruto's hand came from the ground and...Punch to the face!

"Go Naruto, punch to the face!" then Naruto was announced as the winner and others cheered. Followers.

* * *

There was a long pause before the next match only to find out that they were allowing Sasuke and Gaara's match be postponed. Lucky Uchiha. So the proctor dude, Genma, announced the next battle; Shino versus Kankuro. "Go Steve!" I shout confusing everyone, as usual.

"I quit!" Kankuro announced.

"Just because my team did it in the prelims doesn't make quiting cool Kankuro. Poor Steve does not get to fight." I announced to him leaning over the rail so that I could see inside the booth, box, hole thing that all the contestants were in. Luckily the seat the Gaara and Temari secured for me was in the best spot where I can lean over and see the people who are going to compete.

"Akira, that's not the reason." Kankuro shouted back at me.

"Then you are a coward?" I ask completely messing with him and not serious.

"Go away."

"I don't wanna you can't make me." I counter.

To stop us both from fighting, and being idiots, Temari used her wind fan powers to create, guess what?, wind and then flew on her fan to the arena. The proctor didn't even have time to announce the match. Although there were signs posted everywhere saying what the matches are and in what order they still felt the need to announce the battles.

"Hey, the other one get down here!" The proctor announced.

"Yeah 'the other one' go down there." I tease.

"Go get her Shikamaru!" Naruto announced and then accidentally pushed Shika out of the hole box thing and he fell into the arena. He didn't even try to stop his fall he just accepted it and fell. As he was laying there people started to throw garbage at him because they really wanted to see Sasuke's match.

"Hey people enough with the garbage." I yelled at the people, "And was there a sale on bananas that I missed? I missed the banana sale!" this not only stopped everyone from throwing stuff at poor Shika but it also caused everyone to look at me weird. But I mean seriously there were tons of banana peels thrown at him.

"Thanks for the support." Temari yelled since I was cheering for Shika and not her.

"You weren't the one having garbage thrown at you." I yelled down at her. This confused the other spectators since they thought that I was a leaf supporter and here I was having a conversation with a sand ninja as if we were the best of friends. They will eventually figure out that it is best not to try to figure me out. I don't even get myself half the time. "I will cheer for both of you now."

"Can we get the battle started?" The proctor dude asked.

"You have my permission." I gave my permission regally sitting back into my front row seat.

"Thank you for allowing us to continue." The proctor said sarcastically joking with me.

"Your welcome." I called back.

* * *

Preview from next chapter: Still Alive...

_Temari eventually got bored and attacked Shikamaru. Shikamaru stood on two kunai that he put in the wall and then said something sexist but I was too busy in my own thoughts as usual. He must have really small feet to be able to balance on a kunai. Why didn't he just stand on the wall? Why has no one else thought of that yet? I wonder what Steve is doing? _


	19. Still Alive

I appreciate all reviews even if there are threats to my person if I do not continue writing, in fact I enjoy the threatening reviews since that means that you like the story so much that you would resort to threats to see it continue. (not that the story is stopping until it's done, I am too stubborn).

This chapter brought to you by: Veterans Day (whoot no school!) and eating too much candy. (Boo reading an entire book)

* * *

Still alive...

"Go Temari! Go fan, make wind, blow away stuff!" I cheer humoring Temari and then wanting to tease Shikamaru since he is still on the ground and stuff I said, "Go 'the other one'!"

Temari eventually got bored and attacked Shikamaru. Then Shikamaru stood on two kunai that he put in the wall and then said something sexist but I was too busy in my own thoughts as usual. He must have really small feet to be able to balance on a kunai. Why didn't he just stand on the wall? Why has no one else thought of that yet? I wonder what Steve is doing?

I'm hungry, why aren't there peanuts and crackerjacks? If I were Konoha village people I would be selling food here...to me. Wait, if I am the village person that I am speaking of then why would I be selling food to myself? Well now I confused myself. The point was that if I wanted money I'd sell food to hungry people. I look back at the fight after snapping out of my zoning to see Temari use her fan. How original of her, would have never guessed she would use her fan. Oh an Shikamaru countered with shadows...and they wonder why I get bored and do strange things.

Then Temari took out her fan and drew a line in the ground, maybe she is going to let Shikamaru have half of the arena. I wonder what she will make the punishment for crossing the line be? Oh she was marking how far his shadow goes, she had a purpose. I was beginning to wonder since what would claiming half of the arena do for you, but that was not the case.

Shikamaru then used some hand-sign-do-hickey. Everyone was all like what seal is that? And Azuma was like it's a habit. Then I was like "Its a circle! He made a circle."

"I don't think that's what he was doing." Some random person told me since my friends were all either fighting or in a weird hole-in-the-wall-box-seat-like-place.

"Triangles are structurally stronger." is my only response to random person number twelve. "but the circle fits into the square hole. So I guess it is more adaptable than the other blocks of wood."

"What are you talking about?" Confused person number five hundred and sixty two (he-she's number is so high because the entire stadium was confused by me before) questioned.

"You know that kids toy, which is secretly a test of intelligence in children...sneaky toy, that is basically a box with different shaped holes." I explain.

"Oh yeah those." Random follower number sixty two (the stadium is filled with followers who clap on command) said.

"So why would you put the circle in the square hole?" Mr. Smartypants asked. Okay fine that wasn't his name but I'm pretty sure that random follower number sixty two is not that other guys name either.

"Because it fit?" I question then think about it.

"But why would you even try it?"

"I was five? Here's a question for you Mr. Smartypants, why is the circle the only one that fits in more than one hole?"

"How should I know?"

"I dunno."

"This is ridiculous I am going to watch the match now."

"You do that." I agree going back to watching the fight myself. Stuff happened and then Shikamaru used a convenient hole in the ground to catch Temari in his shadow. Well that was smart.

"I lose, I give up." Shikamaru announced to everyone's surprise.

"Hey Shikamaru like I said before just because my team did it doesn't mean that quiting is cool." I announce then crack up laughing. I don't know why but I found everyone's response to him quitting utterly hilarious. Naruto jumped down and was yelling at Shikamaru about giving up. Then the crowd got rowdy because the match wasn't starting and there were rumors, so they were basically acting like spoiled kids with too much time on their hands.

I got bored and started to people watch and noticed that there was this row of men that all had on little hats. I stared at the little hat guys for a bit then was bored, although plotting ways of procuring one of them was fun. My personal favorite method was suddenly becoming a good ninja, or bribing one, to sneak over there and take the hat and replace it with a cup of tea. The one that was most likely to be able to happen and had the best chance of me getting the hat was me going over there tripping on nothing, which I have done plenty of times so I know what it looks like, and accidentally on purpose knock off a hat and then pick it up while saying sorry then suddenly run away really fast. Unfortunately that requires running so it was withdrawn from the possibilities. Maybe I should try to steal the fan that one of the hat guys has instead of the hat.

I saw Mr. I-whisper-in-the-Hokage's-ear whisper in the Hokage's ear. Then the Hokage and fake Kazekage had a conversation. Then Mr. I-whisper-in-the-Hokage's-ear went and whispered in Genma, the proctor's ear. Apparently his ninja skill is ear whispering. Naruto and Shikamaru were still standing there, well Shikamaru was standing Naruto was yelling and stuff.

* * *

Genma was just about to announce that it was past time for the match when there was a spiral of leaves which went away and revealed Kakashi and the late Uchiha. Since I was putting both Sasuke and Itachi in the same category I decided to look for Itachi. If they both were late because it was an Uchiha thing then them both being there would be an Uchiha thing. I know it's not very probable but hey, as I see it it's Itachi is here or death, so I want to cling to hope and life.

* * *

As I was going on my magical quest to find Itachi I just had to stop by the hat guys. They were making bets to see who would win. I giggled as I passed and I guess that caught their attention.

"Hey girl," one of the hat guys with a tail coming out of the hat said, "Who do you think will win?"

"I think that something will happen that causes neither of them to win." I answer will a smile.

"But if you were to pick one?" Hat-guy-with-a-tail-on-it and a fan asked me then giggled. Wait, he man giggled? Weirdo.

"I would pick Gaara."

"Why is that?" hat-guy-with-tail-minus-fan asked.

"Well Gaara has sand. Sasuke has anger. Gaara is all evil-demon-sand-death-ness. Sasuke is all Avenger! Now including sparkles," I told them my reasonings counting my reasons for Gaara winning on my left hand and reasons for Sasuke winning on my right. Although at the sparkles comment I did the jazz hands as if I could make sparkles by shaking my hands while they are open. "Oh Gaara has no eyebrows but Sasuke has duck-butt hair."

"So both are tied at two reasons according to you, so why did you say Gaara would win?" Fanhatguy asked.

"Oh well Gaara likes pancakes."

"What?" Nofanhatguy asked.

"Dose Sasuke like pancakes?" fanhatguy asked trying to figure out my reasonings, good luck with that buddy.

"I don't know I never fed him any."

"Have you fed them to Gaara?" Nofanhatguy asked.

"Yes and he enjoyed them greatly. If you'll excuse me I have a grand quest to complete." I said leaving them shocked, the best way to leave people if I do say so myself, and the skipped away.

* * *

I made my way over to where Sakura, Ino, and Chouji were.

"Akira aren't you afraid of someone stealing your seat?" Ino asked eying my seat which was magically still open.

"Nope, Temari scared the people too much for them to think about taking it."

"What are you talking about?" Sakura asked.

"You don't think that I got that seat by getting here early? Temari threatened everyone around me that if they stole it she would hurt them."

"But how did you get it in the first place?" some ninja in a robe and a crutch asked.

"You look familiar." I remark.

"It's Lee." Sakura informed me.

"Oh, good choice losing the jumpsuit." I said giving him a big happy smile.

"I would like to know the answer also." Gai interjected.

"Ah the evil green jumpsuit!" I say hiding behind the only person who was standing, which was Lee.

"Akira." Sakura said getting me back on track.

"Gaara glared at the person whose seat it was until he ran away. Never saw him again." I answer still hiding.

"Poor guy." Ino muttered.

"Well I am currently on a mighty quest to find my teammates who I have lost well more like they left me but same difference." I announce leaving them much the same way I left the random hat guys.

* * *

Pretty soon I found my way to a place that I have no clue where it is. It was a creepy gray place where everything is gray. The hallways were gray the stairs were gray. I saw two of the ninja that were by the hat guys, who oddly enough were wearing gray scarves, so I decided to walk that way. I noticed Naruto and Shikamaru were on the stairs I waved to them. I decided to go over to them instead. The three of us watched as Gaara killed the two of them. Shikamaru and Naruto were in shock so they didn't help the poor ninja who no one will remember about ever again unless they are talking about people Gaara killed, and I just knew better then to try to stop Gaara. I like life thank you.

Gaara walked to where I was standing near the stairs and whispered "Akira." as he passed but nothing else. Well that was odd. Although when he passed Naruto and Shikamaru, who were in shock so they didn't move, as if they weren't even there I realized he was really out of it.

"Apparently the assume Gaara is like a T-rex plan worked for you guys." I commented once I knew that Gaara was out of earshot. Don't want my Kit to die just because I wanted to talk.

"What?" Naruto asked.

"They have bad eyesight so if you don't move they can't see you."

"I actually get it." Shikamaru said once he was done with his shock attack.

"Scary isn't it." I said referring to the fact that he understood what I said.

"You know if those two guys weren't there you two would have died."

"What about you, nice lady?" Naruto asked.

"I wouldn't be killed he likes my pancakes too much."

"When did you feed him pancakes?" Shikamaru asked.

"This morning."

"What?" Naruto shouted in my ear, ow.

"Yeah when he broke into my apartment to stare creepily at me while I sleep, which was stopped by Temari." I answer as if it was a normal thing to do.

"Did this happen often?"

"Actually yes, especially since 'It' and Kiss are gone."

"Where are they?" Naruto asks curiously.

"Don't know they were supposed to be here. Actually I was looking for them but since it's probable hopeless then can I watch from the hole-in-the-wall-booth-box-place-thingie?" I ask hopeful.

"Too troublesome to say no." Shikamaru answered.

* * *

The match started when I was in the hole in the wall. I, of course, had to start off cheering.

"Go Gaara! Boo Sasuke's outfit. I mean really how do you get it on, no zippers, all one piece? Where does the shirt end and the pants begin? Oh and Sasuke since you were already late you couldn't have gotten a haircut, you look weird." I yelled at them and Gaara smirked at me and Sasuke ignored my existence.

* * *

People always looked at me weird when I put the round peg in the square hole. Why does the circle fit in the square? You'd think that they would fix that.

I feel evil because of the preview...Yay evil! Bwaha! (too lazy to completely evil laugh)

* * *

Preview from next chapter: Captured!

"_Oh crap sand!" I shout right before the sand covers me completely and I cover my head, and close my eyes in a poor attempt to save myself._


	20. Captured

Twenty chapters? Seriously! So long. It actually is a lot longer than it was in my head, probably because of the randomness that gets added. Thanks to all those who read and especially fake-non-existent cookies for all reviewers. :)

The part in _italics_ in the middle of the story are memories of Akira's past shown during unconsciousness.

This chapter brought to you by: Sheer stubbornness. Should be writing papers for class but did this first.

* * *

Captured!

The match started with the ultimate glare contest. Sasuke with his I-am-better-than-everyone-because-I-am-an-Uchiha glare and Gaara with his creepy-demon-bad-posture glare. I observed this from my spot next to Temari and Shino. Naruto and Shikamaru decided to have a chat on the staircase and miss part of the match. They probably forgot all about me. That makes me a little sad.

Sasuke threw pointy objects at Gaara and Gaara created a sand replication. "Gaara make a pony out of the sand next!"

"How will that help him win?" Temari asked me.

"You're right." I said realizing that a pony would not help him win against Sasuke's outfit. "Make a unicorn!"

"How is that batter?" Kankuro asked.

"It can stab things with its horn." I answer him.

"I think you still aren't getting the point." Temari said.

"Oh I know, Gaara make a dragon. That would be so cool. Then it could spit sand fire at people."

"You know that's not that bad of an idea..." Kankuro admitted.

"Idiots, just watch the match." Temari sighed.

So we watched the match. Gaara stood there, doing nothing, while Sasuke and Sandy (my new name for sand Gaara original I know) had an epic battle. Sasuke then showed off his newly acquired ultra speed of fastness.

"I get it now."

"What do you get?" Kankuro asked humoring.

"How Sasuke got so fast."

"How?"

"It's in the outfits. Super speed is a one-piece jumpsuit only move. Plus there's the added bonus of confusing people so much with how you get the outfit on that they might move slower."

"If you shut up or leave I will let you see Steve." Shino said startling everyone.

"Steve!" I shout then promptly shut up. Steve comes over and sits on my hand as the two of us go back to the stands to watch the match. I decide to walk back to where Lee and others are.

* * *

I look at the arena right before I get there as Gaara uses his Bubble-boy sand technique.

"Naruto!" I hear someone shout.

"Hey people." I greet them all.

"Akira you're back." Sakura notices.

"Yes. I annoyed Shino so he lent me Steve and told me to go away." I announce proudly.

"Hey bathrobe towel merchant, you wouldn't happen to have seen 'It' and Kiss where you were?"

"What do you mean?"

"I take that as a no. I wonder where they went." I ponder but then decide to walk back to my original seat because it has a better view, plus Naruto is being loud and saying things like stop the match and what not. I sit down right as Sasuke is trying to burst Gaara's sand bubble so the bubble fought back with spikes. Lots of flipping later Sasuke decides to stand on the wall of the arena, show off, and start to do something.

"You know Steve I've been able to see more of this match then I thought I would." I said looking at Steve who looked like he nodded to me.

Sasuke used his Chidori attack to burst Gaara's bubble. I felt like I was being watched so I looked around and noticed an ANBU watching me and well everyone. I shouldn't be suspicious since that is their job but since I know that there will be an attack that is probably a fake ANBU.

Gaara's bubble ate Sasuke's hand. Sasuke tried to get it out after Gaara said something about his blood. Gaara has a people eating bubble! I want a people eating bubble and a sand dragon. That would be so cool.

Sasuke finally regains his arm, false alarm on the sand bubble eating it I guess. Then this really big sand arm tried to grab Sasuke, coughShukakucough. Cue staring in shock at a small hole in the sand bubble. More staring. Staring. Then the bubble started cracking. Then it turned back into normal sand. Then guess what happened? Staring.

I started to feel a little tired. Oh look feathers. Then there was an explosion from where the Hokage's were. So it begins. I probably shouldn't touch the feathers. But they are pretty. No don't touch them, but they are shinny. Resist the urge. Oh they are gone now, no more temptation.

Wait if the battle mission Konoha's death thing is going on that means I am going to die. I look over at the Hokage's tower and see the four sound ninja create the evil-mime-box-of-fiery-death. I look back to where Gai and Kakashi are and they give me a look as if they are going to attack me, since I am a sound ninja and all. Luckily for me a group of fake ANBU got in their way.

"Kabuto." I announced blowing his cover and ruining his cool entrance that he was going to do later.

"Akira."

"Akira you are in league with them?" Sakura asked confused.

"I never said that."

"Where are your bodyguards, 'It' and Kiss?" Kabuto asked me ignoring the others for a second.

"Bodyguards?" Kakashi asked.

"Well they were guarding her from us taking her away earlier so yes bodyguards. Shouldn't they be here protecting you from the bad Konoha ninja that want to kill you and the bad Sound ninja that want to kidnap you?" Kabuto teased meanly, "Or did they leave you here to die?"

"Akira." Gai said sympathetically as I started to cry a little.

"They didn't leave me, they are just late. Like Kakashi." I defended and then stopped crying since I knew it would not help. Then I looked back at the arena where Temari, Kankuro, and Baki were trying to get Gaara to do something.

"Well Kimimaro will be happy." Kabuto says then gets ready to fight Kakashi and Gai.

Gaara was holding his head in pain and then he suddenly stopped and looked up at me. Temari looked at Gaara and then at where he was looking. Kankuro was too busy arguing with Baki about something.

"Oh crap sand!" I shout right before the sand covers me completely and I cover my head, and close my eyes in a poor attempt to save myself. I find myself in the middle of the ring next to Gaara.

"Gaara has used the last of his Chakra!" Temari announced.

"Temporarily get Gaara out of here and treat his wounds." Baki announced, including me in his orders.

"Who said I was going?" I asked wondering when I agreed to go with them. I was expecting Baki to answer but instead Gaara did by grabbing hold of the back of my shirt in a death grip. "Oh, Gaara did."

Kankuro got ready to carry Gaara away but since Gaara had my shirt it wasn't working too well.

"Gaara, Temari will make sure that Akira comes, but you need to let go of her shirt." Kankuro attempted to get Gaara to let go. For some odd reason he succeeded.

"I'm sorry Akira." Temari said right before she used her fan to knock me out and I guess carry me to where Gaara was going. I don't know, currently I'm unconscious.

* * *

_"It's strange that she doesn't have her book yet, most get it when they are infants." I overheard my father say to my mother one night when I was three. _

_"Maybe we should give her to some ninja family so that she wouldn't get involved in this family." My mother suggested._

_"What if she is just getting her book later than most? Putting her in a ninja family would make the situation worse." a voice I did not recognize interjected._

_"That would cause a big problem." father agreed._

_"She's so odd though, having so much Chakra." the voice pointed out._

_"She's gifted."my mother defended me._

* * *

_"I'll teach her ninja arts until she gets her book in exchange you have to supply my organization with information." An unknown scary looking ninja told my parents and I one day when I was four. "You know what will happen if her Chakra keeps leaking, it will attract more ninjas."_

_"Fine, we will help your organization and you will teach our daughter."_

_"Excellent. I will take her on a trip for one year to train, it would attract too much attention here."_

_"Fine, but if you don't return."_

_"How would I hide with your books you would find me easily it would be pointless."_

_"True."_

_"We have to make this official. A promise then."_

_"A promise?"_

_"Isn't it true that in your clan promises are binding?"_

_"Fine. We promise that if you train our daughter that someone from our clan will provide you with information."_

_"Not counting the little girl though." the ninja pointed out._

_"Yes not counting Akira." my father finished with a small burst of Chakra._

_"Come, girl, we will leave now."_

_"She is not ready, she hasn't packed anything." my mother pointed out._

_"I know, it's part of the training, you can't back down now." the ninja said laughing sinisterly._

* * *

_"Wow Akira you can perform all the hand signs, just like a ninja!" my older sister exclaimed in awe at my skills. "And things actually happen when you do them!"_

_"Can't everyone?"_

_"No, well some can when they are little. When we get our books we can't do them anymore unless our books are out."_

_"Den take out book."_

_"Unlike you most of us had very little skill at ninja arts even when our books were out."_

_"Me Special?"_

_"Yes, the good type."_

* * *

When I came to Naruto and Gaara were fighting, well more like Naruto and Shukaku. I could only stand there and watch as they both fell through the air, still attacking one another until finally they reached the tree line and I could see no more.

"Come on Akira we're going." Temari said appearing then allowing me on her back so that we could travel to the trees to where Gaara and Naruto fell. We arrived there at the same time as Kankuro and Sasuke.

"Don't fight them." Gaara said as Kankuro and Temari landed in front of him. I got off Temari's back and sat down next to him to see if he was okay. "Let's stop." he said and I smiled at him then noticed that Naruto was passed out over there. Yeah I know I am not that observant.

"Naruto!" I exclaimed rushing towards him only to be restrained by Sasuke. "Why?"

"You are a sound ninja, an enemy." Sasuke reminded me. Oh crap I forgot, where are 'It' and Kiss?

"Akira?" Temari asked wondering if they should fight to get me back.

"Take Gaara and go, two dead weights is too much." I announced knowing full well that it might mean my death.

"See ya." Temari said as she prepared to leave and Gaara looked one more at us before they were gone.

"You are now in custody." Sasuke announced to me.

"And you are having curse seal problems at the moment, Mr. Tattoo face."

* * *

We arrived where the Hokage was, dead. Wait he's dead? I left him a note. Sasuke immediately took me to Kakashi so that he could deal with me.

"I have captured a sound ninja." Sasuke announced as I looked around at the damage. I am so screwed.

"Stupid old man, why didn't he listen?"

"What are you talking about?" Kakashi asked.

"I left him a note warning him, but he didn't heed it."

"Why?"

"I didn't want him to die."

"You are officially a prisoner, you will be given a trial by the elders and they will determine what to do with you." Oh crap I'm gonna die.

* * *

Will Itachi ever return? Will Akira die? Like I'd tell.

* * *

Preview from next chapter: Perverts to the rescue!

_"Write on this piece of paper." An unknown ANBU member with a mask on said handing me some paper._

_"Write what?" I ask inspecting the paper to see if it is magical truth paper or something._

_"Anything. Make sure that you write enough so that we can analyze your handwriting."_

_"Oh okay, here I was thinking that it was magic truth paper."_

_"It would be nice if we had that."_

_"Wouldn't it." I said beginning to write on the paper to prove my innocence and avoid death. _


	21. Perverts to the rescue

Last week was my birthday and this week was finals so I didn't have time to write this story. I am sorry, so here's the update for this week. I might not be able to update next week either because next week I will be in NY. Sorry all.

This chapter brought to you by: Early finals...enough said.

* * *

Perverts to the rescue!

Akatsuki base before the attack on Konoha (because I felt like being nice and telling you what happened)

"Leader we must hurry back to Konoha so that Akira is not killed in the battle, we can not take a mission right now."

"You will accept this mission. I still do not trust that Akira is good enough to be a part of this organization so this will be her final test. If she can remain alive afterwards then she will be a full member and I will stop testing her. If not she will be dead so I won't have to worry about her anymore."

"You were the one that wanted to make her a member, she wanted to be a cook." Itachi pointed out to the leader. Thank you Itachi.

"I would have let her be a cook except for the fact that she knew things. It pisses me off that I do not know why she knows things or how."

"So basically you are testing her because you are annoyed because you can't figure out how she knows things?" Kisame asked since Itachi was too busy trying to glare a hole in the leader's head.

"Why are you both still here. You should not be questioning my orders, yyou should be out there doing them." The leader said angry.

"Yes leader." Kisame said leading the pissed off Uchiha out of the room.

"Hey Itachi Kisame, where's Akira?" Hidan asked noticing the lack of Akira.

"She is being tested by the leader again. We left her in Konoha." Kisame explained as Itachi continued walking to his room, completely ignoring Hidan's presence.

"What?"

"Yeah, Itachi is pissed."

"I noticed." Hidan remarked hearing the Uchiha slam his door even though they were far away from it.

* * *

Back in Konoha

"We have found evidence that Akira no family name is not a member of sound. In fact we have found the missing letters stating that there was only supposed to be one sound team in the exams." said a faint voice that I could barely here through the thin wall of the waiting room where they stuck me, tied to a chair, with like four ANBU guard people.

"So where is she from?"

"Did she know about the attack before hand?"

"There is also another factor we have to consider."

"What is that?"

"Where the note the Hokage received before the attack was from."

"If it was from her then she muse be on our side, since she was warning the Hokage about the attack."

"According to Sasuke she had a chance to leave with the sand ninja, and not be captured, but she chose not to."

"So she is not from sound and not from suna either."

"Kakashi has also given a report. It seems that she does know Orochimaru but was also running from him. He also stated that she seemed to have been a slave there at one time." Thank you Kakashi.

"Perhaps it is a case of an escaped slave."

"Then why did she enter the chunin exams?"

"Is also seemed oddly close to the sand's demon Gaara."

"What do you think we should do Jiraya?"

"I think we should see if it was her who left the Hokage a note."

"If it her was then I will offer to look after her." I might have just been saved by that super pervert.

* * *

The worst thing about being captured by a some ninja is that they lock you up in a room. This room is not interesting at all. It is the most boring room I have ever been in. there are no stains to stare at, no cracks in the wall, and no discoloring of any kind anywhere.

I heard them say something about testing me or something so that they could see if I was the one who left the Hokage the note, but no they forgot about me or something since I was taken to another, more boring room, instead.

"Write on this piece of paper." An unknown ANBU member with a mask on said handing me some paper. Where the crap did he come from?

"Write what?" I ask inspecting the paper to see if it is magical truth paper or something.

"Anything. Make sure that you write enough so that we can analyze your handwriting."

"Oh okay, here I was thinking that it was magic truth paper."

"It would be nice if we had that."

"Wouldn't it." I said beginning to write on the paper to prove my innocence and avoid death.

* * *

This time they decided to bring me into the room while they decided my fate, how nice of them.

"Akira why did you warn the Hokage about the attack?" A old council member guy asked.

"I didn't want him to die, but he did anyway. Such a waste." I said thinking about how I could have slept instead of leave the note.

"How did you know about the attack?"

"I overheard Orochimaru and Kabuto's secret bathroom meeting."

"Bathroom meeting?"

"Yes, for some reason the two of them decided to discuss their evil plans in the men's bathroom during the preliminaries."

"Why were you in the men's bathroom?"

"It was closer."

"What?" An old female asked sounding oddly outraged that I had been using the men's room.

"It was eight steps farther away."

"Back to the issue at hand...Were you a sound ninja?"

"No. My team and I merely wore sound forehead protectors. In fact I am not a ninja at all."

"Why were you taking the Chunin Exams then?"

"I was just doing what I was told."

"By who."

"I'd prefer not to be killed so I am not going to answer that but I can say that we were not here to participate in the battle. In fact we weren't here to fight at all."

"How do we know you are not a ninja?"

"Well for one I have no chakra."

"Neither does Lee."

"Second reason I have no coordination, I walked into a wall on the way here." I said remembering that rude wall that got in my way. It came out of nowhere I swear.

"Is this true?"

"Yes." One of my ANBU escort informed them.

"What is your relationship with Orochimaru?"

"I was one of his subordinates' slaves for a while."

"How did you stop being his slave."

"I was saved by my teammate 'It'."

"Where are your teammates?"

"I haven't the faintest idea. I believe that they left me here to die." I said surprising myself by saying my fears out loud in such a factual manner.

"How did you get the note on the Hokage's hat?"

"I came into the office and taped it on the hat."

"How did you get in?"

"I went through the basement."

"There is an ANBU between there and the Hokage's office, how did you get past him?"

"That I don't know, do you know ANBU people?" I asked looking at the small group of ANBU.

"The one who was patrolling there that night is blind so he relies on chakra sensing to find intruders. Unless they have absolutely no visible chakra he can find them."

"So Lee and Akira would have no trouble?"

"No Lee has some chakra, its just not accessible. Akira however has none whatsoever she might as well be a rock."

"I want to be a rock." I blurted out before I could stop myself. Not that I usually stop myself. Maybe I was out of practice stopping myself. That must be why I blurted some strange thing in the middle of my sentencing, not because I am crazy.

The council members, and ANBU (since I have magical I know what your facial expression is behind the mask powers) stared at me strangely for a few minutes. Luckily the awkward staring was ended when Jiraya burst into the room and demanded to know what my sentence was. Thank you again pervert.

"We have decided to take you up on your offer. From now on you, Akira, will be under the watch of Jiraya. If he goes you go."

"What if he goes to a hot spring?" I ask remembering when I first met his voice. Well I didn't actually meet him, so when I met his voice seemed logical.

"Then you go too."

"But he's a super pervert."

"Would you rather die?"

"Hmm pervert or death, pervert or death?" I said weighing my options.

"I was actually thinking about going on a trip with Naruto to find Tsunade." Jiraya informed me hoping to tip the balance in the favor of pervert.

"Hmm Tsunade and Naruto...fine pervert it is. But if we do go to a hot spring I am using the girls side." I informed the council crossing my arms and glaring, which I have been told looks like a kicked puppy look. Apparently I fail at glaring. (could be because I am not actually angry but happy since...not dead!)

* * *

Jiraya took me with him to get Naruto so that we could tell him about our magical quest. We found him in the strangest place ever, the Ramen (capitalized because of flavor) stand. Sarcasm, Sarcasm, Sarcasm.

"Nice Lady, you're alive!" Naruto shouted excitedly at me.

"So are you!" I shouted back hugging him because I can.

"Akira is going to join us on our mission."

"A mission! What is it?"

"We are going to find Tsunade and convince her to become the next Hokage." Jiraya informed him.

"Why do I have to go on that mission?" Naruto whined.

"I will teach you a cool technique." Jiraya bribed.

"Okay, when do we leave?"

"Tomorrow."

* * *

The next day I was waiting with Jiraya for Naruto to come. I was zoning out and Jiraya was also, but his was more perverted and I had a feeling it involved me since he was zoning off in my general direction. I suddenly remembered something.

"Jiraya do you remember when we first met?" I asked sweetly.

"Yes." He said beginning to go into perverted fantasies, ew.

"Well then I owe you this." I said right when Naruto came to join us. Then I kicked Jiraya in the shins and hit him in the back of the head. I held out my arm and asked, "Where's my dinner or lunch?"

In response Naruto laughed hysterically and Jiraya stared at me shocked for a bit then said, "I will buy you dinner later."

"Okay." I said brightly smiling at him.

"Let's get going we are already behind schedule." Jiraya said, I think he was pouting.

"Yes, because we must keep our schedule to meet up with a person who we don't know where they are and they don't know we are coming."

"Yes." Jiraya said beginning to walk in his happy pervert way out of the gate of Konoha and onto the road.

* * *

While I was leaving Konoha:

"Hello Kakashi." Itachi said meeting Kakashi by some random lake.

"Uchiha Itachi."

* * *

So now everyone knows why Itachi and Kisame are not there, but they are coming! Evil leader trying to get Akira killed, it's like he's an evil criminal or something. Poor Akira is stuck with the super pervert and Naruto...

* * *

Preview from next chapter: Not Dead!

_"Why are you telling me this?" I asked nervously since that sounded like my clan._

_"Because you have their clan mark on your back."_

_"So that's the name of my clan."_

_"What happened to your family?" Jiraya asked intrigued. "Were they murdered?"_

_"It was a mass suicide._


	22. Not Dead!

Don't worry Gaara fans; he'll be back some chapter…But I am back! Early update...because I'm going shopping today.

This chapter brought to you by: the plot of the story. I finally got to this scene that has been in my head since the beginning. So when I got near it I couldn't stop until I wrote it down, even though I should have been sleeping.

* * *

Not Dead!

We reached this town village place and Naruto had already begun his training. I had taken a liking to wondering off for hours at a time, just like I would do with Itachi and Kisame. Neither of them really cared since they had their own things to think about, Naruto his training and Jiraya his research. One night while we were on the road after Naruto was asleep Jiraya decided to ask me a very interesting question.

"Akira, do you know what your family name is?"

"No I was young and lived with my clan so it would have been strange to have people refer to one another by their last names."

"Any visitors?"

"We hid, I believe, but there was one. He trained me for a bit."

"Trained you?"

"He taught me some ninja stuff."

"Like?"

"Hand signs, some jutsu, how to fight basically."

"When was that?"

"From when I was three to five. When I was five my family was eradicated."

"Have you heard of the Chishiki clan?"

"No."

"They were a very odd clan. They kept to themselves and tried to stay out of all matters involving, well anyone. They were gifted with a bloodline limit that allowed them to access a book that would tell them anything they asked it. Many shinobi nations tried to ally with them but the members would always refuse and go back to their hidden village. Many years ago, when you were about five or so, the entire clan was decimated one day. No one ever knew what happened."

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked nervously since that sounded like my clan.

"Because you have their clan mark on your back."

"So that's the name of my clan."

"What happened to your family?" Jiraya asked intrigued. "Were they murdered?"

"It was a mass suicide. Yes there were some that were murdered, mostly the children. The man that trained me had made a deal with my clan saying that if he trained me the clan would tell him what he wanted to know. It was only after the deal that my clan learned how evil the man truly was. Before that he had appeared to them as a nice fellow that they could trust. The exact wording of the deal, since I was there when it happened, was 'We promise that if you train our daughter that someone from our clan will provide you with information.' although I was left out of it for some reason."

"What do you mean left out?"

"They had decided on anyone in the clan other than me could fulfill the promise, since I did not have a book."

"Then what happened?"

"When I came back from the trip the man left and said he would be returning with another member of his organization to come and get a member of the clan so that the promise could be fulfilled. My clan, not wanting to be used for the rest of their lives, decided to die. All parents killed their children in order to ensure that the kids would not be enslaved and all the parents killed themselves and anyone who refused was killed by their friends."

"Where were you during all this?"

"I had been training and when I returned to my home I found my sister dead in the living room and my parents arguing over what to do with me. Since I was left out of the agreement it was not really necessary to kill me. When I walked in, crying over my sister's death, they decided to include me. My mother and father gave me their books and told me to burn them."

"Doesn't whatever happen to the book happen to the person."

"Yes, they asked me to burn the book so that I would kill them. I complied not realizing exactly what I was doing until my parents began to burn. My mother opened her arms to me and demanded a hug, as she was on fire. My mother wanted me to hug her and burn along with them. I jumped out of the window and ignored my mother's screams for me to come back and her screams of pain."

"Wow, so you don't have a book?"

"I didn't I do now though."

"Will you aid Konoha with it."

"I refuse to be used, but if I read something that effects the lives of Konoha's people then I would die of guilt if I didn't say something or warn someone."

"Like when you left the Hokage a note about Orochimaru."

"Yes."

"Can you help us find Tsunade?"

"Accessing my book is really noticeable since there is a chakra explosion when I call it." I inform him.

"Never mind I'm sure if we look through all the places with gambling we will find her."

"Good night then." I said lying down next to Naruto. Neither one of us noticed that Naruto had been awake the entire time.

* * *

We traveled to this one town and I got lost. I have a very short attention span, as I have mentioned before, so I had seen something pretty and looked at it. It wasn't my fault that Naruto and Jiraya kept walking. So I had to find them. Luckily Naruto's voice is really loud so it didn't take that long to find them again. Well I found Naruto, Jiraya was apparently going off to do research.

"Hey Kit." I said once I found him.

"Jiraya has left us alone, we have a hotel room though."

"Thanks for looking for me."

"No problem, Akira, umm, could we talk for a bit in the hotel room about something?"

"Sure." I answered following him in an odd silence to the hotel room. It must be some important conversation; I hope I don't shout random things in the middle of it. "What's bothering you Naruto?"

"You know what I am don't you? From the very beginning?"

"Oh, well yeah, that's why I called you Kit."

"Why don't you hate me?"

"Well as I see it you aren't the Kyuubi but Naruto. If anyone is a monster it is those that would mistreat a kid because of something that they had no control over."

"So you will never treat me differently?"

"Well not unless you give me a reason to."

"What do you mean a reason to?"

"Well you could change, then you wouldn't be the same."

"Like changing my ninja way?"

"That and perhaps change physically."

"What do you mean by that?"

"One day you might grow up and become a fox instead of a kit. Besides if you grow to be taller than me then I won't be able to do this to you anymore." I said messing with his hair.

"That might be a good thing." Naruto said expressing his dislike of me messing with his hair.

"What brought this conversation on?"

"I heard what you and Jiraya were talking about the other night." Naruto confessed scratching the back of his neck nervously.

"Oh, okay. Well you know my secret and I know yours I guess that's fair." I announce making him feel better, "I am going to go shower."

"Okay I will study this scroll the super pervert gave me."

"I hope it's not perverted."

"Me too."

* * *

As I was in the shower I wondered about the things all people wonder about in the shower—everything. I still can't figure out what caused Itachi and Kisame to leave me in Konoha unless they were forced to. I also wondered about the fact that if Steve lives in Shino then am I Shino's friend since I am Steve's friend? Is Shino like an apartment for his bugs? If so then being friends with Shino would be weird. I mean who is friends with their friend's house. I can see it now…

"Hey Akira how are you?"

"I am fine, but you are interrupting my conversation with my friend."

"Akira there's no one here but me, you're standing in front of my house."

"Your house is my friend."

"Does it talk back?"

"It might if you try. I mean you have been seriously neglecting it. No one has talked to it in ages."

"Did it tell you this?"

"No I'm psychic."

"Oh I was beginning to worry that we would have to call the nice young men in their clean white coats."

"To take me away?"

"Yes. Because no matter how long you talk to an inanimate object the moment it truly talks back is when you have to be crazy. Unless it's supposed to talk, like a phone."

So I was wondering normal stuff like that while I was showering. I also wondered whose hair was cooler Kakashi's or Kabuto's. I think Kakashi's because the color is better and its all sticking up and stuff. Kabuto just has his in a ponytail, which works for Itachi, but for some reason I just don't like it as much as Kakashi's crazy silver hair.

* * *

I came out of the bathroom fully dressed, hey there's a pervert out there somewhere. Unless he put cameras in the bathroom…Oh no I could have just supplied him with ample peeping material. Why didn't I think of that before I took a shower? Maybe I am just paranoid?

It's kind of loud outside the room. Maybe Naruto made some friends? I should let them have fun without my interference. That's what I decided until I heard lots of birds and the wall started crumbling. Maybe I should go out there and check out what's going on.

I open the door and find myself facing Kisame who had a chakra-less Naruto being held by Jiraya at the other end of the hall.

"Holy Shit Akira! Your alive!" Kisame exclaimed shocked and do I detect happiness? No Kisame is an evil criminal guy he couldn't be happy because I was alive, unless…the soup! Must be the soup.

"Akira?" Itachi asked stepping away from his little brother. Itachi saying my name cause me to look at him.

"Akira run!" Jiraya said but was too late since Itachi took the moment I was distracted by Jiraya and decided to pin me to the wall with his body. I sense molestation coming on.

I was too shocked by the fact that Itachi and Kisame were both there and the fact that Itachi had me pinned to a wall to realize what might happen to a person when they are pinned to a wall by Uchiha Itachi.

"Akira." He whispered in my ear causing me to snap back to the present and begin to wonder why I was pinned to a wall. I didn't have to wonder for too long since Itachi almost immediately kissed me. It was different than the first time since it seemed to be a needy kiss. During it he clutched to me as if he thought I had been lost to him. His sheer need for me made me momentarily forget that I was mad at him for leaving me to die. I was brought back to my senses when I heard him mutter 'not dead' over and over into my ear as he hugged me.

"Itachi, unhand her." Jiraya finally broke out of the spell that everyone seemed to be in just staring at mine and Itachi's moment; Kisame with some sick form of amusement, Jiraya in shock and slight perversion (ew), and Naruto in pure undisputed shock.

"Itachi mission remember."

"I know, come Akira." Itachi answered stepping away from me and motioning for me to follow him.

"Now wait a minute here. The both of you left me to die! I could have died! Then you come here after I miraculously survived because I did something I wasn't supposed to and kiss me. Then you expect me to just follow you back to the Akatsuki?" I asked startling Itachi and Kisame with my cold tone that I was using on them. Honestly they weren't the only ones startled. In fact the only person that wasn't startled was Sasuke who was passed out in the corner so he does not count anyway.

"Leader has informed us that if you are alive, which you clearly are, then you will truly be a full member of the Akatsuki and as such will remain a member until death."

"What? Wasn't I one before?"

"Well the leader was upset because you wouldn't tell him how you knew things, so he decided that you needed to be tested again." Itachi informed me.

"Yeah because stealing a ring from Orochimaru wasn't a good enough task."

"What?" Jiraya asked but we ignored him.

"I have decided that I am going to stay in Konoha, since you all left me to die." I announced not meeting Itachi's eyes.

"I will make you come with us." Itachi announced taking a step towards me.

"Akira don't move." Jiraya warned me right before he used his fog stomach jutsu thing. Now remember how I was just taking a shower before? Well who wears shoes after showering and getting ready for bed? Not me. So when he made the stomach appear I felt it with my bare feet.

"Ew! It's squishy!" I shouted jumping onto Itachi, who caught me eagerly, "Oh crap." I muttered as Itachi prepared to use his eye jutsu to burn a hole in the frog's stomach. I knew I wasn't going to get out of his grasp so I hid my face in his shoulder so the flames wouldn't get me.

* * *

And so Itachi returns. Will Akira forgive Itachi for leaving her to die? Will the leader get food poisoning? Will Akira's self proclaimed grandfather ever appear in the story again?

The scene I was referring to was the scene where Akira thinks that the frog stomach is gross and jumps into Itachi's arms that scene has amused me for several weeks now.

* * *

Preview from next chapter: Anger Management

_"What is my question?" Itachi asked looking down at me. Isn't that dangerous? I mean we are jumping/running through the trees here. Don't you have to watch where you go? Apparently not if you are Itachi. If it was me I might fly into a tree even if I was looking, just because I am good like that._

_"Is the reason you attacked Sasuke back there because of his outfit?" _

_"Yes. An Uchiha should not be wearing a one piece jumpsuit, no matter how black it is."_


	23. Anger Management

Merry Late Christmas! Happy Holidays! Happy Still Alive Day!

This chapter brought to you by: Not being able to go to sleep until at earliest 1 am, even after going to Universal.

* * *

Anger Management

I continued to ride safely tucked away in Itachi's arms until we reached a certain point where Kisame could no longer take my silence and Itachi's gloom. He had the gloom of impending doom aura since I was not talking to him, wuss.

"Akira," Kisame began talking to me but I refused to even look at him, "Itachi was completely against leaving you. The leader practically locked him in his room until after the exam was over. He was really affected by your death..."

"Kisame," Itachi growled out not looking at Kisame. I looked up, since he could not hide his face from me and noticed the was blushing slightly. I couldn't help it I laughed. It's not everyday that you see Uchiha Itachi blush because of something someone said, or even did.

"I have a question for each of you, after you answer it I will forgive you for leaving me for dead since it was the leaders orders."

"What is my question?" Kisame asked wondering what I might ask him.

"You were happy I wasn't dead for some reason what was it?" I asked him intrigued yet knowing it had something to do with my cooking.

"There were three reasons. One Itachi was really pissed at the leader and took it out on me. Two you are amusing, I never know where you might pop up or what you might know. Thirdly you make really good food."

"I knew it had something to do with food." I muttered completely unperturbed by the fact that I am still in Itachi's arms, I got used to it.

"What is my question?" Itachi asked looking down at me. Isn't that dangerous? I mean we are jumping/running through the trees here. Don't you have to watch where you go? Apparently not if you are Itachi. If it was me I might fly into a tree even if I was looking, just because I am good like that.

"Is the reason you attacked Sasuke back there because of his outfit?"

"Yes. An Uchiha should not be wearing a one piece jumpsuit, no matter how black it is."

"I am still wondering how he gets it on." I admit smiling up at Itachi having forgiven him. Kisame was jumping along behind us laughing.

"I don't even know why it is so horrid, yet it is." Itachi joked with me. Wow talk about shocking. He wasn't even smirking. Maybe the world is coming to an end?

"Agreed, and something is off with his hair..."

"He needs to cut it." Kisame interjected wanting in on this out of character Sasuke bashing because Kisame likes making fun of people, "I would have done it for him if he wasn't passed out."

"With Samehada?" I asked not noticing that he looked at me confused after I said it.

"How do you know the name of my sword?"

"You mentioned it?"

"No I didn't."

"Itachi told me?"

"I don't believe you."

"Why not?"

"The fact that you phased the Itachi telling you part as a question."

"Maybe I am psychic."

"I might have believed that if it was your first reason."

"Who gives their first reason for knowing something as being psychic?"

"Psychic people."

"Wow, that is good logic."

"Thank you."

"Hate to interrupt your lovely conversation but we are here." Itachi announced preparing to use his chakra to open the way into the base.

* * *

"Itachi, Kisame did you get the nine-tails?" the leader asked not turning around to look at us, which is why he did not notice I was there. Ninjas these days really suck at being ninja don't they. First there's Naruto with his orange, Lee with his nice guy...ness, Neji with his long fate speeches, all ninja with their long speeches, heck all ninja with their allowing their opponent to know where they are.

"Unfortunately he was being guarded by Jiraiya so we decided to wait until he is separated from him." Itachi answered as if that was the reason that the both of them came back.

"When do you think that will be?" The leader asked still not looking.

"Don't you have to seal the other demons before you have enough power to seal the nine-tales?" I asked annoyed with the leader not noticing me thing. Not to mention it was adding to my 'you tried to orchestrate my death' issue that I already had with the leader.

"Akira!" the leader exclaimed surprised finally turning to face the three of us.

"Before you say it: yes I am alive." I answered before he could say anything else."

"How did you survive?"

"Secret." I informed him grinning quite evilly. I was very proud of myself for the evilness of my grin that I gave him.

"This means that you are now a true member of the Akatsuki." the leader announced.

"How do I know that I am truly a member now? How do I know that the next time that I might need saving it might be another test?" I asked. I think that I used the word 'might' too many times in that sentence.

"This time you are truly a member I will tell you my name. It is Pain."

"I knew that. So you were prepared to let me die, why exactly?"

"To test your power."

"That's why I had to get Orochimaru's death germ infested ring." I pointed out trying to keep my calm.

"What?"

"Ignore the last part."

"Well then, it was because I was questioning your usefulness to Akatsuki because I thought it was a fluke that you got his ring."

"First of all I never wanted to join the Akatsuki, I wanted to be the cook. Second problem I have is that you doubted me. Thirdly I think that's not your only reason."

"Fine I also did it to try and find out how you know things."

"That does not even make sense. How is me getting killed in Konoha going to help you find out how I know things?"

"Not sure but that is my reason."

"Is that your finally reason?"

"Yes."

"So you were going to let me die, for those reasons?" I asked angrily stepping closer to the leader.

"Yes." He answered simply looking up at me from his chair.

"I hate you!" I shouted at him being filled with a sudden rush of chakra, scaring not only the other occupants of the room but myself and probably everyone else in the room, which caused all three guys to look at me. Fortunately for me and unfortunately for the leader I used the chakra to quickly run up to him and punch him in the face so hard, with chakra, that he flew across the room and hit the wall. I stood there for a bit then turned and stomped out of the room.

As soon as I exited the room I head the leader tell Itachi "Well it seems she is not useless." then I heard Itachi answer "Who said she was?" before he joined me outside.

"Akira?" Itachi asked not standing too close.

"That is Akira's chakra, Holy Shit!" Hidan said as he came around the corner and saw that I was the one with the chakra flowing out of them. This caused me to laugh which in turn caused the chakra to disappear as if it was never there.

"Why is that funny?" Hidan asked Itachi since I was still laughing.

"I don't know." Itachi answered as Kisame came out of the room, he had stayed behind to check on the leader.

"What's up with her? Mood swings much?" Kisame asked noticing me giggling to myself now. I can giggle I'm a girl and everyone knows that girls and evil overlords are allowed to giggle.

"I don't know and apparently." Itachi replied.

"How exactly is the Shit Holy? Did you sacrifice it?" I asked finally stopping my laughter.

"Well--" He began but was cut off by the leader emerging from his office, room, place.

"Akira. We were not done talking about your mission." Pain said angrily.

"What happened to you?" Hidan asked noticing the bruise that was beginning to form on the leader's face.

"Akira punched him in the face." Kisame answered.

"Sweet," Hidan began but then decided to say something else when the leader gave him a I-can't-kill-you-but-i-can-hurt-you glare, "I mean, um, why would you do that?"

"He was going to let me die." I said simply trying not to think about it since I would get angry and possibly release my chakra again.

"Perhaps we should give our mission reports at a later time." Itachi suggested knowing how pissed I was at the leader.

"How about you just write the important information down and give it to me before tomorrow night."

"Agreed." Itachi and Kisame answered as I looked at Hidan ignoring the leader.

"Excellent." Pain said going towards Konan's room to get healed. Too bad she can't heal his pride that was severely wounded by my punch.

"You know what I just realized?" I said after staring at Hidan for a while.

"What?" all three of the guys asked at once.

"You have nice abs." I answered looking at Hidan. This caused Kisame to laugh, Hidan to smirk and Itachi to glare at Hidan.

"Why thank you." He told me taking a step towards me, "If you want to see another part of my body that's nice come with me to my room." He stated suggestively putting an arm around my shoulders and causing me to blush.

"Akira, come let's go to bed." Itachi said moving to me and forcefully removing Hidan's hand from my shoulders before pulling me away. I waved at Kisame and Hidan as we left, a very vivid red blush on my face from Hidan's proposal.

* * *

"Are you angry because I punched the leader?" I asked thinking that was the reason for his forcefulness; it's either that or he is angry because Hidan hit on me. If the latter is the case then why is he taking it out on me. Unless he is just possessive. It might be that one.

"No." He admitted, after giving me this strange one-eyebrow up stare that seemed to say are-you-stupid.

"Why the manhandling?"

"I just wanted to ask you what was up with that chakra explosion thing."

"Oh okay." I answered then began to search the room for my Pajamas.

"What was that chakra explosion." Itachi asked with a sigh.

"In my family three things allows us to have chakra. The first one, which you have already witnessed, is bringing out the book. The second is if we promise something or someone promises something to us. The final one is an emotion."

"Anger?"

"Not for everyone. Basically it is the least used emotion that the clan member possesses. For example I rarely hate. I get angry, annoyed, and irritated at something but I rarely hate something. So when I feel hate, I get my chakra." I explained finding my PJ's on the bed. Why didn't I look there first?

"So if you started to hate everything?"

"Then liking things would bring out my chakra." I informed him walking into the bathroom to change.

"I see." I heard him say through the door to the bathroom.

* * *

Akira is pissed at the leader, Itachi is pissed because Akira likes Hidan's abs, Hidan is pissed because...he just is? Leader is pissed because he was punched to the face, Konan's pissed because she had to deal with it, and Deidara is pissed because Sasori called his art...well not art.

So what I get from this list of pissed-off-ness is that Akira should have kicked the leader in the face. That would make everything better because it is the almighty kick to the face.

* * *

Preview for next chapter: On the Road Again...

_"So I take this to mean that Orochimaru's room does not smell like lemons?"_

_"You are correct." Pain answered me, "Why would we clean a room for someone who might have died." _

_"Is it just me or did that feel like he meant to say 'supposed to have died' instead of might?" I asked Kisame since I like talking to him for some odd reason._


	24. On the Road Again!

This chapter brought to you by: The Gaara Plush that decided to glare at my mom and creep her out. Just because he looks like he wants to slaughter us all in our sleep is no reason to fear his glare...actually yes it is.

* * *

On the Road Again

The next morning I woke up sleeping on my comfy Itachi pillow. Ah the warmness and comfort. It's times like this when one must wonder about just one thing...when is my room going to be ready. My musing was interrupted by someone knocking at the door.

"Go away sleeping." I announced not opening my eyes causing Itachi to chuckle quietly.

"What do you want." Itachi shouted.

"The leader has a new mission for us." Kisame shouted through the door knowing better than to open it.

"When do we have to hear about it?" I shouted still not moving.

"Sometime before dark so that we can head out today."

"We'll go later." I answered not caring about Itachi's opinion.

"Fine, but I'm hungry." Kisame whined.

"Deal with it yourself." Itachi growled angry because Kisame is disturbing us; disturbing me sleeping and Itachi staring creepily at me sleeping.

"I'm hungry too!" Deidara's voice came through the door.

"So am I!" Hidan shouted then opened the door looking at the two of us sleeping. Sadly that means that light came in and woke me up.

"Hidan, go away, sleepy." I say trying to find the sheets without opening my eyes so that I can pull it over my head. This caused me to practically molest Itachi, I'm sure he didn't mind.

"Come Akira, please make me food." Hidan asked nicely.

"No sleep." I insisted trying to use Itachi's arm to block the light, unknowingly releasing me from his hold.

"I want food." Hidan insisted lifting me up off Itachi and into his arms causing me to open my eyes.

"Fine, let me down." I gave in not really that perturbed by the treatment.

"No, it will be faster this way."

"Put her down." Itachi commanded getting up from the bed showing off his no-shirt-ness.

"Okay...when we're in the kitchen." Hidan announced suddenly running from Itachi's room to the kitchen Itachi following right behind him. Did I mention that neither of them had on shirts.

"Was that really necessary?" I asked after I was put down in front of the stove.

"No." He answered smirking at me, "But I did want you to get to feel those abs you were admiring yesterday."

"Stay away from her." Itachi threatened.

"She does not belong to you." Hidan countered as I began getting ready to make french toast and bacon. Why bacon you ask? Because I like bacon.

"She's not yours either." Itachi growled as I went into the fridge to get eggs.

"That's right," I stated putting the eggs on the counter, "I belong to everyone...wait that sounded weird. I belong to the god of Sammiches."

"Just stay away from her." Itachi warned as I mixed the eggs and started to heat up the pan.

"If she wants to hang out with me then she should be able to."

"But she does not, does she?" Itachi asked causing the both of them to remember I was in the room.

I looked up at them since I was staring at the toast urging it to cook faster so that I can give them food so they would shut up. "ummm...no?"

"No you don't or no you do?" Itachi asked me.

"No I wasn't listening. Have some food." I said handing them both a plate of French Toast. This ended their argument since they started eating, while glaring. I sighed at them and continued cooking, since I knew that all the members would be hungry and would bother me if there was no food for them.

"Got some for me?" Pain came in after I gave Itachi and Hidan their food.

"No." I told him simply causing him to eye the food that I was making.

"Who is that for?" He asked.

"Someone who I like." I told him.

"Make sure that you come to the meeting soon." Pain reminded me walking out of the kitchen. I continued cooking until Konan came in.

"Can I have some?" Konan asked me politely.

"Sure." I said handing her two plates.

"Why are you giving me two?"

"Because you were going to steal some for Pain anyway."

"True, I won't tell him that you gave me some."

"Okay sounds good it will be our secret, ours and everyone else in the Akatsuki since they all are in here."

"Zetsu isn't." Konan pointed out.

"That's because he eats people."

"Well I should go before Pain gets too hungry."

"Bye, thanks for the use of your shower."

"Anytime."

* * *

"I have a mission for the three of you." the leader announced as soon as the three of us entered his office room place. How does one even have an office room place in a cave?

"Oh joy." I muttered sarcastically still annoyed with the leader over the whole allowing me to die thing.

"Your mission will be to ensure that the nine-tales is not killed."

"Is he in danger?" I asked truly not knowing something for once. Man is this how everyone else feels all the time? Sucks to be them.

"According to our sources Orochimaru is planning on taking Uchiha Sasuke's body."

"I knew that." I interrupted.

"And he will be extending an invitation to Sasuke to join him for the power to kill Itachi." Pain went on as if I did not say anything.

"If Sasuke does that he will be an idiot."

"If Sasuke decides to join Orochimaru he may also attempt to kill his best friend to gain the clan's special eye technique."

"Who is Naruto, I get it."

"So I want the three of you to make sure that he is not harmed. Do not interfere in any other way."

"Itachi you are in charge of keeping the nine-tales alive, if your brother gets too close to killing him then interfere. Kisame you are in charge of making sure that the nine-tales isn't taken to Orochimaru. Akira you will be on standby in case the nine-tales suffers some injury you will be the only one able to get the nine-tales into Konoha and in a hospital. I trust that you are still allowed in Konoha?"

"Yes." I muttered hoping he would not hear me.

"Plus I want the three of you to gather information about the other members of the team that is sent to retrieve Sasuke if possible. If not do not go out of the way to gather information."

"What if Sasuke does not agree to join Orochimaru?"

"We have reason to believe that his agents will take Sasuke by force, then your mission would be null and void. You will all leave immediately."

"Should we capture the nine-tales?" Kisame asked.

"No, it would be pointless since we have to seal him last."

"Plus you try to keep Naruto here against his will, you deal with the annoying-ness that would ensue." I told Kisame smiling at the thought.

"Also the Konoha ninjas would come to get him out, which would be an unnecessary complication."

"Do you have anything else to add?" I asked snappily, I mean he just assigned me a mission right after I got back. I still have not had time to buy clothes. I want more clothes dang it!

"Just that your sleeping arrangements are still the same as before you left."

"So I take this to mean that Orochimaru's room does not smell like lemons?"

"You are correct." Pain answered me, "Why would we clean a room for someone who might have died."

"Is it just me or did that feel like he meant to say 'supposed to have died' instead of might?" I asked Kisame since I like talking to him for some odd reason.

"It kind of did." Kisame agreed whispering to me.

"You are all dismissed." Pain told us ignoring mine and Kisame's side conversation. The three of us quickly left the room to prepare to go on our mission.

* * *

As usual Itachi carried/piggybacked me through the trees to our destination. How they knew where Naruto and them would be looking for Sasuke is a mystery to even me. Anyway we stopped before Kisame did and Itachi set me down on a thick tree branch.

"I have noticed that every time we leave you alone you manage to find trouble." Itachi informed me. Thank you for finally noticing, idiot, seriously I noticed that a long time ago.

"And you always wander around and we have to come find you." Kisame added. Thank you for your astute observation anything else you would like to tell me about my own habits.

"So we have decided it would be safer to leave you away from the battle."

"And somewhere that you will not be able to wonder around." Kisame added, I guess he's bitter because he usually has to find me when I wonder away.

"Okay so where is this magical place?" I asked. That place must be magical if it can keep me out of trouble.

"You're already there." Itachi informed me smirking.

"Try not to fall and hurt yourself." Kisame added chuckling at the shocked expression that is most likely on my face.

"So you are going to leave me in a tree?"

"Yes."

"Many, many feet above that ground?"

"Yes."

"This is supposed to keep me safe how?"

"I trust that if you sit still then even you can't fall off." Itachi mocked.

"I'm sure I could find a way."

"Do you want to plummet to your death?"

"No."

"Then balance here. We will return to pick you up after the mission is over or when you are needed." Itachi said leaving me alone sitting on a tree branch.

"You're solution is to leave me on a tree branch?" I asked no one since Itachi was already gone, "What stupidity. I'm sure I can still get in trouble here. You hear that, I will still find a way."

I then realized that I was talking to myself and decided to think to myself instead. I had to wonder, though, why I wanted to get into trouble. Maybe it's because whenever I do I learn things and meet interesting people. Like Gaara, and Naruto, and umm my fake grandfather. I wonder how he is doing. Although I also met people I would rather not know. Like Orochimaru, Kabuto and umm people. Yeah people.

* * *

Several minutes later, which if you asked me seemed like hours, I was still in the tree but I was slightly less bored. I started hearing voices. I thought that I was going crazy after being stuck in a tree for several hours, which were actually minutes, so I ignored them.

Then I realized that I recognized the loudest of the voices. I was hearing the voice of Rock Lee. This seems like it would be an unimportant piece of information but I know how my mind works; if I was hearing voices they would not be Rock Lee's voice. I might hear Naruto, Itachi, or Gaara; but not Rock Lee.

If I was going to be crazy and hear voices then I would go all out and hear voices that I do not know. Making up people and voices to hear would be so much more interesting. Although I might hear Naruto's voice because it is so loud that it is engraved in my mind. Itachi and Gaara's voice would be there because they are the two who I would most expect to hear. I don't know why, I guess because I like them? I dunno.

As I was pondering this I realized that I could hear the voices better and that one of them was Kimimaro. So Kimimaro and Rock Lee were chatting, well most likely they were fighting. Hmm, I wonder who will win? Wait, is Kimimaro a good fighter? Hold on, wasn't Rock Lee injured? How is he here fighting if he is injured? Maybe I am crazy.

Seriously mind that is the best you can come up with, Rock Lee's voice. Kimimaro, okay I kind of missed him so I guess that makes sense. Rock Lee's voice really?

* * *

Preview from Next Chapter:

_I sit in the tree, what else can I do honestly it's not like I can get down by myself, contemplating if I am crazy or not. I decided to do an insanity test. If I get an answer then I am crazy if there is none I am sane. _

_"Hello tree how are you today." I said looking at the tree waiting for it to answer me. I waited, and waited. So I apparently am not crazy bit I still hear Lee and Kimimaro. I also keep hearing crashed and stuff. I just realized that even though the tree did not answer I might still be crazy since I am still hearing things. _


	25. Kimimaro Returns

Hello People (I hope your people at least).

To the reviewer who noticed I had been writing Pain instead of Pein...blame my evil Word...it decided to auto fix Pein into Pain. I have succeeded in fixing the auto-fix I think. The sad thing is I never even noticed. I blame no one but me pre-reading these and sometimes I don't even do it (when I am really busy). On a brighter note my word also decided that Togetha was a word, umm yeah. Stupid word.

This chapter brought to you by: The fact that if I had a penny for each chapter I would have a quarter which I would use to buy 1/5th of a soda. That's slightly depressing...let's pretend I had a dollar....

* * *

Kimimaro Returns

I sit in the tree, what else can I do honestly it's not like I can get down by myself, contemplating if I am crazy or not. I decided to do an insanity test. If I get an answer then I am crazy if there is none I am sane.

"Hello tree how are you today." I said looking at the tree waiting for it to answer me. I waited, and waited. So I apparently am not crazy bit I still hear Lee and Kimimaro. I also keep hearing crashed and stuff. I just realized that even though the tree did not answer I might still be crazy since I am still hearing things.

I suppose there is another possibility but I don't think it's as interesting as me being crazy; they could be here fighting one another. The only questions then are why, how, and where exactly. They could be fighting over Sasuke. That sounded strange. How, um however they fight? Where exactly, over yonder?

Maybe if I scream really loudly they will come and rescue me from this tree. That requires screaming which would alert things to my presence. I'd rather not scream and have Lee and Kimimaro be in my imagination and have the fighting noises be a pack of rabid monkeys or something. Or it could just be some other ninja that I do not know who will kill me. Either way I will die. At least in the first there are monkeys.

What to do? There is another option of wait until the fight gets close enough and they hopefully notice I am here, if they are not figments of my imagination that is. This option is boring. It required me to be patient. It also relies on having luck, which I don't. So this option is out.

The option I am going with is trying to figure out different options until option two happens or the rabid monkey/unknown ninja find me. I am doing this one right now. Yup fulfilling my own plan of action.

Wait, what happens if it all is in my head and there are not even noises. Then I would just be sitting here wasting my time. I could be doing something else with my time. Scratch that no I wouldn't be doing anything with my time; I'm stuck in a tree. Itachi could have at least given me a book to read or something. But no, let's leave Akira to either die of boredom in a tree or become paralyzed because she was so bored she dived off. Who jumps? You might survive that way, diving headfirst is much more effective.

Maybe if I stand up and look I can see something. Okay, I see something but there's this branch in my way. I guess I could go on my tippy toes and try to see over it. No luck. I know, best plan ever, if I jump I will definitely see over it. I saw over it. But it was too quick so I didn't see exactly what I saw, does that even make sense? It does to me.

I will keep jumping until I see what is there, what I saw. Since I jumped once and did not fall what are the chances that I will fall if I jump a second time? So I did. And I fell.

"Oh crap! I'm gonna die and I never even got to see the rabid monkeys," I shouted closing my eyes and preparing for the rough impact with the ground, "Plus the last few sentences of my life have improper grammar, does that mean I will go to grammar hell?" wait a second I was falling down now I am falling left and someone is holding me. I opened my eyes and was looking into the face of Kimimaro.

"Hello Akira." Kimimaro greeted while smirking at me. Must everyone smirk at me.

"Not crazy!" I shouted hugging him and successfully knocking the smirk off his face. That was my plan, yeah; knock the smirk of by confusing the crap out of him.

"Akira!" I heard Rock Lee shout panting behind us.

"Aren't you injured?" I asked confused.

"I am."

"Isn't it amazing that you are standing then?"

"Yes."

"Why are you here?"

"I wanted to help Naruto retrieve Sasuke."

"So the idiot did join the creepy snake people."

"Hey!" Kimimaro shouted at me since he was one of them. He is also their leader's number one fan. He multi-task's well.

"Are you going to put me down?" I asked realizing that I was in his arms. Since I apparently got used to people doing that so much so I no longer even notice. I blame Itachi.

"Would you like to fall to the forest ground?" He pointed out. I looked down and decided no I would not like to fall to the ground.

* * *

I was put down after Kimimaro found a suitable clearing. I guess he was preparing to fight there. Maybe that's why I called it a clearing instead of a meadow, who fights in a meadow? It makes me think of happy things, I wish I were in a meadow. If I was in a meadow I could have a picnic. I guess Kimimaro put me down because it would be hard to fight while holding a person. I should be thankful that he did not put me in a tree, unlike some people...

"Akira, stay behind me." Kimimaro ordered uselessly since I would hide behind him anyway. My survival instincts are fine, my luck is awful, and my common sense is still broken but at least I have it.

"Konoha has announced that Akira is officially a civilian of Konoha and kidnapped. As such any ninja of Konoha that comes into contact with her should take any action to ensure her safe return." Lee said after taking out his little note pad and reading off of it. Where did he get the note pad? Where did it come from? Never mind I don't really want to know the answer to that.

"That's news to me." I muttered wondering how long I have been a civilian of Konoha without my knowledge. Maybe it was when I was kidnapped? The whole Itachi taking me away could have helped my chances at being a Konoha person. I wonder if I get anything for being one. Do I get discounts in stores? Like having membership gives me 10% off at certain Konoha locations. Valid only at participating Konoha stores.

"I will not let Konoha take away my—I mean Oto's slave, Akira." Kimimaro announced right before the two of them began fighting.

Why did he say my name at the end, who else would he have been talking about? There's no one else in this clearing right? I wondered looking around just to make sure no one was there. Unless that blade of grass in front of my shoe is secretly a person then no it's just the three of us. What if it is a person though? One way to find out; step on it. Okay not a person but I think I killed an innocent piece of grass. It was mocking me.

"Don't I get a choice?" I muttered bitterly to myself knowing that they were too busy fighting to hear me. If I had a choice there would be a monkey here.

* * *

After some time of ignoring their fighting, if I ignore them maybe they will go away. I had to stop ignoring them when some sand saved Lee, because who can ignore possessed sand?

"Gaara!" I greeted happily waving at him enthusiastically.

"Akira!" He shouted surprised, which was the only indication he was surprised. Him, with his blank look, which he uses. Aw his blank look of no emotion looks sad to me. I feel like hugging him now.

"Gaara!" Lee finally came out of his shocked state and noticed that Gaara was there and Lee had not greeted him yet.

"Lee." Gaara said nodding to Lee in greeting. Ah the lazy greeting.

"Kimimaro!" Kimimaro announced annoyed.

"Aw, does Kimimaro feel unloved. Did you want someone to shout your name?" I teased him pulling his hair slightly. I wanted to play with his hair but no he had to fight so I can't, so I chose the next best option...tugging on it.

"Akira you can play with my hair when we get back to Oto." Kimimaro announced knowing that was what I was thinking.

"But I'm not going to Oto with you." I pointed out stupidly. Ah yes the common sense is still broken.

"You don't have a choice." He announced.

"I won't let you take her." Gaara said quite eerily if you ask me. He had this slightly insane look on his face that seemed to say argue with me and die.

"It is my duty as a youthful ninja of Konoha to ensure that Akira is returned." Lee declared loudly and with his nice guy pose at the end.

"She belongs to me so she will return to Oto like a good slave."

"When was I a good slave?" I asked looking at Kimimaro curiously.

"When you did what you were told and made me food."

"I make everyone food." I pointed out.

"You never made me anything." Lee whined.

"That's because I am creeped out by your jumpsuit."

"Why must you hate the youthful green jumpsuit?"

"Simple it is a jumpsuit."

"What do you have to say about this Gaara?" Lee asked noticing that Gaara was thinking about something.

"I want pancakes." He announced.

"I'm bored just start fighting already." I said walking to the edge of the clearing to sit and try to be out of the way.

So the fighting started with the sand and the bones flying around. Gaara protecting Lee and Kimimaro making sure nothing happened to me. Not that anything was going to happen to me since Gaara was making sure that nothing he shot at Kimimaro came at me. I decided that I did not feel like watching the fight so instead I got comfortable.

I decided to sit down next to some sticks. What to do with the sticks? I know! I will make a house made out of sticks. How come this does not work? How did the little pig make his house? Sure the pig that does not have opposable thumbs can make a house of sticks but I can't, that's just mean.

What to do now? I know I can write stuff in the ground with the sticks. As I was scraping into the ground that I want pie the ground suddenly got soft and turned into sand. The ground beneath me, which is now sand, suddenly shot up and took me over to where Gaara and Lee were floating in the air.

"Warning would have been nice." I told Gaara calmly when I reached him.

"Akira." He said grabbing my arm with his left arm and doing his sand death squeeze of doom with his right.

"Is Kimimaro down there?" I asked curiously.

"Weren't you watching?" Lee asked.

"No." I answered honestly.

"Would I be performing my jutsu on the sand if he was not in there?"

"Maybe?" I asked unsure.

"No."

"That's all you had to say."

* * *

Preview from next chapter: Kimimaro's Death

"_He's not dead!" Lee exclaimed._

_"Apparently not." I commented dryly._

_"…" Gaara didn't say anything but made the sand once more surround Kimimaro to crush him to death._

"_Don't you have any other jutsu?" I asked annoyingly_


	26. Kimimaro's death

I got 9 reviews for the chapter before this one. I was so shocked and happy. The greedy part of me was like why not ten? That part also is sometimes known as the OCD part because it was like why 9, nine is not an even number. Most of me however was just happy to get so many reviews. Yay people who review!

This chapter brought to you by: My new shiny shoes. They are silver with black on them so they are literally shiny. I shall follow them.

* * *

Kimimaro's Death

So I was watching Gaara squish Kimimaro to death when Kimimaro emerged still alive! Sadly he emerged with nasty bones protruding from his body, but still alive. Needless to say I was impressed by his stay-alive-after-fatal-squishing-powers.

"He's not dead!" Lee exclaimed.

"Apparently not." I commented dryly.

"…" Gaara didn't say anything but made the sand once more surround Kimimaro to crush him to death.

"Don't you have any other jutsu?" I asked annoyingly. Once again Kimimaro emerged victorious. Well not victorious but alive, that's something.

"Won't he die?" Gaara asked growling at his failure.

"Eventually," I answered annoyingly until I saw the ultra scary glare Gaara was giving me, "He seems sick to me. I think he is pushing himself to his breaking point."

"I hope so." Lee pointed out, "Gaara seems to be almost out of chakra.

Kimimaro made one last attempt to kill Gaara, and Gaara being exhausted could not even move to stop it. I don't know how but I saw Kimimaro get ready to poke Gaara's eye out with his bone and I moved to stop him. Unfortunately I am not that good a ninja, since I am not one, so I pushed Gaara out of the way but somehow my right shoulder was pierced by his bone.

"Akira!" the three boys shouted at me in shock.

"Why?" Gaara asked staring confused at me since I had just saved me.

"I didn't mean, why were you there, did I hurt you?" Kimimaro asked shakily coughing some blood after each thought.

"Kimimaro..." I stated noticing the blood and trying to ignore Gaara because I had no suitible answer for him at the moment.

"Akira." Kimimaro said once more and I left the safety of Gaara's sand float to stand by Kimimaro's side.

"It's okay, I walked into it. It was like me holding my fist out and you walking into it." I joked with him like I used to.

"I missed you." Kimimaro admitted smiling until he had to cough once more. "Can you forgive me for hurting you?"

"Nothing to forgive. I wouldn't have held that against you, even if you weren't dieing."

"You know." He said shocked as he moved all the protrusions of bone back into his body so that he once more looked normal.

"It's not hard to figure out."

"Can I have one dieing wish?" Kimimaro asked me with such pleading eyes that I would not have been able to say no, even if I wanted to, which I don't.

"Depends on if I can."

"Stay."

"I was going to do that anyway." I said finally closing the distance between us and hugging him with my left hand. He immediately put both his arms around me and buried his face in my hair, since he is taller than me.

"I truly am sorry." he muttered right before he gave one last cough and died. I gently laid him down on the ground. Closing his eyes gently. I looked up at Gaara and Lee and told them, "He's dead you can come down now it's safe."

Gaara made his sand float connect with the ground and he sat there too weak to do anything but stare at me, still in shock. Well he's staring at me emotionlessly but I know he's shocked. Just like I knew that Itachi was smirking from behind his mask before. I had no answers for Gaara so I continued to sit next to Kimimaro's body holding my shoulder to keep the blood in. maybe I should get that looked at.

"Why." Gaara finally mustered the energy to ask.

"Because he was my friend." I answered talking about Kimimaro.

"No, why did you save me?"

"Did you expect me to let you die—in front of me, when I could do something to prevent it?"

"No one has ever tried to protect me."

"I suppose that's why it is such a shock." Lee stated reminding Gaara and I of his presence.

"Well I can't let important people to me die in front of me without doing anything." I said not looking at him because I was afraid of blushing. Stupid body, trying to blush. I wasn't even confessing anything, was I? Plus isn't blushing blood running to your face? I think I am loosing too much blood from my shoulder to do that right not, thank you very much.

"Akira, is your shoulder okay, I shall heal it with the power of youth." Lee announced noticing me still holding my shoulder and apparently just now noticing me flinch in pain every time I moved that arm. He's not the brightest crayon in the box, but he sure is one of the greenest. He tried to get up and use his youth to heal me, whatever that means, but was unable to due to the fact that his legs are still injured and he severely overused them in his fight.

"It's okay Lee, I think if youth was powerful enough to heal it then I would have already used my own youth to heal it myself." I pointed out trying to use Lee and Gai logic.

"Maybe you just do not have enough youth!"

"I don't think that's the problem."

"You got hurt because of me." Gaara said feeling guilty.

"No I am pretty sure that I got hurt because of my own stupidity and the pointy object that I threw myself in front of."

"If we weren't here you wouldn't have gotten hurt." Gaara continued.

"Well if you all weren't here I would either still be in that tree or hurt on the ground after falling out of said tree. Most likely the last once since Kimimaro caught me as I was falling. Although I wouldn't have fallen if I wasn't trying to see if I was hearing things or not. Since I was hearing you, Lee, then I suppose that I would have just sat there." I said thinking out loud.

"Why were you in the tree anyway?" Lee asked curiously.

"I was put there for safe keeping. I, apparently, have a tendency to find trouble when left alone." I responded noticing that Gaara was still feeling guilty and sulking.

"Why were those that kidnapped you here in the first place?" Lee asked causing Gaara to once more stare at me, instead of staring sadly at the ground.

"They were ordered to make sure that no one kills Naruto."

"Akira you really shouldn't just tell people about our mission." Kisame said as he made his presence known in the clearing.

"You really should not be an accomplice to someone that leaves someone else in a tree." I said pouting which turned into a grimace as I moved my hurt shoulder.

"You're injured." Kisame finally noticed.

"Really, I never would have known." I replied sarcastically.

"Itachi is going to kill me." Kisame whined completely ignoring the two other males in the clearing. He apparently fails at ninja-noticing-things.

"Why?" I pondered, "It's not like you poked me with Samehada or something."

"I know I will tell him it was them." Kisame mused gesturing at the fallen Lee and the guilt stricken Gaara. Which means that he ignored me completely. "Then I can tell Itachi that I left them alive so that he can finish them off. Then Itachi will kill them and feel better and everyone will be happy."

"I see a flaw in your wonderful plan that ends with happiness for all who are still alive at the end." I pointed out.

"What?"

"I will tell Itachi the truth."

"Why? Hold on what is the truth?"

"Kimimaro," I began but noticed Kisame looked confused, "The dead body on the ground stabbed me with his bone."

"But he's already dead, that won't satisfy Itachi." Kisame whined.

"Stop whining." Itachi said appearing behind Kisame. "Why have you not tended to her wound?" Itachi asked glaring at Kisame.

"I knew it would somehow be my fault." Kisame whined significantly quieter.

"Hi Itachi." I said since I couldn't do my usual wave. Itachi merely raised one eyebrow at me before kneeling down in front of me to see the damage.

"Why did he stab you?"

"Um, funny story..." I stated trying to fabricate some story.

"A funny story ends with you getting stabbed?" He said looking me in the eyes then looked over at Kisame, "Dispose of them."

"No!" I shouted in Itachi's face.

"Then tell me the truth." Itachi said signaling Kisame to halt. Kisame just stood there confused. Lee and Gaara sat there a bit scared since they both were in no condition to stop anyone.

"Kimimaro was going to make me his slave again, some fighting later Gaara came and got me away from Kimimaro. Gaara protected Lee and I from Kimimaro. Then as Kimimaro was about to stab Gaara in the eye I pushed him out of the way but stupidly got hit."

"So you got hurt instead of _him_." Itachi said stressing the hate he felt towards Gaara.

"No I believe my story was that I got hurt because I didn't move when Kimimaro had his sharp bone pointing in my general direction."

"Kisame kill the red head but leave the green one alone." Itachi ordered.

"No!" I shouted jumping up to stop him and hurting myself in the process. How did I hurt myself you ask? Well I jumped up, which caused my arm-shoulder-mass to hurt, then I made a step towards Kisame but tripped on the end of Itachi's cloak. So then I fell backwards onto Itachi which also made the right side of me hurt. Man how clumsy am I? So now I am sitting in Itachi's lap holding my shoulder in pain. He seems fine with that.

"Itachi some ninja are coming, so if we don't leave now we will have to fight." Kisame pointed out feeling their chakra coming.

"Fine let's go. Akira needs the help of a medic anyway." Itachi relented deciding to allow Lee and Gaara to live. Itachi then stood up holding me so that I would not fall down. Then the two of them, Itachi and Kisame, run out of the clearing leaving the exhausted Lee and Gaara alone.

"Does this mean that our mission is over and Naruto is safe?" I asked once we were away from all the other ninja.

"Akira it was over once I appeared in the clearing." Kisame pointed out, "Why would we have been looking for you unless the mission was already over?"

"That reminds me," Itachi started staring at me once more, while jumping through trees which I still think is dangerous, "How did you get out of the tree?"

"I fell."

"How?" Kisame asked since the branch I had been on seemed stable enough and wide enough.

"I was jumping to see if there were people."

"Why would there be people?" Kisame asked as the two of them stopped to stare at me.

"I heard people and wanted to make sure that I wasn't crazy."

"So you jumped while in a tree?"

"Yes."

"Was that the answer to your crazy question too?" Kisame asked for once making a good comeback. So the score is now 1 point for Kisame, 1 for Akira (b/c the girls bathroom was farther away) and eleventy billion for Itachi.

* * *

This week I just, and I mean just, finished this chapter and I haven't decided exactly what the next chapter is about so no preview. I do however have a nice consolation prize of Akira logic that amused me. Here's the ones I found in the first five chapters. One piece of logic from each:

* * *

From I followed the Shiney: One should always remain on trails—there might be ninja

_So being the responsible person I am I ignored every bit of common sense I have and decided to walk into the woods (the denser part since I have been in the woods this entire time) and thus leave the trail which is supposed to be followed for several good reasons._

_Reason one: not getting lost._

_Reason two: not getting hurt on branches or tripping over roots (although I have done both while on the trail, but that's besides the point)._

_Reason three: animals (because apparently animals don't like trails)._

_And finally Reason four: because dangerous ninja people don't use trails_

This one is also in several chapters I just felt like putting this quote in here: (From How I got into the Akatsuki)

_"I thought you were a ninja."_

_"Why did you think that?" I mean who assumes that random girls without weapons with on them are ninja. No one smart anyway._

_"Because you are in the woods." He stated like it is the most obvious answer in the world._

_"People other than ninja go through woods."_

_"But most normal people stay on the trail, only ninja and animals leave the trail."_

_"Um, I saw a bunny?" I lie really badly._

_"For some reason I don't believe you." He said right before Kimimaro appeared._

* * *

From How I got into the Akatsuki: Smirking=doom

_"Yes." The leader answered smirking. Oh no smirking I'm doomed. He knows I will die._

_"Well, when do I leave?" I ask hoping that maybe I can get myself lost in the woods and never have to return. Maybe I can leave and just never come back. Itachi will find me if I go home but if I go anywhere else he might not._

_"As soon as we are done talking, but if you do not return in three weeks we will send out our members to retrieve you."_

_"What if you found me running away?" I ask more curious than smart. Here's a tip never reveal your escape plan to the one who has kidnapped you._

_"Then you will die." The leader said still smirking. Death is imminent now._

* * *

From How I got into the Akatsuki 2: How to safely steel death germ infested things

_As luck would have it the ring I am after is in the room I am currently cleaning. There is only one problem it's on the finger of a corpses hand, a nasty dead hand that is rotting and stuff. Gross. So to be able to get the ring, which assures me that I will not be on a team with Itachi, then I have to touch a dead rotting corpses hand. The nastiness is overwhelming. So instead of taking it I decided to follow orders and clean the room, then I will take it._

_So I am done cleaning now and I'm hungry I have to get the ring now, but it's too nasty. Maybe I can get it off with a paper towel? Do paper towels protect you from death germs? I think so. So then I carefully removed the ring using paper towels and succeeded in getting it. I immediately dropped it into the cleaning solution. I don't know what that stuff is but it got everything else clean and sanitized why not the ring. I then use a cleaning tool to fish the ring out, I think the cleaning solution is great but I don't trust it. I wipe it off with the mighty paper towels and then deem that it is safe to put in my pocket. Mission accomplished, now to work on my escape plan._

* * *

From Why Deidara stole my Sammich: There is a hierarchy of creepy expressions

_"Good." Itachi grinned. Oh no, Itachi grinned. Here I was thinking that smirking and creepy smiling was the worst expressions ever then I had to experience an Itachi grin. The dreaded shirtless Itachi grin of Dooom (capitalized for effect and loaded with an extra 'o' for obliteration). I guess he missed the sarcasm laced in my words. I can see inner Itachi grinning and rubbing his hands together in contemplation over some evil plan that involves me. I am so doomed._

* * *

From the First Night: Itachi can stare while doing anything

_"No." Itachi answered finishing his soup while staring at me. Yes again with the eating and staring. But this time he took it up a level, now he is staring while eating soup. I mean I spill soup when I am looking and the bowl and it is inches from my face, how can he not spill it all over himself? Maybe it's a ninja thing._

_…"Why are you staring at the couch?"_

_"Well you stare at me all the time and you don't see me asking about that." I say to him since I desire my death apparently. Note to self don't talk back to Itachi._

_"Firstly don't talk back to me, and secondly you are not a couch." He said extremely angry._

_"I'm not?" I said and Itachi glared at me it was scary so I decided to answer him because I fear for my life. "I was debating if this is a good couch to sleep on."_


	27. Getting Patched Up

I am currently trying to decide between time skip or no time skip...no time skip means more chapters before I get to where I want to end it but it also means I have to find things for them to do. Time skip means skipping to where everyone is older and more specifically the sealing of the demons, which I know what I am going to write. Decisions, decisions.

This chapter brought to you by: No Internet, and thunderstorms. I can't do much else during a power outage, but I have a laptop so I can still type. (For 2-5 hrs…oddly unspecific)

* * *

Getting Patched up

We arrived at the Akatsuki base and I was surprisingly still alive. I was however very tired but I was afraid that if I went to sleep then I wouldn't wake back up. What if the leader decided that since I was wounded, during a non-combat mission mind you, that maybe I am useless and thus allow me to die. Even worse, what if they put me on the couch so I can sleep and Zetsu eats me? So I stayed awake even though Itachi is starting to replace pillows in my mind, since I keep sleeping on him. What if I try to sleep on a pillow but can't because it is too soft and not warm and Itachi like? Oh no Itachi has ruined pillows for me!

Anyways, we reached the hideout and immediately went to see the leader like the good minions that we are. Well that Itachi and Kisame are. Scratch that like Kisame is. I think the only reason we went right there was because I told Itachi that I wanted to make sure I wasn't going to get killed in my sleep, yeah I actually told him about my fear of not waking up. I had to tell him somehting because he kept looking at me with one eyebrow raised while his being seemed to ask me 'why aren't you asleep yet'. Yeah so Itachi and I apparently don't need words anymore, how creepy.

"What happened?" Pein asked as soon as he saw me.

"The mission was a success." Kisame answered deciding to tell him the good news first. Dosen't he know good news comes last so that the conversation ends happy?

"We left Akira in a place that we thought would be safe." Itachi informed the leader after a short pause where the leader stared at me and the blood.

"Obviously it was not." Pein supplied causing me to snicker.

"It was a stupid tree." I pouted.

"So then what happened?" Pein asked Itachi realizing that I wasn't going to tell him anything of value.

"Somehow she got down from the tree." Itachi answered looking at me to add to the story.

"Kimimaro came as I was falling off the branch because I was jumping to see if I was crazy or not."

"That sentence sounds crazy." Kisame muttered.

"Then he took me to the clearing where he began to fight with Rock Lee. After a while Subaku no Gaara came and starting fighting him too. Long story short I pushed Gaara out of the way but was too stupid to dodge one of Kimimaro's attacks that would have killed Gaara."

"Why did you save this Gaara person?"

"The reason I am giving you is because he's the one-tailed demon and was going to die. So I was technically completing my mission...ish."

"Deidara and Sasori should thank you then, since you saved their demon." Pein said ignoring the fact that I had other reasons for saving Gaara. "What were you and Kisame doing during this?" he asked looking at Itachi for answers once more.

"We were watching the nine-tailes fight my brother. We made sure that he wouldn't die and we stayed in the vicinity until one of his allies took him home to their hospital." Itachi answered.

"And both of you were needed for that?" Pein asked angry at Itachi and Kisame for some reason. Why are they getting in trouble I am the on who got hurt? Plus they are in trouble with the guy who tried to leave me for dead.

"I was watching other fights completeing the secondary part of the mission. If I have to fight any of them I will be prepared." Kisame tried to reason with him.

"Fine, anything else to report?" he asked noticing I was about to pass out.

"No, sir." Kisame answered since Itachi was distracted by me, well by his staring at me.

"Kisame you are dismissed, Itachi take Akira to Kakuza and get him to fix her shoulder before she bleeds to death." Pein said, nice to know he cares.

Itachi took me to Kakuza's room and knocked on the door with his foot, since he is still holding me.

"If my door is damaged you're paying for it." Kakuza called from inside the room. Itachi took this to mean open the door and enter. "What do you want?"

"She needs her shoulder stitched up." Itachi informed him causing Kakuza to turn around for the first time.

"Fine, you may leave Itachi."

"No." Itachi said after putting me down.

"Itachi go get me a new shirt." I told him realizing that if Itachi stayed he'd get to see me without a shirt.

"Fine." Itachi said leaving.

"I'm surprised." Kakuza said watching Itachi walk out.

"Me too, I was expecting him to insist on staying. Maybe he's tired too."

"Perhaps, you can use this sheet to cover up, but I am going to have to see your shoulder." Kakuza informed me, oddly nicely, as he turned to give me privacy. He's nicer than I thought, unless he wants something.

"Okay I'm as decent as I am going to be." I told him after I had taken off my shirt and one of my bra straps. It really hurt taking off the shirt by the way.

"Hey Kakuza, what..." Hidan yelled as he walked in cutting off when he noticed me sitting there with only a sheet in front of me and my back facing him.

"You should knock." Kakuza told him calmly, "And if you have damaged my door you are paying for it.

"Hey Akira, nice back." Hidan said regaining his smirk.

"All done." Kakuza announced since he ultra speedily stitched up my shoulder so well that I didn't even know where the cut had been.

"That's amazing." I said honestly to him causing him to look away from me.

"So Akira, how'd you get hurt?" Hidan asked still looking at my exposed back.

"Get out of the doorway." I heard Itachi hiss.

"Fine." Hidan said coming into the room and sitting on the bed with me.

"Here's your shirt." Itachi stated handing me the shirt as he glared at Hidan for sitting near me.

"Hidan why are you here?" Kakuza asked feeling the tension and annoyed that all these people were hanging out in his room.

"I was just coming to see what my partner was doing; I didn't expect to be so lucky." Hidan said looking at my back some more.

"You will both need to leave so that she can put her shirt on, her wound will still be tender so I don't think she will want to have to sneakily try to put on the shirt and not move the sheet." Kakuza said informing them of why I was sitting there glaring at Itachi since I could not see Hidan since he is behind me.

"What's this?" Hidan asked fingering my clan tattoo thing causing me to gasp and arch my back. "That's an interesting reaction." he murmured and went to do it again but was stopped by Itachi grabbing his arm harshly.

"Let's go." Itachi growled out physically pulling Hidan out of the room so that I could change.

"Thank you, Kakuza." I told him after my shirt was safely on. Well not really my shirt but Itachi's since I still do not have any of my own. Kakuza is definitely getting food for this. I will make him food whenever I make Itachi food and put it in the fridge with his name on it. "What do you want for breakfast tomorrow?"

"What?"

"Breakfast, I'm going to make it for you tomorrow as thanks." I informed him.

"I was just doing as ordered." Kakuza informed me not looking at me still.

"Well you could have taken advantage of it, and you were nice so I feel indebted to you."

"Fine, I like French Toast."

"Okay that's what we will have tomorrow." I told him. "Good night." I said pleasantly to him waving with my left hand since it was still hard to move my right. I walked out of his room to find Hidan and Itachi having a glare fest.

"Let's go." Itachi said moving towards me. I didn't complain for once when he scoped me up because I was mid faint when he did it. Apparently I had used all my energy to talk to Kakuza and walk out of the room.

* * *

I woke up the next morning from my comfortable spot, directly on top of Itachi, to the sound of muffled voices outside the door. Now usually voices have to be really loud to wake me up but the muffled voices were talking about me. If I hear my name I am more likely to wake up. Itachi as usual was already awake and just waiting for me to get up. How does he just lay there doing nothing while I sleep all the time? Well I suppose he is entertained by me sleeping but how long can one person stare at another person sleeping? Oh wait I forgot this is Itachi we are talking about he's Mr. I-stare-at-Akira-all-the-time-while-doing-other-things. You see that name is too long so I shall call him Itachi.

"Why are there always people trying to wake me up?" I mumbled into Itachi's chest.

"It's because you sleep so much later than we do."

"Not my fault you are ninja and wake with the sun. I'd prefer to wake with the double digits."

"I would think that you would have gotten used to being up so early by now." Itachi mused.

"I am, before I wouldn't have heard them outside now I do."

"But you said they woke you."

"It's called denial."

"So are you going to get up?"

"Do I have to?"

"I don't care, I'm fine like this." Itachi stated proving his point by bringing me closer to him, if that's even possible, and started stroking my hair.

"Are you going to molest me?" I asked realizing that I might be tempting him with my presence.

"Probably." He answered honestly.

"Then I will get up, plus I promised Kakuza French Toast."

"Fine." He agreed releasing sitting up and watching me search through his clothes.

"Can I get some clothes of my own?"

"I like seeing you in my clothes."

"Possessive much?"

"Very."

"You are strange in the morning do you realize that?" I said finally finding some pants, I think he hides them on purpose. "If I had my own clothes I'd be less irritable."

"This is you irritable?"

"I'd be happier?"

"Why is that a question?"

"Fine! You just want to say that I am in your pants." I grumbled to myself as I left the room intending to go to Konan's room. Outside the room I saw Deidara and Sasori and they looked at me weird because they only heard what I just muttered. Since I was feeling so nice that day I decided not to explain what happened and let them think whatever.

"Akira, we heard that you saved our demon." Deidara started intending to give me a long conversation.

"Thanks." Sasori said simply then walked away.

"Like he said; thanks." Deidara said after some talking that I didn't listen too because it was too early.

"Your welcome." I answered knocking on Konan's room.

"Shower?" she asked.

"Shower." I said nodding entering the room and leaving Deidara standing confused outside. That's what he gets for trying to steal my Sammich, yes I hold a grudge.

* * *

Preview from next chapter: Admitted Filler

_"Where's Itachi?" Hidan asked coming into the room, as usual sans shirt._

_"I don't know, he will probably show up when you hit on her though." Kakuza announced thinking Hidan was talking to him._

_"Hey, Akira!" Hidan said moving to touch the place where my clan tattoo is again but was stopped by Itachi's hand. I feel like I have a bubble. Beware the wrath of my personal space bubble! Wait the person who gets into my bubble most is Itachi. I don't have a bubble I have a possessive ninja criminal who kidnapped me for no apparent reason; I had forgotten. Oh well at least Hidan won't be able to molest me while Itachi is around. That means that I only have to worry about Itachi molesting me._


	28. Admitted Filler

This chapter brought to you by: The super bowl, why does it have to be in Tampa? This means that in order to go eat anywhere I have an insane wait time (exaggerating) which means that I will have to cook. The inhumanity of it all.

* * *

Admitted Filler

I was cooking Kakuza's French toast; well I was cooking enough for everyone, when I met Tobi.

"Tobi is a good boy, can Tobi have toast?" a weird, ninja I assume, guy asked me as he skipped into the room, ignoring everyone else. Yay alliteration, by the way, Tobi toast...hehehe.

"Tobi go away." Deidara said obviously already annoyed.

"So, Deidara doesn't like you." I pondered thinking of evil things. Well my version of evil, which isn't really evil. More like 'I will annoy you until you give me a cookie' evil.

"No, I don't." Deidara informed me.

"Why, Tobi is a good boy?" Tobi asked whining to Deidara.

"Shut up." Sasori said emotionlessly, which I know isn't a word but if anyone deserved to have a made up word to describe their utter lack of emotion it would be Sasori. If only we knew who he was talking to.

"I suppose you can have some." I announced hoping Sasori wasn't talking to me before. Okay he didn't kill me or even look at me; I am going to take that to mean that he is fine with me talking.

"Where's Itachi?" Hidan asked coming into the room, as usual sans shirt.

"I don't know, he will probably show up when you hit on her though." Kakuza announced thinking Hidan was talking to him.

"Hey, Akira!" Hidan said moving to touch the place where my clan tattoo is again but was stopped by Itachi's hand. I feel like I have a bubble. Beware the wrath of my personal space bubble! Wait the person who gets into my bubble most is Itachi. I don't have a bubble I have a possessive ninja criminal who kidnapped me for no apparent reason; I had forgotten. Oh well at least Hidan won't be able to molest me while Itachi is around. That means that I only have to worry about Itachi molesting me.

"Wow Kakuza you were right." Kisame announced impressed.

"Of course, pay up."

"Why do I even make bets with you?" Kisame asked handing over his money, watching as everyone else at the table did the same. I guess they were betting that Hidan would get to touch me before Itachi noticed or something.

"Is there really nothing else to bet on than me getting molested?" I asked curiously.

"There is, but nothing nearly as interesting." Konan answered.

"Would it be interesting if you were being molested by Itachi?" I asked them all and they actually thought about it.

"Yes it would because I would wonder what he was on." Kisame answered.

"I would be interested in when he started to like men." Sasori answered simply.

"I would wonder if I could make money off of it somehow." Kakuza answered.

"I'd sacrifice him." Hidan answered.

"Pein would fight him." Konan answered.

"You're right that would be interesting." I agreed. Although apparently my agreement did not stop them from continuing to tell me what they would do.

"I would eat him." both sides of Zetsu agreed for once.

"I would wonder how I was molesting myself." Itachi stated joining in for some odd reason.

"Why is everyone in the Akatsuki here, other than Pein?" I inquired looking at them all.

"We're hungry." all the ones that like to talk said at the same time. Yes that means you Deidara and Kisame.

"Sometimes I wonder if I am secretly just a cook and Pein is just trying to confuse me by giving me missions." I stated out loud as I flipped some French toast.

* * *

I was searching through the base…okay I was lost but I was in the base that much it true. So I was lost and looking for the exit so I can sneak out to buy some clothes and come back. I don't see why I have to sneak out if I am a member of the Akatsuki and not a prisoner but I feel like I do. I passed Kakuza in the hall but I figured it would be a bad idea to tell anyone my ingenious get myself some clothes plan. Okay it was actually because I was afraid Kakuza would take my-Itachi's money.

So like every other time I got lost I found myself outside of Sasori's door. Is his room located in the middle? Do all hallways lead here? How is it possible that I got the opposite direction and find myself here? I was musing over these very important questions when Sasori opened the door to his room and stared at me. I'd like to think that he is staring at me shocked even thought there is absolutely no evidence of this on his face.

"Why are you outside my room?" he asked finally breaking our staring/musing contest.

"I was looking for the exit."

"The exit is very far from my door."

"I know which is why when I found your door I had to stare at it and contemplate my next move."

"Why do you want to go out?"

"I want my own clothes."

"How were you planning on paying?"

"Itachi's wallet." I answered simply showing him it.

"I am not going to even ask how you got that. Come." He informed me grabbing my arm for dragging purposes.

"Where are we going?" I asked stupidly.

"The exit." He answered with his usual short answers, aw confused curious Sasori is gone.

"Thanks."

"I was going into the town anyway."

"That means I won't get lost on the way back!" I said excitedly. Yeah I was completely prepared to get out go to the town, towns I can find bases no, and then get lost going back. Then Itachi would have to come looking for me and he'd find me, like the good stalker he is, and burn my new clothes. Then he'd find out I stole his wallet, again, and burn a tree. A poor innocent tree, unless it's one of those short trees whose branches attack your head when you walk under them then it deserved it.

"This way I can buy more." Sasori responded grinning evilly.

"Let me guess, Itachi's wallet?" I asked actually catching on for once.

"Yes."

* * *

So the good thing about shopping with Sasori is the not-lost. The bad thing is I had to go shopping with Sasori. That means that I had to stand Sasori glaring at me while I picked out my clothes, even while I picked out underwear. That was awkward. Then I had to go shopping with Sasori for the things he needed. This would have been fine if I wasn't curious.

"I'd like this smooth rope." Sasori said buying things from some climbing store.

"Why do you need smooth rope?" I asked curiously, this my friends is my biggest mistake.

"So that if my new puppets happen to be still alive it won't ruing their skin where I tie them up." He answered looking at me more interested than usual. I guess he was happy I was taking an interest in his hobby. If only he knew the truth.

"Oh, that makes sense. Where are we going now?"

"To the herb store." He answered. Oh good how bad can getting herbs be.

"Okay." I informed him skipping to the store, ignoring the villagers strange looks. Come to think of it if I wasn't happily skipping around, a happy me being dragged by a stoic Sasori might look like I had been kidnapped by him. Little do the villagers know I was not kidnapped by Sasori but by Itachi. Take that random villagers.

"I need these herbs." Sasori gave a list to the herb guy. Wow he is prepared.

"What are they for?" I asked curiously. You'd think I would have learned from the first time not to ask.

"They are for the poisons I use in my puppets and for the embalming I use to keep the skin on my puppets fresh."

"Oh." I said wishing I had kept quiet. Too bad I never keep quiet. I should probably learn that skill.

"You seem interested, I can show you how I make my poison and puppets." He offered kindly for Sasori.

"Maybe the poison, I don't have chakra so puppets wouldn't make sense." I told him thinking of an excuse really quickly. Wow that was a good excuse I am impressed with myself.

"I will find you when I make it then."

"Great." I said sarcastically but he didn't notice.

* * *

When we got back to the lair, base got annoying so it's now officially an evil lair, we were met with an irate Itachi. (yay alliteration)

"Where were you?" Itachi asked me growling while glaring at Sasori.

"We were shopping in the town." Sasori answered since I was hiding behind him. Yeah I'm a wimp but irate Itachi is scary.

"Why did you take Akira?" Itachi asked.

"She needed clothes." Sasori informed him.

"No she didn't." Itachi countered, "She could have continued to wear mine."

"Do you own women's undergarments?" Sasori asked raising an eyebrow and smirking. Oh no Sasori is smirking now too.

"Fine but next time inform us before you leave." Itachi chastised.

"Yes mommy." I answered even though it was probably the stupidest thing I could have said to him. Self preservation skills are apparently on the fritz. I realized that my life was on the line I hid even more behind Sasori, aka I used the you can't see me I can't see you rule. Yup I hid my face in Sasori's back.

"Akira." Itachi growled. He apparently likes growling now.

"Yes?" I asked weakly my answer muffled by Sasori's shirt.

"I will forget what you just said if you never say it again and come over here." Itachi informed me. Apparently he didn't like me hiding behind Sasori. Maybe it had something to do with the fact I was practically hugging Sasori from behind.

"Okay." I agreed letting go of Sasori's shirt and walking over to Itachi.

"Next time I will go to town with you to buy anything you need." Itachi told me. I didn't completely believe him but I knew better than to say anything. Instead I just followed him to wherever the crap we were going.

After we reached the room Itachi watched me put all my stuff way. "How did you get the money?" he asked after a few minutes.

"Remember how before you offered to buy me stuff, well think of it as you having already done it." I said keeping myself on the other side of the bed.

"How did you find my wallet?" Itachi asked more shocked than angry. That man must have way too much money to not worry about me spending too much.

"It wasn't hard to find. I just had to go into the closet find the hidden crawlspace go through it. Answer the riddle of the guardians, search through all the cool things you had in there and find the wallet stuffed in a hole in the wall."

"What part of that was the easy part?"

"The spending your money part I suppose."

* * *

A few days after the Sasori incident, as Itachi likes to call it, I was lounging around in my female clothes and Sasori found me. He started to teach me about poisons. The cool thing was he first taught me to detect them. It wasn't only cool but helpful since a few days later I actually detected some poison in the meat that someone gave Hidan. So I fed it only to Hidan, he was fine. Waste of good poison if you ask me. A few days after that I walked into the kitchen to an interesting dilemma.

"This is my muffin." Hidan announced as I walked through the door.

"No that is the extra muffin that belongs to whoever takes it first which was me, un." Deidara countered.

"But you stole it from me." Kisame whined.

"I could just make more." I offered.

"No, that would waste too much money." Kakuza countered, chewing on his own muffin. I see it's a waste of money since he already has a muffin. I wonder what his response would be if he did not already have a muffin.

"Then who gets this muffin?" Kisame asked.

"Well technically it's my muffin since I made it, but I don't like blueberry muffins." I answered.

"So you get to chose, un." Deidara announced suddenly handing me the muffin.

"I'm on your team." Kisame offered.

"You like my abs." Hidan countered.

"I just gave you the muffin, un." Deidara said.

"Well I could give it to someone based off of personal biases." I started but then had a better more fun for me idea, "Instead I will hold a competition for the muffin."

"What type?" Pein asked coming through the door after obviously listening outside of it.

"Three parts, chosen by me. Winner of each section will also be chosen by me. If I can't decide the impartial judge, um Itachi, will decide who wins." I said hoping Itachi will agree to this.

"I'm in." Kisame said grinning.

"Will there be a cash prize?" Kakuza asked after finishing his muffin.

"No, just the muffin." I informed him.

"I'll win, un." Deidara announced.

"Sounds like fun." Hidan announced.

* * *

Next chapter: The Games

_"Pein, why are you here?" I asked when he showed up in the room where we were having the games._

_"I want a muffin." He answered simply._

_"Okay, good luck then." I said snickering since I knew that Pein would probably not do well at the games since they all require me to be amused in some way. _


	29. the games

To the reviews that tell me when I spell things wrong, Thank You. I have a bad habit of lazy, so I tend not to look up how to spell stuff. Word doesn't help either. So I will make an effort to spell Kakuzu as Kakuzu not Kakuza. If anyone else noticed recurring things like this inform me so I can stop being stupid, and probably pissing someone off, and start being smarter.

This chapter brought to you by: 90 reviews, 10 away from a 100...I am so impressed.

* * *

The Games

Later that day, after I set up all the game stuff…okay I moved the couch into the large empty room…okay fine Kisame moved the couch, I told him where to put it. Actually I told him to put it somewhere then Itachi said to move it over so really Itachi set up the room. He said something about if he was dragged into this he should get a say in where the couch is.

So Itachi, Kakuzu, and I were sitting on the couch—me in the middle of course—as we waited for the others to come for the games.

"Did we ever tell anyone when the games were?" I asked not remembering doing that and realizing we might be waiting here for a while.

"I told Kisame to get everyone after he moved the couch." Itachi informed me.

"I knew having you as judge was a good idea. Kakuzu why are you here?"

"I am here to make sure there is no cash prize." He informed me.

"If there is?" I asked curiously.

"I will take it from whoever wins as muffin tax." Kakuzu answered.

"Do you think that will work?" I asked trying to picture them giving up the money to Kakuzu for muffin tax.

"Worth a try."

"Too bad we won't get to see it since there is no cash prize." Itachi stated reminding me of the fact since I was still imagining them getting suckered out of their money and giggling to myself.

"Oh yeah that." I said as the rest of the Akatsuki started to enter the room.

"Do you mind if I watch?" Konan asked politely. I like her she's nice.

"Nope, but there is no room on the couch." I informed her trying to think of a solution.

"We could have Kisame bring in a chair." Konan suggested.

"Dang it." I heard Kisame mutter.

"No need." Itachi said sliding me onto his lap. "You may sit there."

"You just going to let him do that?" Hidan asked since I just accepted it.

"And I was supposed to stop him how? Plus I will get my revenge." I said not paying attention to the fact that Itachi's arms stayed around my waist and that he pulled me closer to him when I said that.

"How so?" Sasori asked taking a seat on the floor in front of Itachi and me.

"Eventually his legs will fall asleep from my weight being on them." I stated grinning evilly as if I had the most brilliant evil plan ever.

"Akira, you are definitely an interesting person." Kisame said between laughs finding amusement in my evilness.

"Pein, why are you here?" I asked when he showed up in the room where we were having the games.

"I want a muffin." He answered simply.

"Okay, good luck then." I said snickering since I knew that Pein would probably not do well at the games since they all require me to be amused in some way. Since we all know I hate him therefore he will have the disadvantage of me hating him. Who said the muffin games were fair?

"What are the games?" Hidan asked impatiently.

"Well there will be three games, each game will have a winner and the person who wins the most wins."

"So basically whoever gets two out of three wins, wins the games." Sasori stated for some reason.

"Yes but my way sounds more fun."

"What are the games?" Kisame asked knowing that if they didn't get me to focus they could be standing there all day.

"I will introduce the games one at a time." I stated in my announcer/game show host voice.

"You are making them up as we go aren't you?" Itachi asked talking in my ear.

"Hush up you. So for the first game you will have fifty dollars—

"I knew there was money." Kakuzu interrupted.

"They don't get to keep it." I countered.

"Oh, well then continue."

"Thank you. So you will get fifty dollars of Itachi's money and—

"I am not even going to ask how you got the money from my wallet since I now have to keep my money in my pocket to keep it safe." Itachi informed me taking one arm off me to check his pocket of the wallet quickly, to make sure it was still there.

"Are you sure you don't want to know?" I questioned thinking that if I was him I would really want to know.

"I want to know." Kakuzu stated really sounding like he wanted to know.

"It's simple, I knew that after the last time I stole it he would keep a better eye on it so I stole the money then. I just didn't know what I was going to use it for then." I told them causing Kakuzu stare at me.

"I didn't even see her do it." Sasori muttered to himself but I heard him and smiled.

"So back to the muffin games." Pein said annoyed that we were wasting his time. Um does he realize he's wasting his own time, just for a muffin?

"So as I was saying, you will each get fifty dollars of Itachi money to buy me a present. You can use all the money and get me something good, which since me liking the present determines who wins is in your best interest, or you can buy something cheap, loose, and keep the extra."

"I will know how much each of you spend and any extra will be returned to me." Itachi growled probably with the Sharingan out.

"So I'm allowed to use your money but they aren't?" I questioned confused by his logic since, obviously, I probably use more than they would.

"There's a big difference between you and them, I care about your happiness and I could care less if they die." Itachi informed me.

"That's mean." I scolded.

"It's okay, Akira, we feel the same way about him." Hidan told me.

"Actually now that you mention it I would be effected by one of their deaths." Itachi stated looking contemplative, well he looked emotionless like usual but in my world he looked contemplative.

"Really?" Kisame questioned wondering if perhaps the Uchiha decided to start caring about his well being.

"Yes, I would be ecstatic if Hidan died." Itachi informed me glaring at Hidan and showing off the fact that he was holding me be moving one of his arms to lay in front of my shoulders.

"That's evil." I stated knowing that Itachi was serious.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Why are you all still here? Did I mention you only have one hour to shop and it started about five minutes ago?" I questioned causing those participating to quickly disappear.

"Why are we in this large room if you were just going to send them out?" Konan asked looking around the room.

"We wouldn't have had to make Kisame bring in the couch then." Itachi mused.

"Dramatic effect." I stated with a completely serious face, causing Konan to raise her eyebrow and Itachi to sigh. "Well we might use it for the other two games."

"You really are making this up as you go along." Itachi sighed.

"Of course, like I would plan for this. I am only doing it for my own amusement, you should know that." I stated shifting to get more comfortable.

"I'm going to get a chair." Konan stated deciding that she wanted a chair, obviously.

"Me too." Sasori stated getting up also.

"Might as well get comfortable myself." Kakuzu stated getting up to get his own chair.

"Did they just leave us alone in a room? On a couch?" I asked Itachi, I even tried to look at him but failed miserably since my head doesn't spin that far.

"Yes they did." Itachi purred. Well not really but he said it really low and seductively, although if he can growl he can probably purr.

"Hey if they all get their own chairs won't we have the entire couch?" I asked him contemplating something.

"I suppose so, why?" Itachi asked intrigued.

"I'm thinking about taking a nap until they get back." I answered him back.

"You only sent them out for an hour." Itachi reminded me.

"Oh yeah, that would be a crappy nap. What am I going to do now? I will be bored." I whined.

"I can think of something we can do." Itachi said suddenly flipping us over with his cool ninja skills so that I was now laying on the couch as he hovered over me.

"Are your legs at least numb?" I questioned him causing him to smirk down at me, I'm in trouble.

"Not one bit." Itachi said moving his face closer to mine until he was kissing me. As usual I was shocked, okay I wasn't really shocked but that's my excuse for not fighting. His hand was just about to go somewhere it shouldn't be aka my shirt (especially if they are cold) when Kakuzu came into the room. Apparently whatever memo Itachi sent out telling everyone to leave the room and not come back was not sent to Kakuzu, or he ignored it, either way Kakuzu interrupted Itachi.

"Don't let me stop you." Kakuzu stated putting down his bean bag chair on the floor.

"Why do you have a bean bag chair?" I asked completely not acknowledging the fact that Itachi was still hovering over me.

"It was cheaper for me to make then a regular chair. I only had to buy fabric and the beans, then make it." Kakuzu explained as he sat down, sinking into the chair slightly. Then, as if Kakuzu entering the room was a sign that it was okay to enter, Sasori and Konan came back.

"There goes my plan of amusement." Itachi mumbled unhappily.

"Anyways, I guess we just have to wait for them to come back." I stated right as Pein walked in. "That was quick."

"I left extra ingredients to bake muffins in the pantry and the fridge and I bought these muffins. Konan come, we will enjoy them in the office." Pein stated when he came in the room carrying a box of fresh muffins. He was about to leave but I guess he felt Itachi glare at him.

"My change?" Itachi asked still glaring and still hovering. Pein seemed to have just noticed the state that we were in because his eyebrow rose when he looked at us. I swear ninja sometimes are just way too oblivious.

"Here's the change." Pein stated handing it to Itachi who then flipped us once more so that I was lying on him, that means I get the money sweet. It was probably so that Itachi wouldn't crush me but shhh I took the money anyway. When I took it Itachi sighed and Kakuzu stared at the money.

"Did you want this back?" I questioned making myself comfortable laying on my Itachi pillow.

"I would." He admitted much to Kakuzu's disappointment. I suddenly got a very evil, extremely stupid, idea. I decided I would give him back the money right then. I put the money into my left hand, since that was the one facing the front of the couch and then scooted my body over until I could see his pocket and I slipped the money in there. I then nonchalantly moved myself back and got comfortable again. As if I had done nothing.

"Well that was amusing." Sasori stated to remind us that he was still there.

"He wanted his money back." I said as if that explains my behavior but I couldn't keep the smirk off my face. Apparently smirks and evilness is contagious.

"You definitely wouldn't have been able to get into that pocket without me noticing." Itachi stated before snatching the hand that had entered his pocket with his hand. I guess to keep it from being bad?

"We're back!" Kisame announced as the three who wanted a muffin entered the room.

"You look comfortable." Hidan growled out at Itachi and me. I noticed that Hidan was carrying an oddly large sack that he set on the floor in the corner.

"I am." Itachi stated smirking and making a show of sniffing my hair. Okay sniffing my hair is creepy.

"I'm back, un!" Deidara announced happily. Apparently all the evil criminals had fun shopping for me, odd.

"So what did you get me?" I asked excitedly attempting to sit up but failing due to Itachi.

"Change first." Itachi ordered.

"How're you gonna get it?" Hidan asked mockingly.

"Give it to Akira." Itachi answered.

"You could give it to me instead." Kakuzu answered hopefully. Unfortunately for him they listened to Itachi and gave me the money.

"Akira can I have the change?" Itachi asked with a smirk, oh great I gave him ideas.

"Can I have my hand back? Also I'd like to be able to sit up." I informed him.

"Fine, but you have to give it back like you did Pein's money." Itachi stated.

"What did Pein get you?" Kisame asked.

"Nothing," I stated as Itachi let me sit up on the couch but he kept one arm around my shoulders, "He got himself some muffins from the town. Since for fifty dollars you could buy a lot of muffins."

"I feel really stupid right now." all three of them muttered in unison. Well they said other things but the idea was basically the same.

"My change?" Itachi reminded me causing me to roll my eyes.

"Jeesh Itachi I never knew you were such a stickler with your money." Hidan pointed out. I ignored Hidan and Itachi's smirk and I took the money and slipped it into Itachi's pocket. Hidan then freaked out and stared wide eyed at Itachi. "What was that?"

"She was returning the money." Itachi stated calmly, like usual.

"I should have never done it." I sighed to myself then remembered I had presents. "What'd you guys get me?"

"I got you a pretty necklace, un!" Deidara said showing off his looks-oddly-like-a-girl shopping powers.

"I got you this kid." Hidan said showing me some poor starving looking kid that was shaking in fear. How no one noticed the kid before was beyond me, maybe he was in that sack. Poor kid. The kid then took this as an invitation to run over to me and hug my legs for dear life since I looked least threatening of them all.

"I got you a book." Kisame stated showing me the book.

"Okay I held off my comments until you all were done," I stated allowing the poor starving kid to continue to clutch my legs, "But I have to ask, why a kid?"

"You can do lots of things with young kids, you can sacrifice them." Hidan stated excitedly, as if he had done it many times which he probably has.

"What am I supposed to do with him?" I asked more specifically.

"Anything that you want." Hidan answered, "I bought him from the orphanage so there will be no one looking for him don't worry."

"Okay. Deidara, why did you get me a necklace with a carved wooden sandal on it?"

"I thought it was pretty, un!" he answered.

"You have no idea of what true art is." Sasori mocked.

"Art is a bang!" Deidara countered.

"Whatever. Kisame you got me a book that is just a bunch of fairytale stories. It is clear who the winner is." I said causing all three of them to smile stupidly. "Kisame."

"What, but I got you a kid."

"Who I have no clue what to do with." I answered causing the kid to whimper and try to clutch harder to my poor pants. Poor little kid.

"I vote we give him back." Itachi stated not liking the kid at all.

"I vote we sell him to slave traders." Kakuzu stated measuring the kid with his eyes to see how much money he could get.

"I could eat him for you." Zetsu stated appearing out of the floor scaring the kid so bad that he, I had determined the kid was a him after looking for a bit, ended up in my lap clutching my shirt now.

"He would be easier to keep if he was a puppet." Sasori stated in his usual emotionless way.

"Okay guys leave the poor kid alone; he's mine so I will decide what to do with him." I countered hugging the kid hoping to make him feel better.

"Wait till the leader hears about this." Kisame muttered.

"So what's the next game?" Hidan asked, completely ignoring the problem he caused by giving me some kid. Oh crap that means not only do I have to decide what to do with this kid but also what to do for the next game.

* * *

I have no idea why I wrote that Hidan gave her a kid other than I could see him doing that. It might be like the fillers in the anime where all new characters introduced in them suddenly never appear again, or I might actually do something with the kid. I don't know yet. I also did not mean for the muffin games to be this long but I got into it so they became this way. One more game chapter and then back to the storyline, hopefully. Beware the Tangents of Doom! On the bright side since I got into it the chapter is actually longer than usual.

* * *

Preview from next chapter: the muffin games part 2

_"What's your name?" Itachi growled out at the kid._

_"Yeah, that's going to make him answer, growling at the poor thing." I said sarcastically allowing the kid to continue to hide his face in my shirt, not that I could really pry him off._

_"I don't want to know his name." Kakuzu stated exiting the room leaving: Itachi, the kid, and me, alone. The kid took this opportunity to sneak a peek at the room._

_"What's your name?" Itachi repeated, actually not growling this time. The kid's response was to bury his head in my shirt once more._

_"He don't like you." I pointed out laughing._


	30. The Muffin Games part 2

So close to a hundred reviews...so close and yet so far...well not really far at all but dramatic effect.

I just realized I am uploading on valentines day! Sadly there is not much mushy stuff in this chapter just hilarity...oh well

Oh my, This is chapter 30! I wrote 30 chapters! Without getting writer's block and stopping the story!

This chapter brought to you by: Pein stealing Kakashi...if you have read the most recent manga you know what I am talking about. Also why didn't Naruto say anything about Shizune if he could sense everyone's chakra tell if someone was missing?

* * *

The Muffin Games part 2

Okay so they all are staring at me as I have no clue what to do for the next game. I also have no clue what to do with this poor kid. Maybe I should somehow combine my two problems into one magic solution…which would be? I know I could say the next game is to give me ideas of what to do with the poor kid. That sounds brilliant, I will do that.

"The next game is decided." I announced all formally.

"You're making these up as you go along." Deidara whined.

"I never said I wasn't. I will give you all one hour to decide what to do with the kid. I may or may not decide to actually use the winner's idea, so don't worry." I announced addressing the kid for the last part.

"Why an hour?" Deidara asked.

"So that you will have time to _think _before giving your suggestion." Then I looked at Hidan and said, "I am giving you this advice, _think_!"

"Fine." Hidan said, although I suspect that no matter how much time I give him he will still want to sacrifice the poor thing.

"You all are dismissed." I informed them after they were just standing there for a while as I waved them regally out of the room. Well I thought it was regal it could have just be me using some shoo-ing motion to get them to leave.

"I still say we should sell him to the slave traders." Kakuzu said looking at the kid.

"I am going to get Pein to see if he will even allow the kid to stay." Sasori informed us.

"I forgot that I needed permission to do stuff like that." I muttered unhappily to myself.

"What's your name?" Itachi growled out at the kid.

"Yeah, that's going to make him answer, growling at the poor thing." I said sarcastically allowing the kid to continue to hide his face in my shirt, not that I could really pry him off.

"I don't want to know his name." Kakuzu stated exiting the room leaving: Itachi, the kid, and me, alone. The kid took this opportunity to sneak a peek at the room.

"What's your name?" Itachi repeated, actually not growling this time. The kid's response was to bury his head in my shirt once more.

"He don't like you." I pointed out laughing.

"The feeling is mutual then."

"Hey, kid, do you even have a name?" I asked looking down at the kid. He looked up at me and shook his head sadly.

"That will get annoying."

"I think that it's cool," I said but then I noticed Itachi had his eyebrow raised in confusion, "that means that I get to name him!"

"Poor kid." Itachi muttered.

"You're just upset because he is preventing you from molesting me." I pointed out randomly patting the kid on the head. Good kid, keep Itachi from molesting people.

"Yes," Itachi admitted, "I also dislike him sitting in your lap."

"Possessive much?"

"Very."

"That was rhetorical."

"Where's the kid?" Pein asked walking into the room. I swear these ninja need to work on their observation skills.

"Perhaps the kid that you are looking for might be the one in my lap." I suggested sarcastically.

"I knew that." Pein growled back at me.

"Sure you did, that's why you asked where he was." I said sarcastically.

"Whatever." Pein said looking at the kid clutching me as usual.

"Can I keep him?" I asked as if I was asking for a puppy. I want a puppy. Okay kid first puppy later.

"I don't care." Pein said wondering why we called him in the first place.

"Yay!" I announced happily.

"I care." Itachi muttered but I was ignoring him so I didn't notice.

"I want to see the kid." Konan announced entering the room. "He's so cute!"

"Pein actually is letting him stay." I informed her as if Pein wouldn't have tole her.

"Can I hold him?" Konan asked not waiting for an answer and trying to snatch him from my lap. He just held on tighter and whimpered. Did I get a puppy or a kid? A koala?

"It seems he does not want to go to you." Pein said stupidly ignoring the glare Konan sent at him.

"But I just want to hold him and shower him with affection, why doesn't he like me?" Konan complained.

"I don't think it's personal," I explained, "I think he's scared and just feels comfortable with me since I seemingly saved him from Hidan."

"Oh, well I will wait until he likes me then." She muttered randomly leaving the room and having Pein follow her.

"Are you actually going to keep him?" Sasori asked unusually curious.

"I don't know, but at least for a while." I answered honestly.

"It would be easier to keep him if he was a puppet." Sasori said apparently still stuck on the idea of turning the poor kid into a puppet.

"No, it's more fun when kids are alive. Plus puppets can't stop Itachi from molesting me."

"I hate that kid." Itachi muttered to himself sulking.

* * *

After that hour has passed (Kakuza came back in muttering about money)

"So what have you come up with, Hidan you first since you brought the kid into the equation?" I asked after finally getting the kid to release my shirt and face the front. Finally, the kid is like a koala or something.

"I want to sacrifice him." Hidan said smirking at the kid who immediately turned and clutched to my shirt again.

"Dang it, I just got him to let go. No, I was hoping you would come up with something else. You fail next."

"I think we should sell him to slave traders." Kisame answered sheepishly.

"That's a brilliant idea." Kakuzu agreed.

"Um, no. Poor kid is traumatized enough without selling him into slavery." I announced.

"I vote that we keep him for a while, maybe try to teach him to cook or clean, un." Deidara said.

"What happens after a while?" I asked.

"We find a nice home for him, un?" Deidara asked.

"What are we an adoption agency?" Kakuzu muttered.

"Okay Deidara wins and I have decided to keep the kid until further notice, also he will be called Aki because I said so." I informed everyone.

"So what's the last task?" Kisame asked hoping to get one he would win.

"The last task is um...whoever has cooler abs wins!" I announced happily.

"Why did we have to move the couch in this room for that?" Kisame asked whining.

"I thought I would think of something that needed more space, I guess I was wrong." I said happily.

"So how exactly are we going to do this, un?" Deidara asked.

"You three take off your shirts and I will poke you in the abs then decide who's abs I like better." I announced seriously.

"What type of game is this?" Kakuzu asked.

"This is what you question? No the fact that three men are fighting for a muffin, or the fact that the second _game_ was deciding what to do with a kid? No you draw the line at the best abs contest."

"Forget I said anything." He muttered.

"Um, Aki," I said nicely noticing that the guys had taken off their shirts but the kid was still clutching my shirt, "I need to get up now."

"'kay." Aki said in a cute little voice and released my shirt and hopped off my lap. He decided that it was still necessary to clutch some part of my clothing so he became attached to my pant leg as I inspected the abs.

"You did this just as an excuse to poke us in the abs didn't you?" Kisame asked as I grinned happily while poking him in the abs he knows me well.

"Yup." I answered. "Winner is Hidan. That means it's a three way tie for the win. That means that it is up to Itachi to decide who gets the muffin."

"Who gets the muffin?" Kisame asked looking at Itachi hoping that Itachi's utter loathing of the other two participants would allow him to win the muffin.

"The winner is no one. The muffin was mine in the first place so I ate it before the games even started. As for you three, you all are idiots." Itachi announced causing me to laugh hysterically until the dangerous criminal ninjas glared at me. I then decided it would be safer if I picked up the kid and ran into my room, so I did. Luckily for me either they were too much in shock to run after me or Itachi stopped them, either way I made it to Itachi's room without being stopped or more importantly killed. I really should learn not to laugh at dangerous criminals.

* * *

That night Aki and I spent the night in Itachi's bed. Itachi was there too but I was ignoring that fact. I was hugging little Aki like a little teddy bear (or a koala) and Itachi was still my pillow. Unlike usual however I was not sleeping directly on him and only was using his stomach as a pillow and not his chest.

The next morning I was woken up by Itachi getting up. This was different too since usually Itachi will either not wake me when he gets up or wakes me up personally so that I let go of him. He never tries to slip away like he is doing now.

"Where you going Itachi?" I asked sleepily.

"To find that thing a home." Itachi said gesturing to Aki.

"But I want to keep him a little longer." I whined but then noticed how serious Itachi was being. Stupid possessive Uchiha. "Fine, could you try to find him a home in or near Suna?"

"Why?" Itachi asked unable to figure that one out.

"That way I know exactly where he is."

"What about Konoha?" Itachi asked.

"Konoha is in a forest right?"

"Yes."

"I get lost in forests right?"

"Yes."

"So how the hell would I ever be able to find Konoha on my own?"

"How are you expecting to find Suna?"

"Look for a large desert and then look for something in it. I don't really see how I could miss it."

"Fine, I'll look in Suna first."

"Buy me a souvenir."

"I'm not going on vacation."

"But I've never been to Suna and I want to live vicariously through you." I whined.

"Fine I will buy you something."

"Say hi to Gaara for me if you see him."

"I will not."

"Fine, he would probably just glare back at you anyway."

"Just go back to sleep and stop this nonsense."

"I'll go back to sleep but I will make no promises on the nonsense." I told him moving my head so that it was on the actual pillow for once. Wow pillows are so soft. Who would have thought it?

* * *

Preview from next chapter: A mission...for me?

_"Aw, you're so cute. Too bad Itachi won't let me keep you." I said hugging him before I got out of the bed._

_"'Achi?" Aki said as his attempt at Itachi's name. _

_"Yes, 'achi," I replied smirking evilly as I imagined everyone in the akatsuki calling him that when he returns, "He's off trying to find you a home as we speak." _

_"I wanna stay, 'ere." Aki said sadly clinging to my pants once more. I though he got over the clinging like a koala thing. He's lucky I didn't name him Koala, the thought crossed my mind._


	31. A missionfor me?

I started writing another Fanfiction that I plan on uploading today, I already wrote a couple of chapters. It should not interfere with me writing this one since I love this one because it is the most loved.

It will be a SasukeXOcXGaara fic, no Itachi sorry Itachi fans. I have included the summary at the end. Shameless advertisements are fun. The story is called Failure to Fangirl.

This chapter brought to you by: Over a 100 reviews. I love you all. In a purely reviewer/writer type way. Yeah, not awkward at all...

* * *

A Mission...for me?

A while later I woke up once more to find that Aki was awake and staring at me with his cute gray eyes. Gray? Who has gray eyes? Oh well, at least he has a pupil in his eyes unlike some ninja.

"Good morning Aki."

"'orning." Aki replied cutely back.

"Aw, you're so cute. Too bad Itachi won't let me keep you." I said hugging him before I got out of the bed.

"'Achi?" Aki said as his attempt at Itachi's name.

"Yes, 'achi," I replied smirking evilly as I imagined everyone in the akatsuki calling him that when he returns, "He's off trying to find you a home as we speak."

"I wanna stay, 'ere." Aki said sadly clinging to my pants once more. I though he got over the clinging like a koala thing. He's lucky I didn't name him Koala, the thought had crossed my mind.

"You can't because Itachi is a mean possessive man." I informed the kid bluntly.

"'eaner den 'Idan?" Aki said as I tried to figure out what in the world he just said. Then it clicked.

"Well yes and no. Hidan wants to sacrifice you and Itachi wants to be rid of you." I informed him noticing the confused look he got after I said sacrifice, "Sacrifice means kill."

"Why?" He asked looking around the room as if Hidan was going to pop out of the closet and kill him. What would Hidan be doing in my closet? He better not touch my clothes.

"That's what he does. Itachi however doesn't like you because you like me and he is jealous." I said noticing that he still didn't quite get it, "He wishes he was you because I pay more attention to you than him." I explained very generally.

"You paid 'tention to 'Idan afore." Aki said logically. Wow this kids logic seems to be better than my own.

"And that my little friend," I said patting him on the head before lifting him up to carry him to the kitchen, "Is why Itachi does not like Hidan."

"Oh." Aki said looking like he just figured out the meaning of life. Maybe he did. I should ask him what it is later.

* * *

"Akira." Itachi called later that day when he came back. Wow that was fast, he's good at this finding people homes thing. If he ever decides not to be a ninja I know what job he should do.

"Hi Itachi!" I shouted happily since I was in a good mood after playing with Aki all day.

"'Achi!" Aki exclaimed, not happily but shocked, then hid behind me.

"'Achi?" Itachi asked stopping mid step as he walked towards me.

"Your name according to Aki." I informed him.

"Whatever, I found him a home in Suna. They will take him within the week and they are situated in the outskirts of Suna so it will be easier to sneak in to visit." Itachi informed me pausing between sentences to glare at Aki, as if the kid wasn't scared of him enough.

"You're going to let me visit him?" I asked happily.

"Yes, besides you'd do it anyway." Itachi stated simply.

"You're right I would." I said before tackle hugging him happily causing Itachi to smirk. Itachi also decided that was an invitation to grope me and grabbed my bum. I kicked him in the shins then ran, with Aki. I was caught in about 2 seconds but I tried.

* * *

"My dear little Aki remember me!" I said hugging the cute little thing as I was supposed to be giving him to his new family. Stupid Itachi actually found him a nice home in Suna with a mom and a dad and a puppy and I want to live here too!

"Let him go Akira." Itachi said.

"But he's my little koala, who will hug me at random times?" I questioned tears in my eyes, still holding Aki who was loving the attention from me. Itachi's response to my comment was to hug me from behind. "That's a grown-up hug. I want a little kid or small furry animal hug."

"Aki will be better off here." Itachi said into my ear not letting me go.

"Akira, we will take good care of Aki." the women who wanted Aki informed me.

"Fine, take him. I will be back to visit though." I said almost as a threat.

"That will be lovely." the women responded taking Aki from me. Aki immediately tried to reach for me again.

"Koala!" I said reaching to take him back but being stopped by Itachi.

"'ira!" Aki shouted his name for me out. "Won day 'achi gibe 'ira to Aki." Aki said glaring at Itachi. Yeah he definitely learned that glare from Itachi and not me.

"What did he just say?" Itachi asked not being able to understand little kid.

"I think he thinks that you are taking me away and that one day you will give me back?" I said a little unsure.

"Aki tak 'ira 'ack." Aki said nodding to himself as if he just thought of some ingenious plan.

"He's so cute!" the women, whose name I forgot, said hugging Aki to her.

"What did he say that time." Itachi asked his eyes narrowing.

"Um, you don't want to know." I said.

"If I didn't want to know I wouldn't have asked."

"Fine, he said that he would take me back. I guess that means that if I am not given back to him he will grow up and take me back." I said noting the intensified glare that Itachi gave the poor kid.

"Mine." Itachi said to Aki right before picking me up in preparation for us traveling back.

"Bye Aki see you soon be good!" I called over Itachi's shoulder as he carried me away.

"Bye!" Aki called back.

"Good bye!" the couple that now are Aki's parents called back.

"Did you seriously just tell a kid that I was yours and not his?" I asked as we were traveling through the trees."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"He needed to know." Itachi said simply.

"I am not even going to try to figure out what goes through your mind." I said shaking my head at him.

* * *

Time Skip...(Before Shippuden but not too much, yeah because that's specific)

"You wanted to see me oh-mighty-one?" I asked walking into Pein's office.

"I have a mission for you." He announced.

"Itachi didn't mention a mission." I mused.

"Itachi is not going on the mission."

"What?"

"The mission is just for you."

"A mission, for me?" I asked wondering how there could be such a thing.

"Yes."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" I asked seriously.

"Yes I am sure."

"You are aware that I get lost easily right?" I asked wondering how he could possible think of sending me out into the world by myself. That is just stupid.

"You've already been there."

"I still find myself at Sasori's room everytime I try to go anywhere." I argued back.

"I'm sending you with Hidan and Kakuzu."

"So they have the mission too."

"No they are just going in the same direction. The mission is just for you."

"Did Itachi agree with this?"

"He has no choice I am the leader."

"You are going to have one angry Uchiha on your hands."

"Will you shut up and just let me tell you your mission?"

"No, and you're just angry because it is true and you didn't think of it."

"Whatever. Your mission is to be Akatsuki's ambassador to Orochimaru."

"You're sending me back there?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"You fit in there so well last time you were there."

"I was a slave."

"No one killed you."

"I was a slave, it would have been too much work to kill me."

"You got along well with Orochimaru."

"I did everything he asked me, because I was a slave."

"You have friends there."

"My friend, whose slave I was, died during my last mission."

"Well I still think that you will be the best choice."

"Why not send my entire team? Don't give the the catching the nine-tails crap answer because I know that you are saving him for last."

"Orochimaru hates Itachi, plus Sasuke is there."

"Oh great I forgot Sasuke was there. Sasuke knows that I know Itachi do you know how annoying he will be. He will probably demand to know where the Akatsuki base is."

"Will you tell him?" Pein asked wondering about my loyalty.

"It is a moot point if I told him or not since I have no clue where the base is located since I have no sense of direction. He will still be annoying."

"Aren't you even curious as to why we want to send an ambassador to Orochimaru?"

"To make sure that he is not too powerful and to spy on him?" I questioned as the leader looked at me shocked. Just because my thought process is off doesn't mean it is broken. I just have a very odd way of looking at things.

"Anyway you will leave for the mission first thing tomorrow."

"Okay, fine. I am only doing this because Tobi has taken to stalking me and he really creeps me out with his swirly mask."

"You are dismissed."

* * *

For those who are sad that Aki is leaving don't despair because I might include some sort of ending thing where I finish off some chapters with a short storys about Akira and Aki, since everyone seems really attached (including me although I find it annoying to write his speech).

* * *

Preview from Next chapter: An Angry Uchiha

_"Who is going with you? Kisame?" Itachi asked knowing that Kisame would keep me safe or he would suffer. Actually that is true for all members but there are some that Itachi does not trust with me, like Hidan or Zetsu._

_"Hidan and Kakuzu."_

_"He's sending you with Hidan!" Itachi said finally giving the angry reaction I was hoping to get for the fact that I was going alone. He sat up quickly in bed and glared with his sharingan activated. What did he glare at you ask? The wall that faced the direction that the leader was in. How did I know that the particular wall was the one that was in the direction that the leader was in, since I have no sense of direction? Simple, I guessed._

* * *

Failure to Fangirl:

Nami tries to make friends in the ninja academy by fan-girl-ing everyone but Sasuke (Who is impressed with her lack of fan-girl-ing him), she fails and decides just to fan-girl Naruto for fun (Since Naruto needs the confidence boost). That is until Gaara (Who she actually wants to fan-girl) appears. GaaNamiSasu

excerpt from the first chapter:

_"How would I bake pie?" he asked blinking at me confused and then staring at me with wide eyes._

_"I don't know, but I wouldn't mind if I had some pie right now." I informed him as if that was a good answer to his complaint. _

_"Mmm, pie!" this large boy that I didn't notice before because he was behind me started to dream about pie. _

_"See he wants pie too."_

_"But I can't bake pie in class." Naruto whined forgetting to whisper._

_"I am not talking about pie baking, Naruto," Iruka-sensei scolded, "I was explaining chakra. Since you weren't listening what is chakra?"_

_"Um, I dunno." Naruto answered._


	32. An Angry Uchiha

This chapter brought to you by: Reflection papers. Why must I keep reflecting over what I learn? I learned it didn't I? That should be enough. No I must reflect upon my learning and write papers about it.

An Angry Uchiha

I went from Pein's office right to Itachi's room since it was late.

"What did the leader want?" Itachi asked already lying in the bed.

"He assigned me a mission. I leave tomorrow. Without you." I said hoping he would get angry.

"Oh, why tomorrow?" Itachi asked seemingly not bothered at all by the without him part.

"I don't know, because he's nice like that?" I asked going into the bathroom to change. Pajamas are nice.

"Who is going with you? Kisame?" Itachi asked knowing that Kisame would keep me safe or he would suffer. Actually that is true for all members but there are some that Itachi does not trust with me, like Hidan or Zetsu.

"Hidan and Kakuzu."

"He's sending you with Hidan!" Itachi said finally giving the angry reaction I was hoping to get for the fact that I was going alone. He sat up quickly in bed and glared with his sharingan activated. What did he glare at you ask? The wall that faced the direction that the leader was in. How did I know that the particular wall was the one that was in the direction that the leader was in, since I have no sense of direction? Simple, I guessed.

"You don't seem very angry about me having a mission by myself." I noted trying to be sly but failing miserably.

"We all have solo missions eventually." Itachi explained.

"No you don't almost all of you always go off in pairs all the time. Most of you would opt out of partners if that was a choice."

"Just come to bed we will deal with it in the morning." Itachi said obviously avoiding the topic.

"You all are hiding something from me. I leave in the morning remember."

"Then you should get some sleep."

"What about Hidan?" I asked sitting on the edge of the bed hoping to keep him in the mood for stopping my mission. For some reason I felt like this mission was a bad idea.

"I will just have to make sure that he knows you belong to me and not him." Itachi stated smirking right before he pulled me by the waist so that I was lying on the bed next to him. "Right?" he asked directly into my ear and breathing on my neck.

"How are you going to do that?" I asked confused.

"Like this." Itachi said immediately beginning to suck on my neck biting down slightly.

"You just gave me a hicky didn't you?" I asked completely shocked by his actions.

"Yes, it proves that you are mine."

"I would yell at you for so many things if I wasn't so tired right now." I said turning myself around in his arms and snuggling into his chest. The joys of having an Itachi pillow.

* * *

The next morning I was awoken by a knock on the door. The reason it is I and not we is because I am pretty sure that Itachi is always awake before me and just stares at me until I wake up. My proof is the fact that he is always staring at me when I wake up and the fact that Itachi is a stalker. Anyway, as usual I responded by trying to ignore it and go to sleep.

"There are here to pick you up for your mission." Itachi pointed out making no move to force me awake.

"Oh yeah, that. My mission with Hidan." I said teasing him while still lying on him.

"I meant to talk to the leader about that."

"Too late now, I guess I will have to have fun with Hidan." I replied starting to get up but being pulled back down by Itachi. He quickly checked my neck ans confirmed that the 'love bite' he gave me last night was still there.

"At least that's still there." Itachi said conceding and letting me get up, not that I want to get up. Not at all I was quite comfortable. Besides the fact that I do not have a good feeling about this mission.

"Thank goodness." I replied back sarcastically. Although if you think about it wouldn't Hidan take the hicky as a challenge. Stupid Itachi now I will have to be molested because of you, not that I wouldn't have been anyway, blaming Itachi for all my problems was my best thought ever.

"Did leader tell you how long you will be gone?" Itachi asked not knowing the details of my mission at all other than the fact that I have to travel with Hidan and Kakuzu. I would bet that even if I told him he would only have heard the Hidan part of the explination.

"No. I really have no clue. It could be a day. It could be a week, a month, or possibly even a year!" I said my tone a weird mix between taunting and a bit of sadness. I truthfully didn't want to think that much about leaving Itachi for that long. How will I sleep? Normal pillows are too fluffy.

"Hey! Akira, are you coming!" Hidan's voice called from behind the door causing Itachi to growl possessively.

"Well I shouldn't keep Hidan wait--" I began to say but I was cut off by Itachi pushing me against the door that was being pounded upon by Hidan and kissing me. I thought about not seeing Itachi for a while so I put my arms around him and deepened the kiss. Itachi was shocked for a bit, so was I, since I usually don't respond so well to the kisses. I guess I was just thinking about how I would be missing him.

"What are you two doing in there? I can't open the door!" Hidan shouted through the door. He can't open the door due to mine and Itachi's weight resting against it. We finished making out after a few minutes.

"I guess I actually should go." I said sadly really not wanting to leave for some reason.

"Go." Itachi ordered stepping away from me and glaring at Hidan who opened the door once our weight was no longer resting against it. Itachi refused to look at me and kept his distance while glaring at the bed.

"Bye." I said moving to pick up my bags but Hidan beat me to it.

"Come on." Hidan said dragging me out of the room leaving a glaring Uchiha behind.

"What were the two of you doing standing against the door?" Hidan asked.

"Making out." I answered smirking and skipping over to Kakuzu who opted to wait patiently by the exit.

"What's wrong?" Kakuzu asked noticing that I was looking around in shock.

"I actually found my way to the door without winding up in Sasori's room!" I said completely serious.

"Let's just go already." Hidan said annoyed with the lack of progress.

"Akira-chan is leaving? But Tobi is a good boy!" I heard Tobi shout as he was down the hall and spotted the three of us.

"Let's go." I said starting to try to push Hidan out the door to get away from Tobi.

"Now you're talking." Hidan laughed turning around to hoist me on his shoulder like Itachi used to do.

"If you grope my butt I will kick you where it will hurt a lot." I warned meaning it completely.

"Just a little?" Hidan asked and I could practically feel his hand itching to tough my bum.

"No." I replied quickly. "How do you put up with him?" I asked Kakuzu since he was behind Hidan and thus I can actually look at him while I talk.

"It's not really putting up with him. It's more of a neither-one-of-us-will-die thing." Kakuzu explained as we sailed through the trees.

"Oh I get it now. So basically the only one in danger is me then?" I asked using my awesome logic.

"No, I wouldn't kill you. Molest you yes, kill you no." Hidan answered me. Don't know whether to be happy or creeped out or possibly scared by that answer.

"I won't harm you either, you're not an idiot like he is." Kakuzu said calling Hidan an idiot.

"Well this is a lovely trip, are we there yet?" I asked.

* * *

"Welcome." Kabuto said once we reached Orochimaru's base. Apparently he was sent there to greet us and escort us inside.

"Hi Kabuto!" I greeted happily.

"Ah, Akira, nice to see you."

"Let's just go inside already." Hidan complained glaring at Kabuto for no apparent reason. I assume he has a reason, I just don't know what it is.

"Very well, come with me." Kabuto said escorting us through the base. I ignored any stares that wee directed my way and Hidan glared at them so they ran away. I will need to find a new glare shield for while I am here since Itachi and Hidan will not be here. Kabuto walked into a room with two doors and held open one of the doors for us so that we could walk in. Hidan being the wonderful and considerate person that he is decided to walk through the center of the two doors and slam the other door, the one Kabuto was not holding, open as he entered. Kakuzu followed after him catching the door as it tried to close and holding that door open for me so that I could walk through the doorway.

"Was that really necessary?" I whispered to Kakuzu as I walked next to him into the large room.

"No, but I find it's better just to ignore him and pretend nothing happened."

"I get it." I replied.

"You three must be the ambassadors from Akatsuki." Orochimaru greeted.

"No." Hidan said plainly.

"Akira is the only one that is going to stay here, we were merely escorting her here." Kakuzu elaborated on Hidan's no.

"I was told to inform you, by our leader, that if you harm, hurt, kill, emotionally scar for life, or experiment on Akira then you will have made an enemy out of the Akatsuki." Hidan said sounding like he had memorize the speech just for this. Actually he probably did memorize the speech just for this.

"I wouldn't dream of it." Orochimaru said evilly, well evilly in my opinion.

"Good, our job is done." Kakuzu announced turning to me and saying, "Bye Akira." before leaving.

"Akira don't make out with random people." Hidan told me causing my eyes to widen in shock.

"When have I ever done that?" I asked really confused.

"This morning." Hidan clarified.

"That was Itachi not random people."

"It wasn't me."

"When did you get making-out-with-Akira privilege?" I asked.

"Well, have fun anyway bye Akira." Hidan said since he had no comeback. Hidan turned as if he was going to leave right away but instead he smacked my bum and walked swiftly out of the room.

"I will get you for that later." I called to him as he left. "Hello, Orochimaru."

"Welcome Akira, this is certainly a pleasant surprise." Orochimaru greeted back with a huge smirk on his face.

* * *

Preview from next chapter: Another Angry Uchiha

_"That man with the silver hair said that you were making out with my brother." Sasuke asked for clarification as he held my arm to ensure that I could not escape, "I thought that you were kidnapped by the Akatsuki."_

_"Well both are true." I answered trying to find some way to placate the angry Uchiha._

_"Do you always make out with your kidnappers?" He growled out._

_"No, you don't see me kissing Orochimaru do you?" I asked and then was rewarded by a mental picture of that happening. Ew! Make it stop make it stop!_


	33. Another Angry Uchiha

This chapter brought to you by: Ice Cream, because it is delicious.

Another Angry Uchiha

"Do you really have to smirk at me?" I questioned Orochimaru feeling much better knowing that Pein actually cared if I died on this mission, as opposed to the last mission I went on where he plotted my demise.

"Akira I am just so happy that they chose to send you to me." He stated with one of those evil giggles at the end. Evil-giggle-laugh-things really creep me out.

"Why is that?" I asked curiously.

"Well we have recently acquired a new member to our shinobi and he seems to be a bit anti-social but I am sure that won't bother you at all." Orochimaru said with his I-am-making-fun-of-someone-face.

"Stop talking about me as if I am not here." Sasuke growled out appearing from the side of the room. I didn't even notice he was there, what a good ninja he is.

"Maybe if you didn't hide so well he wouldn't." I stated logically, well my logic anyway.

"Isn't this a lovely reunion for the two of you? I am sure you have oodles to talk about so Sasuke I am assigning you to show her to her room." Orochimaru said still with his I-am-making-fun-of-someone-face. (Imagine Orochimaru saying the word oodles…)

"Fine." Sasuke sighed. Stupid Orochimaru making me go with Sasuke who wants to kill Itachi. That's a brilliant idea…sarcasm.

"I'll, uh, see you around Orochimaru?" I said as I was being dragged out of the room by Sasuke in response Orochimaru merely smiled at me. I kid you not he just smiled at me...did Kabuto give him some happy pills or is making fun of Sasuke really that much fun. Come to think of it making fun of Sasuke is fun.

* * *

"That man with the silver hair said that you were making out with my brother." Sasuke asked for clarification as he held my arm to ensure that I could not escape, "I thought that you were kidnapped by the Akatsuki."

"Well both are true." I answered trying to find some way to placate the angry Uchiha.

"Do you always make out with your kidnappers?" He growled out.

"No, you don't see me kissing Orochimaru do you?" I asked and then was rewarded by a mental picture of that happening. Ew! Make it stop make it stop!

"Technically you are not Orochimaru's prisoner." Sasuke pointed out smartly.

"Well I was at one point in time in my life." I shot back not noticing that we stopped by a door that was most likely my room or the bathroom. Hopefully it's my room because I didn't want to have to wait for Sasuke to use the potty.

"This is your room." Sasuke said leaving the conversation in favor of completing his task, plus I think the people staring at us were beginning to disturb him. There were staring in shock, it's like they never heard him talk to someone before...wait I think I just figured it out.

"I get my own room!" I announced happily although I should have realized I'd be getting my own room since even when I was a slave here I had my own room.

"Why is that so surprising?" Sasuke asked curiously.

"I don't have my own room in the Akatsuki. Well technically I do but it smells bad and has death germs and I'm not cleaning that." I responded shivering at the memory of the time I went inside. Someone had evacuated the bodies, probably Zetsu, but the smell was still there and there were some odd stains that I do not want to think about on the walls and floor.

"Where do you sleep?" Sasuke asked.

"Um…I don't think I want to tell you." I responded sitting on the bed. Yay it's bouncy!

"Why not?"

"Personal reasons?" I ask stated. Return of the confused intonation!

"Where did you sleep?" Sasuke asked once more his glare turned on full force for the first time during our conversation.

"Fine. I slept in Itachi's room." I stated looking at him as he showed a bit of shock, just his eyes getting slightly larger mind you.

"Where did Itachi sleep?" Sasuke asked recovering from his shock but not glaring at me…as much.

"In Itachi's room." I stated raising my eyebrow because that seemed like a silly question to me.

"Was there a couch?"

"I tried to sleep on the couch but no, I had to stay with Itachi." I pouted remembering when I tried to sneak out and sleep on the couch. Good times.

"So you didn't want to sleep in his room?"

"No, well not at first. Now I got used to having an Itachi-pillow. I wonder how I am going to be able to sleep?" I questioned turning away to poke the pillows.

"You slept in his bed?"

"Yes." I answered simply looking back at him.

"Why not the floor?"

"I tried that too, and the bathtub. Itachi was dead set on me using him as a pillow for some reason."

"Did you do anything with him?"

"I think that's a bit of a personal question. What is your definition of anything?" I asked smirking at Sasuke's clear discomfort with the route our conversation was going.

"Never mind." Sasuke said refusing to look at me. I think he might have been blushing.

"Okay. Do I get to wear my own clothes here?" I asked grinning evilly.

"Why…never mind I don't want to know." Sasuke said. "I'll see you around."

"Bye, Sasuke!" I said grinning and waving like an idiot at him. Well I feel very accomplished. Not only did I have a nice long conversation with Sasuke but I also made him so uncomfortable with said conversation that he forgot to ask me where the Akatsuki base is. If only I could do that for the other millions, okay exaggeration…just plain other conversations.

* * *

"Hi, Kabuto, what brings you to my humble abode?" I asked referring to my room.

"Orochimaru wanted me to inform you that dinner will be in a few minutes." Kabuto informed me.

"Wait, you guys have a designated eating time?" I asked confused, "I thought it was whenever, that's when I fed Kimimaro."

"Yes, it is a policy that you eat whenever you can and whatever you can get, but Orochimaru wants you to join him for his meal since you are an important guest." Kabuto explained fixing his glasses.

"Okay then. Does this mean I won't have to cook while I am here?" I asked.

"Yes. There is no need to cook; one of the slaves or some ninja will cook for you."

"Let me get this straight. I get my own room, get to wear my own clothes, and don't even have to cook?"

"Yes."

"Best mission ever!" I exclaimed happily.

"Would you like me to escort you to the dinning room? Or do you need some time to get ready?" Kabuto asked politely.

"Yes and no. I am as ready as I would be in a few minutes, might as well go as is."

"Shall we?" Kabuto asked.

"We shall." I mocked.

* * *

"A pleasure to have you join us, Akira." Orochimaru greeted me. Yeah this whole happy greeting whenever he sees me is really creepy.

"It's nice not to have to cook." I greeted back ignoring Sasuke, who I sat next to.

"Were you a slave in the Akatsuki also? I thought that you were a member." Orochimaru asked.

"No I am a member, the rest of them just really suck at cooking. I usually am nice enough to cook something for them." I elaborated.

"Ah, I remember how Kimimaro would never let me have any of the soup you cooked for him." Orochimaru remembered.

"He thought that if he shared you might like it so much that you would make me your private cook and he would never be able to eat again." I said smiling at first but then frowning when I said, "I miss him."

"You are aware of his demise right?" Kabuto asked bluntly.

"Yes, actually I was there. Kimimaro saved me from falling out of a tree and then I got to watch him fight Rock Lee and Gaara. That was during the Sasuke retrieval mission." I explained.

"You were there?" Sasuke asked shocked and forgetting that he does not usually talk here.

"Yes, in fact Itachi and Kisame were watching Naruto to make sure that he didn't die. I was supposed to stay in the tree and wait, but I fell." I said not willing to elaborate on my stupidity.

"Itachi was right there?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes not that it would have mattered anyway, from what I hear you were pretty weak after your fight with my kit." I taunted.

"Why didn't Itachi and Kisame take the chance to kidnap Naruto-kun?" Kabuto asked.

"It would have been too hard to keep him for that long. As far as I know the Kyuubi has to be sealed last, also Konoha ninja would come after him. Kidnapping him early would have created way too many problems for the Akatsuki." I explained leaving out the 'I would have let him escape' reason. They don't need to know that I am not really loyal to the Akatsuki.

"Akira, would you like to take a tour later?" Orochimaru asked still treating me like an important guest, which is just creepy.

"Um, I did live here before..." I pointed out.

"Yes but you never went to where I keep my experiments." Orochimaru said eager to show off his experiments to me. I wonder why?

"Maybe some other time." I said thinking that I needed sleep sometime and I doubt Orochimaru is able to stop himself once he starts showing off his experiments.

"Well even if I am busy you are allowed to explore anywhere, just don't steal anything." Orochimaru said smirking at the end.

"Steal something? Why would I?" I asked confused then I felt stupid, "Don't worry that was a once in a life time thing, unless you secretly have another death-germ-infested ring?"

"No." he answered simply.

"Well this was a lovely meal but I kind of want a shower and to get to sleep."

"Very well then, if you need anything don't hesitate to ask a slave."

"Um, good night then." I said walking out of the room ignoring the three very different stares I got from the three guys; Orochimaru with his I-am-amused stare, Kabuto with his Kabuto-stare I have no clue what it means, and Sasuke with his you-know-something-i-don't-know-so-I-hate-you-glare.

* * *

Preview from next chapter: Exploring

_I left the room after showering and what not looking for food. Maybe if I walk around here looking like I am lost someone will point me in the right direction. I didn't even have to do that because as soon as a servant saw me they rushed over and asked if I was hungry._

_"Yes." I answered the random servant/slave/person._

_"Come with me." the servant, girl by the way, said walking briskly to the left. I shrugged and followed her trusting that I would be brought to food._


	34. Exploring

This chapter brought to you by: Spring break, mine just started. Yay, not class!

Exploring

That night I could not sleep. The pillow was too fluffy, it did not move, and I had nothing to hug. I decided to leave on a quest to find a better pillow. Maybe I can get Sasuke to be my pillow. He looks kind of like Itachi maybe he is a good pillow too? That means I have to find him. So I began walking.

After about five minutes of walking through the hide out I got lost. Okay I did live here for a while but honestly I was usually lost. I was just lucky because all hallways seemed to lead to Kimimaro's room just like at the Akatsuki base they all lead to Sasori's room. Unfortunately I am not looking for Kimimaro's room.

After finding Kimimaro's old room about three times I decided to ask the next person I saw where Sasuke's room is, or mine for that matter. Luckily it didn't take long for me to find someone even though it was late at night. Unfortunately the person is a girl with weird red hair and glasses.

"Hello, I'm Akira." I introduced myself since that is the polite thing to do.

"Karin." She answered simply looking annoyed at me talking to her.

"I have a question."

"Okay, what?"

"Do you know where Sasuke's room is?" I asked and immediately wished I hadn't.

"What do you want with my Sasuke?" Karin asked showing her true fan-girl colors.

"I, um, I was looking for extra pillows." I said almost telling her the truth; that I want to use Sasuke as a human pillow. That would have gone over well with the fan-girl, not!

"Why would Sasuke have extra pillows?" Karin asked confused.

"Well, I only know him, Kabuto and Orochimaru well enough to ask for pillows." I made up a lame excuse. Karin thought it was lame too and looked at me strange then she sighed and began walking somewhere.

"I'll get you some extra pillows." Karin said apparently taking me to where the extra pillows are stored.

"You wouldn't happen to know where my room is located?" I questioned.

"Sasuke!" Karin whispered hiding in a conveniently placed hole in the wall as Sasuke appeared around a corner.

"Hey Sasuke." I greeted ignoring the fact that he was looking around because he thought he heard me talk to someone.

"Akira, lost I see." Sasuke said tauntingly.

"Why, yes, yes I am. How observant of you to notice."

"Why are you out of your room?" Sasuke asked giving me a suspicious look.

"Well I was looking for you actually."

"Why?" Sasuke asked raising one eyebrow.

"I wanted to ask you if you would be my pillow." I asked forgetting that Karin was there.

"What?" Sasuke asked confused and a little embarrassed.

"Well I thought that since you are related to my last pillow that maybe you would make a good replacement pillow."

"No." Sasuke answered simply.

"Worth a try. You wouldn't happen to have a bunch of spare pillows would you? Maybe quantity will win over quality."

"Are you implying that my brother is a good pillow?"

"One of the best." I answered quickly.

"Come on, I'll take you to where we store the pillows." Sasuke said grabbing my arm harshly and dragging me in the direction that I was going in the first place.

"After that can we go back to my room?" I asked not realizing how that might have sounded to Sasuke.

"Why?" Sasuke asked thinking dirty thoughts.

"Well I am lost you know, how would I find my room after getting the pillows?" I asked completely oblivious to the thoughts that Sasuke, and probably Karin, had at the mention of going back to the room.

"Oh." Sasuke said sounding slightly disappointed. "Fine."

"Yay, not lost and I will have pillows." I said happily following the embarrassed Uchiha and completely forgetting about Karin.

* * *

The next morning, or should I say afternoon, I slept in really late. Usually either Itachi or someone else wakes me up. No one disturbed me at all. I just slept until I felt like waking up. Apparently my body likes about twelve hours of sleep, or perhaps it is because I was sleeping with like six pillows. Quantity over quality. One I named my squishy and I huggle it in my sleep. Maybe I should get someone to give me wake up calls if I am going to stay here or else I might just slip into a coma and no one would notice. Then I would die sleeping because my body didn't want to wake me up.

I left the room after showering and what not looking for food. Maybe if I walk around here looking like I am lost someone will point me in the right direction. I didn't even have to do that because as soon as a servant saw me they rushed over and asked if I was hungry.

"Yes." I answered the random servant/slave/person.

"Come with me." the servant, girl by the way, said walking briskly to the left. I shrugged and followed her trusting that I would be brought to food. My trust was rewarded when I was taken to a place that looked like a bunch of people could eat there.

"Akira, did you sleep well?" Kabuto asked appearing from the corner.

"Were you hiding in the shadows of the cafeteria just to see me?" I asked looking at the shadows that he appeared on.

"No I was here to eat, seeing you here was just a coincidence." Kabuto commented.

"Well how convenient for you." I said dryly.

"Would you like some company for lunch, or is it dinner?" Kabuto asked.

"I believe it is breakfast, for me. Although I could go for some lunch too."

"Very well, after we eat I could give you a tour."

"I suppose, will I get to meet fun people?"

"What is your definition of fun?"

"Interesting."

"Then yes."

"Let's steer clear of the parts where the dead bodies are stored." I suggested.

"That's not a standard part of the tour."

"Yeah wouldn't want your guests to get the wrong idea."

"After lunch right?"

"Yeah, lunch."

* * *

"This is the library." Kabuto pointed out opening a room with a bunch of books and scrolls.

"You have a library?" I asked.

"You cleaned it once." Kabuto told me.

"Really."

"Yes."

"Well I forgot which library I had cleaned." I tried to cover my stupidity with more stupidity.

"Then why did you ask about having a library if you knew about them."

"Well maybe I was confused about which room with the books was the actual library."

"This is the library." Kabuto said closing the door. I guess he was pretending that I never asked about the library. I think I am annoying him, check one box off my list of things to do in life. It's number 27 the exact phrasing is annoy Kabuto so badly that he forcefully forgets what I did to annoy him.

"Okay." I said playing along with him.

* * *

"This is where we keep the experiments that are a bit out of control." Kabuto pointed out.

"Scenic." I replied sarcastically.

"This is where we keep Jugo."

"Do I know him?"

"No."

"Then I care why?"

"He's actually really nice, you could probably chat with him when you are bored."

"Through the door?" I asked.

"Yes since he is not allowed out because he attacks everyone in sight."

"And you think that he will be a good conversationalist why?"

"He actually hates fighting and is quite nice, and he rarely talks. You seem to get along with those quiet people."

"Fine. Introduce us." I said. I was going to say something about how I really don't get along well with the quiet people I just annoy them so much that they find themselves talking to me.

"Why?"

"Well it would be weird if I just started talking to him without being introduced."

"Hey, Jugo, this is Akira she is the ambassador from the Akatsuki and she might come by and talk to you every so often."

"Nice to meet you." A voice replied from behind the door.

"Nice to meet you too, voice from behind the door."

"Kimimaro used to come down here and tell me about a slave he had named Akira." Jugo's voice said.

"What a coincidence I used to be a slave to a man named Kimimaro..." I said giving Kabuto my best I-figured-out-your-secret look or maybe it was more like a so-that's-why-you-brought-me-here look. It might have been a you're-silly-Kabuto look.

"Are you that Akira?" Jugo asked much more interested in the conversation now.

"Yes."

"Then I really hope you come back, I've been lonely since Kimimaro got sick and sad since he died."

"I will come back often, don't worry."

"Akira we have to continue with your tour."

"Fine, where to next?"

"A male named Suigetsu wanted to meet you."

"Why?"

"I don't know but when he found out an Akatsuki member was going to be here he got really excited for some reason." Kabuto answered as we walked away from Jugo's door. I guess he didn't want us to leave because I can hear him pounding on the door.

* * *

"Suigetsu, this is Akira."

"Nice to meet you, who are you?" Suigetsu asked.

"She is the resident Akatsuki member."

"She's the Akatsuki member, but she seems so..." Sugetsu said trailing off trying to find the correct word to describe me.

"Weak? Weird? Short? Tall? Skinny? Fat? You think I am fat!" I asked getting sad at the last one.

"No, none of those."

"Oh," I said immediately recovering from my sadness, "Um is the word odd?"

"No, I was thinking more like pretty." Suigetsu informed me.

"So the word was pretty but yet not the work pretty; sexy? Good looking? Eye candy? Beautiful? The most gorgeous thing you have ever seen in your life?" I asked smirking.

"No I think pretty works, and weird." Suigetsu admitted.

"Okay." I said happily.

"Anyway do you know a man named Kisame?"

"I knew a man-like-man named Kisame." I told him.

"What is his weakness?"

"He does things people younger than him tell him to do."

"What type of a weakness is that?"

"Kisame's kind."

"Does she always give answers to questions that are not the answer people are looking for?" Suigetsu asked Kabuto.

"Yes, you should see Sasuke get side tracked by her." Kabuto said smirking as if he was somehow involved in my brilliance.

"Was that your only question? I seem to be on some schedule that only Kabuto knows."

"For now, I will find out what you know about Kisame some day." Suigetsu announced as I started walking away with Kabuto while waving.

* * *

Preview from next chapter: Betrayals

_"Where is the Akatsuki base?" Sasuke asked cornering me in my room. Literally cornered. He pushed my into a corner and is now standing in front of me not letting me leave. _

_"Um I dunno." I answered resisting the urge to poke him in the stomach. He is exposing his abs, he's tempting me I swear._

_"Yes you do, you are a member." Sasuke pointed out. That logic would work for anyone who is not me._

_"I got lost. You should ask your brother he knows."_

_"If I knew where he was I would not care where the base was." Sasuke said angrily hitting the wall behind my head. Yeah that was just a little too close._

_"Well, then I can't help you." I said attempting to push him away but failing, failure. _


	35. Betrayals

This chapter brought to you by: Too many drinks in one day containing caffeine and sugar.

Betrayals

Several days after Kabuto gave me a tour of the compound I was sitting in my room bored after talking to Jugo for a while. A knock on the door distracted me from doing nothing. I was so busy doing nothing...

"Come in." I called grabbing the pillow to throw just in case it is Kabuto. Recently he has been hitting on me whenever I see him. I keep telling him that his hair is not cool enough for me to like him. I mean Kakashi's hair is so much better than his.

"Akira..." Sasuke began seriously.

"Sasuke..." I said in mock seriousness.

"Where is the Akatsuki base?" Sasuke asked cornering me in my room. Literally cornered. He pushed my into a corner and is now standing in front of me not letting me leave. I guess he has noticed that I either change the topic or run away whenever he asks me where the base is.

"Um I dunno." I answered resisting the urge to poke him in the stomach. He is exposing his abs, he's tempting me I swear. Why else would he wear that shirt? Not for armor.

"Yes you do, you are a member." Sasuke pointed out. That logic would work for anyone who is not me. Sadly we are talking about me here, so me not knowing actually makes sense if you stretch it.

"I got lost. You should ask your brother he knows." I suggested with a smile.

"If I knew where he was I would not care where the base was." Sasuke said angrily hitting the wall behind my head. Yeah that was just a little too close, one inch and then my face would be smashed in.

"Well, then I can't help you." I said attempting to push him away but failing, failure.

"Akira, why are you with the Akatsuki." Sasuke asked giving me a strange look.

"I had no choice. I like my life, thank you very much." I responded.

"How could you like such an evil man?" Sasuke asked staring at me confused.

"Says the person with the evil snake man that not-so-secretly secretly just wants your body." I pointed out.

"I plan on taking him out before he has a chance to get rid of me."

"Well I don't plan on helping them with catching any tailed demons."

"Fine, if you don't want to tell me where the Akatsuki base is you don't have to." Sasuke said angrily.

"I am telling you I don't know where it is. I still get lost _here,_ and I used to be a slave here."

"Okay can you tell me _his_ weakness?" Sasuke asked spitting out the word his.

"I could, but I won't."

"Why not?"

"It's going to be easy enough for you to kill him without my help." I told him causing him to smirk because he thought I was complimenting his strength. I wasn't.

"Perhaps you will know the way if you are in the forest with me." Sasuke said plotting. I can sense a plot in his smirk.

"Whatever you are plotting, I can't really stop you." I said truthfully. I can't stop him if he wants to kidnap me.

"So you won't try to stop me?" Sasuke asked grinning.

"No I mean that I can't, I _am_ going to try to stop you." I said trying to get out of my corner by ducking under his arms.

"But you won't be able to." Sasuke said allowing me to go.

"That's what I said."

"Well continue this talk later." Sasuke announced knowing something I don't know. Sasuke quickly left my room as Kabuto came. I swiftly threw a pillow at Kabuto and quickly closed the door on him. I didn't want to have to deal with him at that moment. In fact I decided to take a nap. Naps are fun. So I got into my bed, which probably has like fifteen pillows on it now, and took a nap.

* * *

I was walking through the halls searching for the kitchen. I always seem to loose the important places. The kitchen here, the front door at the Akatsuki base. I can find the meeting room it's like the living room in the Akatsuki base, in terms of the fact that I can find it. There seems to be a meeting...I know exactly what I should do. Eavesdrop!

"...So they have started moving." Oroachimaru's voice said.

"Yes, my spy in the Akatsuki tells me that they are beginning to gather the demons." Kabuto's voice informed us.

"Which one are they starting with? Are they going in order?" Orochimaru asked.

"No, apparently they are doing any tailed demon that they can get their hands on, other than the Kyuubi." Kabuto continued explaining.

"So why did they send Akira here at such an important time?"

"I don't know."

"Isn't the chakra of the members necessary for the sealing ritual?"

"Yes, but Akira does not have chakra anyway." Sasuke cut in saying something for the first time.

"True, Kabuto what else does your spy have to say?"

"Well I have to meet with my Akatsuki spy soon, but according to my spy in Suna they have already taken the Kazekage." Kabuto explained.

"Suna had more than one demon?" Sasuke asked. Yay, Sasuke ask the exact question that I wondered about. Isn't Gaara the Suna demon? The sand seems to suggest that he is.

"No they only have one. They made the one-tailed demon carrier their Kazekage, after the death of the former." Kabuto explained as if they did not have any part in the murder of the Kazekage.

"So the red headed demon, Gaara, is Suna's Kazekage?" Sasuke asked for confirmation.

"Well he was, now he is probably dead." Orochimaru explained.

"What?" I asked bursting into the room, banging the door against the wall take that door, and looking Orochimaru right in the eyes.

"Akira, it is not polite to eavesdrop." Kabuto said teasing me I shot him a glare and he shut up.

"Are you saying that the Akatsuki has killed Gaara?" I asked for confirmation now unable to look at any of them in the eyes instead I was focused on the table.

"Well I haven't met with my source yet but considering the fact that he was taken by them I would guess that he is dead." Kabuto answered.

"That's why they sent me here." I growled out pissed off at the Akatsuki.

"I am sure that is not the reason, unless they thought that you would get in their way." Orochimaru pointed out with a smirk.

"I hate you Pein!" I shouted out and my chakra flared, shocking the three others in the room, as I punched the table. For some reason the table became Pein's face and I just had to hit it. I accidentally, on purpose, destroyed the table.

"You have chakra?" Sasuke questioned coming out of his shock first, although they were all still staring at the broken table.

"Sometimes." I answered having expelled all my anger into the punch. When I see Pein I am so going to punch him in the face again.

"So you only have chakra when you are pissed?" Kabuto asked marking stuff down in his notebook, probably that information will soon be added to his card about me. Maybe I can see my card one day, I wonder how bad the picture of me looks.

"When I hate." I explained.

"So it is similar to the curse seal?" Orochimaru asked excited for some reason.

"Not really." I answered simply.

"How long have you had chakra?" Sasuke asked standing up for some odd reason.

"Since I was born." I said giving him a duh-look.

"Never mind." Sasuke said sitting in his corner of angst, I mean in a chair. A conveniently place chair in the room right where he was sitting before he stood up. Okay so he merely sat back down after standing up earlier when I killed the table.

"Where's the kitchen?" I asked because I was hungry. After I eat my Sammich maybe everything will be better and Gaara will be alive and I won't have to hate Pein again. I mean I just stopped hating him from before. In fact I forgot I was angry with him at all until I just thought of it.

"I'll take you." Sasuke offered standing once more. Up, down, up, down, is he going to stay seated or stand pick one.

"Okay." I answered happy at the thought of food. I will deal with those responsible for Gaara's death later and until I find out if he is actually dead or not I will not cry about it. In fact I think the best idea for crying is to wait until I have my Itachi pillow back so that I can cry until I pass out and I know that I won't somehow drown in my own tears. Knowing my luck that would happen. Cause of death—drowned in her own tears.

* * *

This preview is subject to change between now and when the next chapter is actually written!

Preview from next chapter: Confrontations

_"Did you know he was going to die Itachi?" I asked him as I walked into our room._

_"Yes." Itachi answered simply looking at me with his usual emotionless face._

_"Is that why you already knew I was leaving?" I asked closing the door and locking it. I don't know exactly why I locked it, maybe because I wanted our talk to be uninterrupted. Perhaps it was so that no one would stop a fight we might get in. Maybe it was simply so that the door wouldn't open._

_"Yes." Itachi said his face still hard._

_"What am is supposed to say to that? How am I supposed to feel, act?" I asked tears beginning to fall down my face. As Itachi swiftly crossed the room and hugged me to him. _


	36. Confrontations

One thing I wanted to point out...you know and I know that Gaara is alive. Personally I don't think that the Akatsuki know and I also don't think Orochimaru knows either. At least not at this time.

To those who are hoping that I do not kill Akatsuki members off...I don't really want to but I happens and I want to follow the Naruto storyline as much as possible. Sorry. You can pretend they are alive. That's what I do...Sasori dead? That didn't happen—purposefully forgetting.

This chapter brought to you by: Getting to school extra-ghetto-early. I have over an hour before class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. This means that if I do not have homework (which sadly I usually do) I can write!

* * *

Confrontations

"Who is going to go get Akira back from Orochimaru?" Pein asked doing one of his creepy ghost conferences.

"Well I can't do it." Itachi said thinking that it was stupid to hold this conference since Pein could just tell someone to get her.

"I need to know who is able to do it." Pein answered.

"I can't, un." Deidara said.

"I can." Zetsu offered.

"You eat her and I will kill you." Itachi threatened.

"I wouldn't send you there alone to take Akira back. Can anyone else go."

"No." Everyone said.

"Well any ideas?" Pein asked.

"What about Tobi?" Zetsu offered.

"It could be his initiation, since there are some open spots now." Pein announced.

"Fine, but if anything happens to her I will kill you both." Itachi growled out.

"We need Akira to help us get the nine-tailed fox, among other things, so I will give Itachi every opportunity to kill you if Akira is harmed." Pein announced disconnecting the conference.

* * *

"Tobi is a good boy." Tobi announced interrupting an important meeting between Orochimaru, Sasuke, Kabuto, Akira and some other random people.

"Tobi, you should knock before entering." Zetsu scolded.

"Akira-chan!" Tobi shouted going to hug me but I used Sasuke as a human shield.

"Hello Tobi, Zetsu." I said knowing that the two of them had nothing to do with Gaara's death. Unless Zetsu ate him.

"Akira we are here to take you back to the Akatsuki." Zetsu told them.

"Goodbye then." I said seriously as Orochimaru, Kabuto and Sasuke gave me a weird look.

"You're just going to leave?" Sasuke asked glaring at Zetsu and Tobi.

"Well I don't plan on staying here. Besides I can't punch Pein in the face if I am still here." I explained.

"Where's the Akatsuki base?" Sasuke asked bluntly.

"Subtle, Sasuke, real subtle." I muttered.

"Why don't you join us?" Zetsu said using his I-will-eat-you voice and making his i-plan-on-eating you face.

"I wouldn't accept that invitation if I were you." I whispered to Sasuke.

"Why not?" he whispered back.

"He will eat you." I answered him.

"Will he eat you?" Kabuto asked after having appeared behind Sasuke and me.

"No, he wouldn't eat me, but you yes." I answered.

"Tobi is a good boy, he wants to whisper too!" Tobi said attempting once more to hug me but I once again side stepped him and hid behind Sasuke.

"Akira it was lovely to have you here, come back at any time." Orochimaru said eager to get me to leave. Apparently I get annoying after a while, perhaps it was because I distracted Sasuke or because I kept tripping him in the hallways. Oh maybe it was because I glued Kabuto in a chair and then duck taped his mouth shut because...well because I could.

"Goodbye then." I said waving to them all. Sasuke merely glared at me, Kabuto looked sad, Orochimaru happily waved back. Yeah Orochimaru needs to work on his I-am-evil attitude, he kind of fails at evil.

* * *

The first place I visited when I reached the Akatsuki base was Pein's room, area, office, thing. I don't know what it is but that is where Pein was and technically I am supposed to report to him after completing a mission.

"Welcome back, Akira." Pein greeted me with a sickening smile on his face.

"What was the purpose of sending me to Orochimaru?" I asked not looking at him in anger.

"I'm sure that you probably figured it out already." Pein answered, not very helpful.

"Was it so that you could seal the demons without me interfering?"

"Yes."

"If I am a member of the Akatsuki why would you think that I would get in the way?"

"I still don't trust you."

"Then I am not really a member than, am I?"

"You are, I don't trust any of them either."

"I really hate you, you realize that?" I asked finally looking up at him my chakra flaring as I rushed to him and hit him in the face. This time I think I broke his nose, it started bleeding. I also, since I was still pissed, kicked him in the leg and then he started blocking me. I kept trying to hit him but we just kept fighting. I would try to hit him and he would block me.

"Akira, why are you so angry at me?" Pein asked confused.

"First you sent me on a bogus mission, secondly you sent me to Orochimaru, and finally you killed someone who I liked."

"Who did I kill?" Pein asked smirking, even though he is the one bleeding.

"Why would I tell you?"

"Are you angry because Sasori is dead?" Pein asked.

"Sasori is dead!" I shouted in shock causing my chakra to go back to it's normal non-existent state.

"Now I really want to know who I killed." Pein remarked. "Are you done?"

"Yes, I will go to my room now." I informed him. Actually I will go to my room after taking a shower in Konan's room, but he dose not need to know that.

* * *

"Did you know he was going to die Itachi?" I asked him as I walked into our room.

"Yes." Itachi answered simply looking at me with his usual emotionless face.

"Is that why you already knew I was leaving?" I asked closing the door and locking it. I don't know exactly why I locked it, maybe because I wanted our talk to be uninterrupted. Perhaps it was so that no one would stop a fight we might get in. Maybe it was simply so that the door wouldn't open.

"Yes." Itachi said his face still hard.

"What am is supposed to say to that? How am I supposed to feel, act?" I asked tears beginning to fall down my face. As Itachi swiftly crossed the room and hugged me to him.

"Why does his life matter so much to you?" Itachi asked still holding me to him, not allowing me to escape his arms. Okay Itachi, being jealous of a dead man is not good for your mental health.

"I cared about him." I stated talking into his shoulder but he somehow understood me anyway. I decided to cry on his shirt and ruin it, take that Itachi.

"The same way you care about me?" Itachi asked. What kind of a question is that.

"Not exactly but similar." I admitted after a long silence where we just stood there me crying him clutching.

"Then I will make you forget about him and make you use all your feelings on me." Itachi said still holding me but pushing me away from him so that he could stare at my face. He finally released me and used his thumbs to wipe the tears that I was crying away.

"But...I don't want to love you completely." I admitted, no longer crying. My comment hurt Itachi and he glared at me.

"Why not?"

"Because you will leave me just like everyone else I loved did." I answered not looking at him, I did not want to see his hurt face.

"..." Itachi did not say anything for a while.

"Why do you want me to love you?" I asked breaking the silence finally looking up at him to discover that he had been staring at me the entire time.

"Because I love you." He stated simply acting like he was merely saying that the weather outside is nice today.

"You..." I said unable to finish my sentence or my thought because Itachi decided to start kissing me.

"Please..." He whispered in my ear after he was done kissing me and decided to hug me to him.

"I..." I stated looking around the room trying to find the solution to my problem. My eyes landed on the umbrella that Gaara had given to me at the chunin exams. I remember when I discovered it was missing after Itachi left me in Konoha during the chunin exams...

* * *

_"Where is the umbrella?" I questioned searching my room in Konoha. I found a pair of Itachi's pants but no umbrella. "I could have sworn that I left it in the closet." I stated talking to myself like a crazy person. _

_"What did you loose?" Gaara asked entering my room uninvited and unexpectedly._

_"The umbrella you gave me." I admitted looking a little sheepish._

_"Why do you care?" Gaara asked blinking at me in confusion._

_"Well for one it is raining outside, and for two it was a gift from you." I answered._

_"You value a gift from a demon."_

_"Well I value a gift from you." I countered._

_"..." Gaara merely stared at me._

_"I guess it's gone." I stated giving up. I give up easily, too lazy to continue looking._

* * *

_"Why is my umbrella here?" I asked Itachi a day after I returned—Alive!--from the chunin exams._

_"I took it with me planning on destroying it but then I thought of how mad you would be so I merely brought it will me." Itachi stated simply not looking at me but reading a scroll._

_"Do you know what that means?" I asked._

_"What?"_

_"It means that you are finally learning not to destroy my stuff! I am so proud of you!" I said in a proud mother voice hugging Itachi. Itachi took that oportunity to hug me back and place my on his lap as he continued reading. So boring..._

* * *

...And when I discovered it in Itachi's room. I realized it was the only thing that I had to remember Gaara with. "I don't want to forget him." I whispered finally.

"I never asked you to do that, I just want your love." Itachi said looking me in the eyes.

"I-I love you, Itachi." I finally stuttered out and Itachi practically pounced. He instantly started kissing me and forced me down onto the bed. I kissed him back just as passionately grasping onto his back.

* * *

Then stuff happens...or ends there if you are a strictly Gaara fan. I won't write about the stuff here for two reasons 1) this story is rated T and 2) I don't think I can write it good enough and I would probably not be able to stop blushing for a week after I posted it...maybe I will write it some day and post it separately under M...or not...depends...

Even if Itachi does find out about Gaara being alive I really don't think that he will be telling Akira anytime soon...bad Itachi....

* * *

Preview from next chapter: Once again the Plot!

_"Akira did you punch Pein in the face, again?" Kisame asked as the tree of us were eating breakfast before our meeting with Pein._

_"Yes." I answered simply and a bit smugly with a small smirk. Smirks must be contagious or something._

_"You never cease to amaze me." Kisame said while shaking his head. I am not quite sure if that was an insult or a compliment but I like compliments better so I will be treating it as such._

_"Thank you, I try. No actually I don't." I answered back as Itachi continued eating, not even glaring. I guess this is Itachi's happy face, he is smirking at nothing._

_"Is Itachi acting weird to you?" Kisame whispered to me after he noticed Itachi's smirk randomly switch to a grin and then back to a smirk for no apparent reason._

_"Yes, but I know why." I answered taunting Kisame a bit with the fact I know something he does not know._

_"Why?" Kisame asked._

_"I'm not telling." I sang out._


	37. Once again the plot!

I recently realized that you can reply to reviews so now I am going to try to make it a habit to do just that.

Oh, and one of my lovely readers has offered to write the lemon from last chapter, I shall inform you all when it is done.

This chapter brought to you by: Food...I wish I had some.

* * *

Once again, the plot!

"Akira did you punch Pein in the face, again?" Kisame asked as the three of us were eating breakfast.

"Yes." I answered simply and a bit smugly with a small smirk. Smirks must be contagious or something.

"You never cease to amaze me." Kisame said while shaking his head. I am not quite sure if that was an insult or a compliment but I like compliments better so I will be treating it as such.

"Thank you, I try. No actually I don't." I answered back as Itachi continued eating, not even glaring. I guess this is Itachi's happy face, he is smirking at nothing.

"Is Itachi acting weird to you?" Kisame whispered to me after he noticed Itachi's smirk randomly switch to a grin and then back to a smirk for no apparent reason.

"Yes, but I know why." I answered taunting Kisame a bit with the fact I know something he does not know.

"Why?" Kisame asked.

"I'm not telling." I sang out.

"Why don't you tell him Akira?" Itachi asked picking on me, meanie.

"You know what, I'd rather not." I answered simply.

"What? What happened?" Kisame asked suddenly more interested in that then has pancakes.

"Nothing." I answered blushing.

"What happened, you can tell me." Kisame asked and Itachi looked like he was going to tell him. It was time to take drastic measures. I then did something that no one should ever do to another person, I stole Kisame's pancakes. "Hey! Those are mine."

"Not anymore." I said simply about to eat one.

"No!" Kisame said before taking the pancake's back stuffing them into his mouth. Conversation avoided, go me. "I almost forgot, Pein wants to see you in his office."

"Me?" I asked confused as to why he would want to be punched in the face again.

"Yeah, something about a deal." Kisame offered when Itachi glared at him.

"Okay, I guess I should go there."

* * *

You know what is creepy and really sad at the same time? Going to Sasori's room when he is dead. I, stupidly, went to Pein's office by myself and found myself at Sasori's room like usual. I would have been fine with that, Sasori's not that bad when you get over the evil puppets and the death, except for the fact that Sasori was dead. I found myself at his door unsure what to do. I decided it would be best not to go in and that I should just find Pein's office.

"Akira!" I heard Tobi shout out from behind me as I stared at Sasori's room thinking.

"Hello, Tobi." I greeted him trying to remember what Itachi told me to do if approached by Tobi when I was alone. What was it?

"Tobi is a good boy, Tobi bring Akira to the leader." Tobi said grabbing my arm in an unbreakable ninja grip. Oh I remember, now that I can't get away, he told me to run. Well I fail at following his directions.

"Okay, I guess." I agreed not really sure how to deal with Tobi.

"Tobi is a good boy." Tobi responded before we ninja poofed right into Pein's office.

"Thank you Tobi." Pein said keeping his distance from me.

"You wanted to see me?" I asked after Tobi gave me a random hug and poofed away. I didn't even have Sasuke to use as a human shield against him.

"Yes, I have noticed that you do not seem to want to be in the Akatsuki." Pein stated.

"Really, what gave it away?" I asked sarcastically, seriously he was asking for it.

"You are a part of Akatsuki whether you like it or not, we do not allow people to quit and live." Pein reminded me.

"What about Orochimaru?" I questioned.

"He is not a people." Pein answered.

"True." I agreed.

"I want you to join Itachi and Kisame in capturing the nine-tails." Pein stated.

"But?"

"I am unsure if you would actually help them and not hinder them."

"Well, look at it this way—how much harm could I do?"

"Before I would have sent you without a thought but after..." Pein trailed off unwilling to voice his thought.

"After I punched you in the face."

"Twice." Zetsu said but then went back into the wall.

"Did you know he was there?" I asked Pein confused at Zetsu's prescene.

"No, Zetsu why are you spying on us?" Pein asked confused.

"The past two times she has hit you I have missed it, I don't want to chance missing the third." Zetsu answered clearly amused with Pein's pain.

"That seems like a good reason to me." I offered enjoying making Pein pissed off. Hehe, I still hate him.

"Anyways, I want to make a deal with you."

"What type of deal?" I questioned Pein.

"If you help Itachi and Kisame capture the nine-tales then I will let you leave the Akatsuki." Pein offered.

"And be alone?" I questioned startling Pein.

"Well...umm...if you would be lonely leaving the Akatsuki then why would you want to leave in the first place?" Pein asked confused.

"Who said I wanted to leave?"

"The punch I receive to my face."

"That was because you killed someone I liked."

"Who?"

"Not telling!"

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to." I said in a childish voice, because the rest of this conversation was so intelligent and mature.

"Fine, but what do you want?"

"You not to capture and kill the nine-tales?" I stated-asked the confused and unsure intonation.

"Other than that."

"You to learn how to bring people back to life?"

"No."

"I don't know then."

"How am I supposed to make a deal with you if you don't even know what you want?"

"You're not." I answered simply.

"What if I give you your own, clean, room?" Pein offered thinking about everything I have ever asked for, the list was oddly short.

"Nah, I like my Itachi pillow and Itachi might just kill you for it."

"How about you help capture the nine-tales and then come back and demand something?" Pein asked.

"What if it is something you don't want to give me?" I questioned.

"Then we will figure something out."

"Until then, how will I know that you are not just going to steal the Kyuubi from me?"

"I suppose you don't."

"That's not helping your case."

"Just trust me."

"That isn't helping your case either."

"Why are you being so difficult?"

"Because I hate you?"

"How about this," Pein began suddenly turning sinister instead of joking or annoyed like he was before, "You help Itachi and Kisame capture the nine-tales or you and Itachi die."

"Wait, what's with the 'and Itachi' part?" I asked glaring at the man.

"You seem attached to him. I want to make sure that you won't sacrifice yourself for the nine-tales, after all according to reports you were attached to him. So what is more important your life and Itachi's or the nine-tailed brat's life?" Pein asked.

"I really hate you." I hissed out glaring at him before my chakra, once again, flared and I attacked. Pein was ready for a punch to the face which is why I kicked his shin flipped over him and then before touching the ground behind him kicked him in the back of his head causing him to hit a conveniently located table. 'Take that!' I thought before running out of the office.

I didn't even know I could still move like that! I remember that when I was younger and had chakra I could move like that but you would think that I would be out of practice. Sadly my shock about my abilities ruined the chakra flair. Seriously I need to learn to keep my hatred for more than a minute. I will work on that right after I figure out how to keep myself focused on one topic for more than one minute.

* * *

Preview from next chapter: Missions

_"Pein wants to see all of us in his office." Kisame informed Itachi and me._

_"Do I get to punch him in the face again?" I asked._

_"No, Itachi it is your job to make sure that Akira does not attack him, no matter how fun that would be to see." Kisame said zoning off a bit to visualize that._

_"Very well." Itachi said lifting me up onto his shoulder like he used to do._

_"This brings back memories..." I stated trailing off as I stared at Itachi's butt. I forgot that I get to stare at that while I am like this. Luckily I think that Kisame and Itachi assumed I trailed off because I was thinking about the past, if Itachi knew I'm sure that I would be jumped._


	38. Missions

Until after May 1st I might not be able to write due to finals and other school related issues. I will try to update next week but I make no promises. I am sorry if I have completely shattered your opinion of me...school is evil. (Goes to work on 15 page paper now) Sorry for the shortness of this one too...I feel really bad now...(goes into sulking corner to sulk)

This chapter brought to you by: Procrastination at it's finest.

Missions

As I left Pein's office I felt like I was being watched. I quickly walked towards Itachi's room but got lost and wound up at Sasori's room again. The feeling of being watched did not go away.

"Hello?" I decided to call out walking away from Sasori's door. Next time I am going to the kitchen I never have a problem finding that.

"Akira!" I heard Tobi said right before he appeared to my right.

"Hello Tobi." I said scooting to the left. Should I listen to Itachi and run away. I found a flaw in Itachi's logic: if I run away without having chakra any ninja will be able to catch me. I think it would be smarter just to humor him. Maybe I have a cookie somewhere to bribe him with.

"Tobi is a good boy! Tobi find Akira, again!" Tobi shouted ignoring my personal space and hugging me.

"Yes you did." I answered since he looked at me, I think but with the mask you never know, like he wanted me to answer him.

"I will take Akira to the kitchen!" Tobi announced grabbing my arm and dragging me off, in the opposite direction.

"Why the kitchen?" I asked after several attempted to get my hand back but failing.

"Tobi wants an Ice Cream Sunday!" Tobi announced ignoring Kisame who we walked past. I looked at Kisame and mouthed 'get Itachi' while giving Kisame the save me look. I hope Kisame got it.

"Okay, why am I going to the kitchen?" I asked wondering what Tobi's ice cream craving has to do with me.

"Akira has one too!"

"What if I am not hungry?"

"You don't like Tobi!" Tobi said looking like he was crying. I am pretty sure he was faking but I still felt bad anyway.

"Fine we will have Sundays." I consented.

"Yay! With sprinkles?" Tobi asked looking back at me once more.

"With sprinkles, what kind of a Sunday would it be without sprinkles?" I asked.

"Onwards!" Tobi shouted suddenly picking me up and running with me. He carried me in the sometimes named 'bridal style' aka with his left hand under my knees and his right holding my back. We arrived at the kitchen in no time and I made our ice cream Sundays.

* * *

Itachi arrived in the kitchen to find Tobi and me calmly eating ice cream at the table.

"Akira…" Itachi said trailing off when he noticed that I was fine.

"Akira made Tobi ice cream, Tobi likes Akira." Tobi announced, is that a glare I feel?

"Tobi, Akira was supposed to come back to the room after her meeting with Pein." Itachi said standing directly behind me as I ate my ice cream.

"Sasori's room?" Tobi asked innocently.

"I wound up there again." I informed Itachi trying to finish my ice cream before Itachi takes me away but also not wanting brain freeze.

"Fine."

"Itachi so mean to Tobi. Tobi is a good boy." Tobi said sadly, well it sounded sad.

"Leave Akira alone." Itachi growled out hugging me from behind possessively. I calmly continued eating.

"Tobi was not bothering Akira, was Tobi?"

"No, but I should be going…" I trailed off after having finished my ice cream

"Go back to the room, I trust you can find it from here?" Itachi ordered then asked in the same breath.

"Okay." I answered skipping out of the room. I had ice cream. As I was leaving I overheard a dark chuckle that did not sound like Itachi's. I rushed to the room wondering if maybe Tobi was someone more dangerous than I though. If that is true who is he? Why is he acting like an idiot? How does he know to look for me at Sasori's room?

* * *

"Pein wants to see all of us in his office." Kisame informed Itachi and me.

"Do I get to punch him in the face again?" I asked.

"No, Itachi it is your job to make sure that Akira does not attack him, no matter how fun that would be to see." Kisame said zoning off a bit to visualize that.

"Very well." Itachi said lifting me up onto his shoulder like he used to do.

"This brings back memories..." I stated trailing off as I stared at Itachi's butt. I forgot that I get to stare at that while I am like this. Luckily I think that Kisame and Itachi assumed I trailed off because I was thinking about the past, if Itachi knew I'm sure that I would be jumped.

"Good memories." Itachi stated I'm pretty sure smirking.

"Yeah, back when she didn't talk as much, such good times." Kisame added.

"Haven't you ever heard not to be mean to those that cook your food?" I inquired talking to his face since he was walking behind Itachi.

"What are you going to do, poison it?" Kisame asked tauntingly.

"That's a good idea." I said with a grin.

"Great, you gave her ideas." Pein's voice said having heard our conversation from inside his office. It's like he's a ninja or something.

"Maybe that's why Sasori taught me about poisons." I mused trying to take a thinking pose but failing since I was over Itachi's shoulder.

"That does sound like something he would do. Teach you about poisons hoping you would poison Deidara." Konan mused and I just noticed she was there. It doesn't help that I am facing the door and not the inside of the office.

"I have a mission for the three of you. Capture the nine-tails; also dispose of Itachi's brother if he gets in the way. Is that okay with you Itachi?" Pein asked, probably smirking at, Itachi.

"Hn." Itachi answered in usual Uchiha fashion. That could be a yes Hn a no Hn or a maybe Hn. Actually considering the range of uses for Hn it could be a 'I-want-a-sammich' Hn. I want a Sammich too so I am going with that one.

"Excellent." Pein said going with the Hn being a yes Hn. "Akira has already agreed to the mission.

"When did I do that?" I inquired.

"You agreed to my terms."

"Again, when did I do that?"

"When you attacked me."

"How does that work?"

"I'm sure you will agree to take the mission."

"I don't really see a choice." I muttered.

"Why were you asking about when you agreed, if you don't have a choice?" Kisame asked confused.

"He made it seem like I did have a choice." I answered Kisame.

"You three will start the mission tomorrow." Pein ordered dismissing us. As we walked out the door I finally got to see Pein so I glared at him. He, for some odd reason, was not affected by it.

* * *

Sadly no Preview for next chapter...(Man this is the crappiest update ever)


	39. NSIN

Yay, I actually wrote the chapter! With a preview!

This chapter brought to you by: Me not being hungry for once, instead of eat I started writing this before class.(So shocking since I am always hungry.) Then I was sleepy so instead of writing papers like I should have been doing I wrote this! Amazing how much more fun it is to write this than papers.

* * *

Naruto chasing Sasuke, Sasuke chasing Itachi, while Itachi chases Naruto (N-S, S-I, I-N) or (N-SIN)

(Long title)

"So how exactly are we meant to find Naruto?" I asked as we were calmly walking through the forest, on the ground no less.

"He will find us." Itachi explained his plan.

"So we are going to wonder through this forest until Naruto finds us?" I questioned already feeling the strain of walking so much. Usually I get carried.

"Or Itachi's little brother." Kisame pointed out.

"Who we are supposed to kill if he attacks us?"

"Yes." Kisame answered.

"Why don't we use him as bait to get Naruto?" I questioned.

"Naruto will come looking for me so that he can get to Sasuke." Itachi informed me.

"I know, but what is Sasuke finds us first?" I asked.

"Then we will deal with him." Kisame supplied.

"So basically Naruto is chasing after Sasuke to bring him back to Konoha, who is chasing after Itachi to kill Itachi, who in turn is chasing after Naruto to get the nine tails?"

"Yes." Kisame agreed.

"How I see it somehow all of us are going to wind up in the same place." I pointed out.

"True." Kisame agreed again.

I looked at Itachi who refused to meet my eyes. I noticed that Itachi was refusing to answer the question about what he will do when or if Sasuke finds us first. I know he has some plan in mind that he does not want Kisame to know. There is also a slight chance that he does not want me to know his plan either.

* * *

A few days after the start of the mission not only was I sick of walking but I was sick of trees, flowers, squirrels, roots, grass, and dirt. I think the two males noticed my discomfort, telling them every half an hour that I hate a different part of the forest helped, and started leading us to a small village place. I would have been sick of the sun but since we were in a dense forest there was no sun, I miss the sun.

"I would like to reserve two rooms for three days." Itachi asked at the nearest Inn. As usual I don't get my own room, but now I am fine with that.

"Okay." The Inn keeper man said happily smiling at me. Why is he smiling at me?

"Thank you." Itachi spat out glaring at the Inn keeper dude and grabbing my arm while tossing Kisame's key to him. Kisame caught the key, go him, he has hand eye coordination. I suppose hand eye coordination is necessary for ninja. It's probably on the graduation exam or something.

"Why are we staying for three days?" Kisame asked.

"I want to track Naruto." Itachi explained.

"How are you going to do that?" Kisame asked confused since he did not remember Itachi being that good at tracking.

"I'm not." Itachi said looking at me.

"Oh, yeah me." I sighed.

"What is Akira going to do?" Kisame asked confused because he never saw me use my book and does not know of it's existence. Itachi merely glared at Kisame using a That's-for-me-to-know-and-you-to-shut-up-about glare.

"Secret." I said playfully once I realized that Itachi was not going to give away my power.

"Fine, keep your secret." Kisame said sounding like a kid who was told they could not have ice cream before dinner. Then Kisame left us to do whatever in our room and I guess he went to his room. Honestly I don't really care what Kisame was doing. (When I was told I could not have ice cream before dinner I would always ask when dinner was so I could eat it then ask for ice cream again. )

"What are you up to?" I asked Itachi once I was sure that Kisame was gone.

"I want to talk to Naruto for a bit." Itachi told me not looking at me once more.

"About what exactly?" I questioned.

"Things."

"Things that you do not want me to know about?"

"Yes."

"Well now I know what Kisame feels like." I mused talking about Kisame not knowing about my power.

"Can you find him."

"Yes, a map would be useful to have first. I really suck at drawing. Have you seen my drawing of the Akatsuki lair?" I questioned.

"The one that had Sasori's room in the middle, rooms completely backwards, and some random lines." Itachi questioned.

"Yup that one. For your information, the random lines were either doors or a couch."

"How can a door and a couch look the same."

"I don't know. Why are you analyzing my drawing?"

"I forgot you are Akira you don't need to make sense."

"Glad to know someone finally figured me out."

"I'll go out later and buy some maps of the surrounding area." Itachi informed me ending out nonsense talk and getting back to business.

"How am I going to use my book without everyone knowing?" I questioned.

"I am going to seal this room so that no chakra will leak out. It will take one night to be able to do that. Then I gave myself one day to send a clone to Naruto and another day to rest." Itachi explained.

"So in a day I can use my book to find out where Naruto is so that you can send a clone to talk to him about things that you don't want me to know?"

"Yes."

"Well I suppose that's fine with me."

"Then after that could you track where Sasuke is going and where Naruto is, plus how fast the two of them are traveling."

"Goodness, what if I said no?"

"Then after a three days rest we will go back to wondering aimlessly through the forest." Itachi said with an evil grin.

"Fine, start your seal thinggy," I ordered him waving him off then pouted while saying, "I want to go shopping too."

"You can come with me when I go out to get the maps later."

"I am holding that statement as a binding contract." I informed him.

"Just go take a bath already, I will take one after the seal is in place. Then we can go shopping." Itachi said already absorbed with placing the seal. That means I get the hot water!

* * *

"What is this a map of?" I questioned the helpful assistant man in the store that sells paper stuff. Seriously everything that you could want that is made of paper is sold there. There are maps, paper, legal documents, and random origami. Konan would love this store.

"That is a map of the mountains of snow country." he explained to me as he eyed Itachi looking through a large stack of normal maps. I was looking at the special colored ones that looked cooler.

"So the white would be places where there is always snow?" I questioned even though the key was right on there. I was just that bored with the store. I think the sales dude was bored too because he smiled every time I talked to him. Itachi was ignoring the both of us.

"How much is this?" Itachi asked suddenly appearing between me and sales guy.

"Twenty dollars" (dollars because I use dollars) The sales guy answered with a fake smile. That smile was different than the one he gave me.

"What if I bought three?" Itachi asked picking three from the pile.

"Twenty each."

"There's not cheaper price when you buy more?" I asked suddenly realizing the sales man had been flirting with me before. I might as well try to use his interest in me to our advantage.

"Well, I guess I could give him three for the price of two." The sales man said scratching the back of his head and giving me his, now known as, flirting smile.

"That would be nice." Itachi said giving me a strange look before glaring at the man.

"Can we get some food after this?" I questioned Itachi realizing I was hungry, completely ignoring the sales man. I wanted food, food won over being nice to people. Sammich over friends. (just like in the forest of death when she left Sakura)

"Sure." Itachi said with a slight chuckle paying the man for two maps while taking three. The both of us walked out of the store and ignored the stricken look that was on the sales man's face. You know it was the sales man's own fault for thinking I was available when I walked in with Itachi, even though Itachi didn't even talk to me while we were in the store. It's an Itachi thing.

* * *

That night, after we ate food and mocked Kisame because he didn't have any, we sat in the inn room just staring at one another.

"Are you tired?" Itachi asked noticing me eying the bed and my pack which contained pajamas.

"Yes." I answered honestly yawning a little.

"Very well. I will meet with Kisame while you change, I need to tell him not to bother us tomorrow while you use your book and I make a clone."

"Okay." I said watching him leave. I quickly put on my pajamas and got into the bed. Sadly I could not sleep because the pillow was too fluffy.

"I thought you were tired?" Itachi questioned when he came back several minuted later and I was not asleep yet.

"The pillow is too fluffy." I complained.

"How can I help?" Itachi asked wondering how the pillows were different then the pillows at the Akatsuki. Last he checked all pillows had about the same amount of fluffy.

"You be my pillow." I said sitting up in the bed.

"I see," Itachi said smirking, "It's too soft because you are used to sleeping on me."

"Yes."

"What did you do while you were with Orochimaru?" Itachi questioned planning the death of whoever she used as a replacement while he stripped down to his boxers.

"I had like fifteen pillows, I figured I would go with quantity over quality." I explained looking away and hiding my blush. The man just stripped in front of me. No shame.

"Akira, you should be used to this by now." Itachi said noticing my blush and smirking.

"Should is the key word there." I said snuggling up to him and using him as a pillow. I was asleep in minutes.

* * *

Last week I wrote a silly one-shot about the dead characters in Naruto called 'Tea Party of the Dead', if you are up to date in the Manga and would like to read something random and funny you should read it. If you have already done so then ignore this message.

* * *

Preview from next chapter: The Three Days

_"Where did you get stickers?" Itachi asked._

_"The paper store."_

_"When?" _

_"While you were looking at maps for like half an hour."_

_"When did you pay?"_

_"I didn't have to."_

_"Did you steal them?"_

_"No, nice sales guy gave them to me for free." I told him making him glare at me, why? Oh yeah, the sales dude was flirting with me, I forgot._


	40. The three days

This chapter brought to you by: Lack of sleep...I need sleep.

The Three days

After I used my awesome powers of reading a book I used a sticker, which I got in the paper store from flirting guy when Itachi wasn't looking, and write 'Naruto is here' on it. Then I looked in the book and found Sasuke's trail and used blue ink to show where he is heading. After finishing that I used some red ink, only had blue and red for some reason, to mark where Naruto would be the entire time. Then I used the black to mark our path. Itachi didn't ask me to look that up but I wanted to know where I was going.

"So the blue is Sasuke, the red is Naruto, and we are the black." I explained handing him the map.

"Where did you get stickers?" Itachi asked.

"The paper store."

"When?"

"While you were looking at maps for like half an hour."

"When did you pay?"

"I didn't have to."

"Did you steal them?" Itachi asked raising his eyebrow.

"No, nice sales guy gave them to me for free." I told him making him glare at me, why? Oh yeah, the sales dude was flirting with me, I forgot.

"Nice sales guy?" Itachi questioned.

"Well, he was nice to me."

"He was flirting with you."

"I figured that out at the end."

"After how long not realizing it?"

"At least fifteen minutes." I answered honestly shrugging slightly.

"So for fifteen minutes he was flirting with you and you had no clue."

"Pretty much."

"What will I do with you?"

"Give me candy?" I questioned.

"Never mind." Itachi said realizing that having a serious conversation with me is hopeless.

"Fine, don't give me candy." I pouted.

"I don't have candy." Itachi pointed out.

"You don't?" I asked looking at him and he nodded, "That's just sad."

"I am going to create my clone and then rest to gain back my chakra so that Kisame won't be suspicious. Tell him I am sick or something."

"Should I bring you soup?"

"What?" Itachi asked confused and giving me a strange look, he should be used to this by now.

"To make you feel better."

"I am not actually sick." Itachi reminded me.

"Well for one if I bring you soup then it will look like you are actually sick."

"What is your other reason?" Itachi said picking up on the 'for one' comment.

"Soup is delicious." I said simply.

"Fine, bring me soup then."

"With bread sticks."

"Why bread sticks?"

"To dip in the soup."

"Fine just leave me alone so I can concentrate."

"You can't concentrate while I am here?" I questioned.

"You are distracting." Itachi said pushing me out the door. Fine I'll leave.

"Hey Akira, why were you kicked out?" Kisame asked as he was conveniently just coming out of his room.

"Itachi is sick, sick people are grumpy." I answered smiling innocently which was a dead giveaway to the fact that I was lying. Luckily this is Kisame and I give him this look all the time just to confuse him, so Kisame believed me. Seriously smiling innocently at random people confuses the crap out of them.

"Ah, that sucks."

"I am going to bring him soup later."

"That's nice of you. I suppose he wouldn't be up to talking about our plan to catch the kyuubi then?"

"No, well you could try but sick people are grumpy. Itachi plus grumpy plus Kisame equals bad. I mean he kicked me out and you know how much he likes staring at me." I informed Kisame.

"True. Fine. What are you going to do until he's better?"

"Well I stole his wallet so I guess I am going shopping. Later I will bring him soup. I really want candy." I told Kisame.

"Have fun." Kisame said knowing better than to get involved in my stealing Itachi's wallet ways. Old habits die hard.

"Bye." I said skipping happily down the stairs. In my head there is a song that sounds oddly like the Willy Wonka I've got a golden ticket song but with 'I've got Itachi's wallet' as the words.

* * *

"Do you sell candy?" I asked a bakery lady. Why I was in a bakery asking for candy I shall never know.

"Yes." the bakery lady said causing me to smile.

"I want some candy." I announced as if he couldn't have figured that out on his own.

"What kind?"

"There's kinds?" I asked staring at her like a kid that just found out that ice cream has flavors.

"Aren't there always?" she asked a little confused by my reaction.

"Well I didn't think I would have a choice of candy, since I was buying it from a bakery." I admitted.

"I get it now." the bakery lady figured it out.

* * *

After I walked through the town for a while I figured something out. All the men who are not married hit on me. I didn't notice it before because most of them were being sneaky because Itachi. What is up with this place? Aren't there any girls that live here? Seriously.

"Excuse me, could you tell me where the bakery is?" a, guess what, young man asked.

"Yes it's that way," I said pointed the way, "They have candy."

"In a bakery?"

"Yes."

"Thanks?" the young man said unsure since he was not used to my weirdness and it confused him. Poor confused normal person. Then he walked away.

"Miss!" I heard a slightly familiar voice shout at me.

"Yes?" I questioned looking for the one who called me and seeing the inn keeper.

"I was wondering what you and your two companions were doing for dinner?"

"Soup." I informed him wondering how it was any of his business.

"I was just making sure because my sister was going to make some cake later."

"That's dessert."

"True, but if you were too full..."

"From soup?"

"Well what if you were having all you can eat?"

"Then I would still eat cake."

"So you are coming over to eat cake later, great!" the inn keeper said happily.

"Going where?"

"To my house, it is right next to the inn."

"Oh okay." I said before the inn keeper guy disappeared. Actually he just left quickly.

"Wait, I never agreed." I said uselessly to myself. Crap Itachi is going to be pissed when he finds out. Unless I don't tell him? Nah, Itachi would see through the lie.

* * *

When I re-entered our room, with all the crap I bought and soup, Itachi was sleeping on the bed. Itachi sleeping, I haven't seen that since the time he faked sleep so that I would grab the pillow from him and trick me into bed with him. Itachi seemed like he was in a normal sleep. Aw, he's cute while asleep.

"Itachi?" I whispered causing him to immediately wake up.

"Akira." Itachi greeted me eying all the things I bought.

"You have some special seal thing that can allow you to carry many things right?" I questioned just thinking about the amount of stuff I bought and the fact that I would have to carry it...well Itachi would.

"Yes." Itachi answered simply as he sat up in the bed.

"Want some soup?" I questioned getting out the two bowls.

"Yes."

"Okay." I said handing him one while I sat on the bed myself as we ate in bed. Probably not the best idea ever, eating on the bed, but we didn't spill it so it is okay.

* * *

"Well that was a lovely vacation." Kisame muttered as we left the town.

"It was." I agreed but actually meaning it. I got to go shopping, eat soup, have random paper selling guys hit on me, had some candy, and best of all I got free stickers.

"After the first day here there was nothing to do." Kisame whined.

"Oh yeah, because there are so many more things to do walking aimlessly in the forest." I countered.

* * *

Preview from next chapter: Penultimate

_"Your planning something, and it's something that I won't like." I accused Itachi as soon as Kisame left to go collect firewood. It was obvious that Itachi was planning something with how he had been acting. _

_"Yes." Itachi answered not looking at me, that's different._

_"It has something to do with conversations with Naruto that I can not know about."_

_"Yes."_

_"It has something to do with your brother."_

_"Yes."_

_"It's going to make me sad isn't it?" I asked in a much quieter voice._

_"Yes." Itachi whispered before Kisame came back and was confused because I was sad._


	41. Penultimate

This chapter brought to you by: The End of Exams and of my semester.

Penultimate

We traveled through the forest more or less in silence. Every so often Kisame would mutter abut something, Itachi would Hn at him, and I would notice something random like a squirrel or a twig. There was this really cute deer that I started to chase through the woods before Itachi caught me. Then I ran off the trail a couple of times. I fell into a hole once, then Itachi carried me for the rest of the time stating that it was safer that way.

"Your planning something, and it's something that I won't like." I accused Itachi as soon as Kisame left to go collect firewood. It was obvious that Itachi was planning something with how he had been acting.

"Yes." Itachi answered not looking at me, that's different.

"It has something to do with conversations with Naruto that I can not know about."

"Yes."

"It has something to do with your brother."

"Yes."

"It's going to make me sad isn't it?" I asked in a much quieter voice.

"Yes." Itachi whispered before Kisame came back and was confused because I was sad.

"So what's the plan?" Kisame asked as we cooked some soup that I got from the town to take with us.

"When we get closer to the Uchiha land you will wait outside and make sure that no one other than my brother comes in." Itachi explained not looking at me.

"What will Akira be doing?" Kisame asked.

"She will wait where we leave her." Itachi answered as if I was not even there.

"Oh yeah, because that has worked so well for us thus far." I countered.

"This time you will stay." Itachi scolded.

"Why?" I questioned trying to piece together what he was up to from the clues I had been given.

"You won't be able to go anywhere." Itachi answered simply.

"You are going to stick me in a tree again, aren't you?" I questioned pouting at him.

"Yes." Itachi answered.

"Meanie." I muttered then ate my soup.

* * *

"Since when did we have a tent?" I questioned staring at the tent that Itachi put up for the both of us.

"We always did."

"Oh yeah, now I remember. Why don't I have my own tent?"

"The same reason you don't have your own room." Itachi answered simply.

"Oh." I said entering the tent with Itachi. There was only one sleeping bag also. I stared at the bag for a while.

"There is only one sleeping bag for the same reason." Itachi answered so that I would stop staring at the bag. Then I shrugged and got my pajamas out. I looked over at Itachi who was staring obviously waiting for me to strip.

"Some privacy please."

"Nothing I haven't seen." Itachi muttered turning away from me. I quickly changed and turned to discover Itachi already in the sleeping bag. I promptly joined him laying on him.

"What?" I asked after Itachi gave me the Itachi version of an amused look.

"You seem comfortable." Itachi said with a smirk.

"Just because you are a good pillow does not give you the right to be cocky." I answered and his smirk grew. "Bad pervert, I mean arrogant jeesh."

"I love you." Itachi whispered into my hair as his arms went around me holding me in place, not that I was complaining I was comfortable. I quickly fell asleep wondering what Itachi was up to.

* * *

"Kisame go on ahead, I am leaving Akira here." Itachi informed Kisame as we reached a random stretch of woods. Well it was a random stretch of woods to me, Itachi obviously saw something I didn't and knew where he was.

"Why here?" I questioned as soon as Kisame was out of earshot.

"This is on the path that the Konoha ninja are supposed to travel on. After everything is said and done they should discover you and take you back there so that you can live your life there. That's what you wanted to do anyway." Itachi informed me not looking at me but at a tree. I know he has no reason to look at that three, it looks just like all the other trees in this forest.

"Why would I..." I questioned trailing off because I finally figured out what he was doing, "No."

"You will be happy there, they will protect you and you can help protect them. You can use your book to help them protect Naruto from the Akatsuki."

"What about you?" I questioned willing him to look at me.

"I will die."

"What?" I sputtered out without thinking.

"The sharingan causes a sickness so I would die anyway, I plan on giving my brother my techniques so that he can be safe from Madara."

"Whose Madara, wait sick?"

"Yes, there is no known cure."

"No known cure or no cure known to you?"

"Known to me."

"That's stupid I can look it up and tell you the cure." I informed him desperately.

"Even then my brother would still want to kill me."

"That's because he does not know the truth, you could tell him."

"It's better that he hates me and gets my techniques before I die. That way I can protect him."

"Couldn't you protect him still alive?"

"No. Even if he believed me he would still need time to get used to the idea of me being good and in that time Madara could use him."

"Who is Madara?" I questioned unable to ignore the question any longer.

"He is one of the most powerful Uchiha and he is very old, he wants to use Sasuke in his own scheme."

"So to protect Sasuke you have to give your techniques to him?"

"Yes."

"What about me?" I questioned finally getting him to look at me with how pathetic I said that.

"You will go to Konoha and be happy." Itachi answered as if he was trying to convince himself.

"Alone?"

"You will find someone else."

"So you are just going to leave me, just like that?" I questioned beginning to cry and wanting to punch Itachi in the face.

"I have planned this for years," Itachi informed me suddenly hugging me to him, "And you are the only thing that ever caused me to question my plan. You are the only thing I will regret leaving behind."

"Then don't!" I shouted at him pushing him away slightly but clutching his cloak.

"I have to." Itachi said firmly taking my right wrist in his hand and causing me to let go of his cloak. He took my hand and removed my death-germ-infested-Orochimaru ring and then slipped his on my finger. "I love you." he told me once more.

"I love you too." I cried out clutching to his hand as if that would stop him from leaving me.

"I know." Itachi said simply before he pulled me to him for a needy tear stained kiss. I clutched harder to his cloak as I felt us leave the ground. The next thing I knew I found myself shoved into a tree as we stood on a branch making out. "I'm sorry." Itachi whispered as he stepped back once we stopped for air.

"There is no way to convince you otherwise is there?" I questioned looking at him with sorrowful eyes because I already knew the answer.

"I'm sorry." he said completing the hand signs that made him disappear into a swirl of leaves. I sat down on my branch and curled up into a ball and cried until I could cry no more knowing I was once more alone.

* * *

I cried for a very long time and finally looked up when I heard someone call my name. Not just any someone but Kisame. Wait I was supposed to be found by Konoha ninja not Kisame. I looked down to see not only Kisame but Tobi, a random girl with glasses, random large guy, a random silvery haired dude, and Sasuke. Sasuke looked worse for wear and he must have been passed out for a while. Come to think of it how long was I sitting in this tree? I am really hungry right now. Where are the Konoha ninja?

"Looks like the Konoha ninja passed right by her and didn't notice her." Kisame laughed looking at me.

"It looks like she knew what Itachi was planning." Tobi answered sounding very un-Tobi like.

"I am right here you know." I said with my voice slightly harsh from crying and not having anything to drink for a while.

"She seems like a cry-baby, why did we have to come all the way back here to get her?" the silvery haired boy who I just noticed had weird teeth and a huge sword questioned. Wow I suck at being observant, I would really fail at being a ninja.

"Hey Akira do you want down from there?" Kisame asked stupidly.

"No I was thinking about dieing here. I mean it's so nice a green up here. Then after I am dead squirrels can hide nuts in my pockets." I answered sarcastically in no mood to deal with stupidity.

"Hahaha, get her down here already Kisame." Tobi ordered after a very eerie laugh chuckle thing. Kisame quickly jumped up there and I allowed him to pick me up and place me on the ground in front of the group of people.

"Sasuke could you turn around for a second I need to show Akira who I am." Tobi answered and I was confused. Tobi took off his make causing me to stare in shock for several seconds as I saw an all too familiar face behind it.

"Sensei?" I questioned making sure I was not crazy.

"I was amazed when Itachi brought you back to the Akatsuki base for me, I thought you were dead."

"You," I said then my chakra came back due my my hate of the man in front of me, "Are the reason they are dead! You are the man that they killed themselves to be free from!" I shouted jumping at him and using every ninja skill I had learned from him all those years ago to try to land a punch in his face. He easily dodge every single punch I threw at him. Everyone but Kisame and Tobi stared at me in shock because they had not seen my chakra before. "You are the reason my entire family killed themselves." I accused trying to kick him in the shins and other parts of his body.

"Yes," He admitted, "Itachi tried to keep you away from me and he didn't even know that I had any connection to you. That boy is too smart sometimes, he realized almost immediately that I was Madara."

"You're Madara?" I questioned confused and no longer attacking because I no longer had access to my chakra. "Dang it!" I shouted when I realized that I no longer could try to kill him.

"You were never able to keep your anger for too long could you?" Madara asked smirking behind his mask, I am sure. Stupid emotional ADD with me not being able to stick with one emotion.

"So that's why we came back for her." Silvery haired weird teeth boy commented.

"Not exactly. You see Akira's full name is Chishiki Akira." Madara answered as all the people other than him stared at me in shock.

"You just had to tell them all my secret huh?" I questioned pouting because I did not get to punch him in the face.

"So that's how she knew all that stuff." Kisame said finally figuring out why I knew things.

* * *

Yeah, you all are probably really pissed at me right now...but it's the plot...

* * *

Preview from next chapter: The Final Chapter

_I quickly opened my book once more so that I could perform the one jutsu that my family has that would allow me to be transported somewhere. The main problem with this particular jutsu is that the more vague you are the better chance of it working. Yeah it not always working is a major flaw, plus you have to have the book out. So I quickly said, "Take me somewhere that I will be safe!" _

_I landed with a grunt in the lap of someone, I know it was someone and not just a really squishy rock because they grunted too. I looked up to see who I had landed on and said, "You're alive!"_


	42. The Final Chapter

Before I begin this last chapter I want to thank everyone who has ever reviewed...I love you all. I also love people who read it, but not as much. Favoritism to the reviewers. I hope everyone enjoys this chapter and the end of Issues with Itachi.

This chapter brought to you by: The beginning of my vacation and random morning and evening sickness. I feel fine in the afternoon but in the morning and night I am coughing and sneezing.

The Final Chapter

"Akira, I have something I want you to do for me like a good member of the Akatsuki." Madara started to ask.

"I don't want to be a member anymore. The only reason I stayed was because of Itachi and now he's dead." I replied sharply noting that Sasuke cringed when I said that, serves him right.

"Akatsuki members are Akatsuki members for life." Madara explained.

"Then what about Orochimaru?" I pointed out.

"He should have been killed."

"But he wasn't." I countered.

"I suppose we could come to some sort of agreement that will allow you to leave Akatsuki." Madara mused.

"How exactly?"

"Use your book to answer three questions for me and then I will allow you to no longer be a part of the Akatsuki." Madara announced.

"What are the questions?" Like I was going to agree without knowing what I was agreeing to.

"Where is the nine tailed fox, what is Konoha's weak point, and what is the best way to capture the nine tailed fox?" Madara answered.

"Okay." I agreed stripping off my cloak and revealing my-Itachi's outfit that I was wearing underneath. I threw the cloak aside and accidentally on purpose hit the silvery haired dude with it. Then I gave a glare to/at Sasuke, just in case I don't get to do it later before I leave.

I quickly snapped my fingers and summoned my book into my hands and asked it his three questions. My book being out caused the usual chakra spike and I ignored those who had never witnessed it before, all but Madara and myself, they were staring at me. I closed it once more and stood there staring at Madara while thinking.

"Well?" Madara asked after a while of me looking at his mask covered face.

"How am I assured that you won't back out of the deal afterwards?" I questioned.

"I promise that you will no longer be a member of Akatsuki after you tell me the answer to my three questions that I asked before. I, personally, will not stop you from leaving." Madara promised as my chakra flashed once more sealing the promise.

"What was that?" Kisame asked curious.

"Any promises made to or by a Chishiki are instantly ensured by their chakra." Madara answered for me as I looked at some squirrel that was in a tree.

"Is she looking at a squirrel?" Karin, the red head, asked.

"Probably." Kisame answered.

"I think the squirrel is spying on me." I confirmed.

"Ignore the squirrel and let's get on with our deal." Madara suggested making me look at him once more.

"Fine. For question one the nine tailed fox is in the seal in Uzumaki Naruto. Konoha's weak point is the inability of the villagers to see that Naruto is their savior and the council. The best way to capture the nine tailed fox is through use of a seal on a new born baby—too bad you have to die." I said then smiled sweetly at Madara, which if anyone knows me they know that means that I am definitely up to no good.

"Akira." Madara growled at me as I continued to smile at him.

"Promise fulfilled." I answered. "I answered your questions."

"Akira you should give him the answer that he wants." Kisame suggested.

"No." I answered simply my smile falling off my face.

"Now Akira it is in your best interest to answer my questions." Madara threatened.

"No. I refuse I have already answered your questions. Just because you didn't like the answers I gave doesn't mean that I have to answer again. That was not part of our agreement. Now I am going to walk along through this forest here and hope that I do not die alone." I told him before I turned around and started to head out of the clearing.

"Wait." Madara said causing me to look back at him.

"Yes?" I questioned.

"Are you going to keep Orochimaru's ring?"

"No, but I am going to keep my-Itachi's ring." I said turning back around (facing away from them) and waving showing the ring to them. I figured since they are ninja's they would be able to see it.

"Oh and speaking of our promise, I never said anything about the rest of the people here. I am sure that one of them will want to keep you around for some reason." Madara said probably smirking.

I quickly opened my book once more so that I could perform the one jutsu that my family has that would allow me to be transported somewhere. The main problem with this particular jutsu is that the more vague you are the better chance of it working. So I quickly said, "Take me somewhere that I will be safe!"

I landed with a grunt in the lap of someone, I know it was someone and not just a really squishy rock because they grunted too. I looked up to see who I had landed on and said, "You're alive!" then the chakra exhaustion from using the jutsu kicked in right after I whispered, "Gaara."

Continued in 'Grievances with Gaara' (Which should be out soon...really soon)

* * *

I cursed the fates, the powers that be, the big guy, Kami, whatever you want to call them/him/she/it. I had died a double agent ninja of Konoha and woke up a baby once more. I didn't remember anything about my past life until I was thirteen but it still seems wrong that I remember at all. They told me, in a dream mind you I have no clue what happened after I died, that because of the sacrifice I made in life that I would be able to remember my past life.

So now I am stuck in this world with memories of being a ninja. Memories of everything that I had to give up, memories of _her_. I began to distance myself from Sasuke because of the memories, because of the guilt of leaving _her_ alone, why did I have to remember? If I hadn't remembered then I would be happily living with my little brother and my family not wondering about _her_. I tried finding her but I could only remember her first name, Akira—which, sadly, is a very common name.

I graduated school early and am currently the vice president of my father's company. My father is president of the company and I barely see my brother because I work all the time. Mother takes care of Sasuke, by spoiling him, while father and I ignore his existence—me because of _her_ and my father because he's my father.

Kisame is one of my employees, when I saw him in the elevator one morning I was shocked and I promoted him so that he could work with me, and he usually convinces me to live a little and go out sometimes. That brings me to tonight Kisame had convinced me to go out with him, he promised it would only be for a few hours. All went well until the car broke down...

"How long will it take to fix?" I questioned.

"I don't know." Kisame answered.

"I have a meeting tomorrow." I pointed out.

"When?"

"Two."

"It should be fixed by then."

"The meeting is across town and I need the data for it."

"No one, who knows what they are doing, is open at this time—who closes at five anyway?—I called a tow truck." Kisame answered since he had been the one talking to the car repair place.

"It's not that late, I could walk home."

"What about if one of your parents pick you up?"

"Father is on business overseas and mother went with him."

"What about Sasuke?"

"Too young to drive."

"Any other friends?"

"No, you?"

"No, unlike you, most people are turned off by my looks." Kisame answered.

"I see."

"What's your excuse for not having anyone to call?"

"Too busy to make friends." I answered simply, yeah busy trying to forget that other life.

"Well we could walk." Kisame said finally agreeing to my original idea.

"Let's get started then." I answered impatiently.

"Wait, one of us needs to wait with the car for the tow truck."

"When will it be here?"

"All the drivers are out right now so they don't know."

"I'll walk."

"Okay, call me when you get home." Kisame said sitting on the hood of his car preparing to wait for the tow truck.

I walked through a part of town that I have never stepped foot into before. It wasn't a bad place just not that good. Well that was my opinion, key word being was, before I heard the muggers.

"Give us your money kid." I heard a voice in an alleyway say.

"No." I heard a faintly familiar voice say. I couldn't place the voice so I decided to see who was in trouble.

"This is your last warning give us the money." The thug from before's partner said as I walked around the corner and finally had a visual. There were two large, as in fat, men who had cornered a blond high school kid. Blond—Naruto,the name appeared in my head instantly when I saw the blond locks and the blue eyes.

"I do believe he said no before." I said before I had fully thought out the situation, something that usually does not happen.

"What's it to you?" one of the men asked me.

"Leave." I threatened using my most threatening tone of voice on the two men. Apparently they were chickens because they left quickly and the blond, who had been being held up by one of the men holding his shirt up, slid down onto the ground.

"Who're you?" Naruto asked looking at me and I just noticed how hurt he was. He had a black eye and several cuts, nothing major, the two men must have beaten him up before I got there.

"Itachi Uchiha." I greeted him inspecting the worst cut he had on his arm.

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki. My house is close I am sure my sister could patch me up." Naruto told me as he tried to stand up and I allowed him to use me to balance himself. "What's a nicely dressed man like you doing around here?"

"My friend's car broke down and I couldn't get a ride so I decided to walk." I answered simply.

"Then maybe my sister could drive you home." Naruto said with a huge grateful smile in my direction right before he took my arm and began to drag me towards his home. He mentioned his sister twice now, in our old world he didn't have one so I guess she is someone only in this world.

"That would be appreciated." I answered.

"Here's my house." Naruto said leading me to one of the nicer houses in the neighborhood, nowhere near as nice as my families mansion but still nice. He dragged me to the door and opened it swiftly with his key. "Take off your shoes my sister hates cleaning and claims that if you don't wear shoes in your house then you don't have to vacuum as much."

"Hn." I answered in trademark Uchiha fashion because there was nothing that I could say to that sort of logic.

"I'm home." Naruto called in a really loud voice.

"I thought that something happened, I was just about to go out and search for you." a very familiar voice called from the next room. I quickly turned my head in that direction as Akira, my Akira, walked into the room. "What happened?"

"I got attacked by two men and they tried to mug me but he came and saved me." Naruto explained as I simply stood there staring at her in shock.

"Thank you for saving him." Akira told me with a grateful look that took away what little control I had over my body that night. For the second time that night I did something without thinking about the consequences of my actions. I quickly cleared the few steps to get across the room to where Akira was and hugged her. I didn't introduce myself, I didn't talk to her, I just hugged her and didn't want to ever let go. No I wouldn't let go. This was my second chance, she is here now.

"Um, I appreciate you saving Naruto and all, but do you always hug random strangers or is it just me?" Akira questioned me with her usual humor.

"Just you." I whispered into her hair, smirking. I had found her! She was here, I could live with her here without worrying that she would be taken from me by some random shinobi or Madara. I could live with her in peace. She must be why I remembered the past.

"Could you let me go now?" Akira questioned me obviously confused and probably disturbed that some random stranger was hugging her and not letting go. Immediately I wanted to answer no but logic once again was present in my mind and I slowly let her go, for now. I am going to make her mine again, she will love me again. I found her! We will be together and neither of us will ever be alone again.

Side story of 'The Love of the Stalked'

* * *

Wow it was fun writing in Itachi's point of view, I might have to do it more often. He's obsessed. I guess this is the end of this story. I hope you all enjoyed it, I enjoyed writing it and getting reviews. It had to end because of the plot that I thought of when I started writing it. I hope you all will read my other Naruto orientated stories (which currently are: Failure to Fangirl—a GaaraXOCXSasuke story, The Love of the Stalked—a NaruHina story told in a third person's point of view and it includes excerpts from people's journals in the beginning, and the sequel to this story). Shameless plugging, shameless plugging. I'll miss this story but it will live on in Grievances with Gaara. I keep typing but I have to stop so this is the end of Issues with Itachi.


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